1st Judicial District Select Counties in the 1st District Family Law Advice by Phone Low-income people who have a court case in Carver, Dakota or Scott County can get a free 20-minute legal advice consult on family law matters from theVolunteer Lawyers Network. Toschedule an appointment, please call the VLN Intake Line at(612) 752-6677from 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Dakota County The Dakota County Free Legal Clinics Program is offered in partnership through the Dakota County Law Library, Dakota County District Court Administration, and Legal Assistance of Dakota County. Free legal advice clinics are available on family law and consumer law topics such as bankruptcy, debt collection, garnishment, mortgages, foreclosures, landlord-tenant, and Conciliation Court. Volunteer attorneys provide 30-minute consults at the clinics, which are offered at various times and locations. To use the clinics, youmustlive in Dakota County andschedule an appointmentby calling(952) 431-3200. Learn more

Dakota County Law Library also partners with Volunteer Lawyers Network (VLN) for a criminal expungement clinic the fourth Tuesday of each month starting at 1:30 pm. No appointment is necessary for the expungement clinic. Please contact the Dakota County Law Library at 651-438-8080 for more information.

Family Law Advice by Phone Low-income people who have a court case inRamsey County District Courtcan get a free 20-minute legal advice consult on family law matters from theVolunteer Lawyers Network. Toschedule an appointment, please call the VLN Intake Line at(612) 752-6677from 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Criminal Expungement Clinic A free clinic that describes the criminal expungement process and provides help completing the forms for anyone filing an expungement for a criminal case in Ramsey County. The clinic is on the second and fourth Thursday of each month (except holidays) at 1:00 p.m. in theRamsey County Law Libraryon the 18th floor of theRamsey County courthouse.

Domestic Abuse & Harassment Office (Ramsey County) Victims can access resources and get help with the process of getting a courtOrder for Protection.

Housing & Conciliation Court Self-Help Center (brochure) Free legal advice consults with volunteer attorneys are available on afirst-come, first-servedbasis on Tuesdays from 1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. Sign-up starts at 12:00 noon. The advice clinic is located in theRamsey County Law Libraryon the 18th floor of theRamsey County courthouse.

Domestic Abuse Service Center (Hennepin County) Victims can access resources and get help with the process of getting a courtOrder for Protection.

Family Law Advice by Phone Low-income people who have a court case in Hennepin County can get a free 20-minute legal advice consult on family law matters from the Volunteer Lawyers Network. Toschedule an appointment, please call the VLN Intake Line at(612) 752-6677from 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

TheSt. Cloud Public Libraryhosts a free legal advice clinic with a volunteer attorney fromCentral Minnesota Legal Serviceswho offers advice on family law, probate, and real property matters the fourth Tuesday of the month (except legal holidays), from 12:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. Please call(320) 257-4872topre-registerand for more details.

The Long Prairie Public Library hosts a free legal advice clinic for low-income families and individuals with an attorney from Central Minnesota Legal Services who offers advice on family law, child support, social security law, housing and expungement the 4th Monday of the month from 2-4 p.m. Please call 320-257-4855 to pre-register and for more details.

Divorce Law Clinic Legal Aid Society of Northeastern Minnesotais offering a legal education clinic on the fourth Tuesday of each month at 12:00 noon in theCrow Wing County Law Library. These 1-hour classes include information on dealing with custody and property issues as well as court forms and procedures.Legal advice is not providedon individual cases.Learn more

Legal Advice Clinic Volunteer Attorney Programoffers general legal advice and help completing court forms the second Wednesday of each month at 10:30 a.m. in theCrow Wing County courthouse. This is afirst-come, first-servedprogram. No appointments are scheduled.NOTE:Residents from any Minnesota county may use this legal advice clinic.

Family Law Clinic(flyer):One Thursday each month (seeClinic Calendar), people can meet with an attorney on divorce, custody, child support, Orders for Protection, and other family law matters. Please call(763) 422-7487 for an appointment. The law library is on the 1st floor of theAnoka County courthouse.

Housing Law Clinic:On certain Mondays each month (see Clinic Calendar), people can meet with an attorney on eviction, lock-outs, lease violations, and other housing law matters. This is awalk-in servicelocated in theAnoka County Courthouse.

Central Minnesota Legal Servicesoffers a free legal advice clinic with a volunteer attorney on family law, probate, and real property matters the fourth Tuesday of the month (except legal holidays), from 12:00 noon - 1:00 p.m. at theSt. Cloud Public Library. Call(320) 257-4872 to pre-registerand for more details.

Central Minnesota Legal Servicesoffers afree Criminal Expungement Cliniconce a month at theAnoka County Public Library - Rum River location.No pre-registrationis necessary. Call(612) 332-8151for more information.

