Tennessee Williams' classic play THE GLASS MENAGERIE transformed the stage at His Majesty's Theatre with some modern touches that enhance how this story is told. BLACK SWAN Theatre Company's creative talents (and talented creatives) come to the fore to deliver a memorable and thought-provoking performance.

THE GLASS MENAGERIE is semi-autobiographical, with details more factual than allegorical. Tennessee Williams gives the main character and narrator his real name- Tom- whilst the character's sister Amanda is nicknamed Blue Roses, a hark to Williams' sister Rose. Williams also spent time in a shoe factory, sharing an occupation with narrator Tom. As long time collaborator Elia Kazan said of Tennessee Williams, "Everything in his life is in his plays, and everything in his plays is in his life." The autobiographical elements seem to lend themselves to the feeling of the play that brings the audience on an emotional rollercoaster, with the narrative having us wanting each character in turn to succeed and later to fail, until everyone is reconstructed in a charming ending where, despite nothing being resolved per se, there is a feeling that each character for the first time is content.

Without a curtain, Fiona Bruce's set design is immediately striking. Whilst appearing somewhat plain at first, the set comes to life with under Lucy Birkinshaw's lighting design. Michael Carmody contributes something not oft seen, with video design adding a further element to the play. The fifth character in the play- the absent father whose portrait sits above the fireplace- is personified by the videos, and weight added to his character through this unique avenue. Composer and pianist Tom O'Halloran is visible but not obvious at the back of the stage, and his music perfectly suits the play. As with the family dynamic portrayed in the show, O'Halloran's music has an air of familiarity, with variations and quick progressions that match the action on stage. Another off-stage presence deserving of praise is voice and accent coach Julia Moody. Each accent is excellent, with McElhinney's Southern accent losing its polish after years in St Louis, Joel Jackson's mid-western accent steeped heavily in the working class whilst Acacia Daken's is one of isolation, and Jake Fryer-Hornsby's twang shows a more settled upbringing and perhaps loftier ambitions, with a heavy hint of confidence absent from the others.

Mandy McElhinney plays Amanda Wigfield, the Southern matriarch of the family who persistently struggles with the disconnect between how she dreamed her life would be and how it has turned out. The fracture this causes between Amanda and her adult children is perfectly illustrated by McElhinney, with her supportive faade often faills and gives way to a more overbearing style. The love she has, though, never falters, with McElhinney managing to paint a deeper picture of internal struggles through her performance. The narrator and central character of Tom Wigfield is played by Joel Jackson. Tom starts as a somewhat idyllic son and brother under the control of an unreasonable mother, however as the play progresses- perhaps as the events become more recent and memories of them clearer- Tom becomes more troublesome and abrasive, spending more time retreating to his vices. The change from dreamer into daydreamer is brought across by Jackson's outstdanding performance. As Laura Wingfield is Acacia Daken, who brilliantly shows off the character's fragility. Laura is somewhat the focal point of the second act and you can't help but wanting her to succeed thanks to Daken's performance having been drawn deeply into the character through a slow burn introduction. As Jim O'Connor is Jake Fryer-Hornsby, who is focussed on self-improvement. Fryer-Hornsby begins as the perfect partner for Laura, however his appeal fluctuates as Fryer-Hornsby's portrayal gives away more of the character. The portrayal, as well as the dynamic with Acacia Daken's Laura, uses the tension with the audience perfectly; building it, reducing it, and breaking it with expert timing. The chemistry between Daken and Fryer-Hornsby is one of many highlights of the play.

THE GLASS MENAGERIE speaks for itself as an icon of literature, however BLACK SWAN Theater company enhances it with exquisite staging and superb acting. The performers drag the audience in so deeply that you may ask the characters at the beginning "How can you do that to each other?" but at the end you ask "How can you do that to me?" The complex tapestry woven of relationships and hopes is irresistible and each character's journey is perfectly represented. This modern retelling of a classic is less something to be seen and more something to be experienced, but either way it is not to be missed.

THE GLASS MENAGERIE is at His Majesty's Theatre until August 21, with several matinees and more accessible performances. Tickets and more information available from BLACK SWAN Theatre Company

Photo Credit: Daniel J Grant

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Review: THE GLASS MENAGERIE at His Majesty's Theatre - Broadway World

The ambiguity between Guillermo the fearsome slayer, who almost beat Nandor during the Familiar Fights at The Night Market, and the underdog in a wolf pack is fertile ground for comic undertones and character evolution. Nandor has had Guillermo on his mind since, at the very least, the Djinns last-moment small print addition to a big-dick contract. In his one of many wishes wasted on self-improvement, whenever Nandor put his new and improved penis to use, all he could think about was Guillermo.

Romantic tension is inherent between vampire and familiar, even the bride Marwa (Parisa Fakhri), picks up on it. She feels whatever Nandor likes, so this has the potential to grow like the list of impossible requests for the wedding. In this, the series jumps a shark, not literally but historically, as one of the oldest go-to jokes in the book. The Dodo Bird is the most famous of all creatures who went extinct during human consciousness. Entire ecosystems and a rare fruit were lost when the last dodo was snacked upon, apparently by the Wraiths, if we follow the mythology of What We Do in the Shadows to ridiculous conclusions. Considered the help by the vampires, Nadja wouldnt let the Wraiths eat the cake being drawn into the nuptial feast by six mighty black stallions. They dont have that kind of sweetbread.

