Every time January rolls around, I brace myself for a deluge of what I like to call self-improvement culture. I prepare myself for everyone I encounter to ask what resolutions Im setting (even though Ive never been a resolutions girl). I anticipate marketing content about weight loss, or meditation, or gym goals to fill my feeds. I fully expect chatter, both online and in real life, to center around the new year, new me mindset thats been around for as long as I can remember.

Except this year feels different. It doesnt feel like everyone around me is pledging to lose 10 pounds or hit the gym every day, or take up meditation, or watch less TV. Instead, Im seeing peopleespecially womenleaning into 2024 ins and outs in place of old-school resolutions. And you know what? Im going to call that a feminist act.

When we think about what New Years resolutions have historically been about, its self-improvement rather than life-improvement. Sure, you could vow to cut out added sugar, and sure, that may make you lose weightbut would it actually make your life better? And yeah, you can pledge to wake up at 5 a.m. every day, and okay, that may make you more productive but is that actually a net positive in your life if it leaves you perpetually exhausted?

Of course, no one is immune to the message that they just need to get a better body, wake up earlier, or hustle harder if they want to improve themselves. But for women, these messages have been particularly loaded. Ideas about the importance of self-improvement for women have always felt inescapable. Theyre baked into societal conversations, in media messages, in corporate culture, and dating culture, and parenting culture and well, you get the picture. At the beginning of a new year, the pressure of self-improvement always feels heaviest. Thats why its so refreshing to see so many women, the people who have been most heavily affected by ideas on self-improvement, let go of those ideas and replace them with ins and outs.

Unlike resolutions, ins and outs dont rest on those tropes about all the things we need to change about ourselves. Instead, theyre about embracing the things we want to embrace while letting go of the things we dont. We see people pledging to say yes to things like therapy, positive self-talk, and daily mental health walks while saying no to doom scrolling, diet culture, or excessive multitasking. These are things that can actually simplify your life as opposed to giving you a goal you have to scramble to achieve or one that leaves you feeling like a failure if you dont.

At the beginning of a new year, the pressure of self-improvement always feels heaviest. Thats why its so refreshing to see so many women, the people who have been most heavily affected by ideas on self-improvement, let go of those ideas and replace them with ins and outs.

If you didnt set resolutions this year (or if youve already set aside some of the goals your highly ambitious self set on January 1), youre not alone. Based on social media and in-person conversations, I feel pretty confident in saying that many women, myself included, are putting resolutions (especially the ones that feel tangled up in toxic diet culture and hustle culture) on their out list for 2024. Women did that. And while we may be wondering what changed in our culture to allow for this new approach, the answer, in my opinion, is everywhere. Because if theres one thing 2023 taught us, its that women have all the power where shaping cultural trends is concerned.

2023 was, after all, the year women held up both the zeitgeist and the economy. The Barbie movie, for example, didnt just dominate the box officeit also brought back the lost art of movie-going and propelled the iconic doll back to the forefront of pop culture. It even forced us to reconsider all our long-held beliefs about Barbies legacy and what she represents in our world. And then theres that iconic monologue, which reflected on the impossibilities of being a woman in todays world. It made us realize that if were all feeling this way and if we all find the standards and expectations placed on women so incredibly untenable, why are we even trying to meet them? Why arent we harnessing our collective power and putting a new standard in place?

if theres one thing 2023 taught us, its that women have all the power where shaping cultural trends is concerned.

Even things like girl dinner and girl math, which became major social media trends in 2023, are signs of the full range of female impact. The former is about women simplifying their lives; its not necessarily about healthy or clean eating, its about doing what makes your life easier. If thats letting go of the societal pressure to cook a whole meal and instead assemble a plate of little things, so be it. The latter shows us taking a common stereotype of womenthe one that says we are financially illiterate and indulgentand reclaiming it. Girl math may seem like a slippery slope into deep consumerism, but it also gives us permission to just buy the coffee or make the inconsequential purchase without the guilt attached to it. Ultimately, were telling the world that it just needs to trust women to make decisions for their own lives and trust that were smart enough to know whatll ultimately serve us well.

And then theres Taylor Swift and Beyonc. They didnt just make major (like, major) money moves with their respective tours. They also brought back large-scale gatherings, drove massive commerce trends, and revived local economies. Both women resisted the many comparisons and narratives pitting them against one another and opted instead to support each other. They flipped the script just like Im doing right now as I reject old-school New Years narratives.

We can embrace new sets of ins and outs year after year because we can acknowledge that not everything has to be permanent in order for it to be good.

Swift was, quite literally, 2023s Person of the Year, at least according to TIME. Throughout her career, Swifts authenticity has been questioned at every turn. People have criticized her for her ever-changing artistic identity: Shes been a country darling, a commercial pop star, and even a folksy artist. Shes embraced publicity at certain turns, shunned it completely at others, and boomeranged back into the public sphere, leaving people questioning who she really is and what she really stands for. But last year, Swift took what is arguably her most common criticism, looked her critics dead in the eyes, and effectively said, Yeah, Ive reinvented myself many times over. And now Im going to make a celebration of that constant reinvention my biggest power move.

Under Swifts influence, were able to stop thinking about life as a constant quest for improvement. Instead, we can view it as a journey of moving in and out of various eras. We can embrace new sets of ins and outs year after year because we can acknowledge that not everything has to be permanent in order for it to be good. We can see that living our best lives isnt a linear progression but a fluid, unpredictable trying of new things. And as a result, we can allow ourselves to leave relationships or jobs or hobbies or ideas or anything that doesnt serve usand instead of thinking of it as losing or failing or giving up, we can think of it simply as stepping into a new era. In a world that constantly boxes women in, this is incredibly liberating.