Washington County Legal Advice Clinic Volunteer attorneys from the Washington County Bar Association offer free 30-minute consults at the Washington County Law Library on civil, criminal and family law issues. To use this clinic, youmustlive in or have a court case in Washington County, and your incomemustbe at or below 300% of theFederal Poverty Guidelines. Pleasecall (651) 430-6330 for an appointment.You may also email lawlibrary@co.washington.mn.usquestions about the advice clinic or law library services. CLINIC HOURS: Civil law: every other Monday, 1:00 p.m. 3:00 p.m. Fill out theclinic intake form. Family law: Tuesday, 1:00 p.m. 3:00 p.m. Fill out theclinic intake form. Criminal law: Wednesday, 10:00 a.m. 12:00 p.m.

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Minnesota Judicial Branch - Self Help Centers

Here you will find forms that are used statewide in Washington Courts. This is not a complete list of all forms. Your Court may have forms you must file in a case. Please check with your local Court to confirm. Additionally, you may want to check the Local Court Rules for forms and for more information. Ending the Marriage Divorce (Dissolution), Legal Separation, Convert Legal Separation to Dissolution, Declaration Concerning Validity of Marriage, Default, Temporary Order to Pay Maintenance, Temporary Restraining Order, Contempt of Court

Third-Party Custody Nonparental Custody

Unmarried Parents Establishing Residential Schedule/Child Support - with Paternity Acknowledgment, Establishing Parentage, Temporary Restraining Order, Contempt of Court, Request Parenting Plan within 2 Years of Parentage Judgment

Parenting Plan/Residential Schedule Temporary Order - Child Visitation (dissolution), Temporary Order - Child Custody, Modification of parenting plan/residential schedule, Guardian Ad Litem

Child Support Temporary Order - Child Support (Dissolution), Temporary Order - Child Support (unmarried), Child Support Modification, Adjustment of Child Support, Child Support Worksheets & WSCSS Schedule, Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA), WA State Self-Support Reserve

Child Relocation Notice of Intended Relocation, Objection to Intended Relocation (Objecting party), Temporary Order (Objecting Party), Temporary Order (Relocating Party) Entering agreed or unopposed parenting plan

Adoption

Juvenile Court Forms Emancipation, Shelter Care Proceedings, Dependency Proceedings, Termination and Reinstatement of Parent-Child Relationship, CHINS/At-Risk Youth, Juvenile Offense - Diversion Agreements, Juvenile Offense proceedings in Juvenile court, Declining Juvenile Court Jurisdiction, Juvenile Court Records, Miscellaneous, Out-Of-Home Placement, Relief from Offender Registration Requirements, Title 13 RCW Guardianship, Truancy, Juvenile Court Forms

Title 11 RCW Guardianship Forms Requesting a Guardianship or Limited Guardianship, Guardianship Court Records, Lay Guardian Training, Appointing Guardian and Activities (1st 90 days), Periodic Reporting, Closing a Guardianship, Miscellaneous Guardianship Complaint Transfer of Guardianship

Financial Bankruptcy, Garnishment, Order of Default, Small Claims

Criminal Law Indigent Defense, Felony Judgment and Sentence, Guilty Plea, Misdemeanor Judgment and Sentencing, Relief from Offender Registration Requirements, Deferred Prosecution, Certificate of Discharge/Provisional Voting Rights, Vacating/Sealing Records, Modify/Rescind Domestic Violence No-Contact Orders, Waive or Reduce interest on LFO

Mental Proceedings Forensic Evaluation and Competency Restoration Orders - 10.77 RCW, Involuntary Civil Commitment Orders - 71.05 RCW, Petition for Initial Detention by Family, Guardian, Conservator

General Appellate Processing Forms, Name Change, Dismissal, Cover Sheets, General Rule 22 Forms, GR33 Request for Reasonable Accommodation GR 34 Request for Waiver of Civil Filing Fees and Surcharges

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Washington State Courts - Court Forms

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A abandonment: When a parent leaves a child without enough care, supervision, support, or parental contact for an excessive period of time.

abrogate: To repeal or cancel an old law using another law or constitutional power.

abstract: A summary of what a court or government agency does.

abstract of judgment Summary of the courts final decision. Can be used as a lien if you file it with the county recorder.

accessory: A person that helps someone else commit a crime, either before or after the crime.

accomplice: A person that helps someone else commit a crime. Can be on purpose or not.

accrual: The total amount of child support payments that you owe or that are late.

accused: The person that is charged with a crime and has to go to criminal court. (See defendant.)

acknowledgment: Saying, testifying, or assuring that something is true. You can say this out loud or write it down.

