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Archive for the ‘Self-Awareness’ Category

Why The Apple Card Could Make You Spend More – Forbes

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The Apple Card offers immediate gratification when it comes to rewards. (Photo Illustration by ... [+] Rafael Henrique/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

In addition to being made out of titanium and arriving in laptop-like packaging, the new Apple Card stands out for letting cardholders earn immediate rewards, dubbed Daily Cash.

Unlike many other credit cards, where rewards typically post after one or two billing cycles, the Apple Card lets you see and access your accumulating rewards daily via your iPhone.

While it sounds convenient, that immediate gratification also comes with a downside: It could lead you to spend more, according to behavioral economists.

It can be very easy to go overboard [with rewards], says Lisa Kramer, a finance professor specializing in behavioral economics at the University of Toronto. Of the Apple Card rewards and their immediacy, she says: Its so much more salient and easy to respond in a way thats impulsive, but that may not be in your best financial interest.

Ted Mann, chief executive of Slyce, a tech startup focused on visual search and image recognition, certainly noticed the immediacy when he started using the Apple Card shortly after it came out.

I started to see the cash show up in the Wallet every day, you get a buck or two. Thats definitely gotten me to want to use Apple Pay more for just about anything, he says.

Apple Pay is the mobile wallet on your iPhone, and indeed the Apple Card incentivizes the use of that wallet, offering 2% to 3% back on purchases made via Apple Pay. (Theres a physical version of the card, too, but it earns only 1% back.)

While Mann says he isnt necessarily spending more because of the Daily Cash accumulations, he is using Apple Pay more to get those elevated rewards.

Manns other credit cards also earn rewards, he says, but I never see the rewards. My wife redeems them a couple times a year to book a family vacation, but otherwise, Im never aware of them, so the Apple Cash ones seem far more effective, he says.

Seeing rewards accumulate daily on your phone makes them more visible compared with seeing them on a monthly statement, says David Gal, professor of marketing at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

People like the immediate feeling of reward, he notes.

But Gal cautions that such a feature can potentially lead to more spending than you initially intended. And this can be problematic given that credit card rewards in general are relatively small compared with the spending required to earn them.

For example, in the case of the Apple Cards highest rewards tier, youd have to spend $1,000 just to earn $30 back in rewards. The cards ongoing APR is variable but can range as high as 20% or more. So if youre routinely blowing your budget just to see your rewards tick higher and youre unable to pay your balance in full each month, it can cost you more in interest than youre collecting in rewards.

If youre not currently setting budgets ahead of your shopping trips, its a good habit to develop.

If we operate in a world where we dont set budgetary limits, then its easy to spend more than we intend, Kramer says. But if were explicit in advance about what those spending limits are, it can be helpful, she says.

For those who have trouble sticking with those budgets? Signing up for spending alerts or notifications when you reach a certain limit can also temper spending, she adds.

But prevention can start even earlier. Kramer suggests self-awareness as a first defense. Understanding how your brain is responding to rewards can help you step back and make a different, more informed choice. With the Apple Card, for instance, you could choose to ignore the accumulating Daily Cash and check in just once a month, as you might with a typical rewards card.

Ultimately, if you know the allure of such instant rewards will tempt you to overspend, you may want to turn off your phone when you enter a store or leave it behind entirely and stick with cash or a debit card.

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Why The Apple Card Could Make You Spend More - Forbes

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:48 am

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‘High-risk’ prisoner stabbed fellow inmate in the throat with makeshift knife – Mirror Online

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A "high-risk" prisoner slashed another inmate's throat with an improvised knife, a court has heard.

Daniel Illingworth, 28, was serving a sentence at Prison Holme House in Stockton-on-Tees, County Durham, when he attacked fellow prisoner Stephen Holman.

He hid a blade melted into the handle of a toothbrush and launched the assault when the men left their cells for their evening meal at the jail.

Illingworth walked from his cell wearing shorts, which is not allowed in the prison during mealtimes, and refused to go back to change when an officer instructed him to do so.

He walked towards Holman, jumped on his back and appeared to push him, Teesside Crown Court heard.

Prosecutor Rachel Masters said a prison officer saw at least two blows as she shouted at him to stop and activated alarm bells, Teesside Live reports.

