Felicity Cloakes perfect vegetarian haggis. Photograph: Felicity Cloake/Guardian

Haggis, Ive always thought, is one of those dishes best left to the experts. I briefly considered testing this theory this year, but Graeme Taylor of A Scots Larder promptly put me off by quoting a recipe in his possession: Leave the windpipe out of the pan to disgorge the phlegm. Call me squeamish, but I do not deal in culinary phlegm.

But vegetarian haggis, well, thats another matter entirely. It is one of the few vegetarian versions of any meat-centred dish that can stand entirely on its own merits commercial versions tend to be delicious (though, I admit, the plucky sort has my heart. And lungs. And windpipe).

The problem is, I realise after devouring the real deal in the interests of research, the principle flavour in haggis is offal. Meaty, iron-y and ever so slightly sweet, it is a tough one to recreate without animal matter and nor, I suspect, would many vegetarians relish it even if I did succeed. Instead, Im going to try to capture some of the same richness of flavour and make something that goes equally well with neeps, tatties and half a bottle of whisky.

Naively, I assume that the main ingredient in a vegetarian haggis will be vegetables, but after my happy run-in with the meaty version, I realise that grains have a more significant part to play. Traditionally, this means oats, which all the recipes I try use, but pulses are also popular, with chef Graham Campbell, the Vegetarian Society, Edinburgh restaurant Hendersons and Veg Web all using lentils of various colours, and food writer Carl Legge plumping for yellow split peas. Legge, Henderson and Veg Web all go for coarse pinhead oatmeal, which gives the haggis a more interesting texture than rolled oats. Cooked down to a nubbly porridge, they will form the base of my haggis.

The lentils, like the beans used by many recipes (borlotti in Campbells case, aduki for Legge and kidney for the Vegetarian Society), are of course very nice, but they tend to retain their shape rather than dissolving into the other ingredients, making the finished dish more of a bean stew than a haggis. Legges split peas work better, though I prefer the sweeter, earthier, more assertive flavour of the green kind. Legge and Veg Web also use pearl barley, which seems a stroke of genius a traditional Scottish favourite, and a way to add yet more textural interest to my hearty haggis.

Legge and the Vegetarian Society add nuts to their haggis ground peanuts and hazelnuts in the latter case, toasted and chopped mixed nuts for Legge but, though haggis should never be a light affair, I think mine has enough bulk without them. The same goes for Veg Webs fake minced beef. Im sure such things have their place when you dont eat meat, but this place isnt here. (Or, indeed, in my fridge. Ever.)

Vegetables do play a part. Traditional haggis uses onions, rather than Campbells shallots and garlic, so Im sticking with them. Im adding carrots too, which are popular for good reason, adding some much-needed sweetness to the pan. Every recipe I try includes mushrooms, much vaunted for their meaty flavour and texture Campbell goes for shiitake, Legge for chestnut and the others dont specify, but Ive chosen portobello, which Ive always found to be the most satisfyingly fleshy of fungi. I consider adding swede, too, but decide this may be overkill given the customary accompaniment.

The overriding flavour of haggis, offal aside, is pepper. Lots of pepper. Theres also, I think, a hint of sweetness Campbell uses cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice, Legge allspice and nutmeg and the Vegetarian Society mixed spice, while Hendersons rather daringly stick in garam masala. I really enjoy their haggis, but if I closed my eyes to the neeps and tatties on the plate, I could be eating something Indian. In fact, rather than playing around with lots of different spices, Im going to keep it simple with sweetly peppery allspice and fiery black pepper.

Herbs are popular Campbell, in particular, sticks in vast amounts of thyme and rosemary, which give his haggis a rather Mediterranean flavour but I cant really see that they contribute much, especially with so much pepper involved. That said, the dish needs a serious injection of something savoury to save it from unbearable worthiness. Hendersons and the Vegetarian Society use soy sauce and Veg Web Worcestershire sauce (presumably a vegetarian variety) and Marmite the last, which I also found a useful addition to my nut roast, rides to the rescue again, supplying umami in salty spadefuls.

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How to cook the perfect vegetarian haggis