Acknowledgment of Satisfaction of Judgment: A court form that the judgment creditor must fill out, sign, and file with the court when the judgment is fully paid. If no liens exist, the back of the Notice of Entry of Judgment can be signed and filed with the court. (See judgment creditor, judgment.)

acquittal: When a judge or jury finds that the person on trial is not guilty.

action: In court, when one person sues someone else to:

active status: A case that is in court but isnt "settled" or "decided" has active status. (See disposition, pending.)

adjournment: When a judge hears and decides a case.

adjudication: The judges decision in a case or action.

ad litem: "For this lawsuit." Comes from Latin.

administrative procedure: The way an executive government agency makes and enforces support orders without going to court.

admissible evidence: Evidence that can legally and properly be used in court.

admission: Saying that certain facts are true. But not saying you are guilty. (Compare with confession.)

admonish: To warn, advise, or scold.

admonition to jury: What the judge says to the jury about:

(1) what they must do and how they must behave,

(2) what evidence they can use to make their decision (called "admissible" evidence), and

(3) how they can use that evidence to make a decision.

adoption: The way to make the relationship between a parent and child legal when they are not related by blood.

adversary system: The system of trial practice in the United States and some other countries in which each of the opposing (or "adversary") parties has the opportunity to present and establish opposing positions before the court.

adverse witness: A person called to testify for the other side.

affidavit: A written statement that someone swears to under oath in front of someone that is legally authorized, like a judge or notary public.

affirm: To make a solemn (serious) statement.

affirmation: When an appellate court says that the lower courts decision was right.

affirmative defense: When a defendant or person responding to a civil case has a reason that would make him or her "not guilty" or not at fault and gives the court new evidence to prove that. The defense has to prove what it says (called "burden of proof"). The defense has to explain this defense in their answer.

agent: Someone that has authority to act for another.

Aid to Families With Dependent Children (AFDC): A past government program that used to give money (also called "public assistance") to families with children. This was replaced by Temporary Aid for Needy Families (TANF).

alibi: A defense claim that the accused was somewhere else at the time a crime was committed.

alimony: Money the court orders you to pay to a spouse or ex-spouse. (See spousal support.)

allegation: A statement or claim that is made and hasnt been proved to be true or false.

allege: To say, declare, or charge that something is true even though it isnt proved yet.

alternative dispute resolution (ADR): Methods of resolving disputes without official court proceedings. These methods include mediation and arbitration.

amend: To add to or change a claim that has been filed in court.

amicus curiae: Someone that gives advice to the court about the law in a case, but isnt part of the case. Comes from the Latin for "friend of the court."

annulment ("nullity of marriage"): A legal action that says your marriage was never legally valid because of unsound mind, incest, bigamy, being too young to consent, fraud, force, or physical incapacity.

anonymous: When someones name is kept secret.

answer: A statement that a defendant writes to answer a civil complaint and say what defense they will use.

appeal: When someone that loses at least part of a case asks a higher court (called an "appellate court") to review the decision and say if it was right. This is called "to appeal" or "to take an appeal." The person that appeals is called the "appellant." The other person is called the "appellee."

appearance: Going to court. Or a legal paper that says you will participate in the court process.

appellant: Someone that appeals a courts decision. (Compare with appellee.)

appellate: Having to do with appeals. An appellate court can review a lower courts (called a "trial court" or "superior court") decision. For example, California Courts of Appeal review the decisions of the superior courts.

appellate court: A court that can review how the law was used to decide a case in a lower court.

appellee: A person that answers an appeal in higher court.

arbitration: When a person that isnt involved in the case looks at the evidence, hears the arguments, and makes a decision. (Compare with mediation and neutral evaluation.)

arraignment: When a person that is accused of committing a crime is:

arrearage: Child support that is overdue or unpaid. A parent that has arrearages is "in arrears."

arrest: The legal capture of a person that is charged with a crime.

ascertained: Proved to be true.

assault: When someone tries or threatens to hurt you. Can include violence, but is not battery. (See battery.)

assignee: A person or business that is put in the place of the original creditor, such as a collection agency. You can assign your judgment to another person or business.

assignment: Choosing someone to do something. Usually used in:

(1) Cases when the court uses a calendar to give (or "assign") cases to judges;

(2) Lawyers when lawyers are chosen (or "appointed") to represent juveniles, conservatees, or poor defendants; and

(3) Judges when judges are sent (or "assigned") to different courts to fill in while other judges are on vacation, sick, etc., or to help with cases in a court.

assignment of support rights: When a person that gets public assistance (money from the government) agrees to give the state any child support they get in the future. The person gets money and other benefits from the state. So the state can use part of the child support to pay for the cost of that public assistance.

