I am trained and licensed as a Marriage and Family therapist. I love serving people and supporting them with suffering less and loving more. I entered the field of psychology because it looked like the best way to go about helping people. You can understand then why it would be disconcerting when I came across an understanding that revealed to me that the solution to suffering is not actually found within the scope of the discipline of psychology that studies thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

The very thing I learned about to help people actually does not have the answers in it.

After coming across the teachings of Sydney Banks, it was a gradual process of unlearning my training and waking up to what is truly helpful and liberating for myself and others.

Prior to this understanding, I thought improving ones psychology was the path to peace and freedom. I bought into the idea that there were issues to be healed and thoughts needed to be managed and changed for happiness to be experienced. Difficult emotions needed to be delved into and explored and expressed. I did all of this with good intentions. I went into the details of peoples lives and internal worlds thinking it would help them find more peace of mind.

The challenge with this is that there is an infinite amount of content to explore and emotions to be released. As soon as one issue looked contained or resolved a new one would arise. No wonder analysts work with clients for years. This does not mean insights and realizations cant be had by looking in that direction. They do happen because that is the innate design of human beings. We naturally have insights not because techniques are needed to find the answers.

It took my willingness to look in a completely different direction for me to understand that my attempts to help were misguided. On a personal level, I was looking at my human experience and trying to fix the content of my thinking to make my human experience more to my liking. What shifted for me is when I took a step back and stopped examining and judging my experience and instead looked to where experience comes from. From that vantage point, I started to see more clearly the simplicity of it all.

The experience of life is created through us, and when we react to the experience we create, we suffer. There is nothing wrong with this. No fixing is required. It is just what happens. And the more we see what is happening the less likely we are to react to our temporary experience and the more likely we are to look toward what is behind it and unchanging.

Experience is temporary. What creates our experience is not.

I previously had no appreciation for the innate wisdom in the human design on the emotional and mental level. I knew there was an innate intelligence at play within the physical body that I did not have to be consciously aware of and monitoring, but that is not how I felt about my emotions and thoughts. I thought I needed to improve them and my work then became about helping others improve theirs.

The downside, however, was that it didnt work. I was never good enough. The self-improvement never resulted in an experience of deep peace and acceptance of what is. It required work and maintenance. There was always more to do and further to go. The more I did, the more I saw there was more to do. It was exhausting.

What is the alternative?

The alternative is to understand that the experience of inner peace and freedom comes from a deeper place within than the constantly changing experience of our psychology. There is our human experience of emotions and thoughts that comes and goes, and then there is a deeper place within that is unchanging even though we dont experience it all the time. It is the formless essence of who we are.It is beyond our beliefs and concepts. It is the space of potential and possibility.

For me, has a felt experience of expansiveness and love. You know what that space is inside of you. You might label it differently, but feel into who you are beyond your thoughts and feelings. Feel into this deeper dimension of who you are and see what reveals itself to you.

Recognizing that this deeper dimension exists is what helped me to experience more freedom and peace of mind. I no longer needed to change my thoughts and feelings. I simply got more perspective on them. I could see that they didnt need to be fixed even if I didnt like my experience in the moment. I saw that trying to manage my experience and control it was completely unnecessary because it would naturally change, and me trying to manage what I was feeling was what was actually creating my suffering, not the actual experience itself.

Resistance to what is = suffering.

On a professional level, my new understanding required working with people in a completely different way. I was no longer delving in and asking my clients to face and express the content of their experience. I instead, asked them to step back and understand where their experience comes from and how it is created. My job became about helping people see the illusory nature of their psychology so the could experience more of who they are beyond that. I looked to help them recognize that their suffering is the result of focusing on their misunderstandings and misidentification with who they are. The true unchanging part of who they are is not their thoughts and feelings, it is the impersonal space of innate wellbeing that is peace, love, wisdom, hope, compassion etc

Our behaviors always reflect our level of understanding of this. The more we know who we are the more our behaviors reflect the qualities of love, compassion, wisdom, and understanding of our true nature. Trying to change our experience because we dont like it just creates more suffering. And trying to change our behavior without a shift in understanding is also often painful and definitely not sustainable.

You do not need to be enlightened to feel the benefits of what Sydney Banks shared. As regular human beings who still at times identify with our individual identity, there is still great benefit and reduction in suffering available just by looking in the direction of truth. Instead of managing and controlling yourself, try letting go and simply being with what is and see what reveals itself from there. Your direct experience is your teacher.