Rich humans are like veal, conceptually repulsive but buttery on my tongue, Nadja says in what is becoming a running gag of subtle social commentary. Nutley, N.J., is also a very subliminally unsettling setting, which leads to one of the least subtle sequences of the series so far: Baron Afanas (Doug Jones) makeover montage. What We Do in the Shadows purists may find the sequence too staged, campy, and clichd, but it is a very effective takeoff on the art of comic editing, as well as being full of visual gags. It also restores the Afanas character for future chaos.

While wedding bells usually spell the dissolution of the old gang, vampire weddings tend to reassemble them. Derek (Chris Sandiford), who went from being a vampire hunter to a vampire, returns as an eternally needy friend indeed. His reading of you had my number this whole time? is heartbreakingly amusing, proving exactly why Guillermo hadnt thought to call. The creature which crawled out of the abdominal cavity of Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) only makes one appearance in the episode, and that is as a sidekick to Doll Nadja as the two are reduced to being the flower children.

The ceremony itself is a traditional affair, the human neighbors have been hypnotized not to freak out by all the vampires there, and the vampires maintain a repressed respectability. This breaks when Baron Afanas begins the oration, and the true nature of the vampire spills out. Its all about sex, and the promise of more sex, and will ultimately lead to a musical high point: a bawdily inquisitive duet between Nadja and Laszlo on the duration of marital consummation.

There are many reasons to object to the union of Nandor and Marwa, beyond parking validation. The central chemistry of the leads is still reacting to all the Wraith energy The Guide is bringing to the series, and Baby Colin hasnt yet found his niche. But the most damning, as far as a viewers choice contention, comes from the Sire, also known as Gojlrm: Ruin is inevitable, all else is prelude. He speaks for TV executives across all platforms, who only speak in numbers.

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What We Do in the Shadows Season 4 Celebrates Unholy Matrimony - Den of Geek

The Kansas football team huddles up during the first day of practice on Tuesday, Aug. 2, 2022. by Chance Parker/Journal-World photo

Fresh off of a family vacation, Kansas basketball coach Bill Self made a visit to KU football practice on Wednesday morning to chat with coach Lance Leipold and get a look at the team.

According to the Kansas soccer team's Twitter account, Self also stopped by Rock Chalk Park to talk with Mark Francis' club before its exhibition opener on Wednesday night.

Ever a supporter of KUs group of gridiron warriors, Self spoke with optimism about the future of the program and emphasized its importance to all of KUs athletic programs.

We havent seen the potential of this place until football gets going like it can, Self told Brian Hanni during Kansas Athletics live coverage of preseason camp. Of course, it cant get going unless people buy in. Lance has got all the players to buy in, the administration, the staff, but until the fans also buy in, its going to be a much more difficult process.

Its chicken or the egg, Self added. Do you wait until (they) win until you come or do you come to help them win? I think the latters definitely the way this program needs it in order to build it quicker.

A regular at KUs home games throughout his time in Lawrence, Self said he was impressed by what he had seen from Leipold during his first 16 months in charge of the rebuilding program.

Self called Leipolds organization, positivity and energy big positives and said the improvement the Jayhawks showed down the stretch during Leipolds season was a clear sign that the players were on board with what Leipold and his coaching staff are trying to accomplish.

Being able to get 100 guys to move around and be organized all the time, you know, I struggle with 12 or 13 so Im impressed, he said of Leipolds organizational skills.

Self also said he thought the 12 transfers and incoming recruiting class would aid the teams improvement, but he also noted that there were plenty of returning players who fans and coaches should be excited about, most notably sophomore running back Devin Neal and senior safety Kenny Logan Jr. Self said he thought those two, along with a few other Jayhawks, could start on most Big 12 teams.

Were gaining on it, he said. Were not going to be outworked and were not going to be outcoached.

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Kansas basketball coach Bill Self visits KU football practice, believes Jayhawks are 'gaining on it' in quest to climb Big 12 ladder | Tale of the...

You and your fianc just got in the car after (yet another) disastrous evening with friends. Like always, he had one too many to drink and made a fool of himself (and, by proxy, you). From his sexual innuendos about your BFFs low-cut dress to telling everyone your mothers a piece of work, one things clear: You deserve better. So, you finally say it: I cant do this anymore. At first, your fiancs apologetic. He admits that he crossed the line and begs for a second chance. I promise, next time will be differentjust let me prove it to you, he snivels. So, you decide to give him a second (or fifth) chance. But then, three weeks later, youre in the same position: Wanting out of the relationship and not knowing how to leave. This, friends, is an example of Hoovering.

Indeed, Hoovering is an emotional form of manipulation that sucks someone back into a relationship. Whats more, its a behavior thats specific to narcissistic personalities (as if dealing with a narcissist wasnt hard enough). So, we called on the experts to help break down Hooveringfrom signs to look out for and exactly how it differs from gaslightingplus advice on where to go from there.

Hoovering is a behavioral term used to describe a narcissist (or someone with narcissistic tendencies) who uses emotional manipulation to lure their partner back into a toxic relationship. The term comes from the concept of a Hoover vacuum, [where a narcissist] will suck up the happiness from their previous partner in order to get them to return to them, Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed psychologist specializing in relationships and trauma, tells us. Usually, this behavior comes on the heels of a separation. One partner attempts to remove themselves from the relationship, while the other does everything in their power to regain control.

