Author Jenna Lisa Lobos provides 52 tips to help readers change physically, emotionally and spiritually in 'Love Your Body Love Your Life'

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif., Jan. 28, 2020 /PRNewswire-PRWeb/ --Former radio host and author Jenna Lisa Lobos recently published her book: "Love Your Body Love Your Life: 52 Tips That Will Radically Improve Your Health." This expansive self-help book establishes a road map for readers to find confidence in their own skin. With tips to take care of their inner body (physically, emotionally and spiritually), this book helps transform readers from the inside to change how they face the world outwardly.

Developed as a guide that doubles as a memoir, "Love Your Body Love Your Life" includes Lobos' own transformative journey of letting go of negativity in her life and developing a deeper, more intimate connection with herself. With a focus not only on physical changes but also on emotional and spiritual changes, this book helps to foster monumental, authentic growth into the lives of those who read it.

"'Love Your Body Love Your Life' started as a blog and newsletter that I developed as I was growing my organic skincare line," Lobos said. "I wanted to help readers change their lives from the inside with health and wellness tips that were easy to follow and encouraged their inner beauty to rise to the surface."

Along with the 52 tips that Lobos includes in "Love Your Body Love Your Life," she also has her own beauty ritual which is a daily practice that readers can easily follow. It is broken down into "morning," "during the day" and "evening" practices. There are also bonus tips for beautiful skin and a recipe for a green smoothie for readers to continue to focus on their physical health.

"Love Your Body Love Your Life: 52 Tips That Will Radically Improve Your Health" By Jenna Lisa Lobos ISBN: 978-1-4525-1664-6 (softcover); 978-1-4525-1665-3 (electronic) Available at the Balboa Press Online Bookstore, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

About the author Jenna Lisa Lobos is a certified health practitioner and the founder of BeautyMarkOrganics. She is the former host of Love Your Body Love Your Life Radio Show featured on iHeartRadio. She recently launched her podcast: Jenna Lisa. Her goal is to help women heal themselves from the inside to the outside. She works primarily from the teachings of B.E.S.T. (Bio-Energetic Synchronization Techniques). Also, she is certified under Touchstone for Life. To learn more, please visit her website: http://www.jennalobos.com/.

For Interview Requests & Review Copies, Please Contact: LAVIDGE Phoenix Krista Tillman 480-648-7560 ktillman@lavidge.com

SOURCE LAVIDGE

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Learn How to Heal Your Beauty From the Inside Out With New Self-Help Book - Yahoo Finance

28 January 2020

Wilson Elser Moskowitz Edelman & Dicker LLP

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Eric Benson (Associate-White Plains) is listed among the contributors to the "Self Help Asylum Guide: Seeking Protection in the United States," published by the Refugee and Human Rights Clinic (RHRC) at the University of Maine School of Law and the Immigrant Legal Advocacy Project, in collaboration with the Penn State Law in University Park Center for Immigrants' Rights Clinic and Thrive International Programs. The guide provides information to assist individuals who are applying for asylum pro se or without the assistance of an attorney. The immigration legal system is complex and navigating it on one's own behalf can be challenging. This guide seeks to aid the increasing number of families and individuals that want to apply for asylum.

Read the Guide.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

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Self Help Asylum Guide: Seeking Protection In The United States - Mondaq News Alerts

Jan. 29, 2020, 6:17 PM UTC

Evan McGonagill, 31, had a very different vision of her life.

She imagined that shed be living in Philadelphia, where she was building a career in university library archives. She planned to climb the ladder in her field and then perhaps go to graduate school.

But a visit to her mothers house in Boston changed all of that.

[My mother] had always been the record keeper in the family. She had done everything with our finances, said McGonagill. But when I visitedI was knee-deep in papers in two rooms. It was just a sea of scrambled records.

McGonagill didnt know that her mother, who and in her 70s, had been suffering from major neurocognitive disorder, a precursor to Alzheimers. Her mother had been forgetting to pay bills. Debt collectors and scammers were calling.

McGonagill decided to live with her mother for a few months to get her on track. A few months turned into several when her parents had to divorce, sell their house and move into different apartments.

The end of the caregiving never came. Its been two years since McGonagill moved in with her mom in a Brighton, Mass. apartment, and her fathers health is now fading, too. She schleps them both to appointments and manages her mothers medications and the household.

McGonagill let her job grant expire and didnt seek further employment in Philadelphia. Shes held a rotating set of odd, flexible gigs while her parents insurancethankfullypaid for their medical and assistive care. In turn, McGonagill has had to put her career on the backburner.

Ive never had a moment to get myself to set up in a different professional network, McGonagill told Know Your Value. Ive been in survival mode for two years, putting out fires constantly, moving my mom from the house to an apartment, hiring someone else to help. Its been full-time.

McGonagills situation is very common. Northwestern University found that up to 80 percent of older adults are cared for at home by family. More than half of caregivers are also employed.

And according to the National Alliance on Caregiving, 60 percent of caregivers are women, but the proportion of men who caregive (40 percent) is rapidly growing.

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Since 1993, the U.S. has mandated that employers must grant 12 weeks of unpaid family leave. However, this protection only affects companies with 50 employees or more (so, 60 percent of the workforce) and the majority of caretakers cannot afford to take this time off. Six states - Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey, Washington state and Washington D.C. - currently mandate some paid family leave.