Thats the value of replacing resolutions with ins and outsit gives us the power to define and continually redefine what we want. It allows us to construct the concept from scratch. Unlike New Years resolutions, which have been around for ages and have their preexisting connotations, ins and outs are ours to shape from the onset. And on the heels of a year where we showed the world the impact of our voices, opinions, tastes, and trends, that feels so fitting.

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Ins and Outs: Why I'm All for Ditching Resolutions and Embracing the Internet Trend - The Everygirl

Resolutions are kind of bullshit, but they can represent a great step forward.

New Years resolutions are a popular tradition. New year, new me is a common phrase youll hear a lot during this time. Funnily enough, no one ever finishes them. How many people do you or I know that fall off from their resolutions after the first couple weeks or days of the new year?

Ive seen many bemoan resolutions, saying how theyre useless and a way for people to feel like theyre improving while just remaining stagnant. While I see where these people are coming from, screw that. Many resolutions may fall through the cracks, but the influx of resolution-goers can help inspire a select few to forever change their lifestyles for the better.

First off, only nine percent of Americans see their resolutions fully. Thats not a great stat. So yeah, its easy to argue against the usefulness of resolutions. Why even bother with them if the follow-through rate is so minuscule? Well, its not that simple. I am always going to advocate for positive change. While the positive change here may be small, when one dives into the deeper numbers and finds out whats really going on, it makes for a much stronger case. Get your calculators out, theres going to be a lot of numbers here.

In the United States, only 38.5 percent of adults actually make resolutions. I used to think everyone, or at least most people, made them. Nowadays, thats pretty uncommon. I believe many people nowadays have a bit of a defeatist mindset when it comes to resolutions. Resolutions have a negative stigma of being very temporary. I feel like this has a lot to do with the seasonal nature of them. Resolutions come around once a year, and the truth is, many people just have trouble sticking to it. Not a ton of people are making them anyways. If it were a social media trend on the other hand, then maybe more would participate.

Perhaps, more resolutions are being substituted away for people trying to make a permanent, year-round change through other self-improvement techniques. Over 40 percent of adults in the United States make use of self-improvement materials. That isnt necessarily limited to books like how to be popular for dummies. Self-improvement content is so vast and expansive in our modern age. Its a fad in its own right. I take part in it for Petes sake. Im crazy about anything related to self-improvement. Whether its videos regarding workout techniques, tips with dieting or strategies as to how to save and invest money, self-improvement is a wide umbrella. One could argue that this way is for the better. Resolutions are quite temporary, they come and go, but committing to a positive lifestyle change THAT is what will make long-lasting change. Right?

The answer is yes, but also no. While many people let go of their resolutions as time goes on, not everyone does. A resolution can be fleeting, but a commitment to self-improvement should be a year-round thing. If you ask me, out of one thousand people, if only a handful of these people stick to their plans and continue their new, healthy lifestyle of improvement, its a win. Yes, it would be a lot better if more people stuck to their goals, but thats not necessarily realistic. In a perfect world, everyone does their best to improve as much as they can, but this is the next best, most realistic thing.

Nicolas Scagnelli is a senior majoring in English.

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Resolutions are fleeting but important - Pipe Dream - Binghamton University Pipe Dream

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Tiffani Thiessen, 50; Mariska Hargitay, 60; Gail OGrady, 61; Richard Dean Anderson, 74.

Happy Birthday: Find out all you can and proceed with confidence. Knowledge is your ticket to success. Dont hesitate to adjust your lifestyle to suit your needs. Stay focused on what matters, and eliminate what is weighing you down. Simplifying your life will allow you to use your time and energy to enjoy the journey and reach your destination. Romance and personal growth are favored. Your numbers are 8, 14, 25, 29, 32, 34, 43.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Revamp your plans to suit your needs. Listen and observe, but dont offer your thoughts. Move forward secretly until you know who you can trust. Keep your emotions out of your decisions and conversations. Bide your time. 2 stars

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Pursue knowledge and expand your social expectations. Its up to you to put your plans in motion and enlist people with something to contribute. Dont rely on someone else to do the work for you. 4 stars

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Live and learn. Dont forget your experience and knowledge when faced with a dilemma. Dont wait for someone to make the first move. Jump into action and take control of your future. Move forward on your own steam. 3 stars

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Use your energy wisely. You can move forward if you act decisively to enforce positive change. Dont sit idle when you have much to offer and more to gain. Devise a plan and proceed. Romance is in the stars. 3 stars

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Consider your situation and decide what to do next based on facts, not fiction. Once you have verified the information, you will find it easier to react appropriately. Keep your emotions to yourself, and dont let poor behavior play a role in what transpires. Simple tactics are the best route forward. 3 stars

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Call on someone you enjoy being around, and youll get the backup you require to get your plans up and running. A unique change will interest someone with the equipment or skills to help you achieve your dreams. 4 stars

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stop contemplating the changes you must address at home and put some muscle behind your effort. What you do matters, so stop talking and get the job done. Expect to face criticism if you dont deliver. 2 stars

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Keep your spending to a minimum. A change of attitude will attract helpful individuals. A unique point of view will draw attention to a cause you care about. Take an intellectual approach to change instead of letting brute force lead the way. 5 stars

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Keep an open mind, but dont believe everything you hear. Someone will go to great lengths to convince you of something false. Go directly to the source and uncover whats real before you move. Protect your money and position. 3 stars

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Follow your passion. Embrace the future and expand your interests. Take control by changing what doesnt work for you anymore. Update your goals, and make room for what matters most. Choose your fate, and take the path that allows you to be unique. 3 stars

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Moderation is in your best interest. You can take advantage of an opportunity if you are willing to do the legwork. A conversation with an expert or authority figure will point you in the right direction. Maintain a steady pace and tight budget. 3 stars

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Adjust your routine and home life to suit your needs. Personal gain, physical improvements and spending more time with someone you love will put you in the right frame of mind to go after your dreams. 5 stars

Birthday Baby: You are passionate, helpful and unique. You are productive and challenging.

