Do you consider yourself to be emotionally intelligent?

Its hard to believe emotional intelligence didnt hit the mainstream until the release of Daniel Golemans book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ in 1995.

Its front and center now and more important than ever. It boils down to two things at its core

Were all naturally born with some level of EQ but just how much varies from person to person. Despite what you might think, its about more than being good with people. In fact, you might be more emotionally intelligent than you even realize.

Today, were sharing 9 signs that suggest youve got more emotional intelligence than you might think.

Lets jump straight in, shall we?

Are you one of those people whos able to put yourself in someone elses shoes?

When theyre feeling good and celebrating, you share their joy and excitement as if its your own. But on the flip side, when things are tough, you feel their pain and emotions.

The ability to feel for others like this is called empathy and its central to emotional intelligence.

Imagine this: youre having dinner with friends.

Your pal, Josh, takes a call outside. When he returns, you immediately sense a mood change. He hasnt said anything but to you, his whole demeanor is different and you want to make sure hes okay.

As you look around, you realize, that nobody else seems to have noticed. People are still laughing, joking, and taking no notice of Josh.

Sound familiar?

Being dialed into emotions like this is a classic sign youre highly emotionally intelligent. It comes so naturally to you, its hard for you to believe others dont see it too.

Being able to pick up on emotions like this is both a blessing and a curse.

You cant enjoy your evening knowing someone is upset as it upsets you too. But it makes you a great friend to someone in need.

Remember Phoebe from Friends?

Shes a perfect example of someone whos in tune with who she is. Shes different and quirky but whole-heartedly herself which makes her one of the most endearing characters on the show.

Are you like Phoebe in that way?

Youve got a strong sense of self. Youre neither cocky nor lacking in confidence. Instead, you recognize your strengths and lean into them.

Equally, youre aware of your weaknesses. Some of them youre working to improve and others you embrace as part of who you are.

If being in tune with yourself like this resonates, its a sure sign you score high in emotional intelligence as it shows youve got lots of self-awareness.

Are you the person who stays cool, calm, and collected when the pressure is on?

It seems like everyone else is letting their emotions take over, but not you.

You feel your emotions flaring up too but the difference is youre able to keep them in check and use a level head to navigate the situation.

Being able to not only recognize but also control your emotions like this, sometimes described as being level-headed or calm under pressure is known as self-regulation.

Being able to self-regulate is a tell-tale sign of emotional intelligence and something that sets you apart from most other people. If youve got this ability, harness it.

Youve probably heard of the marshmallow test, conducted in the 1970s to see if children could resist the temptation of eating one marshmallow now, to get two marshmallows in 15 minutes.

The test was about assessing their ability to delay gratification; resist temptation now, and reap the reward for it, later.

The truth is: its not just children whod struggle with this task. Lots of adults would too. However, some people can resist temptation for a greater reward later on.

Are you one of those people?

Youve got enough self-control to study for exams, train for that half-marathon, or even simply resist that extra cookie. Moments of weakness are few and far between for you because you know the reward comes later.

If this strikes a chord with you, its yet another sign youre more emotionally intelligent than you realize and youve got an inner strength that shouldnt be taken for granted.

Do you find it easy to get along with most people?

Youre able to adapt your style to fit in with the group youre with. But its not about being fake, its about being tuned into the vibe and adjusting to it.

My cousin James is great at being socially adaptable. Hes generally quite reserved and low key but when the social occasion calls for it, he can transform into the life and soul of the party, becoming energetic and outgoing.

The transformation is hard to grasp, kind of like how its hard to believe Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same guy. But it just shows how socially adaptable he is.

Being able to adapt socially like this is a lesser-known hallmark of someone whos highly emotionally intelligent.

When it comes to motivation there are two kinds; extrinsic and intrinsic.

Youre all about that intrinsic motivation. Sure, awards and accolades are nice but its not what gets you out of bed in the morning. Your drive comes from within.

And no matter what it is, if you feel strongly about it, youll have the self-motivation and discipline to make it happen.

As outlined by Caroline Castrillon, career and leadership coach Emotionally intelligent individuals understand the deeper meaning of their goals and the self-motivation skills required to achieve them.

If youre highly motivated and self-disciplined then theres a strong chance youre also more emotionally intelligent than you might think.

Weve all witnessed someone speak without thinking and insulting someone else in the process. Its painful, right?

This isnt something that happens to you though, you think first then you talk. As someone with high EQ your empathetic nature means youre considerate of others.

Youre not only aware of peoples emotions but also the power of your words on them. Its like you automatically filter your thoughts before you speak to make sure you dont hurt anyones feelings.

This high degree of empathy comes naturally to you so you might not even realize you have it but believe it or not, not everyone has this filter. Its a sure sign of emotional intelligence.

Are you on a constant journey of personal growth and self-discovery?

One of the, often overlooked, signs that someone is more emotionally intelligent than they realize is always working on personal growth.

But think about it: EQ is about self-awareness, self-motivation, and empathy. All necessary for personal growth too.

Author and motivational speaker, Jay Shetty, talks on his podcast about how levels of growth are like different seasons of the year; there are 5 seasons of personal growth.

To navigate each season you need to leverage EQ.

Youve got to have self-awareness to know where you are now and where youre headed, you need self-motivation to get you there but also patience, understanding, and empathy for yourself along the way.

Being focused on personal growth, clearly indicates youre more emotionally intelligent than you think.

How many of these signs do you recognize in yourself?

Very often, people who dont realize just how emotionally intelligent they are, take it for granted because its just who they are. They assume everyone is like them.

But make no mistake, emotional intelligence is very powerful and a great attribute to have. Embrace it.

And dont worry, if your EQ isnt where youd like it to be, its something that you can work on and develop over time. And its well worth the effort to do so.

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9 signs you're more emotionally intelligent than you realize - Hack Spirit