Meanwhile, 43 million Americans work as unpaid family caregivers, according to the AARP. The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine found that 8.5 million caregivers are caring for a high-needs adult, meaning the adult has dementia and/or they need help with two or more daily self-care activities, such as bathing or dressing.

The same study found that caregiving is rarely short-term; 70 percent of caregivers surveyed had been in their positions already between two and 10 years. About half of caregivers do so out of obligation, be it cultural or due to specific family issues. Caregivers are likelier than non-caregivers to suffer from anxiety, depression, social isolation and financial loss.

As a result, there are a lot self-identification problems, said C. Grace Whiting, president and CEO of the National Alliance on Caregiving. What the research has said is people resist self-identifying as caregivers because its more like a second job than a true vocation. Theres a concern that the caregiving relationship is going to take over your life and replace other identities you have that are important to you. Then of course, theres the existential worry that your family member is dying.

In Vermont, Cathy McWilliam, 59, has been a caretaker for multiple elder members of her family for seven years. A hairstylist, McWilliam always imagined opening a salon of her own after her kids left the house. Her caregiving schedule, however, meant that she needed to continue her track of freelancing with a flexible schedule.

Im self-employed, and I can control my own thing, McWilliam said. But I always thought Id have my own building and the whole dream.

McWilliam said that she has suffered mentally and physically from being on-call 24-7 for her mother, who has dementia.

I wake up with heart palpitations, panic attacks, arrhythmia, said McWilliam. Im more forgetful.

Until the RAISE Family Caregiving Act passed in 2018, there was no official federal language around unpaid family caregiving. Priorities of the act include improving financial security and workplace issues for families, respite care options, and family planning throughout the U.S.

However, the law is in its infancy. The data is difficult to collect, according to the NASEM study, due to murky definitions of caregiving and a lack of official metrics. Caregivers are still not officially recognized by the U.S. health care system, thereby denying them rights to resources or information about the dependent.

According to Whiting, the lack of education and cultural discussion around caretaking means that many people are often caught financially and logistically unprepared.

Id love to see us get to a place where we talk about caregiving as a normal part of our lives, said Whiting. Having conversations early and often about what does it look like, asking If youre 80, mom, what do you want your life to look like? People are uncomfortable talking about it at first, but the more you talk about it the more its destigmatized.

In the meantime, more companies are open to remote, flexible employees. Sue Bhatia founded the staffing agency Rose International, which places thousands of contingency workers or project-based workers into jobs, ranging from $12 to $300 an hour. Rose International connects employers with potential contingency workers and negotiates their rates and flexibility. Women make up 65 percent of her workforce.

There is a huge demand for skilled workers, Bhatia said. Because of this huge demand, employers are willing to work with people who have a good skill set and soft skill set, its hard to find people who are eager to change and learn, so employers are more flexible in that regard. People can relate to a lot of these caregiving situations, and because of that, they're flexible. Humanization is happening

Bhatia said she placed one IT employee who had to take her mother to chemotherapy treatment frequently. This woman would bring her laptop and work while her mother underwent the treatments, Bhatia said.

As long as the persons good, its in everybodys interest to be flexible, said Bhatia. Mostly people who contingent workers are experienced. Theyre there because their skill set is unique and hard to find...Anyone who is a self-learner and can learn things themselves, take a couple of courses online - there are ways to gather skill sets. especially if people are ready to take responsibility for their own career.

Mary Pembleton is a rare person who made full-time caregiving work as a job. She was studying nursing when her grandfather fell ill. Due to his veteran status, Pembleton was able to get paid as a full-time caregiver for him, while also staying home with her children. After he passed away four years later, Pembleton started pursuing a writing career. She published a story about caregiving in the New York Times.

Im a natural caregiver and I love it, so it actually worked out quite well, said Pembleton.

Pembleton suggested carving out time for yourself and your own family in order to get through the harder times. Whiting said that caretakers should turn to support groups in hospitals, through specific agencies like the Cancer Society, or online. Exercise self-care, and a positive attitude wherever possible, Whiting said.

Make sure you have plenty to celebrate as a family, so that when you have a tough day, you can withdraw a happy memory from the emotional bank so to speak, so you can say this is a really hard day but I love my mom and weve done happy things recently, Whiting said

Whiting also argued that there is a very bright side to caregiving that we often ignore.

Theres so much out there about the challenges of caregiving, you just think thats a drag. Theres a richness there, of being able to celebrate someone and take care of someone you love...to be there with someone through these difficult situations, Whiting said. Its not just the drudgery of it. Theres a compelling human need to caregive.

Link:
Caregiving, or career? The choice no woman should have to make - NBC News

Aurora has been given permission by California regulators to transport passengers in its self-driving vehicles,TechCrunch has learned.

TheCalifornia Public Utilities Commission granted Aurora a permit, which was posted on its website Wednesday, to participate in the states Autonomous Vehicle Passenger Service pilot. Aurora confirmed the approval.

This permit lets us give rides powered by the Aurora Driver and shows that were committed to being good partners to California and the Commission, an Aurora spokesperson said when asked about the permit.

The company didnt provide more details about when it might start letting passengers in its vehicles. And based on the companys focus, its likely this wont be a broad robotaxi service.