The short answer? Control. Hoovering behaviors are meant to pull their previous partner back in so they can go back to feeling a sense of control and boosted ego, says Dr. Fedrick. In theory, Hoovering is a last-ditch effort for someonewith a distorted worldview, we might addto regain control. In reality, its a masked manipulation tactic that, if successful, leaves the other person feeling trapped, confused and unable to see the situation clearly.

While anyone can technically engage in Hoovering behaviors, Dr. Fedrick says its generally more specific to narcissistic relationships. What is important to note here, is that there are a very large number of individuals who display narcissistic tendencies, despite not fully falling into the diagnostic category of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). So while its accurate to say that anyone can engage in Hoovering, its generally individuals with multiple narcissistic tendencies who will be most likely to demonstrate this type of dysfunctional behavior.

Case Kenny, relationship expert and host of the New Mindset Who Dis podcast, tells us: Someone who knows their partner is trying to leave (and knows how to manipulate them) will pull anything out of their toolbox that can tug at their partners heartstrings. On one hand, this can involve elaborate gift giving or love bombing, where the person will make too-big-to-be-true promises to distract from the reality of the relationship. Yet, on the other, Hoovering can manifest in psychological forms of blackmail that sow doubt and insecurity. If you're married or you've been dating for a long time, the longevity of your relationship is something that's going to be thrown around a lot. Plus, if there are kids involved, theres another level of guilt associated with breaking up the family that someone can throw on you, Kenny adds.

Per Dr. Fedrick, here are ten specific signs to look out for when it comes to Hoovering.

1. Sending lovey-dovey texts after a breakup

Receiving text messages that say things like, I am thinking about you or I miss you.

2. Coming up with random reasons to see you

Reaching out for random reasons, such as needing help with something or remembering that they left something at your house.

3. Threatening you with self-harm

Making threats of self-harming behaviors if they are unable to see you or talk to you.

4. Love-bombing you with over-the-top gestures

Over-complimenting or showering you with praise, sending elaborate gifts or other unnecessary surprises.

5. Giving long-overdue apologies

Apologizing for prior abusive behaviors and promising to be different and to make changes.

6. Making empty promises

Making promises that they have engaged in self-improvement attempts and are a different person.

7. Offering to keep things casual

Pretending as though nothing has happened and attempting to re-engage in a casual manner.

8. Trying to reach you through your friends or family

Having friends or family members reach out to you on their behalf. This is a great way to not only muddle the situation, but frame you as the bad guy to the people you care about most.

9. Reaching out on holidays or special occasions

Using special occasions (i.e., Christmas, New Years, birthdays, etc.) as a reason to text or call you.

10. Accidentally contacting you to strike up a conversation

Sending accidental calls or texts in order to get you to answer or return their attempt.

According to Dr. Fedrick, Awareness is key when it comes to preventing or stopping the cycles of a toxic relationship. Its kind of like AA: the first step to healing is recognizingand admittingthat theres a problem in therelationship. Kenny adds. I knowespecially as we get olderwe have a real aversion to starting over and being single. But if you look in the grand scheme of things, the thing youll regret is most is sticking it out in a relationshipthat doesn't serve you.It's OK to request, or even demand, for them to stop contacting you. And, most importantly, seek help from a professional mental health professional to learn more about coping and safely separating from this toxic relationship.

RELATED: What Does Gaslighting in Relationships Actually Look Like?

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Are You Being Hoovered? We Asked The Experts - PureWow

New Information and Communication Technologies (ICT), Artificial Intelligence (AI), connectivity technology and solutions, 5G and cloud services are transforming traditional mechanical automobiles towards intelligent connected terminals, leading to the concept of Intelligent Connected Vehicle (ICV). Driven by a new round of scientific and technological revolution, ICVs have become the focus and development direction of the future transportation system.

The fundamental purpose of ICVs is to achieve intelligent information exchange and sharing between vehicles and X (cars, roads, people or clouds etc.) with multi-functions, which involve complex environmental awareness, intelligent decision-making, collaborative control and execution. ICVs can achieve a new generation of cars to replace people, providing more convenient modes and energy-efficient integrated solutions with a high level of safety, efficiency, comfort.

In order to achieve safe and sustainable mobility, the automobile industry is transforming towards a low-carbon, information-based, and intelligent era. In the past few years, ICV has become a globally renowned future development direction and focus of attention. All circles of automotive industry, academia and research institutes and governments have focused on the development of ICV, ranging from research and development (R&D) of new technologies to improvement of the top-level design.

Intelligent connected vehicle industry overview and market development

China has become the largest automotive market in the world with a vehicle population of 240 million at the end of 2018, which stimulates Chinese consumers' passion for intelligent and connected vehicles. As one of the first entrants to deploy and implement ICVs on a large scale, China's automotive industry is poised and determined to accelerate the intelligent and connected transition. The national strategic deployment and explosive automotive demand present continuous driving forces and improvement opportunities for ICVs development. With the increasing strength of advanced information and technology industries, it is expected that Chinese automotive industry grasps the opportunity of ICV to catch up with and outperform the foreign counterparts.