1 star: Avoid conflicts; work behind the scenes. 2 stars: You can accomplish, but dont rely on others. 3 stars: Focus and youll reach your goals. 4 stars: Aim high; start new projects. 5 stars: Nothing can stop you; go for gold.

Visit Eugenialast.com, or join Eugenia on Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn.

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Horoscopes Jan. 23, 2024: Mariska Hargitay, romance and personal growth are favored - The Mercury News

Discipline is making oneself do things that should be done, even if you do not want to do them. It refers to self-control, willpower, and the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it. Discipline is essential for achieving success in any endeavor. This article will discuss why discipline matters, provide examples of how discipline drives success, and offer tips on cultivating personal discipline.

Discipline shapes virtually every aspect of our lives. From career accomplishments to relationships and personal growth, discipline enables us to realize our dreams. Disciplined individuals consciously regulate their daily habits and actions instead of acting on whims and impulses.

Consider elite athletes, scientists making groundbreaking discoveries, and business leaders building empires. They all rely on extraordinary discipline to rise above the competition. Discipline is the fundamental difference between good performers and great high achievers. It accelerates personal development and success.

Discipline molds our character and choices. Olympic champions train for years by adhering to punishing workout regimes before winning gold. Bestselling authors diligently write thousands of words daily. Self-made billionaires wake up early, fix ambitious targets, and apply relentless discipline toward their vision.

Similarly, we can inject discipline into our lives through small, consistent actions. Setting daily goals, squeezing in workouts, sticking to budgets, and focusing despite distractions these efforts compound over time into radically positive results. Conversely, a lack of discipline causes stagnation as undisciplined actions accumulate negative consequences.

The first step towards success is defining crystal clear goals. Concrete goals provide direction and incentive to apply discipline. Ambiguous goals allow wiggle room for the mind to rationalize inaction.

Once goals are fixed, a disciplined process needs to materialize them. Planning specific activities, focusing single-mindedly without deviation, and tracking metrics build goal-achieving discipline. Equally vital is the discipline to persist when enthusiasm occasionally flags. Short-term motivation provides fleeting inspiration, but discipline ensures you stick to the prescribed plan.

For example, Ronnie had a vague desire to get fitter. He then set the concrete goal of being able to run a marathon within nine months. This galvanized a training plan covering strength, stamina, and nutrition disciplines. Despite setbacks, Ronnie stayed focused on his marathon goal, eventually completing it in eight months.

Managing time effectively requires discipline. Distractions constantly beckon us: social media, random browsing, and YouTube. Giving in hurts productivity. Focusing deliberately on essential tasks without drifting demonstrates discipline.

Techniques like tracking time allocation, batching similar tasks, maintaining schedules, and minimizing interruptions help discipline time usage. The extra output compounds progress toward success. Conversely, time leaks from lack of discipline enable procrastination, which causes delays. Establishing discipline in how we spend time is essential for maximizing output.

Mark demonstrated the impact of time discipline. Despite being busy, Mark scheduled blocks for focused project work. Batching similar tasks improved efficiency, too. Though tempted by distractions, Mark disciplined himself to remain attentive to critical tasks. Completing projects faster earned Mark recognition at work.

Success requires continuously upgrading skills. Whether professional qualifications, technical expertise, or communication chops, lifelong learning is imperative. Self-improvement needs discipline, as learning itself isnt always fun or easy.

Postponing development activities for arbitrary reasons signals a lack of discipline. Consistently carving out time for upskilling despite deterrents demands discipline. Leveraging commutes for listening to podcasts or reading demonstrates discipline, too. Such small efforts accumulate into giant advantages over time.

For example, Warren was stuck in a career rut as his skills had plateaued. By disciplining himself to learn digital marketing skills daily over two years, Warren gained expertise that won him a promotion. He continues to devote time to sharpening his skills and discipline, making him an asset to his organization.

The real test of discipline isnt how we behave during easy times but while facing difficulties. Challenges shake up our discipline by generating frustration, fear, or disappointment. Lower discipline makes us quick to abandon plans when the going gets tough.

However, adversities are inevitable. Setbacks, failures, or sudden misfortunes cant be dodged. Combating challenges needs persistent discipline where we regulate negative emotions and continually renew our focus.

James demonstrates such resilience. James continued his side consulting business despite losing his job by rigorously engaging multiple clients. He fought feelings of despair through mental discipline. Over two years, his perseverance powered a tenfold business growth that enabled James to become a full-time entrepreneur.

Healthy living requires lifelong discipline, both physically and mentally. Staying active, eating nutritious meals, prioritizing recovery, and managing stress depend more on discipline than motivation. Diets started enthusiastically but were abandoned after a few months, indicating poor discipline.

In contrast, committing to lifestyle changes like strict exercise regimens or abstaining from unhealthy food has become second nature over the years for disciplined people. Think about the metabolic benefits earned by athletes who fuel their bodies precisely to maintain peak fitness for decades. Discipline works wonders.

For example, despite being overweight and having low energy, Ken committed to triathlons to improve their health. With rock-solid diet planning discipline and training dedication, Ken woke up early for 15 years straight to practice swimming, cycling, and running most days. Now a super fit grandfather, Kens discipline gives him an inspirational second youth.

Relationships, both personal and professional, significantly influence our well-being and success. Discipline strengthens relationships by promoting clear communication, empathy, and positivity. It enables overriding short-term frustration to collaborate toward mutual growth.

Indiscipline breeds miscommunication and bitterness. Undisciplined outbursts erode relationships, causing irreversible damage. Staying disciplined is akin to making continuous deposits into an emotional bank account where occasional disputes can be addressed from foundations of trust and honesty built over time.

