By Anthony Meindl | Posted Feb. 3, 2014, 10 a.m.

I didnt even know what a narrative was in my twenties, so I think this is an important reminder for all of us.

Its simply one of the predominant stories of your life you most like to tell, that threads itself into other stories that thematically become the through-line of your life. But the sad thing is most of these narratives are based in the past, our conditioning, or come from limitations that are often based in false assumptions (about everything: the world, ourselves, possibility). We make these unhappy stories the main narrative of our lives. Why? Because we constantly replay them in our left brain as they are kept alive by our egos, wanting us to remain stuck, safe, and small.

I was with a group of friends this weekend and I discovered that everyone who told their life story got really stuck on the part of their narrative that no longer fit them. And thats where their narrative seemed to end.

Where I stood, I saw these amazing, powerful, smart, dynamic, successful people who were so much bigger than the smaller stories they told themselves. Those stories that seemed to confirm their unworthiness or distrust or limitations of self.

Its not wrong to have these parts of your narrative. These parts are what ultimately make your story, your story. But thats not the only part of your lifethat which is hard, or challenging, or hasnt yet happened.

I had an experience recently in regards to a project Im working on and this woman whos involved said some things that immediately reconnected me to an old part of my narrative that I thought I had outgrown. But her words triggered me and along with it came my not good enough narrative. I had to reach deep down within myself and say, Thats her story, not mine.

When were challenged in life, when we get rejected, when we feel as if nothing is moving forward and our traditional narratives get triggered, all we can do is face the information that we are given with compassion and love and understanding. But that doesnt mean that limiting experiences that trigger our own internal stories have to define us any longer. We dont have to take that on anymore to be our narrative.

As the poet, Rainer Maria Rilke said, Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. But just keep going. No feeling is final.

Indeed as your story unfolds, dont get stuck on the chapter that youre currently reading. You always have the ability to simply turn the page. And thats a new narrative.

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Take Control of Your Own Narrative