CALGARY Orlando Steinauer, Grey Cup coach, leader of men, never knew his father.

He grew up just outside Seattle as an only child of a drug-addicted single mom of little education: being alone was a daily part of his childhood.

Often he would wake up for school in an empty home, feed himself whatever there was to eat, return to that same kind of emptiness after school, usually after a sporting practice of some kind. He was, in his own words a latchkey kid partly bringing himself up, partly with the help of his grandfather.

And now, at the age of 46, a head football coach, a husband, a father of three. And now, not just a dad but a superdad. And now, having won the Grey Cup as a player in both Hamilton and Toronto, having won as an assistant coach with the Argos, this has been his first year as a head coach: The Tiger-Cats have a 16-3 record heading into Sundays Grey Cup game against Winnipeg.

His father would be proud of him if he had any idea who his father was.

Steinauer is different from almost any football coach youll find anywhere. Hes consumed the way coaches generally are consumed. Hes ambitious the way most coaches are ambitious. Hes driven the way most football coaches seem to be driven.

But three years ago, when he left the CFL to coach at Fresno State, as an assistant to former Hamilton quarterback Jeff Tedford, he was on the fast track. He was one of those names on the move. About to become the next great somebody. In his first year in U.S. college football, he was up for the prestigious assistant coach of the year award. He was a phone call away from getting a big-time college job.

But two different calls came instead. One from Marc Trestman, then with the Argos, who wanted him on his staff in Toronto. The other from Scott Mitchell, president of the Ticats, who made an offer Steinauer couldnt in the end refuse. He wanted Steinauer to return to Hamilton, work on a staff with former NFL stalwarts June Jones and Jerry Glanville, then transition into being the head coach of the Ticats.

So think about this: Hes living in California coaching at Fresno. He bought a house. Hes doing great. The three girls are in school. And he had the chance to return to Hamilton in the CFL of all places?

And he said yes?

Who picks Hamilton over California?

Steinauer did, almost entirely for family reasons. Coaching in the NFL, the ultimate goal for so many, is a 16-hour day, 360-day, sleep in the office kind of job. You live football. You breath football.

Its pretty much all you know.

Steinauer loves football and loves family. The CFL gave him that better life he couldnt find elsewhere. The league is not all year round. The days may be long during the season but you have an off-season, you have time to watch your oldest daughter play NCAA basketball or be involved in whatever endeavours your younger two daughters happen to be engaged with.

Long before this happened, back in 2003, while playing in the CFL he and his wife made a decision. They would find a place to live. One place. This would be home. They would become Canadian citizens. They wouldnt live the life of sporting nomads.

In football, not only are you year to year, youre game to game and I didnt want it to end abruptly so we worked hard to become landed.

His daughters Taeya and Rheyna were born in Canada. This is home, he said of Canada. I never wanted to be one of these guys on the move all the time. It was important to be stable. I think growing up without a dad, I thought about that a lot as I got older. And it made me think a lot about what kind of parent I wanted to be.

Football isnt who I am, its what I do, said Steinauer. I know for others its different. Its not for me to judge them. But I know what matters to me and our family. I want to see my kids. I want to be a part of their lives. This jobs allows me to be that.

Football matters so much to me. It gave me a life. It gave me a career. The CFL has afforded me a certain lifestyle that works for me.

And now, Sunday. The opportunity to win his first Grey Cup in his first season as a head coach. The Ticats first possible Grey Cup win in 20 years. He starred on that team two decades now. This championship means the world to him. But so does his family for a kid who grew up with next to no family.

When you grow up without something, you feel it, its with you, said Steinauer. When I became a dad, I didnt just want to be a parent. I wanted to great at it. I wanted to be there. Thats who I am. This (the game, his family) means the world to me.

ssimmons@postmedia.com

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SIMMONS: The dad coach Steinauer never knew would be proud of his son - Toronto Sun