Drivers of the development of ICVs in China

Digital Economy

The primary characteristics of the digital economy is data-driven industrial transformation. During the period of 2015-2020, the Chinese government frequently promulgated relevant policies on digital economy. Catalyzed by multiple policy dividends, the digital economy is setting off a new round of infrastructure construction. As the focus of urban innovation and construction, ICV is considered as the core technology of digital economic development and an important strategy contributing to China's economic transformation and upgrading. The Chinese government is committed to strengthening the top-level design and providing new momentum to the ICV industry in the digital integration era.

Supportive regulatory and policy environment

With the accelerated development of China's automotive industry in the direction of intelligent networks, a supportive policy and regulatory environment is essential. Since the announcement of Made in China 2025 strategy in 2015, a series of relevant policies and documents on ICV industry has been successively issued with clear development mandates and tasks. Meanwhile, the requirements on the development of demonstration bases are established to conduct pilot demonstrations for the ICV. According to China Manufacturing 2025, ICV is listed as one of the ten key development areas and also promoted to the national strategic height as a standard of market behaviour, stimulating the healthy and sustainable development of automobile industry.

In order to promote the wide deployment of ICVs and their associated infrastructures, the development of relevant policies is the primary driving force for the development of ICV industry. The development of ICV has become a primary concern of the Chinese government. During recent years, the State Council, Development and Reform Commission, Ministry of Industry and Information Technology, Ministry of Transport and other relevant departments have issued a series of policies and standards with a main foucs on the development of ICV industry.

Currently, China has proactively launched 20 domestic testing and demonstration zones in order to boost the development of ICVs . The designation of pilot and demonstration zones is expected to catalyze new applications, technologies, products, and new models of ICVs.

Administrative documents and initiatives in Shenzhen

Shenzhen is the first city in China to formulate the first-of-its-kind legislation in this emerging field. The "Regulations of Shenzhen Special Special Economic Zone Regulations on the administration of Intelligent Networked Vehicles" (hereinafter referred to as the Regulations) came into effect on August 1, 2022. It is the country's first mandate to clarify responsibilities for cars at a minimum of Level 3 autonomous driving. The Shenzhen Municipal People's Congress exercised its special zone's legislative power to promote the local intelligent connected vehicle development, providing a reference standard for autonomous driving-related policies in other cities across the country.

Based in Shenzhen, DeepRoute.ai (Chinese: ) is a self-driving technology firm committed to advancing urban logistics and popularizing robotaxis. On the basis of the new regulation, DeepRoute.ai conducted driverless road tests in Shenzhen with vehicles equipped with production-ready L4 solution. Maxwell Zhou, the CEO of the company said " Open road testing and demonstration applications with more complete cooperative vehicle infrastructure throughout the region will allow us to obtain a diverse set of drive test data. The validity and quality of these data will be higher. Moreover, allowing fully unmanned autonomous services demonstrates a rapid advance in its commercialization and a regulatory breakthrough in the domestic market."

This new regulation is considered as a major milestone in advancing autonomous driving technology and deemed the prelude to mass production and commercialization of autonomous driving vehicles. It is reported that autonomous driving start-ups are racing to commercially deploy their fully self-driving vehicles. With this regard, Zhou responded "our company will mainly focus on the commercialization of autonomous driving, promoting the mass production of autonomous vehicles, as well as charging the self-driving cabs. For mass production, we are committed to creating 'low-cost' self-driving cars that are ' affordable for everyone' by partnering with other car enterprises. It is expected that our mass-produced self-driving vehicles will enter the consumer market on a large scale by 2025."

Technology Advancement

The new era of mobile internet technology, big data, cloud computing, artificial intelligence have been fundamentally penatrated with the ICV industry. It is widely recognized that embedded connectivity has already uncovered new features and capabilities that are changing the driving experience. As an integral part of a transition of automotive industry, 5G technology, characterized by ultra-low latency, high-speed and IoT-driven design, plays a significant role in altering the way automotive OEMs design and manufacture, how the driveless vehicles operate, and how customers interact with them. Coupled with IoT hardware and superior computing power, 5G technology presents a myriad of possibilities for the automotive industry.

Founded in 2009 and headquartered in Shanghai, PATEO CONNECT+ Technology C (hereinafter referred to as PATEO) is one of the long-established Telematics enterprises in China. Concerning the advent of 5G technology, the founder of PATEO, Ken Ying contends that "The escalating upgrades of automotive intelligent networks and advanced technologies (e.g., 5G) brought about dramatic changes on supply relationships and business models. In response to this, PATEO will provide a wide range of cooperation scenarios in aspects of OEM, hardware, and software models." When it comes to intelligent cockpit, Ken believes that "5G technology will provide a comprehensive range of intelligent cockpit application scenarios. For example, on the basis of 5G V2X, we can carry out scenarios related to self-driving vehicle-road cooperation (e.g., cloud driving) as well as deploy some cloud services to enhance user experiences."

Amid the fast-growing penetration of ICVs coupled with the increasingly complex transportation environment, there has been a growing awareness on the violation of users' confidential information. The security issue can be considered as a significant obstacle in terms of the industry's sustainable and healthy development. In this regard, Ken responded that "PATEO attaches great importance to users' personal privacy rights in compliance with national laws, regulations, and requirements and establishes a security management committee. Meanwhile, we also strictly require our downstream suppliers to ensure the confidentiality and safety of user data." Ken also mentioned the function of intelligent cockpit, PATEO has added that "the setting of user privacy, which actively assists users to conceal sensitive information through well-processing user data collected by car-end devices, such as data in the car recorder, license plates, and facial recognition."