Mark and Susan once struggled to make their marriage work. Frequent loss of discipline caused arguments until they sought counseling to improve their relationship. They learned to discipline their speech and emotions even while upset. Three years later, their newfound discipline replaced bitterness with understanding the bedrock for long-term marital discipline.

Success seekers are often told motivation catalyzes achievement. Motivation does provide initial momentum. However, it fades rather quickly when goals require years of sustained effort. Discipline, when cultivated through habits, persists as daily motivation is fickle.

Instilling discipline involves focusing on daily incremental improvements without worrying about the destination. Having the discipline to, say, write 500 words daily eventually produces a finished book, even on days lacking motivation. Letting writing slide for motivational reasons will probably keep the book unwritten.

Meet Jane, a 32-year-old IT project manager struggling with work-life balance. Her work days were overwhelming while her health and relationships flailed.

Embracing the articles disciplines changed Janes trajectory. She carved out daily downtime for her family despite her workload through time management discipline. She was fixing fitness as a lifestyle priority despite fatigue powered better energy levels. Communicating feelings regularly to her spouse built their bond.

Practicing financial, technical, and communication disciplines enhanced Janes leadership capabilities. Two years hence, Jane is crowned the firms youngest Vice President, leading strategic digital transformation with several employees reporting to her directly.

At home, Janes family bonds deeper than before through dedicated family nights involving board games. Beyond professional success, Jane glows ever brighter with health, relational, and spiritual fullness the fruits of purposeful and consistent discipline across lifes essential facets.

This demonstrates how embracing slight, positive, consistent discipline in multiple areas yields all-round prosperity and life fulfillment over time.

Across endeavors, the fires of initial motivation often fade while discipline drives long-term achievement. Though cultivating discipline demands effort, the phenomenal compound gains over time justify the struggle.

Staying disciplined spans simple habits like regular exercise to loftier actions like focusing relentlessly on significant projects. Progress compounds faster when multiple facets of life leverage discipline. People who instill discipline across health, relationships, self-improvement, and work often enjoy success in those areas simultaneously.

The key is realizing discipline aids us even when we arent motivated. Emotions waver, but discipline provides the backbone. As the Japanese say, Fall seven times, stand up eight. Developing such mental resilience pays rich dividends over time to turn successes into higher heights. Start small, stay consistent, and let the unstoppable power of discipline carry you toward your vision of accomplishment and fulfillment.

Originally posted here:
Discipline is the Key to Success - New Trader U

Healing is a deeply personal and often arduous journey, requiring individuals to confront and overcome past wounds, whether inflicted by relationships, family dynamics, or their actions. As I have often stated in this journey, forgiveness is a superpower. Forgiveness emerges as a potent tool that can lead to emotional liberation, personal growth, and the ability to move forward.

Healing is often discussed, but its intricate process is only sometimes fully grasped. This article delves into the transformative journey of healing, focusing on the four key people we must forgive. We will explore the profound importance of forgiveness, address why forgiving our parents is crucial, come to terms with our past relationships and marriages, and extend forgiveness to ourselves. These acts of forgiveness are instrumental in the path to emotional liberation, personal growth, and the empowerment to shape our futures.

Forgiving Parents When Healing

Our relationship with our parents is one of our most significant and formative connections. However, sometimes it is the source of deep-seated pain and unresolved issues. Forgiving ones parents is a complex and transformative process. Here are compelling reasons why it is essential to consider forgiveness when healing:

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, the connection with our parents is one of the most profound and influential. Yet, it is not uncommon for this very connection to be the source of deep-seated pain and unresolved issues. Forgiving ones parents is a complex and transformative process that can lead to profound emotional well-being and healing. The pursuit of emotional liberation and inner peace lies at the core of forgiveness, offering individuals a path to release the burden of anger, resentment, or bitterness that may have accumulated over the years.

Furthermore, forgiveness provides the much-needed closure to lingering unresolved conflicts and emotional wounds inflicted by parents, allowing individuals to find a profound sense of resolution and embark on a journey of self-healing. This process is instrumental in personal growth and fostering improved relationships with parents, breaking generational cycles of trauma, and empowering individuals to take control of their lives.

.Forgiving Past Relationships and Marriages When Healing

Failed relationships and marriages can leave profound emotional scars that linger long after the connections have ended. Forgiving past partners and spouses is instrumental in the healing process. Heres why it is crucial:

Forgiveness, particularly in the context of past relationships and marriages, emerges as a powerful force for emotional liberation and personal growth. By embracing forgiveness, individuals liberate themselves from the emotional burden of harboring resentment and anger, offering them a profound sense of relief and newfound freedom. This process also entails releasing negative emotions that might otherwise hinder personal development, as holding onto anger and resentment can prove emotionally draining and detrimental to ones growth. Furthermore, forgiveness brings closure to past relationships and marriages, enabling individuals to move forward without being weighed down by unresolved issues or past pain. It catalyzes personal growth, encouraging self-reflection and the opportunity to glean wisdom from past mistakes and experiences.

Additionally, the positive effects of forgiveness extend to mental health, with the reduction of stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms often associated with letting go of grudges. Embracing forgiveness paves the way for improved relationships, fostering empathy, understanding, and enhanced communication skills. By reducing resentment and its potential corrosive effects on emotional and physical health, forgiveness becomes a path to long-term well-being.

Moreover, it opens up new opportunities in various aspects of life, including love, by enabling individuals to be more receptive to novel experiences and relationships. Furthermore, forgiveness nurtures compassion and empathy, enhancing personal relationships and interactions by fostering a deeper understanding of others perspectives and experiences. Ultimately, forgiveness brings inner peace and harmony, liberating individuals from the constant rumination over past hurts and guiding them toward tranquility in the present.