Aurora has never planned to operate a robotaxi service. Instead, it has focused on building the self-driving stack and working with partners to integrate into vehicle platforms. The Aurora Driver, as the company calls it, has been integrated into six vehicle platforms from several manufacturers, including sedans, SUVs, minivans, commercial vans and Class 8 trucks. These integrations are not commercially available.

Aurora, which has operations in Pittsburgh, Palo Alto and San Francisco, has a fleet of about a dozen self-driving vehicles that are used for testing on public roads. The company started testing its self-driving system in Chrysler Pacifica minivans and has said it will continue to grow this fleet over the next year.

Aurora attracted attention early on because of the pedigree of its three founders Sterling Anderson, Drew Bagnell and Chris Urmson who had led self-driving vehicle programs at Google, Tesla and Uber. In February 2019, the company raised more than $530 million in a Series B round led by Sequoia Capital and includes significant investment from Amazon and T. Rowe Price Associates.The monster round pushed Auroras valuation to more than $2.5 billion. It has raised more than $620 million to date.

The approval from CPUC is different than the permits issued by the California Department of Motor Vehicles to test self-driving vehicles in the state. Today, 65 companies have a DMV permit to test self-driving vehicles on public roads in the state.

Only four other companies, AutoX, Pony.ai, Waymo and Zoox, have CPUC permits. Zoox was the first company to receive a permit in December 2018.

The CPUC permit gives Aurora permission to use its self-driving vehicles to transport people. The permit comes with a few caveats. Companies issued the permits cannot charge for rides a rule that AV developers are lobbying to get changed and the vehicles must have safety drivers behind the wheel. Companies must also have the testing permit from the DMV.

Auroras permit, which lasts until January 2023, requires the company to provide reports to CPUC with information on total passenger miles traveled and safety protocols.

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Aurora can now give the public rides in its self-driving cars - TechCrunch

Theres nothing like a good nights sleep to give your body and mind what it needs to tackle the day.

In fact, according to a study by the Better Sleep Council (BSC), getting good shut-eye may even affect your financial health.

Data from the State of Americas Sleep study found that the best sleepers in America are those who plan ahead and are financially comfortable. It reports that good sleepers are nearly two times more likely to regularly save for retirement, unforeseen medical expenses, or both.

It does not surprise me that there is a positive relationship between good financial practices and sound sleep. I like to say that managing our money is an important self-care activity. Learning to manage our cash flow and investments and understanding the relationship between the two is important, Ed Coambs, a financial therapist in Matthews, North Carolina, told Healthline.

On the flip side, the study revealed that financially stressed people fall into the worst sleepers in America category. Of those self-rated poor sleepers, close to two-thirds are concerned about their financial future. More than half live paycheck to paycheck.

Sleep and stress enjoy a very bidirectional relationship. Obviously, its hard to fall asleep and stay asleep when youre stressed, but sufficient sleep provides us with resilience, and we can tolerate higher stress levels much better when were well rested, Terry Cralle, registered nurse and sleep expert at BSC, told Healthline.

We can approach financial issues better and step back and look at things in our life that may not be optimal and how to make them better, but we have to have sufficient sleep to do that, she said.

Once you put sleep at the top of your to-do list, Cralle says the following tips can help keep quality sleep a priority.

Cralle says our bodies crave consistency.

We always say children do better with schedules, and so do adults. When we have that consistency, we are more likely to get sufficient sleep. Your body knows what to expect, and you fall into a better rhythm, she said.

This means foregoing sleeping in on weekends.

We dont want to undersleep during the week and rely on sleeping more on the weekends because we dont know that the damage can be undone from undersleeping during the week, Cralle said.

BSC tip: Avoid staying up late paying bills. Pay them in the morning when youre more focused.

Although you might feel like youre too busy to fit in 8 hours of sleep, Cralle advises rethinking your view.

When we get sufficient sleep, we do more and do it better. So, you can say you have so much to do that you need to cut back on sleep, but thats the wrong way to think about it, Cralle said.

This is true in the context of finances, too, she adds.

Sleep deprivation has a lot of psychological effects on us. When sleep-deprived, we dont have good judgement, take risks, and have poor decision making, which can impact your finances. Think about how casinos dont have clocks, because the more tired we get, the more risks we take, Cralle said.

The phrase sleep on it is old advice but good advice.

BSC tip: Consider setting up automatic payments to save time on paying bills.

Cralle says you should stop using screens at least an hour before you go to bed because the blue light from screens disrupts sleep. Additionally, noise and lights from shows are meant to be stimulating.

Cutting back can be done gradually.

I understand theres a transition time and we need relaxation time before sleep. I suggest swapping something for screen time. Do you like coloring or knitting or reading or puzzles? Save something you enjoy for bedtime and reward yourself with it, she said.

BSC tip: Avoid online banking before bedtime to eliminate screen time.

Talking about finances at night is setting yourself up for failure, Cralle says.

Any conversations at night about stress-related issues, such as finances, wont get you anywhere. When we are sleep-deprived, we are acting like someone who is intoxicated. Were not thinking straight, and we have to approach these topics in a rational, logical, reasonable manner, and thats with sufficient sleep under our belts, Cralle said.

BSC tip: Save talks about paying bills, debt, and saving for your childs college fund for the morning.

Taking measures to keep out light and noise and maintain an ideal sleeping temperature can help ensure you get a good nights sleep. Cralle says investing in a comfortable sleep surface is the best measure you can take.