The implementation of advanced assisted driving technology and autonomous driving technology has become a primary focus in the product configuration of major automobile enterprises. As the Intelligent Networked Vehicle Technology Roadmap 2.0 suggests, it is expected that the penetration rate of PA (partially autonomous driving) and CA (conditional autonomous driving) intelligent networked vehicles continues to increase, reaching 50% in 2025 and more than 70% in 2030. The assembly rate of new vehicles with C-V2X terminals is anticipated to reach 50% in 2025 and be basically popularized in 2030.

Intelligent connected vehicles (ICVs) can provide safer, more comfortable, energy-efficient, environment-friendly travel modes and integrated solutions. It does not only pose significant impacts on the value-chain of future automotive industry, but also provides the Chinese automotive industry with strategic opportunities for transforming and upgrading auto products and technologies. ICV is regarded as a vital component of the urban intelligent transportation system, re-defining the 'car of the future' in China. From the perspectives of government guidance, market regulation, corporate R&D, China's ICV industry is facing a myriad of opportunities and challenges. China's government has been formulating policies and promoting investment to support the development of ICVs. Driven by mobile and government-supportive connectivity, it is anticipated that there will be explosive industrial growth of the ICV sector in the future.

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Envisioning the Future Mobility in China: the Intelligent Connected Vehicles (ICVs) - EqualOcean

People these days seem to be always searching for something better or a purpose in life. Many look at self-help books, of which there are more than twenty million titles in circulation. The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale and Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson are two of my favorites. The number one book is How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. Although my eyes have never gazed upon this book, I seem to be able to win friends and influence people none-the-less.

My attempts to look better are more insubstantial. For instance, I admire women who wear make-up, especially beautiful make-up. My oldest daughter is a make-up artist, and her talented hands could make a pig look pretty. She did my make-up once and the results smile back from my Facebook page every day. Doing make-up is a chore at my age, with declining close vision and hand tremors that smear it all over the place. When I had an important meeting at work the other day, I splurged and spent time putting on mascara. Pleased with the results, I put on my glasses and my efforts were magnified. Unfortunately, later in the day with my glasses off, I felt something in my eye, and rubbed vigorously before remembering the mascara, which by that time was smudged into raccoon eyes; so much for my attempt to look prettier.

Many people, myself included, want to be more physically fit, but I have the ridicules excuse that my work schedule does not allow the time to exercise. In response, someone gave me a portable fitness pedal stationary under desk indoor exercise machine, that is, a set of bicycle pedals that can be used while seated at a desk. Just looking at it made me drive to Healthtrax to talk about a membership.

Losing weight is a big challenge. I love the ads for the weight loss product that was embraced by every panelist on Shark Tank, a television show that rewards entrepreneurs with lucrative contracts for their inventions. TruKeto is publicized to flush out harmful toxins, block excess fat production, curb appetite, improve mood and sense of well being, improve sleep, lower blood pressure, reduce cholesterol and regular blood sugar levels. Oh, and people who used it lost more than twenty pounds a month. Somehow it sounds too good to be true and I am not sure it is trustworthy. In a different tract, I will be forming a more traditional method for weight loss by combining eating fewer calories, exercising, and creating group encouragement by starting a Biggest Loser-like weight loss contest with all of my friends. (It will be done virtually, and anyone can join the fun. More details will follow next month.)

People often want to improve their lives by living in bigger, more beautiful houses. We were fortunate to be able to buy our ranch house on a pond for a mere $35,000 more than 40 years ago. It has served our family well with its four bedrooms and two bathrooms, but now it seems too large for just two of us. It crossed our minds to look for something smaller and cozier, but when doing so, we came across much smaller homes priced higher than our home is worth! With home prices being so high, it is a wonder that anyone can afford more than a shack in the woods.

Many people are searching for the bigger answers, such as the meaning of life. For answers to questions like this, it is helpful to believe in or belong to some type of religious organization such as a local church or temple. All religions and philosophies of which I am aware lead in some way to God. They stress the basic values of compassion, solidarity, and the Golden Rule of respect for our fellow humans. I suspect it would be extremely difficult to feel positive about the meaning of life without this type of connection.

Whether we are looking for self-improvement, better looks, a slimmer body, bigger, better houses, or the meaning of life, let us provide encouragement to others who are on the search for the same things.

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Self-help and the meaning of life | Johnston Sun Rise - Johnston Sun Rise

Affirmations are positive thoughts and possessing a mental attitude of being able to achieve success using these thoughts. It is a self-help strategy that is used to promote self-confidence and a belief in ones abilities. But the big question is, do they actually work? And the quick answer is, it depends.

Creating a mental image of acing an interview or scoring a goal, or parachuting off a plane can actually activate these emotions and a feeling of success. This means that regularly repeating these affirming statements can encourage your brain to make these things happen in reality, so the thought precedes the action.

Studies show that the brain is wired to mix up reality and imagination at times and this can be effective when using affirmations as it promotes a strong self-trained belief of being able to do or accomplish things in the future.

As much as affirmations can help, action is imperative. Taking action is a must, affirmations can only do so much.