Forgiving Others Who Have Hurt You

Beyond familial and romantic relationships, forgiveness extends to those who have caused us pain and suffering in various aspects of life. Forgiving others who have hurt us is essential in the healing process. Heres why:

Forgiving others who have inflicted pain and hurt upon us proves to be an essential catalyst for emotional healing. It provides an avenue to release the emotional burden of grudges and resentment that can otherwise cripple individuals emotionally. By enabling the release of negative emotions such as anger, hatred, and bitterness, forgiveness lightens the emotional load and paves the way for a healthier emotional state. Moreover, forgiveness offers much-needed closure to past wounds and conflicts, allowing individuals to break free from the shackles of their history and focus on the present and future. Embracing forgiveness is a powerful catalyst for personal growth and self-improvement, fostering self-reflection, empathy, and valuable lessons gleaned from past experiences.

Through forgiveness, individuals can attain reduced self-criticism and negative self-talk, shifting their focus from self-condemnation to self-acceptance and a more positive self-image. Additionally, the positive impact of forgiveness extends to mental health, as it can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, contributing to overall well-being. In the realm of relationships, forgiveness extends to improving connections with others, fostering empathy, understanding, and enhanced communication skills that ultimately enhance personal and interpersonal bonds. Furthermore, forgiveness yields tangible physical health benefits by reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, and decreasing the risk of heart problems, thus contributing to overall well-being.

Through forgiveness, individuals develop a heightened sense of compassion and empathy, improving personal relationships and interactions by understanding others perspectives and experiences. Most importantly, forgiveness provides:

Forgiving Oneself When Healing

Self-forgiveness, often considered the most challenging form of forgiveness, emerges as a profound act of self-compassion that can lead to emotional healing and personal development. It entails treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding that one would extend to others who have made mistakes.

By embracing self-forgiveness, individuals can embark on a journey of emotional healing, liberating themselves from the shackles of guilt, shame, and self-blame that can prove emotionally distressing and hinder personal growth. Furthermore, self-forgiveness is a powerful catalyst for moving forward, preventing individuals from becoming trapped in the past and dwelling on their past mistakes. It fosters a sense of progress and personal development, encouraging self-reflection, self-awareness, and the opportunity to learn from past mistakes and experiences.

Through self-forgiveness, individuals attain reduced self-criticism and negative self-talk, replacing self-condemnation with self-acceptance and a more positive self-image. Additionally, this act of self-forgiveness yields significant benefits for mental health, as it reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression while promoting overall well-being. It also extends its positive influence to personal relationships, as individuals who are more accepting and forgiving of themselves often become more understanding and compassionate in their interactions.

Furthermore, self-forgiveness empowers individuals to take control of their lives, make choices aligned with their values and goals, and shift their focus from dwelling on past mistakes to creating a brighter future. This expression of self-forgiveness is rooted in self-respect, acknowledging ones humanity and the imperfections that make everyone capable of making errors. Ultimately, self-forgiveness serves as a pathway to freedom from the past, preventing past mistakes from defining ones self-worth and potential and enabling individuals to embrace life with greater optimism and fulfillment.

Forgiveness is a profound and indispensable thread in the intricate tapestry of healing. Whether forgiving parents, past relationships, others, or oneself, forgiveness is a transformative journey towards emotional liberation, personal growth, and the empowerment to shape ones future. Forgiveness is powerful, allowing individuals to break free from the shackles of the past and embark on a path of healing, self-discovery, and emotional well-being. As we navigate our journeys toward healing, let us remember that forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength of the human spirit to transcend pain and find solace in embracing self-compassion and understanding.

Continued here:
The Transformative Power: Four People You Must Forgive in Your Healing Process - Black Westchester

As January 2024 unfolds, the crisp cold air often gives people a sense of renewal and the promise of a fresh new start. The tradition of setting New Year's resolutions is a familiar one, and it is often centered around health, fitness or even personal development.

Common resolutions often include losing weight, exercising more or learning a new skill. I think that we can all take the opportunity to redefine success on a more personal level. Beyond measurable achievements, resolutions can focus on cultivating kindness and compassion, both towards ourselves and others. While all goals are undoubtedly valuable, I would like to concentrate on some commonly overlooked New Year resolutions.

Beyond the typical resolutions lies a realm of mindful practices that can significantly impact our well-being. Incorporating mindfulness and meditation into daily routines can really enhance mental clarity, reduce stress and promote overall emotional balance. The overlooked resolution of cultivating mindfulness not only contributes to personal growth but also fosters a deeper connection with oneself and the surrounding world.

Expressing gratitude is another powerful, yet often underestimated resolution. In creating future goals for yourself, it is essential to acknowledge and appreciate the present. Creating a habit of gratitude can lead to increased happiness, improved relationships and a positive mindset. This overlooked resolution encourages people to find joy in the small moments, fostering a sense of contentment amidst life's challenges.

Another overlooked resolution with a far-reaching impact that I will share is embracing environmental consciousness. Reducing your carbon footprint, practicing sustainable living and supporting eco-friendly initiatives contribute to a healthier planet in which we live. By adopting environmentally conscious habits, people can make a meaningful contribution to the well-being of the Earth.

Lastly, a resolution often disregarded is the need for a digital detox. Committing to designated periods of time without screens can enhance mental clarity, reduce stress and improve your sleep quality. Disconnecting from the digital realm allows us to reconnect with our surroundings and foster more meaningful in-person connections.

As January allows for us to reflect on the possibilities of the year ahead, let us broaden our perspective on resolutions. While traditional goals have their place, exploring overlooked aspirations can lead to a more holistic and fulfilling life. Embracing mindfulness, expressing gratitude, adopting environmental consciousness and practicing a digital detox are just some of the many resolutions that I feel can really offer you a path to personal growth and societal contribution.

