Mental health, technology, politics...they're all changing how we view our lives, goals, and the world. So what can we do about it?

Bestselling author Mark Manson is back and sharing this worldview in his new book, Everything is F*cked. Think of it as self help for people who don't like self help. Manson recently spoke with the Brew about his new book and how to move from quantity to quality in your own life.

Brew: Tell us why everything is f*cked.

Mark: Well, everything's f*cked because everything's always been f*cked. My argument is that humans are the problem: Our psychology looks for conflict and problems. The world is fine.

Is this a book that you would've written two years ago, or is this tied to what we're experiencing today?

It's definitely more emergent with the time. There were two things going on. One, there was a lot of data showing a mental health crisis happening across the whole population, but especially with younger people. The other was people seemed to be in hysterics over everything.

What I found interesting when I was touring the world promoting The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck in 2017 and 2018 was that this is happening all across the worldit's not just the U.S. Everybody who lives in the U.S. recognizes that public discourse has gone to sh*t and everybody hates each other. But that same dynamic is happening everywhere. It got me curious about what it is about 21st century technology, 21st century life that promotes this breakdown of public discourse.

As you started looking into what's wrong, was there anything in your research that changed your mind or surprised you?

I really went into it expecting social media to be the big culprit. And I came to the conclusion that it's notit's something more fundamental.

Things like depression and anxiety don't correlate as much to social media as it seems. It's not just screen time or smartphone usage. I came to the conclusion that it's not necessarily the technology itself, it's the way the technology warps how we perceive the world and perceive our relationship to the world.

You're writing self help for people who don't want self help. How do you, as a writer, connect with people who think they don't need to (or want to) hear and learn from your message?

I think what turns most people off from self help is the idealistic self help. I blogged for a long time about psychology and relationships. We spent a lot of time with psychological research. One of the first things you realize is that humans suck. We're pretty selfish and we're bad at thinking clearly and we're very self-serving and irrational. So my goal is to write a form of self-help that's not based on, 'hey, you can accomplish anything,' but rather, 'hey, let's try not to be so awful.' And I think that just strikes people as more realistic and honest.

What can readers pull from your book and start implementing in their lives today?

There are two big takeaways. One is to gain a better understanding of how our hopes and perceptions of the world can easily be skewed and corrupted. I also ended up making a strong argument for being more conscious of our commitments and choosing self limitationslimiting what we expose ourselves to, what we engage in, who we engage with.

For most of history, it was always about getting more, achieving more, knowing more. In the 21st century when we have access to everything, the way to grow and improve is by narrowing our focus. Finding the handful of really good sources of information, relationships, and pursuits.

So what are some limitations you've set for yourself?

I definitely consume way less media these days. I am less active on social media. I travel less and make a point to spend time with a small group of family and friends. The orienting principle in my life over the last few years has been quality over quantity. Everything in our culture is pushing us toward quantity, but quantity is a very poor replacement for the meaning and satisfaction that come from good, quality relationships.

You once went on a five year travel expedition. Did the quantity/quality dilemma hit you during that experience?

I started to notice towards the end that the more places I went, the more places I wanted to go. I would go to Hong Kong and have an okay time, but then see all these pictures online of Hong Kong and think I did it wrong. I have to go back. I realized that travel became one of those things for me where it was becoming compulsive and about quantity of experience.

That in a nutshell is what's happening to us across many parts of life. There's this compulsive drive to accumulate more experience. Go on more dates, make more money, do more stuff. And that constant pursuit of more just leads to more desire. You don't ever reach a point where it's enough. You have to pick a moment and say this has to be it. I'm giving up the chase.

What separates people from not just saying they want to be better and successful, but actually doing it?

I think what ultimately leads to success is an obsessive focus on improvement in the moment. One of the arguments I make in the book is that hope can actually become destructive in certain contexts. If we hope for something too much, we psychologically separate ourselves from it and put it on a pedestal and think it's going to change our lives. And in many ways that creates more anxiety, resistance, and frustration.

Just focus. Whatever's in front of you, just do it better than you did it before. Don't spin up all these visions of, if I just started this company and had this house and knew these people, everything would be great. Because those visions are more limiting than they are enabling.

Do we use too little profanity in our daily life?

Not necessarily, but I think we take it too seriously. They're just words.

Grab your copy of Everything is F*cked. If you're still trying to figure out why the name Mark Manson sounds familiar...you might be remembering his previous hit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Still want more? Give Mark a follow on Twitter to keep up with him every day or check out his 20 best articles that he's conveniently rounded up, covering everything from dating and relationships to life choices and culture.

What writers or thinkers have served as inspiration to you? David Foster Wallace, I'm a big fan of his nonfiction. Joan Didion. Hunter S. Thompson. I'm on a big Hannah Arendt kick right now. I'm a big Steven Pinker fan. Jonathan Haidt writes great stuff.

What have you been reading? This summer I went out and bought classic books by really famous women authors. So I read some Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston and Hannah Arendt.

What have you been watching? I just watched the new season of Stranger Things. I'm rewatching a classic anime called Neon Genesis Evangelion. This is super nerdyit's like 20 years old and Netflix just put it up and I'm rewatching it for the first time since college.

Favorite travel destination in the last year? Last year I went to the World Cup in Russia and it was amazing. I love Russia. It's so raw and people are so abrasive, which I strangely like. And then on top you have all this amazing history and culture, and the food's really interesting.

Originally posted here:
An Interview with "Everything is F*cked" Author Mark Manson - Morning Brew