From birth, every child begins to construct a unique identity. This identity, or mental picture of themselves, helps give them a sense of who they are, who they can be, and where they fit in the world.

Childrens identities are shaped by many factors including their physical appearance, gender, age, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, strengths, education, relationships, social roles, media and culture. They might reflect this identity in a myriad of ways through their choice of clothes, hairstyle, music, physiology, language, attitudes, behaviours, interests, activities, and groups to which they belong. And as they get older and have new experiences, their identities will evolve and grow.

Helping children get to know who they are, what they are capable of, and all the things that make them special, is an important part of their development. For as their sense of self develops, so too does their confidence, self-esteem, and ability to achieve their true potential. And ...

... once you see a childs self-image begin to improve, you will see significant gains in achievement areas, but even more importantly, you will see a child who is beginning to enjoy life more (Wayne Dyer).

A good way to help children become aware of how they are deriving their sense of identity is to get them to watch out for I statements. For example I am ... reveals a childs beliefs about who they are; I can .... reflects what they think they can do; I have ... indicates the things or possessions they use to define themselves; and I like refers to their personal preferences or likes. But the important thing is to notice the words they use to finish these sentences, because any time they start with an "I" statement, they are effectively creating what they will do and experience in life.

Getting children to identify their strengths is a particularly useful step in this self-awareness process. Thats because every child, regardless of their individual circumstances, has strengths that are unique to them. Recognising their strengths allows them to positively focus on what they are doing successfully, as well as consider how they can apply their strengths to bring about the changes they want in their lives.

But it is important to note that a childs identity can only ever be a perception of who they think they are. In fact, the word identification is derived from the Latin word idem, meaning same and facere, which means to make. In other words, children choose to make certain things the same as themselves, or part of their identity, based on the way they perceive the world. The problem is when children base their identities on faulty thinking; for example, I didnt do well in the test again. Im an idiot, a failure, a loser. But just because they think this way, doesnt make it the truth, nor does it serve any useful purpose. And in holding onto this false identity, they essentially rob themselves of their true potential. Thats because when they label themselves as a certain type of person, only capable of limited things, then they can only ever hope for limited outcomes.

The key then, is to help children stick to the facts, not be so limited in their definitions of who they think they are, and always use positive "I" statements. For what what they think and believe about themselves will affect everything they do and achieve in life.

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Getting to Know Who I Am (SELF-AWARENESS & IDENTITY)