As George Pransky said at a recent professional training, You are either uncovering the known or conceptualizing the unknown. What is transformative is looking to what you experientially know beyond your intellectual concepts.

Rohini Rossis passionate about helping people wake up to their full potential. She is a transformative coach, leadership consultant, a regular blogger for Thrive Global, and author of the short-readMarriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1)available on Amazon. You can get her free eBookRelationshipshere.Rohini has an international coaching and consulting practice based in Los Angeles helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of well-being, resiliency, and success. She is also the founder ofThe Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality, and the Teachings of Sydney Banks.You can follow Rohini onFacebook,Twitter, andInstagram, and watch herVlogswith her husband. To learn more about her work go to her website,rohiniross.com.

Excerpt from:
Inner Peace and Psychology Don't Mix - Thrive Global

Happy birthday for Feb. 18: Stabilizing your life and positioning yourself for success should be your priorities. Your numbers are 7, 12, 22, 27, 33, 39, 48.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Share less in order to minimalize opposition. Youll accomplish the most if you work alone. HH

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Share information, assess situations and explore possibilities. Your dedication to pursue something you feel passionate about will bring satisfying results that promote positive change. HHHHH

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Dont waste time on trivial matters or people who are misleading or playing games with you. Dont fold under pressure. HHH

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A change will enhance your personal life. Conversations will lead to decisions that will change your life. A partnership will complement what you are trying to achieve. HHH

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Consider what you want. A personal change should be your priority. Let go of anything or anyone holding you back. Its time to venture down a path that leads to something you want. HHH

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Enjoy what life has to offer, and be willing to embrace the changes that come your way. Its time to start something new, but first, complete anything youve left undone. The result of purging and forging ahead will be gratifying. HHHHH

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stay out of the line of fire. Someone will try to disrupt your life if you are too accommodating or willing to put up with unreasonable demands. Look inward, and make personal growth your priority. HH

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mingle with people who have a sharp, imaginative mind; good ideas will push you in a new direction. Mix creativity with ambition and drive, and you will find a way to up your game and use your skills to prosper. HHHH

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Control your emotions. Spend time on self-improvement and boosting your confidence, not putting up with people who are critical or demeaning. HHH

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A healthy attitude coupled with discipline and a good work ethic will lead to a better lifestyle. Physical fitness and proper diet should be priorities. HHH

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Relax, and take a moment to review whats come and gone. Consider what you want and what you are willing to give. HHH

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Reach out to someone who needs a helping hand. Your input will make a difference and encourage a promotion or a boost to your reputation. HHHH

Excerpt from:
Relax, Aquarius, and take a moment to review what's come and gone - Bowling Green Daily News

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Get Smarter This Presidents Day With 10 Deals on Online Courses and Bootcamps - Entrepreneur

Its the season of love, which means its a good time to talk about one of your most important relationships: your relationship with yourself.

Our fundamental relationship is the relationship with ourselves, said Molly Lotz, a behavioral health social worker with UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center. In this month focused on love, we can think about what it looks like for us to nurture ourselves and our relationship with our own health.

Below, Lotz outlines her tips for practicing self-care.

A lot of people think of self-care as getting a manicure or buying a new pair of shoes, Lotz said. Theres nothing wrong with those things, but if were calling them self-care, were missing a big chunk of practices and habits that make us feel better and improve our wellness in the long run.

While self-indulgences provide immediate gratification, self-care often doesnt. So dont think youre missing out if the small steps you take for self-care dont seem to have payoffs right away. Instead, stick with it for the long haul and notice subtle shifts that change your life for the better.

Self-care might not always be easy, Lotz said. But recognize that the payoff comes in feeling better, in having your tank full.

Lotz recommends thinking of self-care in three areas.

First is fitness, or improving your physical well-being: that might mean adding a strength routine into your workout schedule or walking more each day. Second is your above-the-neck care, which includes spirituality, mindfulness or meditation, and mental and social health. And third is adding or eliminating something from your diet to improve nutrition.

Making changes in each of those areas can lead to widespread benefits, such as an improvement in your posture, an increase in your energy, a deepening in your relationships and better management of stress.

If you set up a meeting at work, chances are youll make it. Try to do the same with your self-care routine.

