My personal bankruptcy forced me to re-evaluate and re-prioritize

If youve followed my column in the National Post this past year, youll know that I focused on my Dragons Den investments after the cameras stopped rolling: the people behind the projects, their successes, and their challenges. Ive enjoyed telling these stories because they celebrate the spirit of entrepreneurship and innovation that is very much alive and well in Canada.

Based on the success of those columns, the Post has asked me to continue as a contributor. I am delighted to do so. But Im going to switch gears, and talk about business from a few different angles. I will write about a variety of subjects relevant to todays entrepreneurs everything from business ethics to philanthropy to social media.

First up is success. How we define it. How we measure it. And what it really means when we get it. My business career rolled out rather well. At least, by most standards. I was a very successful investment banker before the age of 40. My material dreams came true. I had what I thought I wanted. But I quickly found out how hollow success can be. I gained everything and lost what really mattered to me: I faced cancer, a failing marriage, and barely-there relationships with my three children.

This is not a new or unique story. Its one that gets told every day in corporate Canada. And its not unique to the business world. Canadas Own the Podium sports program celebrates medals rather than effort. Many athletes have trouble transitioning to a normal life after retiring from competitive sport because they have been more focused on the prize than the process. In school, students often feel compelled to get a job rather than spend time figuring out how they can uniquely contribute to the world. A few years in, theyre miserable.

It seems to me we constantly measure success according to some finite target winning a medal, getting a job or building a sizeable bank account rather than focusing on what we really value.

I encourage people to think hard about how they define success. My single-minded pursuit of wealth and power got me what I thought I wanted, but I had to spend years rebuilding my health and relationships with family and friends. That is not success.

My personal bankruptcy forced me to re-evaluate and re-prioritize. Faced with my own mortality and a disappointing family life, I did some serious and long-overdue self-assessment. I pondered a question that was given to me along with a small group of colleagues from the Young Presidents Organization (YPO): When you pass away, what would you like people to say at your funeral? When your family, friends and partners all stand, what will they likely say about you?

My response focused on what I wanted the outside world to see: My success as a businessman and philanthropist. Then the moderator modified the exercise slightly, and asked, What exactly would your children have to say if they wrote your epitaph? I knew what I would like them to say: that I was a great father. But I was honest enough to admit they could only say I was a great businessman. That exercise was a bucket of cold water in my face. It forced me to face the unpleasant reality that there was a significant gap between who I wanted to be and who I was. I was stumbling badly in the one area of my life that was truly important. So I set to work undoing the damage, living according to a new set of priorities. By example, in seeking shared time over the past 15 years, Ive travelled to some 40 countries with my now adult children, providing opportunities for incredible shared memories and bonding experiences. Were not perfect, but Im enormously happy with the progress.

Its easy for entrepreneurs to get out of balance. Were driven by passion that can sometimes consume us, causing us to sacrifice the things that bring the most lasting joy. Finding balance based on priorities actually takes a lot of work. I still struggle with the work addiction that got me out of balance in my early years, but I hold myself accountable to my new priorities, and I have a close circle of friends and colleagues who do the same.

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Rethinking my legacy