assignment order: A court order (made after a motion) that says a judgment debtor must assign certain rights to the judgment creditor. Useful for payments that the judgment debtor would usually get, like rent from tenants, wages from the federal government, sales commissions, royalties, a businesss accounts receivable, or installment payments on IOUs (also called "promissory notes") or judgments.

at-issue memorandum: A legal paper filed in a civil case that says the case is ready to go to trial. (See memorandum to set.)

attachment: (1) Document attached to court papers to give more information; (2) A way to collect a judgment: by getting a court order that says you can take a piece of property.

attorney: Someone that is qualified to represent clients in court and to give them legal advice. (See counsel and lawyer.)

attorney of record: The lawyer whose name is listed in a case record as representing someone in the case.

audit: When records or accounts are looked at to check that they are right and complete.

automated administrative enforcement of interstate (AEI) cases: Part of the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act (PRWORA) that lets states find, put a lien on, and take property from people in a different state that owe money.

automated voice response (AVR) system: Phone system that gives information to people over the phone.

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B

backlog: All the cases that havent been settled or decided in the time the law says they should be.

bail: A security deposit (usually money) given to release a defendant or witness from custody and to make sure that they go to court when theyre supposed to.

bail bond: A legal paper that you buy from a bondsman and give to the court instead of bail. The defendant signs it and is let go. But if they dont come to court when theyre supposed to, they must pay the amount of money on the bail bond.

bail exoneration: When you get your bail back. Or when a bail bondsman or insurance ("surety") company isnt responsible for your bail anymore.

bail forfeiture: A court order to let the court keep the bail deposit because the defendant didnt go to court when they were supposed to.

bail notice: A legal paper from the court that says the court will make a warrant for arrest unless the defendant goes to court or pays bail.

bail receipt: A written statement that the court gives a defendant that says bail was paid.

bail schedule: A list of the amount of bail that is recommended for different charges. In criminal cases, the court decides how much bail a defendant has to pay to be released.

bailiff: A person that is in charge of security in the court. Bailiffs are picked by sheriffs or marshals.

bank levy: Way to enforce a decision against someone that owes money. The money is taken from their checking or savings account at a bank, savings and loan, thrift institution, or credit union.

bankruptcy: The legal way for a business or person to get help when they cant pay the money they owe. In bankruptcy court, they can get rid of debts by paying part of what they owe. There are special bankruptcy judges at these hearings.

bar: All of the lawyers qualified to practice law. For example, a state bar includes all of the lawyers qualified to practice law in that state.

battery: Illegal beating or physical violence or control of a person without their permission. (Compare with assault.)

behavior intervention plan: Plan made by a local educational agency (LEA), as part of the individualized education program (IEP), to change the behavior of students that hurt themselves, assault others, or are destructive.

bench: (1) The desk where a judge sits in court;

(2) Judges in general or a specific judge.

bench trial: Trial without a jury. The judge decides the case.

bench warrant: An order given by the judge (or "bench") to arrest a person. (See warrant, writ.)

best interest of the child: the standard that courts use to decide who will take care of the child. Some of the factors courts look at are: the age of the child, the health of the child, the emotional ties between the parents and the child, the ability of the parents to care for the child, and the child's ties to school, home, and the community.

bifurcation: to separate the legal issues in a case. For example, sometimes spouses or domestic partners cannot agree on all the issues in a divorce and it is holding up the divorce itself. The parties may want to move ahead with ending the marital status or domestic partnership while other issues remain to be resolved. To do this, a party can ask for a bifurcation of marital/partnership status. This means that the court makes a decision on ending your marriage or domestic partnership while other issues remain open and to be decided. Click to learn how to ask for a bifurcation in a divorce or legal separation case.

bind: To make yourself or someone else legally responsible for something.

bind over: A judges decision before a trial that says there is enough evidence for a trial.

blocked account: An account with a financial institution in which money or securities are placed. No person may withdraw funds from a blocked account without the court's permission.

blood test: Testing someones blood sample to:

(1) see how much of a certain chemical is in the blood, or

(2) see who is the parent of a child. (See genetic testing.)

bona fide: Sincere, real, without fraud or deceit. Comes from the Latin for "in good faith."

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Self-Help Glossary - selfhelp

A trusted non-profit guide to mental health and well-being

HelpGuide is a trusted non-profit with over 200 science-based articles and other resources to help you overcome mental and emotional challenges, improve all your relationshipsand much more.