I like to say the mattress is the most important furniture in the house, Cralle said.

BSC tip: Visit BetterSleep.org for tips on how to create the ideal bedroom for sleep.

While Coambs agrees that getting adequate sleep can have a positive effect on your financial situation, he says other behavior changes are needed.

He notes the best way to improve your financial situation is to understand what underlying issues stop you from making change.

When I work with clients around financial anxiety, I am inquiring about their personal experiences with money, especially ones from their childhood. Early childhood experiences with money often set important and foundational ideas about money. Our self-concept is developing right alongside our understanding of money, he said.

When people take time to reflect on their experiences with money from childhood, Coambs says they can start to identify forgotten money messages that turned into rules about how to manage money.

He uses the example of a grandpa giving his grandchild a $100 bill for their birthday while sternly telling the child, Dont blow it all in one place.

The child hears the fear, intimidation, and implied shame of blowing it, and it starts a foundation of financial anxiety of blowing it with money. Likely there are more than one of these experiences, but it is [these] subtle but important experiences that build our financial templates, Coambs said.

Changing financial patterns involves more than making a budget or setting savings goals.

It is to increase our money awareness and the way that we experience money. Without changing our relationship to money, it is going to be very hard to make and maintain these other health-promoting behaviors of budgeting, saving, and investing, Coambs said.

At a deeper level, he says if you have underlying issues with your self-concept, which can be negatively affected by inadequate caregiving during childhood, then its necessary to work on understanding and healing your sense of self.

We have to let go of simple understandings of money to get to the more complex and dynamic elements of our financial lives, Coambs said. Working with our financial lives is a slow and sometimes disorienting process that in time improves our quality of life.

Cathy Cassata is a freelance writer who specializes in stories about health, mental health, and human behavior. She has a knack for writing with emotion and connecting with readers in an insightful and engaging way. Read more of her work here.

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How Financial Stress Affects Your Sleep Quality and 6 Ways to Fight It - Healthline

IN MEMORIAM

In recent decades, there has been a concern that psychiatry has been following a bio-bio-bio model rather than the traditional bio-psycho-social one. The passing of some elder psychiatrists in the past year demonstrate that loveand psychiatry and psychiatristscan be many splendored things, as the song goes. Here are some models to prove that point.

An Alter Ego: James Newman, MD

Although I did not know Dr Newman, even though he worked in my hometown of Chicago, I almost felt I was reading what my own obituary might be when I learned of his death at the age of 77 on November 1, 2019.

His career was devoted to community psychiatry and, in particular, he worked in the behemoth Cook County health system. He started, as I did, by going into military service after training, in his case the Flathead Indian Reservation in Montana. After he came to Chicago, he tried to practice eclectically, the way I was trained too, using medication, psychoanalytic principles, and what is now called cognitive behavioral therapy. As research has always confirmed, he knew even without it that the therapeutic relationship came first.

Knowing the importance of community and the psychiatrist being active in the community, he was also an activist for social justice issues ranging from anti-war activities to more humane treatment of immigrants. Close to his death, he joined a rally for addressing climate instability.

The Criminalization of Persons With Mental Illness: H. Richard Lamb, MD

Dr Lamb is another community psychiatrist who died recently. He focused on different areas than Dr Newman, reflecting the diverse opportunities within community psychiatry. His career was mainly in academic psychiatry and, reflective of that, he was a prolific writer. He attemded Yale Medical School and became a Professor at the University of Southern California where I had my internship year.

He, early on, by the 1970s, recognized the unexpected negative major side effects of deinstitutionalization. He wrote and talked about the ensuing criminalization of persons with mental illness and homelessness due to inadequate resources in the community. For this work, he received many awards, including the Arnold L. Van Ameringen Award in Psychiatric Rehabilitation from the American Psychiatric Association in 1998.

A Protean Author: Theodore Isaac Rubin, MD

I only came to know the work of Dr Rubin a year ago when I was asked to edit the upcoming book on Anti-Semitism and Psychiatry for Springer International. In researching what previous psychiatrists had written, I found Dr Rubins book, Anti-Semitism: A Disease of the Mind - A Psychiatrist Explores the Psychodynamics of a Symbol Sickness (1990, Continuum). Nothing major was written about the subject in ensuing decades, probably because it was erroneously assumed Anti-Semitism had disappeared.

I later found out how wide-ranging his psychoanalytic interests and writings were. He definitely got up from his chair to go out into society. He wrote the novella Lise and David, which was adapted in an Academy Award-nominated movie about teenagers in love in a therapeutic school. He became a public figure on TV and wrote not only a variety of self-help books, but also about his own shortcomings, such as The Thin Book by a Formerly Fat Psychiatrist. So much for the old psychoanalytic recommendations to be anonymous! He died at the age of 95.

A Father of Psychopharmacology: Donald Klein, MD

We go from the psychoanalyst Dr Rubin to the psychopharmacologist Donald Klein, MD, who died at the age of 80 on August 7, 2019. Actually, Dr Klein appreciated psychodynamics too. Anti-Semitism came up in a different way in his life, reportedly limiting his possibilities to get into medical school. He first had to get into a graduate school for a year before being accepted. Perhaps that graduate program in biochemistry and physiology was a blessing in disguise, paving the way for his conclusion that some psychiatric problems could be treated with medication rather than the psychotherapy of the 1950s.

