I write about staring down fear a lot. Partly because it comes up often in life coaching, but theres no getting around that the main reason I dwell on it is because I prefer to live in a way that requires dealing with it over and over again.

In my life philosophy, fear is a necessary part of living fully. Like most, I can be really good at pushing through fear sometimes and I really struggle with it other times. I take it situation by situation.

Lately, the star situation has been my injured knee. I have an unremarkable medial meniscus tear, but to me it is very, very big and daunting because it is an unknown. Despite winning an award for a series I wrote on the prevalence of knee injuries in female athletes back in 1997, that wasnt about my knee, my body, my life. Oh, what a difference me-me-me makes.

This week I went to an orthopedist for a second opinion on whether or not I need arthroscopic surgery. The answer to that, though, is not what this column is about. Its about the feeling I got from the experience of the doctors office and my desire to share it.

I took a cab from the PATH station to my appointment across Manhattan to minimize my walking. The doctor was terrific he examined me, really listened and carefully laid out my options. (In my book, when you can say youve left a doctors office feeling heard and fully informed, you have hit the medical jackpot.)

But the key moment came when he asked me about my pain. Had it lessened over time? Worsened? Changed? He wanted details and I realized I couldnt give them to him. I wasnt clear on why until I was prone on the X-ray table and thinking about it. I had been so paralyzed with fear that I had barely allowed myself to get into a situation where it might produce pain.

Walking down stairs might hurt, so I did it the safe way. Bending it might cause a twinge, so I rarely did. Being on it for extended periods made it sore, so I steered clear. What if I made it worse? Because if theres one thing you learn when you wear a knee brace, its that much of the population has dealt with a knee injury and many are all too happy to share their experience, even if it means terrifying you.

It might not be a good idea to listen to lay people, the doctor said gently.

Yes. I could have kissed him. That felt so common sense and freeing. Not just with relation to my knee or any other physical issue. It was a metaphor for every darned fear, wasnt it? Its not like I originated this thought. Open up Louise Hays You Can Heal Your Life and look up knee or leg inability to bend, fear, inflexibility, fear of the future, not wanting to move.

All this went whirling through my mind. Stop listening to others when it gets to the point of detriment. Move forward at your own pace. Listen to your gut. But make sure you are moving, taking action, paying mind to those sharp instincts.

See the original post:
Stalled in Fear: How to Move Off Life's Sidelines