Dealing with Depression: You cant beat depression with sheer willpower, but you can make a huge dent with simple lifestyle changes and other coping tips. The steps may seem small, but theyll quickly add up. Learn how to get started today. MORE

How to Stop Worrying: Are you plagued by anxious thoughts and near-constant worries? Learn self-help strategies that can help you stay calm, stop obsessing over what-ifs, accept uncertainty, and break the habit of chronic worrying. MORE

How to Start Exercising and Stick to It: You dont have to spend hours in a gym or force yourself into monotonous activities you hate to experience the benefits of exercise. Here are easy and fun ways to add more physical activity into your daily life. MORE

Choosing Healthy Fats: Despite what you may have been told, not all fats are bad guys in the waistline wars. The answer for a healthy diet isnt to cut out the fatits to replace bad fats with the good ones that promote health and well-being. MORE

How to Sleep Better: The cure for sleep difficulties can often be found in your daily routine. Your sleep schedule, bedtime habits, and day-to-day lifestyle choices can make an enormous difference to the quality of your nightly rest. MORE

Managing Conflicts with Humor: Weve all heard that laughter is the best medicine, and its true. Laughter relieves stress, elevates mood, enhances creativity, and makes you more resilient. Its also good for your relationships. MORE

A program, rooted in brain science, that changes your relationship with troublesome feelings, helps nurture meaningful connections, and build lasting happiness. MORE

The Ride the Wild Horse Meditation is the cornerstone of the Emotional Intelligence Toolkit This app provides an enhanced audio player for practicing the meditations either with or without an Internet connection. MORE

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HelpGuide Overview

This website is a service for people who are seeking information about DBT (Dialectal Behavior Therapy).

This site was written primarily by PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH DBT, not DBT professionals. For this reason, consider the source of any given document. We cannot give advice, but we can talk about our experiences on our DBT journey. In this regard, I hope we can help one another.

If you are looking for a DBT provider in your area, you can also click here, to view resources set up before the above database.

If you are in a crisis, please dial 911. The website owner is legally unable to advise.

Site visitors,Thank you for supporting this website for the past 11 years. Because of your input, exchange of information and donations, you are making a difference in the lives of many people. - Lisa

Everyday DBT is a mix of the most requested information as well as my thoughts on ways to keep DBT alive in our day-to-day work.

Well Said! Articles about DBT, Mental Health, BPD and related materials. This section represents some of my favorite internet authors whose writing is both helpful and conversational.

DBT Video Text is an unofficial text from videos by Marsha Linehan describing DBT skills. You can purchase the videos at this link to Behavioral Tech LLC.

The BPD Tool New!A fun visual method for learning the DBT skills. The group also includes training and coaching. In this section, youll find a few examples from their website. Additionally, they have just published a fun and useful DBT Quick Reference Card that is free to download!

Diary Cards Find a variety of Diary card formats that you can download and adapt to your needs as well as an explanation about the purpose of the cards and practical ways to use them.

DBT Skills (defined) This is a brief overview of the skills. In-depth explanations will return soon.

Connecting Skills This section is a list of ALL THE DBT SKILLS with links to every document on this website where there is more information about the skill! It is very useful for navigating this website and improving your understanding of the skills.

Questions and Answers Email conversations about the many aspects of trying to use DBT skills in daily life. Some of the topics are: being effective, feeling good, invalidating environments and judgmental people.

Elf Help Abbey Press gave permission to reprint parts of the their Elf Help books. Their size and simplicity is deceiving. They have a lot to say despite their few words and pictures. A real joy to have on hand.

11/10/15 Corrections made to Donation ButtonsRecently, anyone who made a donation to the website had their money returned back to them due to a technical glitch in the system with PayPal. I apologize for the inconvenience. It has now been repaired. Your donations are VERY important to the daily functioning of this website. Believe me when I say that each cent is used to keep the website live and helping as many as possible. Thank you for your understanding.

HEADS UP TO ADVERTISERS:

I havent forgotten about you. Im working to create my first fair business tracking model for this website. It was always my wish that that the site could be supported by donations alone. I am adapting to circumstances as we all must do. I appreciate you patience.

Dealing with DepressionI woke up one day and realized because my brain injury causes me not to be able to feel time, I had a sense of oppression every morning because most people immediately get up and know where they are in time - what they did yesterday, what day it is and what they will do today relative to their long and short term goals whether they be grand or simple. Since time is one to me, my first sensation is okay and my second is a realization of the existence of time and it is immediately oppressive. . . Read More *****************************************I so appreciate the love and support and condolences sent to me by many of you over the passing of my son last year. Your thoughts and prayers have made a big difference in my life.

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET THAT THIS SITE IS IN GREAT NEED OF DONATIONS TO SUPPORT THE COSTS OF RUNNING IT. While I am working on turning to ads, it is more complex than I imagined.