We can put self-care into our schedule, so when we get pinged with an appointment reminder, well honor it the same way wed honor a meeting with a co-worker, Lotz said. If somebody blew me off for a meeting, Id feel a little resentful and irritated. So why would I allow myself to do that with myself? We need to recognize self-care is just as important as any interaction with anyone else we work or live with.

Adding any form of self-care is better than what you were doing yesterday, Lotz said. Start by focusing on one thing and cut yourself some slack. These things are not easy and do take practice.

If youre stressed and overextended, its all the more difficult to help those you love.

If our tank is empty, something is going to suffer our health, our relationships, Lotz said. But if were prioritizing what we need and what makes us feel healthy and good, then were automatically more available for the other people in our lives.

Not all self-care is tedious. In fact, one important way of nurturing your mind is to incorporate more laughter and play into your life. Theres fun and lightness in it, Lotz said.

And dont forget that the end result is worth it.

Self-care will allow you to incorporate more fun into your life, to create more room for joy. Youll feel better, and your anxiety will decrease, Lotz said. While the practices may not always be fun, the payoffs are delightful.

These recommendations were inspired by the work of Dr. Jennifer Ashton, the author of The Self-Care Solution.

Susan Cunningham writes for UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center. She can be reached at cunninghamsbc@gmail.com.

Excerpt from:
Monday Medical: Self-care in the season of love - Steamboat Pilot & Today

4 How To Love Yourself By... Lauren Bravo, Writer

My top tip for loving yourself is...

'I know the idea of "dating yourself" has reached the realms of clich, but I do think there's something in it. When I'm feeling gloomy, rather than slouching about at home, I try to take myself out in a way that feels almost romantic; I plan a lovely day, take myself for a nice lunch, walk the most beautiful route rather than quickest, wear an outfit that makes me feel good, listen to something I love, spend hours cooking an amazing dinner entirely for me.

'It's all stuff that might feel a bit silly or performative at first, but once you get in the habit of choosing the nicest option instead of just the most convenient, I think that's self-love.'

How I learnt to love myself...

'All too often these days we interpret self-love as cancelling everything and spending a night alone watching Netflix in the bath, but I think just as often it can mean pushing yourself forward and giving yourself more opportunities, not fewer.

'I'm terrible at believing in myself; whenever a professional challenge or exciting opportunity comes along, my immediate reaction is always "Nope! Can't! Shan't!". And yet, when I've completed one of those scary challenges and survived, it's usually the most in love with myself I ever feel. So these days I try try! to cheer myself on with the kind of unconditional love we give our friends and families, but rarely ourselves.

'When I'm feeling like my own worst enemy, I try to treat myself like a best friend I want to spoil, or like a toddler who needs a bit of firm, affectionate parenting. It's about striking that perfect balance, not expecting too much of yourself but not failing to look after yourself either. And I do still love watching Netflix in the bath!

See more here:
15 Women Share Their Top Tips For Learning How To Love Yourself - elle.com

Every January brings a new crop of workout enthusiasts to Dallas-area gyms. Fueled by New Year's resolutions and post holiday excess, they storm the treadmills and ellipticals like starstruck fans at an Oprah wellness camp.

In good news for workout veterans, the "get in shape" zeal fades fairly quickly. Resolutions get fuzzy, there are happy hours to attend, and by the end of January, the gym is back to normal.

But the year 2020 has seen the newbies display dedication beyond the norm, sticking it out a month even two.

If you're a regular who knows the beneficial effects of working out, you have no choice but to give them a pumped-up high-5 for initiating their self improvement efforts and sticking to it. You must welcome them to the tribe. You must "woot" their perseverance.

You must even bow to the cardio neophyte who arrives 10 minutes early and commandeers your favorite exercise bike. I mean, you don't own it.

All of this said, there are times when the rookies seem clueless to the accepted decorum at any exercise facility. We're talking about the timeless rules that have been in place since Roman baths were invented in 200 BC.

Rules like, Put your weights back when you're done, wipe your sweat off the Nautilus seat, and the floor mats are for sit-ups and push-ups only. Repeat: The floor mats are for sit-ups and push-ups only.

If you judge by my neighborhood L.A. Fitness, the 2020 newbies seem to be showing deeper signs of oblivion that surpass prior years. Here are some notes on the latest crop of newbies:

Singing on the Gauntlet The Gauntlet is the big enchilada of stair devices, not for the meek. You get a great sweat going, and since it's a hulking 8-foot-tall machine, it puts you higher than everyone else at the gym, allowing you to look down upon the rest from your elevated perch.