He recognized and appreciated the unexpected surprise that a so-called antidepressant could help anxiety. He then looked backward to see if the effectiveness of medications could be dissected into something common which underlined different symptoms. He wrote not only for other psychiatrists, but for the public and patients.

The Challenger: Richard Green, MD, JD

Dr Green was an early force for homosexual and transgender rights, in and outside of psychiatry. It was also a surprise to many that he did so though he was heterosexual. So much for the common assumption that it always takes one to one know one, whether that is in regard to sexuality, gender, ethnicity, or illness. No, it takes great empathy, curiosity, and a heart of compassion. He was one of the leaders to remove homosexuality from the APAs diagnostic manuals.

Later in his career he even added a law degree in order to help address adverse laws for those being discriminated against. (Given that my father and sister were both lawyers, I also toyed with the same idea, but never pulled it off.) He participated in a case against the Boy Scouts to bar a homosexual man from becoming an assistant scoutmaster; in a case to prove that lesbian mothers should have custody rights; and that gay men should be able to co-adopt children.

Dr Green extended child visitation rights to transgender people and he was an early advocate for them. I learned much from his work when I became a medical director for a clinic specializing in transgender patients. All these barriers and more that he attempted to remove were eventually torn down.

He was also a prolific writer in all his causes, culminating in his last book: Gay Rights, Trans Rights: A Psychiatrist/Lawyers 50-Year Battle (2018). He died on April 6, 2017 at the age of 82.

Cant Help Falling in Love: Marta Muller, MD

As I was finishing these eulogies, I serendipitously, and unfortunately, heard of another, right here in my hometown of Milwaukee. Maybe that fit Dr Muller's early life, hiding and moving from one place to another as a child survivor of the Holocaust. She had a Jewish mother and Christian father.

She eventually came to Milwaukee to be one of the three women in the medical school class at Marquette, the predecessor to the Medical College of Wisconsin (where I spent the last part of my career).

Perhaps also not surprising, given her early years, she specialized in the treatment of trauma. Impressively, she focused on inner city youth well before this became a city-wide project in Milwaukee and other cities. Her goal was to desensitize these youth to help them cope. She also organized support groups for traumatized families, such as those of loved ones killed by Jeffrey Dahmer, and also worked to with the Milwaukee Bucks to reduce the stress of shooting free throws.

No wonder, too, that she died on Christmas Day, 2019, at the age of 78. At her memorial service, Elvis Presleys song, Cant Help Falling in Love is played.

Final thoughts

In these six portraits, we hopefully illustrate more of the many splendors of psychiatry and to love what these particular psychiatrists accomplished in their lifetimes. Of course, there are many others. Let us know if you come up with anyone else: Write us at [emailprotected].

Disclosures:

About the author

Dr Moffic is an editorial board member and regular contributor to Psychiatric Times. He was a tenured Professor at the Medical College of Wisconsin until he retired in 2012. Since then he has functioned as a private community psychiatrist providing pro bono services locally, nationally, and internationally. Currently, Dr Moffic is focused on four major advocacy initiatives: physician burnout, climate instability, Islamophobia, and Anti-Semitism. He is co-editor of Combating Physician Burnout: A Guide for Psychiatrists, with Sheila LoboPrabhu, Richard F. Summers, and Sheila Loboprabhu.

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Psychiatry in All Its Splendor - Psychiatric Times

Don't let sadness overwhelm you.

If you struggle to achieve authentic happiness, you're not alone. Everyone feels bad sometimes, but it's important to learn how to feel better and actually understand why you feel like you can't be happy.

The key to a true pursuit of happiness lies in practicing self-care and that means more than occasionally getting a mani-pedi. It's how you practice good mental health and protect your emotions.

RELATED: How To Totally Master The Art Of Being Happy In 6 Steps (Or Less!)

Today, lets talk about how to feel better, right away, without having to book a trip to Tahiti or win the lotto.

Whether youre going through a rough spot in your relationship, going through a breakup or you just want to shake off a case of the blues, you may be struggling to feel better.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you feel better fast so you can feel happy again:

Looking at the wall when youre racing a car will lead you to slam right into that wall. The first step in becoming happier and lighter is to notice your emotional starting point.

I speak from experience when I say that feeling fear, doubt, and lack will wreck everything you care about. If you start allowing fear into your relationships, you will ruin everything.

Thats why the first step after youre aware of a negative emotion is to allow the emotion and then talk yourself down. Whether something has happened to trigger it or not, talk yourself through the negativity.

Your life goes where your mind goes. Same with your relationship. If youre constantly afraid theyre going to leave you, youre going to act unattractively and youll drive them away.

If youre going around thinking about how unfulfilled youre feeling or how youre not getting your needs met, guess what youre going to get more of the condition of not having your needs met.

Just like when you buy a blue car and suddenly youre seeing them everywhere. We can get metaphysical and woo-woo about this or not, but its a truth whatever you focus on, youll get more of.

But youve got to start catching yourself before you can change it.

RELATED: Have Everything You Want Except For True Happiness? These 3 Tips Can Help You Get There

If your default emotions are negative, youre going to get more negativity and lack. Instead, start looking forward and think about what you really want.