Please note the new Worldwide DBT Provider Directory on the left. This is the first test of this database created in partnership with GoodTherapy.org. Please give the widget a try andplease send mean emailif you would like to make any comments or suggestions or if you have difficulties or questions. We will consider your ideas before the final directory widget is established. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

If you are a DBT provider and would like to sign up to be in the directory (please note the new code is TRIAL602015DBT),click herefor instructions. Or, in January, if you have requested to be on the update list or have made previous email contact, you will receive an email invitation and special for becoming part of what I hope will soon be an invaluable tool to the many, many potential DBT clients who would like to participate in a DBT program or work with a DBT Therapist.

I know it's so easy to think:THE DBTSELFHELP WEBSITE IS SO IMPORTANT, I'M SURE THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF OTHER PEOPLE TO DONATE.

You might be surprised thatYOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCEif you're willing to be responsible for making it work

PLEASE BE PART OF THE SOLUTION!!!!

Make DBTSelfHelpYOURwebsite by taking personal responsibility to keep it Alive!

I have many plans for this website in 2015,click hereto learn more.

DBT Lessons were created by myself and other DBT participants based on our experiences of practicing the DBT skills.

Instant Mindfulness Movies These very popular custom flash movies are aimed at helping people become more aware of the moment, calming the soul, changing mind states, or outlining the basics of a DBT skill, the following topics are currently available:Be Mindful of BreathBe Mindful of Feet Be Mindful of Hands River Rock Mindfulness Be a Tree (the most popular!)Radical Acceptance Wave of Emotions Turning the Mind Visual Encouragement Be a Flower

BTW: NOAH Says HI! (-:

The fiber artwork featured in the banner was created by the site owner, Lisa Dietz. Click here to view a few more of her relevant artwork representing her struggle to overcome BPD.

Author Articles The author of this website shares some personal experiences about using DBT as well as essays about dealing with suffering.

Click here if you need printing instructions

I recommend the following books for anyone who has BPD, their families and professionals. Author and fellow BPD recoverer, Kiera Van Gelder has written an amazing insightful memoir called The Buddha and the Borderline. For more information on Kiera and the book, click here.

The Facts: Borderline Personality Disorder by Roy Krawitz and Wendy Jackson was written by both a client and professional. The writing is very clear and accessible.

Flash Cards There are several types of flash cards to help remind you of the DBT skills. Recently added are the cards I used as a participant with a way to print your own.

For a Site Map, click here.

This website was last updated on 5/15/15.

. . .(from above)I have begun the update on this siteand you can look forward to new elements including a link to theFull DBT Skills Definitionsin handout formats with all original language. Additionally, a DBT Participant Point of View version defining the skills in a way that someone diagnosed with a mental illness who has worked through the DBT program might describe it.

For Example: Radical Acceptance: accepting something whether you like it or not. You do not have to agree with it, you just have to know that there is nothing more you can do about it so complaining or being disagreeable with everyone will not help to make the situation any better. Youre better off, at least for now, to let go of the heavy emotions and dramatic outbursts associated with it so that you might gain a temporary stasus of peace until something changes.

A small example would be how irritated it might make you feel everytime your boyfriend picks up a can of soda and takes a drink then sets it back down and always has to go AHHH, YEAH, like it was some orgasmic experience. Really? Every drink? Come on! You just want to, like, flick a bugger in his mouth or something before he can do the big AHHH. But you know that if you did it would be super gross and the two of you have already argued about it and hes looking at you with a frown that says go on, say something one more time. THIS is a good time to practice Radical Acceptance.

Ask yourself if it is worth jeapardizing your relationship over something so small. Ask yourself if you are capable of being a big girl now that you are approaching 30 and might try a Distraction Skill instead of acting like a spoiled teenager because your big girl self knows that aggressive behavior is not effective when you are really, under everything, seeking love.

Believe in yourself. You can do it! (End of Example)

Also,DBT in Spanishwill soon be available from the DBT course files of Rayencura Clinica in Santiago, Chile. In the meantime, you can downloada zipfile of the docments.

On The JourneyandDBT Artistsare new upcoming sections expressing the creative writing and artwork of DBT participants. When it is ready, I will let you know how to contribute. Plus I have already written 3 new scripts forInstant Mindfulness Flash Movies.

Further, I am working on a Handheld Retro DBT Self Help Packagethat you will be able to order. It will contain many parts of the website printed on paper as well as a workbook with worksheets to accompany appropriate areas. It will have a CD of the movies. There will be bookmarks and flashcards and funky reminders with affirmations, elf help and other encouragements printed on them. Plus, it will include a baggie of DBT Fun Stuff (because DBT really should be fun!). What is fun stuff? Rocks and beads that remind you to breathe, frogs that stare at you reminding you NOT to judge, goofy feeling balls that you can fidget with during class. You know.

Also in the works for 2015 are more reviews in theInstant Access DBT section where you will find some great new DBT Mobile Apps including Diary Cards!.