That should be enough, right? Not for the passive aggressive guy in the tank top. He is not merely rocking to his headphone, he's singing at the top of his lungs. He is really feeling that Anthony Ramos pop tune. Try to shush him and it's: "If you don't like it, get your own headphones."

On the plus side, maybe he'll learn to really sing and become a big star and actually get his own private gym.

Sauna sit-in The internet tells us that a sauna session can relax the muscles, revitalize the skin, improve blood circulation, and ease mental stress. The internet also says that the proper way to use a sauna is in your "birthday suit." A towel, if you're modest.

So what's the deal with the 15 teenage girls jammed into the sauna, all at once, all fully dressed? Is this a thing? It's definitely a thing at the Garland L.A. Fitness. Any time of the year, open the sauna door and it's a party, everyone is fully dressed, and all are a-chatter. All that's missing is a disco ball.

The locker room selfie You've been working out for a month. You can already see a difference. You've seen the people on YouTube who track their changes via photos and videos. It has been said that this kind of activity can help stoke your commitment.

Question: Is the locker room mirror really the best place to document your journey?

More specific question: Is the locker room mirror really the place to document your journey in that kind of no-holds-barred no-clothes-on manner? Yes, the lighting is fantastic. Yes there are mirrors for miles. But how many Mr. Atlas bicep flexes ... how many attempts to do a Kim Kardashian ass does a person need?

But this rant is futile. There's even a #lockerroomselfie on Instagram.

The nonfitness buffs Working out at a gym is intrinsically a social experience. To a certain extent, you're working out so that someone might find you attractive.

But one tiny request: Please do not dawdle with your pal at the shoulder pulley. If you do not intend to do the shoulder pulley within the next 15 minutes, please step away from the shoulder pulley entirely. Look there are tables over by the smoothie counter where you can chat to your heart's content. Except that's not the point, because you want to look like you're working out.

Don't say you're "between reps," because I've been watching for the past 15 minutes and no reps were executed during that time. Yes, I could have gone and done another machine, but that's beside the point. I'm asking again, nicely, step away from the shoulder pulley right now.

Facetiming your beloved You're going to be home in 15 minutes. You're already dressed. But you gotta check in with your honey. Totally get that. There are decisions to make. Who's gonna pick up dinner and who's gonna walk the dog?

Totally don't get propping your cell on the sink and doing a Facetime. Hello, there are people behind you not dressed. We can see the background of your honey's office, so she can definitely see us behind you in the locker room.

Some situations call for a text. This is one such situation.

Read this article:
5 tiny requests of the fitness newbies wreaking havoc at my Dallas gym - CultureMap Dallas

Kobe Bryants death has drawn attention to every aspect of his life. Many fans are now learning about Bryants ventures outside the world of sports. Heres what we know about the book he never finished.

Every avid reader has particular styles and genres of literature which appeal to them. Bryant loved reading and he seemed to enjoy books about self-improvement which had a mystical flair. CNBC said his favorites included Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach andThe Heros Journey,a biography of mythologist Joseph Campbell.

Paulo Coelho is a Brazillian author whose work was also up Bryants alley. Although hes published autobiographies, hes most known for his novels, which often blend elements of self-help literature, New Age spirituality, and Roman Catholicism. Hes most well-known for his 1988 novel The Alchemist, a story about a shepherd going on an adventure which serves as an allegory about finding fulfillment. Its essentially John Bunyans The Pilgrims Progress for the 1980s.

According to CNBC, Bryant was a fan of The Alchemist and read it numerous times. He recommended it to those close to him. Time reports that, after his 2016 retirement from the NBA, Bryant even reached out to Coelho to see if they could co-write a childrens book.

We know very little about the book. Its unclear how much of it was completed before Bryants death. Its also unknown if it had a title yet. Coelho has given us an idea of its contents. Kobe was always very concerned about making a book that was a positive example for children, especially those coming from humble beginnings.

Coehlo had some positive things to say about Bryant. I saw him enough times to assure he had much more than sports on his mind, it wasnt all about competition. His tragic death has shown already how he was important to the world, not only to the United States. We will discuss his legacy for many years, much beyond sport.