By embracing these often overlooked goals, January has the potential to be a canvas for personal evolution and societal betterment. As we navigate the unknown of the new year, let us not only set resolutions but craft a narrative of growth, kindness and purpose that extends beyond the confines of tradition. This year, let us reimagine resolutions and take on a journey of self-discovery and positive change.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of The Torch.

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January 2024: time for reimagining resolutions, cultivating relationships | Opinion | valpotorch.com - The Torch

Classy and sophisticated people generally carry themselves with grace, right? Theyre also polite and considerate of others.

Being classy is more about behavior and attitude than material possessions. You can be classy and poor, the same as you can be rich and trashy.

If you have a hunch youre classy and sophisticated, lets get to the bottom of it once and for all.

Here are the personality signs and behaviors that show youre a classy and sophisticated person, even if you dont realize it.

Youre the person who says please and thank you genuinely. Holding doors open, giving up your seat for someone in need, and being aware of others personal space are part of your daily interactions.

And when we imagine a sophisticated person in our minds, we do imagine them like that, dont we?

Its basically class 101.

If you fail to do this, youre far from refinement. You can have all the money in the world, but if youre disrespectful to others and treat them as doormats, to me, youre sub-human.

But what else do we imagine when we picture a classy person?

Although the suit doesnt make a man, clothing choices are important in many situations.

If you wear classic pieces more than brief trends, youre also classy. For example, a well-fitted white shirt, a tailored blazer, or a little black dress are staples and give off an effortlessly chic and timeless vibe.

Trends come and go, but sophisticated people dont worry about them. They have a closet full of items that never go out of fashion.

And even this very mindset puts them in this desired category of people.

You know, wealthy people dont buy expensive art just to launder money. They also do it when they want to be seen as classy.

Its simply because we associate appreciation for fine art and class. But also because most regular people dont care for things like that at all.

So, whether its enjoying a well-written book, attending live performances, or spending an afternoon at an art gallery, you find joy in the arts.

You appreciate the emotions and stories behind each piece, right? And if you could stare at art or listen to classical music for hours, youre sophisticated, even if you dont realize it.

Exploring different cuisines is about trying something new. But its also about savoring the flavors and appreciating the craftsmanship behind a well-prepared dish.

Fine cuisine is typically very expensive, but you enjoy a balance of flavors and appreciate the artistry of a beautifully plated meal.

Now, I do appreciate a nice meal, but I dont live to eat. I eat to live.

Still, even I can appreciate the amount of love and finesse that goes into preparing such meals, even when you get a small piece of something on your plate.

Okay, all joking aside, heres something that I find more important than most other people.

I simply hate it when people are late. If I can be there 10 minutes before a date, appointment, or meeting, so can everyone else.

Being on time shows respect for others schedules. When you value your time and acknowledge that others do, too, being punctual is a way of honoring that mutual commitment.

Its also a sign of sophistication.

And still, Im constantly waiting for others wherever I go.

Now, if I learned one thing in these 40 years on Earth, its that people dont change. Thats why I dont hold my breath waiting for others to show up anymore.

I now use the time when Im waiting for others to show up to read passages from a book.

And dont tell anyone, but most of the time, I pray for them not to show up so I can continue reading the book.

Being generous and considerate, always thinking of others, adds a beautiful touch to your interactions and relationships.

Whether its a small gesture or a thoughtful gift, you believe in the joy of giving without expecting anything in return.

Thats because you can put yourself in others shoes, understanding their emotions and experiences.

And that also helps you with the following:

Youre not just a small talk person. You dive deep into topics that matter to you by sharing thoughts and listening actively.

That also means that meaningful connections are more important to you than surface-level chit-chat.

And thats how it should be for most people, right?

Dont you just hate it when someone mentions the weather or last nights game or something like that?

I much prefer to ask one of the questions from my arsenal that helps others open up and lets us connect more deeply.

If youre a classy and sophisticated person, your living space reflects your personality. Its tidy, with a touch of sophistication.

Each item has its place, and your decor choices are intentional, creating an inviting and comfortable atmosphere.

Now again, this doesnt mean the furniture or the artwork has to be expensive, it just means you arranged your home in a way that makes sense and looks timeless.

Okay, having a nice home is great and all, but this next thing really sets you apart.

Sadly, most people stop learning new things as soon as they step outside of high school or college.

But not you. Whether its learning a new skill or attaining knowledge in a specific area, youre always seeking self-improvement.

Personal growth is an endless journey for you.

And that, in my opinion, is another sign of class. When youre hungry for knowledge and not for material things, youll live an interesting and well-thought-out life.

Life is often very unfair and leaves us asking, Why me? right? But lately, I started flipping the script and started asking the same question when something nice and beautiful happened to me.

I then realize that Im simply the sum of my lifelong behavior, actions, and choices, coupled with a random thing happening here and there.

9 times out of 10, I know things will work out. And thats why I almost never lose my cool.

The other 10% of the time, I dont have control over the situation anyway, so theres also no need for me to worry about it.

So, if youre like me and, when faced with adversity, you maintain your cool, youre, in fact, classy.

You can stay calm under pressure, which allows you to think rationally and find solutions instead of getting overwhelmed.

You know, theres a sofa I always wanted to have in my apartment. However, its super expensive, and Ive never had a lot of money.

Still, I knew I needed to have it eventually. In the meantime, I insisted on not getting rid of my barely-held-together old couch I had forever as a reminder and an incentive to work harder and earn more.

As a minimalist, this piece of furniture was supposed to be one of the last big things I ever buy.

And now that I have it, I think of all the hard work and successful things Ive done almost every time I sit on it.

Most classy people would rather own a few high-quality items than a multitude of cheaper alternatives.

Its not about having more; its about having the best that suits your needs.