Wondering what THE EMOTIONAL EXTREMISTS GUIDE TO HANDLING CARTOON ELEPHANTS is all about? Very soon you will find out and be able to purchase the book from this website or even enter a contest to win a free copy!

The whole site will have a new look and feel. I thought I had that going in high gear, but I suddenly got downshifted. Nevertheless, it will happen. FEAR NOT. As if you are all sitting around with bated breath waiting for my next updates. I may be slow. Okay, I AM slow to get things done, but they always get done, eventually, even if it is a year or two later. (you would be slow too if you had a brain injury and had to work on this site in your SPARE (LOL, LOL) time AFTER your REAL work - the one you have to make money at.

Last on this list, but first to get on the site will be TONS MORE RESOURCES!!!! And I mean TONS! I have SO MANY new DBT providers all over the world to tell you about! And new DBT books. Dare I say it, FUN TO READ DBT books! The resources will grow like the sands on the beach, Grasshopper!

So I came up with this idea of "going with the flow." (I did not really come up with it - I have heard the expression, I just came up with the application.) I decided not to care about time except in the places where I absolutely had to - going to appointments and meting deadlines. Since I always have way more to do than I can possibly manage every day no matter what and thus the sensation of overwhelm is sure to cause me anxiety, well if I just do whatever FEELS right about what comes next and fully participate in that activity at least I will do something and do it without expending so much anxious energy (with the hope that I would have more energy for the overall day).

No matter what, it couldn't be any worse than just feeling so oppressed and overwhelmed that I just go back to bed and do NOTHING. Then I'm certain to get nowhere. And lately, with the usual holiday stress, I've been finding myself doing that more and more.

So far, it seems to work really well. Then I realized, I really didn't need a brain injury to decide to do this. Everyone feels overwhelm and life really is better if you can participate in the moment in whatever you're doing and spend less time making decisions about what to do next on the basis of the clock which causes anxiety about timelines. This sense of BEING one with the Universe is less about trying to do or think or accomplish anything. Its more like the feeling I have during the one weekend a month I have with my grandson. I cherish the time so much that nothing seems as important as playing with him.

When I stop living by the rules of time, I have permission to be fascinated by it all, even if it isnt play. I have permission to feel the warm water on my skin when I do dishes. And when someone is talking to me and really freaking out and trying to get a rise out of me, I have permission to say, I am sorry, I just cant talk right now. Its hard to describe. You just have to try it. . . or not, its up to you.

Excerpt from:
DBT Self Help

Amazon.com Review

Trying to "change" negative thoughts through cognitive gymnastics is like trying to win a war single-handedly. Why waste a life trying the impossible? In Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, advocate Dr. Steven Hayes escorts the mildly depressed, angry, and anxiety prone through a new approach to handling suffering--universal human suffering caused by language's illusions. Rather than fighting off bad thoughts and feelings with internal pep talks, Hayes beautifully explains how to embrace those pessimistic and foreboding mental voices (much like welcoming home one's cranky, play-worn children), "defuse" them with respectful attention, and commit to leading a purposeful life that includes their occasional ranting.

Intriguing exercises help readers identify their core struggles, parse these into manageable pieces, and develop effective ways to move beyond rumination. The work progresses easily, thanks to Hayes' engaging style and his grace in coaching readers. Critics of cognitive and behavioral therapies will warm to Hayes' logical explanations of language's pitfalls (even language used by other therapeutic approaches); his sometimes goofy--but surprisingly effective--exercises; well-timed etymology lessons; and his uncanny ability to predict and skillfully address reader reactions throughout the workbook. Ironically, the path to life clocks many hours in the mind; plan to dedicate an intensive month of introspection to this program. Anyone who has been accused of thinking too much, who begrudges compliments, pines for a different life, or feels trapped at a mental dead end can benefit from Hayes' superior guidance.--Liane Thomas

Dr. Steven Hayes answers a few questions about his book, and describes how his research was inspired by his own struggles with panic and anxiety.

Questions for Steven Hayes

Amazon.com: Can you give us a lay person's primer on acceptance and commitment therapy?

Steven Hayes: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is based on a rather remarkable fact: when normal problem solving skills are applied to psychologically painful thoughts or feelings, suffering often increases. Our research program has shown this in thousands of patients, in almost every area of human suffering. Fortunately, we have discovered why this is and we have developed some ways of correcting it.

The basic research underlying ACT shows that entanglement with your own mind leads automatically to experiential avoidance: the tendency to try first to remove or change negative thoughts and feelings as a method of life enhancement. This attempted sequence makes negative thoughts and feelings more central, important, and fearsome--and often decreasing the ability to be flexible, effective, and happy.

