We are bombarded all day, every day with noise. Often, the noise carries messages for us. The messages can be criticism, inspiration, questions, need, opinions, emotions, and many more sounds. Even silence in some instances can be a type of noise. With all this stimuli coming in, how do we separate the noise that will be beneficial from the noise that is toxic? How do we find clarity and reduce distraction from what matters? Lets reflect on the types of noise, and then decide how we can best deal with them.

Be an observer one day and watch people anywhere. It makes me a little sad to see how attached we are to our phones and how focused we can be on interacting with them instead of strengthening a relationship with another person. We waste time checking for likes, searching for the right picture, scanning e-mail every five seconds, and taking another selfie. Our interactions have become impersonal swipes and taps. Our phone is never far away and close by is our tablet or computer. We are consumed with listening to stories, opinions, and watching a variety of glimpses of peoples lives through their videos.

Technology can be a wonderful noise, but only in moderation. It can raise our anxiety level and keep us from spending time and focusing on the people we love. Set boundaries on how often you use your technology. Take back some of that time you are spending with a machine and use it for self-improvement.

Toxic thoughts could be depression, low self-esteem, the need to please everyone, doubt, and judgement. You are wonderfully made and worthy just the way you are. As long as you are doing the best you can to be the best version of you, you are doing all you can. Use positive thoughts and inspiration to chase out the negative thoughts, and surround yourself with good people who send a positive message. Ask for help and counseling when it is needed.

Even when we have a million things to do, it is hard not to be pulled into random conversations with friends and colleagues. If that conversation is not giving you knowledge, strengthening a relationship or helping you to improve, then walk away.

Music can be a beautiful noise. It can soothe us and bring us peace, but music with a negative message can be a toxic distraction for us. Choose wisely and listen to what will make you better.

The sound of nature has always had a calming quality for me. I sit on my porch and listen to the sounds around me. I clear my head and take in the beauty around me.

Listening to too much news can have negative effects. We are consuming what everyone else thinks and believes and we begin to question our own beliefs. I hate to watch the political shows not because Im not interested in learning about what is happening in the political arena, but because the behavior on the shows often shows the worst side of human behavior. Im not sure why we cannot discuss a topic without becoming angry or interrupting each other. My husband was watching them so much that I saw a change in his demeanor. He was becoming more negative than usual so I suggested maybe he needed to balance his television diet.

Meetings can be valuable moments where we brainstorm ideas, discuss plans, and have a chance to build relationships. Unfortunately, there also seems to be meetings that are ineffective. Do your best to find a reason to avoid that type of meeting and the frustration that it may cause you.

One day my daughter and I walked into the Ross clothing store and the greeter said Welcome to Ross. In the most defeated, woe is me, sigh filled, bored voice I have ever heard. My daughter and I use that moment whenever we want to describe someone who thinks they are carrying a greater weight than anyone else in the world, and they want to tell everyone about it, and they want to do so repeatedly. You cannot make this noise better, because every positive thought you throw out will be shot down every time. If you surround yourself with negativity, you will eventually succumb to it yourself. It is said that you become like the five people who you are with the most, make sure they are not negative.

You are really the only one responsible for letting this noise in because you have the power to choose how you react to what happens to you and how you react to balancing the many different aspects of your life. I used to freak out if something was out of sync in my morning routine or if one more thing was added to my already busy day. What helped me to react to everything with calm was something that pastor Joel Olsteen said. He said instead of allowing stress to take over, be a person of excellence and find the calm, reasonable way to react. Show others what grace under pressure looks like and you are helping them defeat stress.

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Now, whenever I start to feel stress rising, I talk myself back down and tell myself I can only do my best at any moment. Becoming bent out of shape because something Im juggling might fall is a waste of energy.

Solutions to tuning out the noise

Hide: Sometimes you have to find a spot away from all the noise where no one can find you and you can focus and be productive or just recharge. You cannot be distracted and the silence will be restorative.

Take a healing day: These are days that I feel my emotions have been stretched, my ability to deal with unpleasant people is at a low, and Im just feeling tired. I tell myself that I am going to slow my pace down and surround myself with nothing but positive. That positive could be surrounding myself with people I really enjoy, having an extra cup of coffee, or refusing to worry about anything that will require too much brain power.

Write down distractions vs. plans: Sometimes we can become so busy we do not even realize what our noises are. Keep a journal where you write down daily distractions. Start to write down your plans for the day. Write down the big tasks for the day. You are in charge of where you direct your time and energy so decide what your priorities will be.

Set boundaries: Limit screen time, allow yourself a few brain breaks and then get back to work, reduce distractions, and do not feel guilty about closing your door when you need to complete a project.

Remove what doesnt make you better: Decide what noises are holding you back and eliminate them. Remove anything that isnt meaningful. If something doesnt fill you up or make you better, tune it out.

Filter the noise you let in: The noise you allow into your life is eventually going to affect you for the good or bad. If you are in a toxic relationship where you hear only criticism, you may begin to question your value. If all you hear is negative, you will become negative. If you hear upbeat, inspirational messages all day, you will be more positive.

Reflect on the noise that is swirling around you. Is it making you better or holding you back? How can you change that noise to live the best life? The choice is completely yours. You have the power to change everything or maintain it by what you allow in. I hope you choose only beautiful noise.

Jennifer Bonn is a freelance writer and Kennesaw resident. She has been published in several magazines, and has published a book titled Stay Away from the Girls Bathroom, A Teachers Guide. It is available from Deeds Publishing at http://www.deedspublishing.com.

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