Setting limits can be liberating

In the discussions about work-life, there is plenty of focus on saying no. Setting boundaries, imposing limits and restricting activities seem like logical responses to the too-fast, too-much, too-demanding reality that many people face.

But there are some important new ways to look at why you would say no andon the contrarywhy you should say an enthusiastic yes to other pursuits. In fact, your choices about where to invest and where to divest are important to your career.

An important starting point is to consider when you will want to engage, get involved and participate. Rather than having a world view which starts by shutting down opportunities, it will be more powerful to focus on all you have to contribute and the places you want to plug into your community.

People want to work with colleagues who are enthusiastic and embracing of possibility. In addition, you will feel more rewarded when youre deeply involved in projects you care about. All of these are reasons to lean in with energy and passion.

But saying no is critical to your sanity as well. You want to be a person who sets smart limits, but isnt limited. You want to be selective about where you contribute, but also enthusiastically engaged. You want to be respected as someone who manages your energy, but is also energetic. Of course no one will balance these perfectly, but keeping them in mind can help your career blossom.

Surprisingly, saying, no is a path to finding these balances and to saying, yes enthusiastically. Heres how to think about setting limits in new ways.

For work-life satisfaction and fulfillment, people must come to terms with their limited hours and years. The wheel in which you keep running is fueled by the mistaken belief that if you just go a little faster and work a little harder you can do it all. It is the misguided perception that if you just manage your time a bit more efficiently you can squeeze it all in.

But this is crazy-making. You cannot do it all, and the paradox of efficient time management is that while you may be leveraging every last second of your day, or optimizing your calendar, youll be reducing your personal fulfillment.

The alternative is to embrace your limits. Even though there will always be tremendous demands on your time, you cannot do it all. And this is a good thing. When you realize your time is limited, you can be more selective about how you spend it. Decide on whats most important to you and lean into those activities. Say yes when something is aligned with your passion or your goals. Say no when its not.

People who succeed in their careers tend to be those who have strong brands. They are known for a certain type of expertise or a well of talent in a particular area. When you are clear about who you are and what you do well, and the areas in which youre developing, you will be building your career because people will know you through your choices and actions. Youll say yes to what youre good at and the direction of your growth. And youll say no to everything else. Youll be legible and easy to readsomeone others can understand and count on.

Rewarding careers are the result of current success, but also the result of staying on a journey toward continued development. Choose when to say no and when to say yes by keeping the bigger picture in mind.

Choose to engage when you know an activity is a step on the path to your goals or aligned with your purpose. Give yourself permission to back away when a request lacks alignment with where youre headed. For example, you agree to manage the budget for your association, because you know you can add value and because the work will help you develop your analytical skills. On the other hand, you turn down the opportunity to procure supplies for the neighborhood picnic because while you love your cul-de-sac friends, its not aligned with other priorities, and you know you cant do it all. You will grow your career by developing your skills and growing your talents, so when choosing to engageor notuse this as one a criterion.

Choosing well helps you truly invest.

Growing your career hinges on your relationships and the quality and depth of the rapport you build with others. Making good choices about where you engage is a fundamental part of the relationships through which your career can progress.

Consider the people with whom you want to build connections, and engage in the activities which foster these. Say yes to the opportunity at work in which you will collaborate with people in marketing, because you want to build your marketing acumen and because you want to make a contribution. Choose not to invest your energy when you have less to contribute to a community, or when you have less to learn from them. You value all your colleagues and have a thirst to learn from everyone, of course, but remind yourself that you cant build meaningful relationships with unlimited numbers of people.

Also ensure youre able to spend the time which is necessary to nurture great relationships. Research has demonstrated true friendships are built over about 60 hours. While you may not have to invest quite this much in a strong relationship with a work colleague, your choices for where you engage should allow for real investment of time. If you choose to engage in too much, youll always be flitting from one activity to the next and youll miss the opportunity for the conversation before the call or the reflection time after the meeting.

Emerging from the pandemic, there is a renewed emphasis on the quality of relationships, and on building depth, not just on growing your number of LinkedIn connections. People will help you in your career when they feel they know and understand you, and when they have felt valued by you. And these are only possible when youve been able to invest time and energy in the relationship. Say no to doing it all, so you can truly engage with people and build depth, not just breadth, in your network.

Developing your career requires you to be committed and energetic. People want to work with those who are enthusiastic and passionate about their pursuits. When you make conscious choices about taking something on, your investment will contribute to your credibility.

If you say yes too frequently, you wont really be committing to anything because your focus will be scattered and you wont be able to do anything to your fullest potential. Instead, by choosing when to disengage, youll be able to fully immerse yourself in what you care most aboutand those with whom youre working will appreciate your full contribution on your chosen activities.

Knowing you cant do it all will help you determine what you can and should do. Your own self awareness should power your choices to say no and they will help you flourish in your career.

Read this article:
Know When To Say No: 3 Ways Saying No Can Build Your Career - Forbes