So often in life, you're just reacting, not thinking about how to have a peak experience of any kind, or considering what you actually might want.

You have a thought or feeling and just go with that rather than actually stopping to logically consider what you want and where you actually want to go. Something happens, we feel hurt and we try to move away from that hurt. Or we do something, it doesnt feel the way we expected, so we run.

This reactive position might get us temporarily away from pain, but its a sidebar path that doesnt have a goal attached. Instead of acting, were reacting.

Instead, move your focus to achieve that, rather than whatever fleeting feeling youre having at the moment. If youre feeling unfulfilled, dwelling on that is counterproductive. Want to feel fulfilled? Do fulfilling actions. Move toward fulfillment instead of away from a negative feeling.

That leads me to the next point. Since wide-sweeping change is usually not a one day process, youll have to stick with this.

Think about going to the gym. If you want to get fitter or stronger, you cant simply look at a picture of a fitness model and say, That, snap your fingers and have it appear, right?

Its the same with feeling better. Reward yourself for maintaining a positive mindset while youre having that mindset.

Back to the gym example, if you darken the door of the gym and show up, be excited about showing up.

Make the success about showing up. If you keep showing up, you add to the chain and build self-esteem around what youre trying to improve.

RELATED: 5 Small Things You Can Do To Make Your Job More Enjoyable & Be Happier At Work

Elizabeth Stone is a dating and personal development coach. Find out more by getting yourself a free copy of her book, Why Men Lose Interest and free daily (almost) email series.

This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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How To Be Happy Using Psychological Self-Care Activities That Will Help You Feel Better Fast | Elizabeth Stone - YourTango

More beguiling to Chayka are artists who have no interest in directing the lives of others. He writes about Agnes Martinwho considered herself an Abstract Expressionist but whose poised, transcendent paintings have been claimed for Minimalismand Walter De Maria, whose installation The New York Earth Room, a field of dirt in a mostly empty white space, has been quietly confounding people in SoHo since 1977. He visits Donald Judds 100 Untitled Works in Mill Aluminum, in Marfa, Texas, which defies any attempt to ascribe emotional meaning to itthe aluminum boxes are just there, Chayka writes, empty of content except for the sheer fact of their physical presence, obdurate and silent, explaining nothing and with nothing to explain. Such a sculpture might sound deathly boring, more math problem than artwork, but, as you walk through the exhibit, with the desert sun setting the silvery containers alight, they become a constant affirmation of the simple possibility of sensation. Elsewhere in the book, he writes about the philosopher Keiji Nishitani, who described ikebana, the Japanese art of flower arranging, as a practice that links beauty to ephemerality and death.

These are the models for a deeper, more honest, less self-centered minimalism, Chayka believes: a way of living that makes simple things more complicated, not the other way around. Still, he is not immune to shallower forms of the aesthetic. When he flies to Tokyo, hoping to understand concepts like mono no awarethe Japanese idea of sensitivity to impermanencethe first thing he encounters is the stark, white, dehumanized Airbnb where he will be staying. Despite his intent to critique, he is being catered to, sometimes successfully. A developer puts up a condo building across the street from his Brooklyn apartment, and stages one of its units as an Instagram-ready tableau of white bed, white nightstand, white table, white kitchen cabinets, visible through big windows. Chayka admits, grudgingly, that the place looks stylish.

The Brooklyn apartment and the Tokyo Airbnb are examples of a style that Chayka has called AirSpace, a term he coined in 2016, in a piece for the Verge, to describe the look of cafs, co-working spaces, and short-term rental apartments all over the globe. I cant say no to a tasteful, clean, modern life space, he wrote then. But, he added, thinking through its roots and negative implications makes me reconsider my attachment. Chaykas writing tends to center on phenomena that conjure aspiration, emptiness, and emotional distance: as a journalist, hes covered luxury cryptocurrency, the blandly appealing life-style magazine Kinfolk, and the streetwear brand Supreme. The Longing for Less revisits earlier essays and reporting on the Minimalists, the Japanese philosopher Shz Kuki, and Marie Kondo.

His dual response to the all-white apartment is one of the only moments in The Longing for Less when Chayka acknowledges his attraction to superficial minimalism, but that attraction pulses throughout the book. The writing has a careful tastefulness that occasionally conforms to what Chayka, in a different context, calls the house style of the non-place and the generic city. The table of contents is presented as four pristine boxes, with high-toned, one-word chapter titlesReduction, Emptiness, Silence, Shadowarranged in a perfect grid. Each chapter is subdivided into eight sections, and Chayka suggests that The Longing for Less might be wandered through in the manner of an art exhibit, that the blank spaces between contrasting examples will generate unexpected lessons. (Chaykas reporting on Supreme, which was published by Racked, was also organized by a gridded table of contents, guiding readers to considerations of Hype, Japan, and Fandom, among other subjects.)

Nonfiction forms that rely on the generative potential of white space, like poetry and the lyric essay, require a distinct forcefulness of voice and vision to succeed; in its absence, this kind of mannered subtlety can be frustrating. Most of the sections in The Longing for Less end on a glancing note of epiphany, such as Simplicity doesnt have to be an end pointit can lead to new beginnings, which is the last line of a paragraph two-thirds of the way through the book.