Making them count

Make affirmations that are set in the present, and take small steps at a time, as lofty goals may be too overwhelming. Ultimately, self-affirming statements will depend on how you use them to your benefit.

Setting them in the present means acting as if youve already succeeded. Start imagining yourself working in that company or on the project that you hope to get, and youre halfway there. This is also a good way to change long-standing patterns or self-limiting belief systems like I cant do it or Thats definitely not for me or Good things dont happen to me which work against you as a negative belief system.

Create an affirmation that works for you and that is tailored to your own personal goals and desires, and try making them specific in a way you can take affirmative action towards that goal.

Also, it is always helpful to tie affirmations to good values and principles such as loving kindness, honesty, dedication and/or hard work.

So if youre feeling down about your career track and things arent going your way, you can always say something like I love my job and my co-workers, Im productive, and I know I can make a difference.

This both sets the goal and intention of staying the course, working well and ultimately translating that into a rewarding career, promotion or better paycheck.

Be realistic

Bear in mind that affirmations are not a magic bullet, sometimes change doesnt happen at all, and sometimes it doesnt happen immediately, but it can be a catalyst for other things or teach you to appreciate the things that are going well for you.

For example, if youre working out and want to lose weight, your physical structure may never be that of a supermodel, but you can always affirm that you are fitter, stronger, and leaner than before, and youre working towards a healthy lifestyle in general.

Everyone is unique, so focus on what youre good at, affirm that it will work and most importantly work towards that goal consistently and diligently.

Dont forget to throw in a dash of compassion, always be kind to yourself and dont go crazy with ultra positive affirmations like I have 10 million dollars or I am the most beautiful person ever and you should be on the right track.

Most importantly be consistent and make it a daily practice. Try something like its going to be a good day today a couple of times before starting your day, for example.

Daily affirmations can be a great step toward self-improvement, depending on how you use them.

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Daily Affirmations: Great step toward self-improvement & personal success, but it depends on how you do it - The Independent

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Nikki Reed, 34; Derek Hough, 37; Trent Reznor, 57; Craig Ferguson, 60.

Happy Birthday: Put greater emphasis on health and emotional well-being schedule time for relaxation, creative endeavors, personal growth and fitness. Surround yourself with people who put a smile on your face. Call the shots, set the stage for a year filled with self-improvements that make you feel and look your best, and achieve a healthy lifestyle. Romance is on the rise. Your numbers are 9, 12, 21, 26, 33, 38, 42.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Invest in your future. Supplement your qualifications, update your look and prepare to promote what you want to do next. Dont limit what you can do; follow through with your plans. A healthy attitude will prompt others to join your quest. 5 stars

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Consider what others expect of you, and address your responsibilities head-on. Leave nothing to chance or up to others to complete. Keep your money and important papers and passwords tucked away someplace safe. Change what isnt working for you, then move forward. 3 stars

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Participate in something that concerns you. You can make a difference if you speak up and offer concrete solutions. Dont trust anyone promising the impossible or delivering vague responses. Show your willingness to work hard, and youll get the backing you need. 3 stars

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Put on a happy face, even if you find someone irritating. Its amazing what a positive attitude can do when youre faced with cranky people. Pitch in, keep busy and show compassion, and youll make a difference and set an example. 3 stars

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Choose your associates wisely. Listen carefully and be resourceful. Follow through and get the facts. Take responsibility for your actions and words, and live up to your promises. Self-improvement projects will earn compliments. 5 stars

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Open your mind and learn. A change of attitude will give you a new take on an old situation or relationship. Pick up the pace and say whats on your mind. Clearing sensitive issues tactfully will ward off an untimely vendetta. 2 stars

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Open topics of conversation that need addressing. Show compassion, but dont let anyone take advantage of you. Keep your money and possessions tucked away someplace safe. Change things around at home to better suit your needs. Comfort and convenience will pay off. 4 stars

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Call the shots and do things your way. Dont waste time trying to convince others to follow your lead. If someone doesnt like your decisions, give them the freedom to take a different path. Avoid emotional spending. 3 stars

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Distance yourself from people who take you for granted. Put more time and effort into domestic responsibilities and personal growth. Make improvements to your surroundings or clear a space to relax or take on a creative pursuit. 3 stars

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be secretive regarding finances, contracts or medical issues. Focus on changes that improve your lifestyle or drum up worthy connections at networking events. Take better care of your health, and avoid a run-in with a friend or lover. 3 stars

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Youll attract unique people and opportunities, but before deciding to change your life, do your research. If you act on hype alone, disappointment will follow. Know what you are up against, and use your intelligence to outmaneuver anyone who opposes you. 4 stars

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Be careful not to offend someone. Choose your words wisely and concentrate on doing whats right. Unique action will have greater validity than empty promises. Control your emotions, work on yourself and dont try to change others. 2 stars

Birthday Baby: You are charming, playful and friendly. You are demonstrative and generous.

1 star: Avoid conflicts; work behind the scenes. 2 stars: You can accomplish, but dont rely on others. 3 stars: Focus and youll reach your goals. 4 stars: Aim high; start new projects. 5 stars: Nothing can stop you; go for gold.

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Horoscopes May 17, 2022: Trent Reznor, romance is on the rise - The Mercury News

Looking for some coaching? A good coach is likely sitting right in your chair.