Despite any fan interest in the book, Coehlo decided to delete his draft of it. I deleted the draft because it didnt make any sense to publish without him. It wouldnt add anything relevant to him or his family.

Many people urged Coehlo not to erase the incomplete book. Although he has no plans to finish it, Coehlo may write something inspired by Bryant. He explained his actions wont stop me from writing someday about things I learned from Kobe and how much of a larger-than-life person he was. But the childrens book did not make sense anymore.

Maybe Coehlo made the right decision by erasing his collaboration with Bryant. Maybe he didnt. Hopefully, anything he writes which is inspired by Bryant stays true to the NBA legend and his accomplishments.

Also see: Kobe Bryant: T.I. & Magic Johnson Have Surprising Reactions to His Death

Go here to see the original:
Kobe Bryant: Why the Inspiring Book He Was Writing Is Gone Forever - Showbiz Cheat Sheet

Powerlifting event brings athletes from all over Ohio to Danville

DANVILLE In the middle of winter, year after year, they make the annual pilgrimage to Danville. About 200 athletes from around the state of Ohio go through the rigors of testing their strength, competitive spirit and resolve. Saturdays 27th Annual Danville Powerlifting Meet attracted lifters from the four corners of Ohio literally. There were 18 teams in total. Among them were local teams like Utica and Fredericktown. There were also some teams that had to drive two or three hours, in the cold, to get in the competition. Those included teams from Toledo Christian Academy, Shadyside, Claymont, Conotton Valley and Western Reserve.

Shadyside brought along a good-size contingent of lifters, who got out of bed around 4 a.m. and arrived at the door of the Danville gymnasium at about a quarter to eight.

We have a lot of drive, said Logan Crozier, a 16-year-old, who plays center on the Shadyside football team. We just want to go out and do the best we can. I love the environment here. Everyone here is watching you. Everyone helps each other out. Its about sportsmanship. We all want to get better.

Some teams brought along an impressive amount of girls, as well as boys. Northmor was one of those.

I just like all the competitors and how they push us to get the weights up, said Northmor lifter Megan McGlothlin, a junior. Our groups are all pretty evenly matched. I like powerlifting. It helps me to push myself and I get stronger, everyday.

For Colton Johnson, a freshman from Ashland, powerlifting is all about self-improvement. He is a linebacker and running back on the football team.

I want to get better, Johnson said. No matter where you are, skill-wise, you can come here and see how youre doing. Theres a lot of competition here. People want to win.

South Central High School junior Elijah Radcliffe was a football player in his sophomore year, but now, he is exclusively a powerlifter.

All I can say is that we like to compete with each other and we like to do better, Radcliffe said. Were willing to travel to compete against other people and we have fun.

The Danville meet left Radcliffe quite impressed.

Its really nice to see all the schools here, Radcliffe said. There are random people, from different schools, congratulating each other. Im making friends with other people from different schools. I like it here.

Danville football coach Ed Honabarger believes the answer to why Danville keeps drawing so many lifters is pretty simple.

I think its the longevity of the event, Honabarger said. Its one of the oldest weightlifting events in Ohio. Also, people seem to like the way we run the meet. Weve got a good thing going, so they keep coming back. We have had people from Cincinnati, Cleveland and Toledo, through the years. Its a good way for people who dont play winter sports like wrestling or basketball to get out of the weight room and have some competition in the winter.

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A test of strength - Mount Vernon News

On January 14, the third season of YOU was confirmed, and production has now begun, with a renewal for another series supported by a $7 million production tax credit. After an uncertain end in season 2, we will explore further the twisted lives of Joe and his new partner, the well-named Love Quinn (Victoria Pedretti).

It comes after Netflix confirmed that in 2021 you would fall. After Joe Goldbergs actor Penn Badgley had left out that viewers should expect another episode of psychological thriller, the streaming giant announced he had commissioned a third season. Given the 2nd season of surprise, it is only what you fans deserve rightly.

Netflix did not confirm the exact release date for You season 3, but it was announced that ten new events were arriving in 2021 when news of the renewal had broken out. In early January, the official Twitter account for the show posted a language-in-cheek video, merely saying New Year, New You, a sweet play on the second year of your pseudo-self-improvement commentary.

To you fans, work officially began on the third chapter in even better news. Producer Sera Gamble on Twitter confirmed that work started on You season 3 on Friday, February 7.