The trick that traps us is that these unhelpful mental processes are fed by agreement OR disagreement. Your mind is like a person who has to be right about everything. If you know any people like that you know that they are excited when you agree with them but they can be even more excited and energized when you argue with them! Minds are like that. So what do you do?

ACT teaches you what to do. I will say what that is, but readers need to understand that these mere words will not be useful in and of themselves. Minds are too clever for that! That is why the book has so many exercises and why we have a free discussion group on line for people working through the book (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/). What ACT teaches is acceptance of emotions, mindful awareness of thoughts, contact with a transcendent sense of self, and action based on chosen values. This constellation of skills has shown itself in controlled research to help with an amazingly large range of problems, from anxiety to managing the challenges of physical disease, from depression, to stopping smoking.

Amazon.com: Some of this work is said to have come from your own battles with anxiety and panic. How did these ideas apply to your own struggles?

Steven Hayes: It was my own panic disorder that first put me on to the problem we have now confirmed in our research. My panic disorder began a little over 25 years ago. I watched in horror as it grew rapidly, simply by applying my normal problem solving skills to it. Anxiety felt awful and seemingly made it impossible to function, so it was obvious to me that I first needed to get rid of it before my life would improve. I tried lots of things to do that. But this very effort meant I had to constantly evaluate my level of anxiety, and fearfully check to see if it was going up or down as a result of my efforts. As a result, anxiety quickly became the central focus of my life. Anxiety itself became something to be anxious about, and meanwhile life was put on hold.

After two or three years of this I'd had enough. I began to experiment with acceptance, mindfulness, and valued action instead of detecting, disputing, and changing my insides.

I remember a moment that symbolizes the change in direction. In the middle of a panic attack, with a guttural scream like you hear in the movies, I literally shouted out loud to my own mind. "You can make me feel pain, you can make me feel anxiety," I yelled. "But you cannot make me turn away from my own experience."

It has not been a smooth path and it was several years before anxiety itself was obviously way down (getting it to go down was no longer my purpose, remember, but ironically when you stop trying to make it happen, often it does), but almost immediately life opened up again. ACT is the result of over 20 years of research, following the lead this provided.

Amazon.com: You are a language researcher and chapter two of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life is called "Why Language Leads to Suffering." Can you tell us why you suggest that language is a source of human suffering?

Steven Hayes: Human language (by that I mean our symbolic abilities generally) is central to effective human cognition. It evolved to keep us from starving or being eaten--and it has done a pretty good job of that.

The key to symbolic processes is the ability to relate events in new and arbitrary ways. Our research program has shown this ability even in 14 month old babies, and we now know it comes from direct training from parents and others as part of normal language development. It is a wonderful skill. It allows us to imagine futures that have never been, and to compare situations that have never actually been experienced. That is the every essence of human verbal problem solving.

But that same process has a downside for human beings. For example, it allows us to fear things we have never experienced (e.g., death). It allows us to run from the past or compare the dull present to a fantasized future and to be unhappy as a result. And in my case it lead to the common sense but ultimately unhelpful idea that I needed to get rid of anxiety before I could live well.

We get a lot of training in how to develop and use our minds, but we get very little training in how to step out of the mental chatter when that is needed. As a result, this mental tool begins to use us. It will even claim to BE us. The overextension of human language and cognition, I believe, is at the core of the vast majority of human suffering in the developed world and human technology (the media) is only amplifying the problem by exposing us to an ever increasing stream of symbols and images. Learning how to get out of your mind and into your life when you need to do that is an essential skill in the modern world.

This manual, firmly based on cutting-edge psychological science and theory, details an innovative and rapidly growing approach that can provide you with the power to transform your very experience of life. Highly recommended for all of us. David H. Barlow, professor of psychology, research professor of psychiatry, and director of the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University.

This is the quintessential workbook on acceptance and commitment therapy. Written with wit, clinical wisdom, and compassionate skepticism, it succeeds in showing us that, paradoxically, there is great therapeutic value in going out of our minds. Once released from the struggle with thought, we are free to discover that a life of meaning and value is closer at hand than thought allowed. This book will serve patients, therapists, researchers, and educators looking for an elegant exposition of the nuts and bolts of this exciting approach. Zindel V. Segal, Ph.D., the Morgan Firestone Chair in Psychotherapy and professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Toronto and author of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression.

This book is a user-friendly tool for clinicians who may be looking for adjunct handouts for clients with a wide variety of issues. Exercises found within can help deepen, structure, or guide experiences contacted in session. As a stand-alone self-help book, it brings to light the guiding principles that make ACT such an empowering approach. I highly recommend this book to clinicians and laypeople alike. Sandra Georgescu, Psy.D., assistant professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

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