So, in the end, we can conclude that being classy and sophisticated is all in your mind. If you have the mental capacity and upbringing to treat others with respect, have good manners, dress well, keep your cool, and express yourself clearly and thoughtfully, you are classy.

Even if you havent realized it yet.

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11 personality signs that show you're a classy and sophisticated person (even if you don't realize it) - Hack Spirit

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Everyone has a unique way of expressing themselves, but sometimes how we communicate can reveal more than just our thoughts and ideas.

You might consider your daily conversations and wonder if your choice of words mirrors self-assuredness or if its simply a reflection of your current mood.

How can you tell if your everyday dialogues are indicative of high self-esteem, or just a fluctuation of confidence that everyone experiences?

After delving into the intricacies of language and self-perception, along with observing the communication patterns of my friends, Ive compiled a list of 8 phrases you may use every day.

If these sound familiar, you might be exuding far more self-confidence than you realize.

Theres a lot to be said about the power of affirmative self-talk in boosting our self-esteem.

One of the key phrases often used by those with high self-esteem is I am. Not in the sense of merely identifying oneself, but in affirming their qualities, strengths, and values.

For example, instead of saying Im trying to be more confident, someone with high self-esteem might say, I am confident. This simple shift in language reflects a certainty in oneself and ones capabilities.

I am statements are more than just a verbal affirmation; they are a personal declaration. By using them regularly, we reinforce our self-belief and gradually build up our self-esteem.

The power of I am lies in its ability to create a positive loop. The more we affirm our positive attributes, the more we believe in them, which further boosts our self-esteem.

I can is another powerful phrase that individuals with high self-esteem often use. Its a phrase that embodies a sense of self-efficacy and belief in ones abilities.

Let me share a personal example. I used to struggle with public speaking, it made me anxious and nervous. But instead of saying I cant do it, I started telling myself, I can do this. I can speak confidently in public.

Over time, this phrase helped me overcome my fear and boosted my self-esteem considerably. The more I told myself I can, the more I believed it, and the better I performed.

The beauty of I can is that its versatile and can be applied to any aspect of life work, relationships, personal goals. Its a declaration of your capability and your willingness to take on challenges.

I choose is a phrase that reflects autonomy and decision-making power, both vital components of high self-esteem.

When you say I choose, youre asserting control over your actions and choices, rather than letting circumstances or other people dictate your decisions.

People who believe they are in control of their lives, rather than being victims of circumstance, tend to have higher self-esteem. Using I choose is a verbal reflection of this mindset.

So, if you find yourself frequently saying I choose when making decisions, big or small, its likely a sign of your high self-esteem. By consciously using this phrase more often, you can reinforce your sense of autonomy and further boost your self-confidence.

The phrase Im proud of is a self-affirming statement that people with high self-esteem use regularly. Its a way of acknowledging your accomplishments, big or small and giving yourself the credit you deserve.

When you say Im proud of, youre not just patting yourself on the back.

Youre reinforcing your sense of self-worth and validating your efforts. This can be a powerful boost to your self-esteem.

Its a simple but effective way to enhance your self-confidence and reinforce your sense of worth.

One of the phrases that people with high self-esteem often use is I forgive. This phrase is less about others and more about self-love and self-care.

When you say I forgive, youre choosing to let go of grudges and resentment, both of which can weigh heavily on your heart and mind. Youre choosing to free yourself from negative emotions that can hamper your personal growth and well-being.

Forgiveness doesnt mean forgetting or condoning wrongdoings. Its about making peace with the past so that it doesnt affect your present or future.

Personally, learning to say I forgive was a transformative experience for me. It helped me let go of past hurts and focus more on self-improvement and growth.

Im grateful for is a phrase that exudes positivity, and its commonly used by individuals with high self-esteem. This phrase is all about acknowledging the good in life and expressing appreciation for it.

There was a time in my life when I struggled with negativity. I often found myself focusing on what was going wrong, rather than what was going right.

Then, I started practicing gratitude by using the phrase Im grateful for daily, and it changed my perspective significantly.

Now, whether its appreciating a beautiful sunrise or expressing thanks for a kind gesture from a friend, I make it a point to recognize and vocalize my gratitude.

This habit has not only made me more positive but also boosted my self-esteem.

I trust is a phrase that signifies faith and belief, both in oneself and in others. People with high self-esteem often have a strong sense of trust.

When you say I trust, whether its trusting yourself to make a decision, or trusting in the process of life, youre expressing confidence in your abilities and the universe.

Trust is like a foundation for high self-esteem. The more you trust yourself, the more confident and secure you feel about your abilities and judgments.

I love is perhaps the most powerful phrase used by people with high self-esteem, especially when directed towards themselves.

When you say I love, youre expressing acceptance and appreciation for who you are, warts and all.

Self-love is the cornerstone of high self-esteem. When you love yourself, you affirm your worth and value. You acknowledge that you are deserving of love and respect, just as you are.

Love yourself, embrace your uniqueness, and watch your self-esteem soar.

The connection between our language and our self-esteem is profound. The phrases we use daily dont just reflect our self-esteem, they help shape it.

Studies in the realm of cognitive psychology have shown that our internal dialogue plays a crucial role in how we perceive ourselves. Positive affirmations and self-talk can significantly influence our self-esteem and overall sense of well-being.

Using phrases like I am, I can, I choose, Im proud of, I forgive, Im grateful for, I trust, and I love are more than just words. They are powerful tools of affirmation that can help cultivate a sense of self-worth, confidence, and high self-esteem.

As you go about your day, pay attention to your language. Are these phrases part of your vocabulary? If not, consider incorporating them into your daily language.

Remember, the words you choose to use every day can be a reflection of your self-esteem. But more importantly, they can be a powerful tool to enhance it.

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If you use these 8 phrases every day, you probably have high self-esteem - Hack Spirit

Do you consider yourself to be emotionally intelligent?