Although this condemns viewers to a year before they can check back in with Joe and Love, it is nice to know that a new season certainly takes place in an era in which Netflix doesnt have to cancel its original shows.

Although there is no news yet as to when production begins on season 3, two new cast members are confirmed: Badgley comes back as Joe and Victoria Pedretti return as Love.

The continued presence of Love in Joes life was quite clear, considering how the pair ended in a reasonably unholy reconciliation during the second season. Hopefully, from season 2, we will also see the return of the extended cast of Quinn family and friends.

You will probably continue to be set for the foreseeable future in Los Angeles. With tax incentives previously mentioned for Californias production and a second season finale that saw Joe living in an idyllic suburban house, it is safe to believe that the third season will not be a change of venue like the second season from New York City to LA.

Season 2 of you drastically increased the melodrama and disagreed with the books with a rather shocking character. One Love is pushed by his first wife, Candace, to face the true nature of Joe, she receives some news in a way that few people have seenstabbing Candace in her throat.

It wasa moment, revealing that Love is as obsessive and tendency to murder as Joe is. Speaking in an interview, Badgley offers insight into the gender policy of Joes rejection of the darkest trends of his partner.

Original post:
You Season 3 On Netflix: Premiere Date Revealed By Netflix? Heres What You Should Know - The Digital Weekly

James Taylor, photographed in London in February 2020. Photograph: Alicia Canter/The Guardian

James Taylor looks out at the sprawling London skyline. This is where it started, he says. The moment. He made his first trip here in 1968, playing for Paul McCartney and George Harrison and becoming the first artist signed to the Beatles record label, Apple Records. This was before he moved to Laurel Canyon with the rest of the denim-draped California dreamers who defined the sound of the late 60s and far beyond. Before he met David Crosby, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash, Neil Young, Jackson Browne, Linda Ronstadt, Carole King and Joni Mitchell. Before he and Mitchell fell in love. Before he wrote his pivotal album Sweet Baby James during a stint in a psychiatric hospital. Before his marriage to Carly Simon, which opened up his personal life including his long battle with heroin addiction to public consciousness. Before he sold 100m records, performed for the Obamas and the Clintons, and then, decades later, appeared on stage with one of the worlds biggest pop stars, Taylor Swift, who is named after him.

It has been quite the trip, he admits.

Taylor is in a reflective mood when we meet, and says he is always like this. Im a very self-centred songwriter. I always have been. Its the personal stuff I like, for better or for worse. He is here to promote his 19th album, American Standard; a covers album of the old standards and Broadway show tunes he was raised on. He says there was a period when his generation wanted to distance themselves from this music, but he now recognises it as the pinnacle of American popular song ... It was sheet music, anyone would sing it, so the songs had to stand on their own. Its what informed me as a songwriter, and others of my generation; Lennon and McCartney, Randy Newman, Elton [John] and Bernie [Taupin], Paul Simon ...

He has also released an audio memoir Break Shot which takes him back to his turbulent early years, finishing with that first London trip. He is anxious, he says, about how the memoir will be received. It covers his fathers alcoholism and his brothers death from the disease, as well as his own drug addiction, all of which, he worries, could be sensationalised. But the memoir is mostly about the shattering effect that early childhood trauma, addiction and grief can have generations later. Its a subtle exploration of the ripples, as Taylor puts it.

Born in Boston in 1948, Taylor was, according to his memoir, brought up devoted to progressive politics, self-improvement and the arts. His father, a doctor, moved the family to the south when he became the dean of the medical school of the University of North Carolina; his mother didnt want to go, and fought against the politics she found there. She saw the north-eastern state of Massachusetts as a lost Eden and would spend her days doing sit-ins at segregated lunch counters, on protests, and hauling her five kids to Marthas Vineyard every summer to restore our Yankee credentials. Not long after moving the family to North Carolina, Taylors father was assigned to the navy. He spent two years on an expedition to the south pole, where he held the keys to the liquor cabinet of 100 men. He went to the bottom of the world and returned with a serious drinking problem.

Theres a mysterious energy to someone who lives with a tragedy like this, Taylor says of his father. Its like when you take your report card home from school and you know that if you hand it to him before hes had his first drink, youre going to get one response and if you hand it to him after his first drink, youll get another.

