Is Were hella poor the inverse of I walked uphill, both ways, in bread bag shoes?

Maybe theres something to that old-time religion death and life are in the power of the tongue stuff after all. Because I swear, if I have to read one more accredited, empirical study about how yes everyone who grew up with frosted tips and those weird, tiny sunglasses really is as poor as they say, Ill be hospitalized with Terminal Sigh Syndrome.

Seems like starting a preemptive GoFundMe might be a good idea, because the stories are going nowhere faster than any given water-treading public school teacher. New data from the U.S. Government indicates that wealth is shrinking faster for the Millennial generation than any other in the past.

Weve been through this for the past decade. College costs are up. Housing costs are up. Fuel costs are up. Employed experience requirements are up. Yet wages are being held down like employers nationwide are ride or die chicks gone horribly wrong. Bubbles are expanding and thinning every which way you look, and level 0 economics students can suss out how effed we are.

The cry heard through all of age group 23-38 has been rising like our sea levels. Now, with the Federales information blast on generational wealth and lack thereof adding to the pile, inflation porn just took on a whole new, SFW meaning.

But its not safe for work is it? No ones work is safe. No ones money is safe. Even The Man says so.

Think the implications of these volumes upon volumes of findings only spell doom for the young and the fundless? Think again, dear reader.

Im already seeing it now, and so are you. Fast food places are proudly sticking Start at $10, $12, $15 per hour next to their hiring signs. Apartments are running move-in specials for years on end, and pushing resident referrals like they were caught in a Scentsy scheme.

Smell that? Its desperation.

People around my age, people with the dwindling modal income of people around my age, and the poor Gen Zers watching my generation yell at their grandparents are getting wise. We know that our apartment complexes arent at capacity. We know that no one else can take this demanding job without our skills. Sure, were stuck. But the adhesive is beginning to trickle upwards. This is whats going to happen to employers:

They will have a workforce of well-off, well-educateds who will leave you after the raises dont come because they have access to the best financial advice, and a safety cushion.

They will be bereft of admin, cleaning, and maintenance staff, because the younger generation cant afford to live where you need them.

They will have to accept that this means theyll either lose time by doing things like booking their own flights, or theyll have to suck it up and start paying people more.

This is whats going to happen to landlords:

Their properties are going to stand empty longer.

Non-disparagement lease clauses are going to get ignored just like they ignore busted mailboxes.

They will have to accept that this means theyre losing money as less moneyed people flee the areas they concentrated their buying in, and moneyed people end up not filling the gap because those areas are for poors, and their investments will stop making returns.

No matter how you feel about the issues, the fact remains: The combination of degree creep, economic inflation, wage stagnation, rising costs of living, lack of thorough public services, and us snowflakes being BLASTED with trustworthy news about all of it on such a regular basis means you either are or are dealing with a generation constantly on the edge, and increasingly collaborating on locating outs instead of competing for crummy ins.

The crabs have stopped trying to climb each other out of the bucket, and were daring the cook to put his hand in here and make our claw-clickin day.

And unless our elders and richers are reaching out with a good salary/benefits/non-crumbling countertop attached to some tongs, these paranoid pincers are going to nip em up GOOD.

Weve got all the documentation. The pudding is 100% proofed, and ready for flambing.

Howsabout we throw a match, and get it off the table already?

Continue reading here:
Wow! The maker scene has brought us a functional Batman grappling hook - The American Genius