Its hard to believe emotional intelligence didnt hit the mainstream until the release of Daniel Golemans book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ in 1995.

Its front and center now and more important than ever. It boils down to two things at its core

Were all naturally born with some level of EQ but just how much varies from person to person. Despite what you might think, its about more than being good with people. In fact, you might be more emotionally intelligent than you even realize.

Today, were sharing 9 signs that suggest youve got more emotional intelligence than you might think.

Lets jump straight in, shall we?

Are you one of those people whos able to put yourself in someone elses shoes?

When theyre feeling good and celebrating, you share their joy and excitement as if its your own. But on the flip side, when things are tough, you feel their pain and emotions.

The ability to feel for others like this is called empathy and its central to emotional intelligence.

Imagine this: youre having dinner with friends.

Your pal, Josh, takes a call outside. When he returns, you immediately sense a mood change. He hasnt said anything but to you, his whole demeanor is different and you want to make sure hes okay.

As you look around, you realize, that nobody else seems to have noticed. People are still laughing, joking, and taking no notice of Josh.

Sound familiar?

Being dialed into emotions like this is a classic sign youre highly emotionally intelligent. It comes so naturally to you, its hard for you to believe others dont see it too.

Being able to pick up on emotions like this is both a blessing and a curse.

You cant enjoy your evening knowing someone is upset as it upsets you too. But it makes you a great friend to someone in need.

Remember Phoebe from Friends?

Shes a perfect example of someone whos in tune with who she is. Shes different and quirky but whole-heartedly herself which makes her one of the most endearing characters on the show.

Are you like Phoebe in that way?

Youve got a strong sense of self. Youre neither cocky nor lacking in confidence. Instead, you recognize your strengths and lean into them.

Equally, youre aware of your weaknesses. Some of them youre working to improve and others you embrace as part of who you are.

If being in tune with yourself like this resonates, its a sure sign you score high in emotional intelligence as it shows youve got lots of self-awareness.

Are you the person who stays cool, calm, and collected when the pressure is on?

It seems like everyone else is letting their emotions take over, but not you.

You feel your emotions flaring up too but the difference is youre able to keep them in check and use a level head to navigate the situation.

Being able to not only recognize but also control your emotions like this, sometimes described as being level-headed or calm under pressure is known as self-regulation.

Being able to self-regulate is a tell-tale sign of emotional intelligence and something that sets you apart from most other people. If youve got this ability, harness it.

Youve probably heard of the marshmallow test, conducted in the 1970s to see if children could resist the temptation of eating one marshmallow now, to get two marshmallows in 15 minutes.

The test was about assessing their ability to delay gratification; resist temptation now, and reap the reward for it, later.

The truth is: its not just children whod struggle with this task. Lots of adults would too. However, some people can resist temptation for a greater reward later on.

Are you one of those people?

Youve got enough self-control to study for exams, train for that half-marathon, or even simply resist that extra cookie. Moments of weakness are few and far between for you because you know the reward comes later.

If this strikes a chord with you, its yet another sign youre more emotionally intelligent than you realize and youve got an inner strength that shouldnt be taken for granted.

Do you find it easy to get along with most people?

Youre able to adapt your style to fit in with the group youre with. But its not about being fake, its about being tuned into the vibe and adjusting to it.

My cousin James is great at being socially adaptable. Hes generally quite reserved and low key but when the social occasion calls for it, he can transform into the life and soul of the party, becoming energetic and outgoing.

The transformation is hard to grasp, kind of like how its hard to believe Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same guy. But it just shows how socially adaptable he is.

Being able to adapt socially like this is a lesser-known hallmark of someone whos highly emotionally intelligent.

When it comes to motivation there are two kinds; extrinsic and intrinsic.

Youre all about that intrinsic motivation. Sure, awards and accolades are nice but its not what gets you out of bed in the morning. Your drive comes from within.

And no matter what it is, if you feel strongly about it, youll have the self-motivation and discipline to make it happen.

As outlined by Caroline Castrillon, career and leadership coach Emotionally intelligent individuals understand the deeper meaning of their goals and the self-motivation skills required to achieve them.

If youre highly motivated and self-disciplined then theres a strong chance youre also more emotionally intelligent than you might think.

Weve all witnessed someone speak without thinking and insulting someone else in the process. Its painful, right?

This isnt something that happens to you though, you think first then you talk. As someone with high EQ your empathetic nature means youre considerate of others.

Youre not only aware of peoples emotions but also the power of your words on them. Its like you automatically filter your thoughts before you speak to make sure you dont hurt anyones feelings.

This high degree of empathy comes naturally to you so you might not even realize you have it but believe it or not, not everyone has this filter. Its a sure sign of emotional intelligence.

Are you on a constant journey of personal growth and self-discovery?

One of the, often overlooked, signs that someone is more emotionally intelligent than they realize is always working on personal growth.

But think about it: EQ is about self-awareness, self-motivation, and empathy. All necessary for personal growth too.

Author and motivational speaker, Jay Shetty, talks on his podcast about how levels of growth are like different seasons of the year; there are 5 seasons of personal growth.

To navigate each season you need to leverage EQ.

Youve got to have self-awareness to know where you are now and where youre headed, you need self-motivation to get you there but also patience, understanding, and empathy for yourself along the way.

Being focused on personal growth, clearly indicates youre more emotionally intelligent than you think.

How many of these signs do you recognize in yourself?

Very often, people who dont realize just how emotionally intelligent they are, take it for granted because its just who they are. They assume everyone is like them.

But make no mistake, emotional intelligence is very powerful and a great attribute to have. Embrace it.

And dont worry, if your EQ isnt where youd like it to be, its something that you can work on and develop over time. And its well worth the effort to do so.

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9 signs you're more emotionally intelligent than you realize - Hack Spirit