Was his dad abusive? No, he says firmly. My father was a remarkable and powerful and beautiful guy who self-medicated with alcohol ... But he was by no means an abusive or stumble-bum or knee-walking or ditch-sleeping drunk.

Still, an unpredictable parent is rarely a recipe for a stable adulthood. Sure, he says. But complacent happiness is not a gift of the gods, either.

Taylor began playing guitar in his teens, strumming along to his parents record collection: Harry Belafonte, Nina Simone, Judy Garland, Lead Belly. Fingerpicking became his vernacular as much as his lyrics. His first big hit, Fire and Rain, about the suicide of a friend, includes the themes that came to define his songwriting the precarity of our emotional lives, happiness as something to be treasured and the natural worlds capacity for renewal. The line Ive seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, prompted Carole King to write Youve Got a Friend for him in response.

It was during high school that he and his family began to unravel. He was admitted to the McLean psychiatric hospital at 16 with what we would now probably call depression and anxiety, staying there for nine months. Two of his siblings followed him there. When I jumped the tracks and went to McLean, its like they thought: Yeah, thats right, we need this help. It became an option.

When Taylor left hospital, the fund set aside for his university tuition had been spent on his treatment and he decided to go to New York to pursue music. He formed a band, the Flying Machine, and developed a heroin habit. To be able to take a juice that solves your internal stress ... he trails off. One of the signs that you have an addiction problem is how well it works for you at the very beginning. Its the thing that makes you say: Damn, I like my life now. Thats when you know you shouldnt do it again. His wasnt the addiction of rock mythology, chaotic and glamourised. Taylor says mostly he used the drug to get normal.

One day, his father called him in New York. He said: James, you dont sound too good. I wasnt. Taylor was strung out, broke and still very unwell. His dad drove through the night, arriving at his West Side apartment the next day. Its a cynical thing, he says. But, you know, a mother really has to be there. But a father? Well, you can construct a father out of a few good episodes. It was on that long drive home that his father warned him opiates were like kryptonite to the Taylors. As a kid, his uncle said to him: If youre a Taylor and you touch an opiate, youre finished. You can just kiss your entire life goodbye. His fathers family had owned a sanatorium, the Broadoaks asylum in Morganton, North Carolina. After the civil war, there was a huge opiate problem. A lot of the business in the sanatorium was treating addiction a lot of mental health problems were secretly addiction problems, he says.

Taylor boarded a flight to London shortly after New Years Day 1968. His friend had given him the number of Peter Asher, the brother of McCartneys then girlfriend Jane Asher; he had just been hired as a talent scout for the Beatles new label. Asher liked Taylors demo and arranged an audition with McCartney and Harrison. I was very nervous. But I was also, you know, on fire, he laughs. In my sort of mellow, sensitive way. He played his song Something In the Way She Moves (a line Harrison pinched for the opening line of his song Something) and they signed him then and there to make his eponymous first album. At the time, the Beatles were making the White Album. We intersected in the studio a lot, says Taylor. They were leaving as I was coming in. I often came in early and would sit in the control room and listen to them recording and hear playbacks of what they had just cut. Did you hang out together? Yeah, he says. I ask if the band was unravelling by that point. Well, it was a slow unraveling, but it was also an extremely creative unravelling.

Heroin and other opiates were very available and very cheap in London at the time. I picked up pretty soon after I got here, he says. I started by he pauses. I shouldnt go into this kind of stuff. Its not an AA meeting. Then he continues. But you used to be able to buy something called Collis Brownes Chlorodyne, which was an old-fashioned medication. Essentially, it was a tincture of opium, so youd drink a couple of bottles and you could take the edge off. Was it hard to kick the habit, given the circles he was moving in? Well, I was a bad influence to be around the Beatles at that time, too. Why? Because I gave John opiates. Did you introduce him to them? I dont know, he says. Lennon, by many accounts, picked up a heroin habit in 1968 that contributed to an unhealable rift in the band.

A year later, after being released from his Apple contract, Taylor went to a rehab facility and moved to Laurel Canyon in Los Angeles, a deep-green crease that runs through the Hollywood Hills which was becoming a haven for the young, politically aware and creative. It was, he says, a rare instance where something heralded as a golden age really was one. A new generation of singer-songwriters came up through the Troubadour nightclub, their work focusing on the internal and domestic, and borrowing from the roots of American song: country, bluegrass, folk.

