Having a preconceived impression of a life coach as being a New Age concept, I was quite surprised to discover that I knew one. I have worked with Barbara Marchand on any number of projects involving such decidedly down to earth organizations as the Rotary Club, the Chamber of Commerce and the Alameda Welfare Council. I have always known her to be level-headed, practical and honest. When she asked me if I would be interested in trying some coaching, I had to re-evaluate my whole idea of it.

When I first started talking with Barbara about this, I had just learned that my mother-in-law had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The family was in the process of sorting out her living arrangements, medical care, and financial situation, all the while grieving the future loss of a vibrant and brilliant woman. Because she had always been fiercely independent and (justifiably) proud, we were completely side swiped by this turn of events.

Unfamiliar with the process involved with consulting a life coach, I wasn't sure whether what I was going through was even an appropriate direction to pursue. My understanding of what I would address during the coaching process would be to try to organize my time and resources, or to try to get in the routine of regular exercise or eating right. How would those principles apply to processing the painful, frightening truth of what we were going through?

I have plenty of sympathetic ears and shoulders because we are by no stretch of the imagination the only people who are going through the ageing process with our parents. I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have a support network to help with the unfamiliar emotional terrain.

I am discovering, however, that there are actually very practical, organizational facets to this process. For example, I was trying to determine what government programs might be available to my mother-in-law. Navigating the Internet, I discovered that there are any numbers of government programs, but the qualifications for each of these programs differ in infinitesimal ways. The language is deceptive and unwieldy. Before long I felt as if I would never make progress on this relatively small project I had been assigned. Much like being the poor sap that catches the ball in the middle of the game, with no idea of what the rules are or what team I'm on. Like the team coach, Barbara is not on the playing field surrounded by all of the players, she is able to watch the "game" from a distance, and see the directions that are available to me. With a gentle nudge, she points out what she can see, and then the obstacles fade away. It might be a simple suggestion to call an organization to ask for help, or it might be a way to sort out the information that I have in order to be able to make heads or tails of it.

One of the most important tools that Barbara has given me, or should I instead say she has reminded me that I already have, is to write it down! Whether it is a note about a conversation I have had with a medical professional, a question that has come up that I need to find the right person to ask, or simply the way that I am feeling at any given time about the process, it is important to be able to access that again easily.

This is a long, arduous road we're setting off on. The way is frequently murky, and it certainly feels as if we're walking uphill both ways barefoot in the snow. In helping to guide me through this unfamiliar terrain, both emotionally and practically, Barbara is making it possible for me to navigate it, and share with you my journey.

Carrie Beavers can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . For a free one hour coaching session, visit barbaramarchandassociates.com or call 510-410-8100.

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Life Challenges, Life Coaches