In a way, Chaykas book replicates the conflict hes attempting to uncoverbetween the security and cleanliness of a frictionless affect and the necessity of friction for uncovering truth. He does have moments of productive discomfort: outside the concert hall where John Cage dbuted 4'33", he wanders for four and a half minutes of silence in honor of Cages blank composition, and finds himself disappointed by the mundane sounds of leaf blowers and airplanes, before becoming unexpectedly attuned to the gentle sound of a hidden stream. He goes to the Guggenheim to hear Erik Saties proto-minimalist composition Vexations, an experiment in extreme monotony, and it proves intolerable, creating a jarring awareness of the often inadequate here and now. But Chayka best conveys the unnerving existential confrontation that minimalism can create in his capsule biographies of figures such as Julius Eastman, the composer who used minimalist structures as a means of asserting personal dissonance. In the nineteen-eighties, Eastman began living, on and off, in Tompkins Square Park; he wrote music on the subway and gave his compositions away in bars. Explaining the titles of his pieces Crazy Nigger and Evil Nigger, Eastman said, What I mean by niggers is that thing which is fundamental, that person or thing that attains to a basicness, a fundamentalness, and eschews that thing which is superficial or, what can we say, elegant.

True minimalism, Chayka insists, is not about consuming the right things or throwing out the wrong; its about challenging your deepest beliefs in an attempt to engage with things as they are, to not shy away from reality or its lack of answers. I suspect that some recent converts to minimalism have already come to this conclusion. Underneath the vision of less as an optimized life style lies the path to something stranger and more profound: a mode of living that strips away protective barriers and heightens the miracle of human presence, and the urgency, today, of what that miracle entails.

The self-help minimalists say that keeping expenses low and purchases to a minimum can help create a life that is clear and streamlined. This practice can also lead to the conclusion that there is not only too much stuff in your apartment but too much stuff in the worldthat there is, you might say, an epidemic of overproduction. If you did say this, you would be quoting Karl Marx, who declared that this was the case in 1848, when he and Friedrich Engels published The Communist Manifesto. Comparing a society that has conjured up such gigantic means of production and of exchange to the sorcerer who is no longer able to control the powers of the nether world whom he has called up by his spells, they contended that there was too much means of subsistence, too much industry, too much commerce. Hence, they suggested, the boom-and-bust cycle of capitalism, which brings the periodic destruction of a mass of productive forcesas, perhaps, we experienced in 2008, before the rise of Kondo and company.

Todays most popular minimalists do not mention Marx. Sometimes they address the importance of freeing oneself from the dictates of the market. In Goodbye, Things, Sasaki writes about the importance of figuring out your minimum required monthly income, and encourages readers to consider the environmental consequences of their life styles. Millburn and Nicodemus write about the joy that comes from choosing to earn less money, even if they avoid discussing the more common situation of having your wages kept low against your will. But they also assure their audience that capitalism is not brokenwe are. They insist that theres nothing wrong with earning a shedload of moneyits just that the money doesnt matter if youre not happy with who youve become in the process. Even these sincere prophets of anti-consumerism are hesitant to conclude that the excessive purchasing of stuff may be a symptom of larger structural problems, or that a life built around maximum accumulation may be not only insufficiently conducive to happiness but actually, morally bad.

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The Pitfalls and the Potential of the New Minimalism - The New Yorker

Rachit Kushwahas Behind the Dreams online show offers self-help advice from successful immigrants living in New Zealand

The entrepreneur aims to build the ultimate free self-help educational resource for immigrants

An entrepreneur, storyteller, video creator and a visionary Rachit Kushwahas online show Behind the Dreams is an excellent free resource for any immigrant looking for guidance and support to become successful in New Zealand.

The 27-year-old came to New Zealand three years ago to start a new and better life. When Rachit started his journey, those feelings of helplessness, anxious, powerless were the biggest catalysts for him to create Behind the Dreams show. It will provide an excellent resource for the newcomers and for those who are struggling with their career and settlement prospects in New Zealand. Behind the Dreams is a platform that is made for the migrants, by the migrants and its all about the migrants. Rachits vision is to share the story, knowledge, strategies, skills and ideas of successful people living in New Zealand, so the immigrants who are still struggling in their career or life could take inspiration and guidance to move forward.

You can follow Behind the Dreams platform on:

Facebook: http://bit.ly/BTD_

Instagram: http://bit.ly/BTD_IG

The show currently has three episodes out, which range roughly from 20-30 minutes each. All the guests in the show are the people who have made a big name for themselves in their respective industries and have moved to the country in the past ten years. Rachit aims to interview 50 more leaders in different industries this year, making sure when an immigrant visits their website, he/she gains ample knowledge about:

Various career options available in the country

How to build a mindset for success

Have a good idea about how to successfully apply for a job

New ideas/strategies to acquire a dream job

How to fast-track your career

Everyday struggles faced by immigrants

Most of the interviews consist of detailed discussion about various issues faced by immigrants in a new country or New Zealand and how they can overcome them. The topics discussed in the first three episodes were:

How to get a promotion at your current job & how to negotiate your salary

Common mistakes immigrants make when applying for jobs in NZ

Mindset preparations & initial struggles

Suggestions for the students who have just graduated

Qualities a person needs to run a restaurant business in NZ

Advice for people who want to pursue a hospitality career

Struggles faced by the restaurant owners while building a restaurant business in New Zealand

Within just launching the platform four months ago, the show has gained a lot of attention from the immigrant community in New Zealand and Australia. Here are a few comments of the viewers who are following the platform on Facebook.