It really was a perfect moment, that Laurel Canyon period, Taylor says. Carole lived up there, Joni and I lived in her house there for the better part of a year. The record companies were relatively benign and there were people in them who cared about the music and the artists it hadnt become a corporate monolith yet. There was a sense of there being a community: myself, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, Carole King, Crosby, Stills and Nash. David Geffen was in the mix a lot. Linda Ronstadt, Peter Asher, Harry Nilsson. You know, it was pretty much what they say. Things really worked well.

While in rehab, he had written most of the songs for his second album, his breakout, Sweet Baby James. He enlisted King to play keyboard; he then played on her 1971 album Tapestry. His relationship with Mitchell lasted a year, much of it on the road: she was composing the songs for her classic album Blue he, meanwhile, was writing his third album, Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon, including the gorgeous You Can Close Your Eyes, written for her. But behind the scenes, their relationship was struggling. As Taylors career took off, his addiction dragged him down again. Mitchell mourned their split on her album For the Roses in the song Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire, a devastating eyewitness account of a person bashing in veins for peace. I ask Taylor if he is able to listen to Mitchells music from that time. Blue, oh yes, he says. And she sings so beautifully on my songs. What about Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire? He goes quiet. Its not like listening to me, he whispers.

What is it like? He hangs his head for some time, silent. Im not able to listen to it, he says.

I ask if hes still in touch with Mitchell and his face lights up for the first time. Weve continued to have a friendship and, well, I recently sort of re-engaged with Joni, and thats been wonderful. She came to a show of mine recently, at the Hollywood Bowl, which was an unusual thing for her to do. Mitchell has been recovering from a period of ill health after a brain aneurysm in 2015. But shes recovering, shes coming back which is an amazing thing to be able to do and I wonder what she has to tell us about that. When you say coming back does he mean shes making music? Yes, I think shes coming back musically ... Its amazing to see her come back to the surface.

Taylor has four children: two with his first wife, Carly Simon, whom he married in 1972. And two with his third wife, Kim Smedvig, whom he married in 2001. Given the experience with his own dad, is he critical of himself as a father? God, yes, definitely, he says. You know, my kids actually say to me: Youre not your dad, you know? You can relax. Youre in no danger of repeating it again. For one thing, youre sober, and for another thing youre here and paying attention. He was 26 when he married Simon, who was four years his senior. He talks about their marriage very rarely. But she devoted most of her 2015 memoir to unpicking it. I was very young, he says. And I would be an addict for another 10 years. I mean, you marry an addict, you just have no idea who this person is, and he doesnt have any idea who he is either. Its terrible.

In 1983, Taylor got sober, attending AA. But it is an ongoing process, getting clean. He took methadone to address his heroin usage, and that became a powerful addiction in itself. It really lives in your bones; I mean, it just takes for ever to get over it. It helped to see addiction as a physical disease, too. Youve trained your body to accept a substance when you feel stress, but that help doesnt last for ever. It has a negative progression. Thats the only reason people get better. And so youre left with a feeling that when you encounter stress, you feel it physically, and it feels like withdrawing. Its a nasty way to feel. And the only advice I give to people who are recovering from addiction is that physical exercise is the only antidote to feeling like you cant stand being in your own skin. Is that how it feels? Its terrible. Its like you dont want to be here, he says, motioning to his body. But in here is where you live. For 15 years, Taylor exercised for hours every day: running and rowing. It set me free, he says.

He hopes this year to perform to help get out the vote ahead of the US presidential election. He met Donald Trump once, in an airport. I just thought of him as a frivolous, minor player. It drives me crazy how unworthy he is of our attention and how much of it he has. He is rooting for the Democratic candidates Deval Patrick and Elizabeth Warren both from Massachusetts, where he now lives. But at this point, Id be happy to see pretty much anyone in the bar is so low. Because the very worst person possible that you could think to be heading the thing is there. Its like the Confederacy has won the civil war.

As the interview ends, Taylor gets up and shakes my hand. I thank him for his honesty, and tell him his experiences and the thoughtful way he talks about recovery are doubtless helpful to other addicts. He leaves the room, comes back and shakes my hand again. Then he leans in and gives me a long, warm embrace, before heading off to be photographed, walking into the light again.

James Taylors new album American Standard (Fantasy Records) is released on 28 February

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I was a bad influence on the Beatles': James Taylor on Lennon, love and recovery - The Guardian