Okay, so youre ready to stretch? You want to boost your performance as well as your value in the marketplace? You want to put your career on a more upward trajectory?

Youd love to have one of those highly touted personal coaches. But you find that theyre too expensive? Or unavailable? Or both?

Theres good news. By following the right approach, you can get helpful coaching every day of your life. And at a price you can afford.

The recipe for success can be found in Take Charge of You: How Self-Coaching Can Transform Your Life and Career.

Combining their years of professional coaching experience, David Novak and Jason Goldsmith give you a self-coaching toolkit that includes do-it-yourself exercises, thought-provoking activities, and insightful questions to ponder as you maximize your personal growth and professional development.

Who are these guys? Novak is cofounder and former chief executive and chairman of Yum! Brandsowner of more than 45,000 restaurants including KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. Under his leadership, Yum! grew from a $4 billion to a $32 billion market cap. Goldsmith is performance coach to some of the worlds top athletes, including NBA, MLB, and NFL stars as well as Olympic gold medalists.

No matter where you are in life or in the workplace, here are some insights you can put to immediate use.

Rodger Dean Duncan: Aside from obvious monetary considerations, whats the advantage of hiring yourself to provide coaching on personal growth and professional development issues?

David Novak: The biggest challenge most people face when it comes to getting coaching that can help them grow and improve is that there simply isnt enough good coaching in the world. Daniel Goleman, who wrote Emotional Intelligence, has said that of his six leadership styles, the coaching style is used least often in our high-pressure economy. Leaders feel like they dont have time to coach, and most arent trained to do it well.

David Novak

Right now, a lot of people are looking for a job upgrade. Theyre competing for the best roles at the best companies. For anybody who is looking, showing off your self-coaching skills is a great way to impress a potential employer. Leaders know self-coachers will ease pressure on managers and will get up to speed faster and be more successful in the future.

Even if youre lucky enough to have a good coach in your life or career, taking advantage of the opportunity requires you to have the right mindset and the right self-knowledge. What do you want? What brings you joy? How do you handle setbacks? Answering those questions and being open to feedback and insights from others requires self-coaching work.

Duncan: What are telltale signs that someone is a good candidate for successful self-coaching?

Novak: The most important sign is ambition. That word can get a bad rap, but all it means is wanting a better future. That might mean something better in your career, something better in a personal passion or hobby (I use self-coaching all the time to improve my golf game), or something better in your health or your relationships.

Heres a personal story. I have three fantastic grandkids. My relationship with one of them, Claire, was solid, fine. I wanted it to be amazing. So, I used self-coaching strategies to understand what was getting in the way and what behaviors I could change to deepen our connection. When I did, I realized that she didnt like it when I would tease or joke around with her. Thats my approach to the world, but not hers. So, I told her I would stop, I used strategies to help me stop, and our relationship has become amazing.

If all youre interested in is maintaining the status quo, theres no point to self-coaching. Self-coaching is a method of personal development. To be a candidate, you need to be interested in growth, see the need for it, believe that its possible, and be willing to take action to achieve it. Self-coaching can help you develop this kind of thinking, but you need a foundation.

The fundamental question is, do you want something bad enough to make the changes necessary to get there?

Duncan: If a person decides to engage in self-coaching, what safeguards should be taken to avoid self-deception? In other words, how does one recognize and deal with personal blind spots?

Novak: Developing your self-knowledge is the foundation of self-coaching. The more you work at it, the better you are at recognizing and dealing with blind spots.

Usually, when we come up against a self-deception, its uncomfortable. It makes us feel vulnerable. For instance, thinking about our weaknesses and times when we havent been at our best is uncomfortable. Thinking about moments weve failed is uncomfortable. Retreating from the discomfort is the path to self-deception.

The framework for self-coaching can help you push through it instead. It can help you reframe your thinking about issues you havent wanted to address in a way that makes it possible to tackle them. It helps you be more vulnerable with yourself and encourages you to see the world the way it really is, not how you want it to be. In many ways, its the solution to self-deception.

Duncan: What do you tell someone who wants to engage in self-coaching but doesnt want to go it completely alone?

Novak: Coaching yourself doesnt mean that you should expect to go it alone. The opposite is true. I had good self-coaching skills that I leveraged throughout my career, but I was also fortunate enough to have many amazing coaches who helped me along the way. Self-coaching helps you figure out who you need to learn from and when.

When I first became CEO, my background was weighted toward marketing and operations. I didnt have a lot of experience working with the investment community. So, I used a few contacts and did everything I could to get a meeting with Warren Buffett. I traveled to Omaha, and over lunch I asked him everything I could think of about how to deal with investors and Wall Street analysts, what he would do if he was me, and more. What I learned from his coaching was invaluable.

Developing your self-coaching skills helps you build a coaching mindset, which helps you spot opportunities for growth wherever you are in your career or life. It helps you identify people who can offer the most support and opens your mind to the feedback they offer. It also helps you spot good coaching skills in other people, so youre more likely to find the right person to help you when you need it.

Being a good self-coach can grow your ability to coach others, which improves your ability to coach yourself. Its a virtuous circle.

Duncan: Thanks to so-called motivational speakerswhose message is more high-octane rah rah than realistic advice on personal improvementsome people are skeptical about the notion of self-coaching. How do you persuade them that they really can access their untapped potential?