Viewers of 'Behind the Dreams' show gives a five-star rating for its quality content, Rachits great interviewing style and advice given by the people who have already tested the waters. People are raving about the show and have recommended migrants to take advantage shows original and new content to help them achieve success in their careers.

Rachit has also been dedicatedly involved in the community work for Indians in New Zealand. He created the Biggest Indian Meetup group in NZ where Kiwi-Indians can engage with each other in a positive and supportive way.

The Indian Auckland Meetup is specifically for people who are willing to meet like-minded people, have fun, celebrate festivals, share problems and celebrate who we are on foreign land, Rachit says.

The most recent meet-up event was held on Sunday, January 19, which was attended by 95 people at Cornwall Park in the morning. This meet-up event had people from different age groups and walks of life who came to the event with homemade food, mixed and mingled with each other and had a great time together.

The concept behind such meet up was to break the ice, get to know one another, and yes Facebook is a great medium to make friends, but nothing makes more impact when you meet someone new in person and get to know them, Rachit added.

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Rachit Kushwaha's 'Behind the Dreams' online show offers self-help advice from successful immigrants living in New Zealand - Indian Weekender

StyleSeat helps you snag impossible beauty appointments--even after hours--while also boosting ... [+] stylists revenue. From left to right: Hawa Fallay, StyleSeat founder and CEO Melody McCloskey, Jefferson Mosquera, Misty Spinney, Manee Ramos and Shayne Rocha

You may not have heard of StyleSeat, but it is quietly transforming Americas salons. It has already powered over $6.5 billion in revenue for beauty professionals and secured a loyal following of the countrys leading hair, makeup and nail stylists. Now the company is setting its sights on its newest target: you.

Beauty professionals are artists who dont always have the time to think about running their business or maximizing revenue, said StyleSeat founder and CEO Melody McCloskey. We handle these tasks for the most talented stylists in the country, and weve brought them together onto one platform. Our next big opportunity is to transform how clients find these incredible professionals.

Since its founding in 2011, StyleSeat has powered 150 million beauty appointments in 16,000 cities across the US. Stylists love the platform because it grows their revenue by automating tasks like appointment reminders and payments while dramatically increasing revenue; most beauty professionals double their revenue after their first year on the platform. 75 percent of these beauty professionals are women, and 50 percent of them are people of color.

McCloskey, who has raised $40 million from top-tier investors like Ashton Kutcher, Jeremy Liew, Jason Calcanis, Travis Kalanick, and Sophia Bush, shared whats next for the company. If you think about it, booking at a hair salon hasnt changed in 50 years. We can order a car to our house and buy groceries from our phone, but 92% of appointments in the US are booked via text message and phone tag. StyleSeat is completely re-imagining the salon booking and payment process. Theres so much opportunity for improvement. It feels like were building the first app in the app store, explained McCloskey.

To help consumers find the best stylist for them, StyleSeat starts with client reviews. Its the equivalent of reading Yelp or TripAdvisor before going on a trip. Theyve also rolled out a referral program, a loyalty program and gift cards to drive additional high-quality customers to beauty professionals. For the more indecisive among us or those people with specific needs relating to travel or a special event, StyleSeat even offers a complimentary white glove concierge program to help customers find exactly what theyre looking for.

The company also recently launched a feature called Smart Pricing. If a customer wants to come in before a salon opens or after hours, they can request an appointment and offer to pay more. Similarly, if a customer wants to see an in-demand stylist but doesnt want to pay top dollar, they can book an appointment during a low-demand period and save money. Stylists who have limited time slots maximize revenue, and clients have a higher chance of getting the time they want.

Additionally, StyleSeat offers notifications to consumers when appointments open up last minute so they dont have to wait months to see an in-demand stylist. This way beauty professionals maximize the value of each appointment and minimize time staring at an empty chair. Consumers gain increased access to even the most hard-to-book stylists while getting to choose whether to prioritize time or convenience. Smart pricing requires sophisticated engineering work, which led McCloskey to explain her team size and infrastructure. About half the 75-person company works in engineering, and many of those teams are distributed. In other words, they work remotely from their homes across the United States. Distributed teams are the new best practice for leading startups because they enable you to hire the most passionate, mission-oriented and talented team members wherever they live, from San Francisco to Cleveland to Florida, explained McCloskey who added that it takes a lot of structure, planning and communication to make distributed workforces work.

For example, the company livestreams meetings into key team gathering spaces so remote employees feel as though they are working in an open office at the San Francisco headquarters, plus all employees convene in person for a week of annual planning so they can collaborate and build relationships that carry them through the year.

McCloskey finds that these to things are what keeps her motivated after all these years. Two things. First, Im so passionate about supporting these amazingly talented artists. For too long theyve been ignored by tech; Im honored to support them. Second, theres nothing better as a consumer than finding a beauty professional who makes you feel like your best self. Were all about helping consumers feel inspired and practice self-care, said McCloskey. Weve created a business model that works for everyone: We only win when our beauty professionals and consumers win. Knowing were making a positive difference in their lives drives me every day to work harder and smarter on their behalf.

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Beauty Marketplace StyleSeat Is A Stylists Best Friend. Now Itll Be Yours, Too - Forbes