Novak: Most of us want to grow and improve and achieve our goals. The difference between wanting to and actually doing it is understanding our personal motivation and then turning that motivation into action.

Often, people dont access their untapped potential because they dont know what it is they actually want, what brings them joy. If they do, they dont know what steps to take to get there.

Katy Milkman wrote about our tendency to assume that other people know what we know and think how we think in How to Change. We don't go looking for frameworks or solutions to our action problem because we assume that if we're struggling to make it happen, other people are too. We believe they don't know any more than we do about goal achievement. That's just not true. Some people have turned growth and development into a habit. I have and so has Jason Goldsmith, my partner in this work, and so have all the people Ive learned from and been inspired by over the years.

What most people are missing is a framework that helps them take personalized and necessary steps to bridge the gap between motivation, insight, and action.

Duncan: In starting new paths to self-improvement, you recommend that people identify their joy blockers and joy builders. What exactly are those, and how does identifying them help launch a successful self-improvement journey?

Novak: Joy blockers are simply those things that get in the way of your happiness and enjoyment in work or life. Joy builders are those things that feed it. The important step is to be specific and unapologetic.

When I left Yum! after 16 years as CEO, I had to make a choice about what I was going to do next. I didnt jump onto the obvious next thing. I spent time deeply considering what brought me joy in my work and life. The answers were clear: my family, developing leaders, and golf. The last one might seem like it doesnt deserve equal footing with the first two, buy why hide something that brings you joy? Ive devoted myself to growing and achieving in all three areas and my life is full of joy.

To be motivated enough to put in the effort and energy that growth requires, we have to be working toward something we really want, and the process of getting there needs to generate more joy in our life. Joy feeds our motivation and our confidence that what were doing is working and is worth it.

Duncan: Much is being said these days about mindset. What role does mindset play in navigating the path to self-improvement?

Novak: Mindset is essential, whether youre coaching yourself or being coached by somebody else. We describe the coaching mindset as being open to anything and everything that can drive your growth or progress toward your goal. This takes effort, because the human brain likes to focus on those things that seem certain, not possible. It also focuses on the future, trying to make predictions.

Developing a coaching mindset helps you be more present and calm yourself so you can focus on opportunities all around you. Instead of relying on preconceived notions of what should happen, youre searching for insights. This expanded way of thinking and seeing the world reveals so many opportunities for growth and achievement.

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Duncan: You write about changing nots into not yets. Tell us about that.

Novak: Changing your nots into not yets is the favorite reframing tool of my coauthor Jason Goldsmith. Reframing is an approach to overcoming the tendency to focus on the negative, to get sidetracked by small failures, and to lose confidence. It helps you re-orient yourself to the coaching mindset by looking at setbacks as opportunities for growth and more progress in the future. Anything worth going for will come with challenges.

Thats where not yets come in. When you doubt yourself and start thinking, I cant do this, Jason asks you to add yet to the end of the statement: I cant do thisyet. Cant is absolute, theres nothing more to talk about. But if you havent done something yet, there are more questions to ask, more possibilities to explore.

This is just one of many reframing tools, and we need a lot of them because we fall back on limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging thoughts every day. To return to an earlier question, reframing isnt a method of self-delusion. Its a way of getting to reality-based thinking that isnt overly positive or overly negative. Try this technique now on one of your limiting thoughts. Its incredibly empowering.

Duncan: What seems to be the most common roadblock to personal improvement, and whats the key to getting past that roadblock?

Novak: Our minds are our biggest roadblocks to improvement. With our thoughts and beliefs, we get in our own way. When Jason and I talk about elements of self-coaching that we think are most important, I always turn to joy builders and he always turns to reframing. Theyre both tools of developing a positive orientation to life and our ability to control our future.

Ive had big, public failures in my career. Ive had moments when I was almost fired because I developed tunnel vision. I studied journalism at state university. I never got an MBA. Was I a likely candidate for becoming CEO of one of the largest corporations in the world? No. But thats not how I thought about it. I just kept coaching myself into and through the next opportunity. And before I knew it, I was in that role at only 46 years old.

Thats the power of getting out of your own way, of overcoming the assumptions and predictions that what you want cant happen or will take too much work. If you really want it, its worth it.

Duncan: So, you regard self-coaching as an essential leadership skill?

Novak: Absolutely!

View original post here:
You Really Want To Get Better? Take Charge Of Yourself - Forbes

This feature is coordinated by The Post-Standard/Syracuse.com and InterFaith Works of CNY. Follow this theme and author posted Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Weve established that suffering is the bridge which brings us together. Now we can find our way toward love. If I was lost, standing on a bridge called Suffering, Id get out a map! If the map says that behind me is a town named Ignorance, and ahead of me is a town called Love, Id start walking toward Love. You would too. Were all suffering and Suffering is how we get to Love.

Bell Hooks, author and professor, notes that love is an action word. In her deep dive on love, Hooks studied many great philosophers, including Thomas Merton and Parker Palmer. She notes they viewed love as a verb, an action. Love is a choice, a movement, a path that we walk with others. In newer definitions of love, love is described as personal growth and self-improvement. Those interpretations, by definition, will likely not lead us toward creating community.

Dara Harper, yoga teacher of 25 years, resides in CNY with her partner and two teenagers. She also works in communications at the Central New York Community Foundation.

Originally posted here:
CNY Inspirations: Love is the destination - syracuse.com