Ms Masters said: "As she got closer, she could see in his hand what looked like a white plastic handled implement, something like a toothbrush or cutlery handle.

"Distinctively it had a blade on the end of it."

The officer backed off and asked Illingworth to go back to his cell to drop the weapon, which he did.

Holman suffered three wounds across his throat, to the lower right of his chin and behind his ear, which were treated with glue and strips.

He said he did not know why the attack happened.

The assault, just before 5pm on July 13 last year, was captured on CCTV footage which was played to a judge.

Illingworth, whose address was listed in court as Holme House Prison, initially said he did not know anything about the violence.

He said he had severe mental health problems and claimed Holman injured himself.

He later admitted wounding with intent to do grievous bodily harm.

Illingworth was given a 10-year sentence for robbery in 2011 and for wounding with intent, wounding and unauthorised possession of a knife in prison in 2018.

He committed the latest assault just three months after receiving the 2018 sentence.

David Comb, mitigating, said Illingworth had a "complex psychiatric and social background".

He said a report referred to Illingworth's mobility in prison and his "sense of humiliation, compounded by his personality and hypersensitivity as well as paranoid misinterpretation".

A psychiatrist suggested Illingworth posed a high risk of future violence.

Judge Stephen Ashurst told Illingworth: "You took the blade to his face and neck.

"In the event the injury sustained by Stephen Holman were a good deal less serious than it might otherwise have been.

"But your position, I'm afraid, is made serious by your dreadful record of offending.

"You have very little self-awareness of your problems and the capacity to try and deal with them in the future."

He ruled Illingworth was a dangerous offender posing risk of serious harm to the public "and to serving prisoners in particular".

He said the prisoner did not currently meet the criteria for a life sentence but warned him that he could be given once if he carried on offending.

Illingworth was given a 13-year extended sentence.

This will be an eight-year custodial term, of which he must serve two thirds before the Parole Board decide whether he can be released early, plus five years' extended licence.

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'High-risk' prisoner stabbed fellow inmate in the throat with makeshift knife - Mirror Online

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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Emotional Intelligence At Work: Becoming The Leader Of The Future – Forbes

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The Western world has largely been shaped by an admiration of logicversus emotion. Yet as humans, it's impossible to operate with just one or the other. In todays world, where artificial intelligence and digitization rule, many leaders and organizations are expected to adhere to a new social and environmental way of thinking, a more human way of thinking. Qualities like empathy and sensitivity, which used to be viewed by many as weaknesses, are now often seen as strengths. Emotional intelligence (EQ) has become more than a buzz phrase it's now a widely practiced tool embraced by progressive executives to increase their companies bottom lines and improve corporate culture.

I see the benefits of EQ every day in my work with executives and teams. Over the course of my career as a therapist, Ive learned that many of the interpersonal skills we use to strengthen our personal relationships are the same skills needed to fuel success in the workplace.

However, the questions remain: How did we get here, and are we prepared for what's to come?

The Origins Of EQ

Great philosophers like Aristotle studied the effects of emotions, what triggers them and how to deal with them. Aristotle is believed to have once said, Anyone can become angry that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way that is not within everybodys power and is not easy." This statement demonstrates an early understanding of EQ, yet this way of thinking didnt take off until much later. In fact, it wasnt until around the 1980s that companies started to take notice of the effects of a positive work culture on employees. During this time, Reuven Bar-On, a clinical psychologist whose assessment tool I'm certified to use, began studying the answers to two questions: What makes people successful, and what makes people happy? The results of those studies started a journey of conceptualizing, researching and applying EQ.

Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer coined the term "emotional intelligence" in 1990, defining it as "the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions. Salovey and Mayer worked together to clearly define and measure the effects of EQ, which piqued the interest of larger corporations concerned with hiring and retaining top talent.

Clinical psychologist and author Steven Stein, who co-founded a business that publishes computerized psychological assessments, also contributed to the study and spread of EQ. In 1994, he met Bar-On, who asked him to publish his EQ assessment tool. Today, many coaches (myself included) use this tool in their work with clients.

Later,Daniel Goleman popularized the concept of EQ and helped spread the idea throughout mainstream culture.

The Modern And Future Leader

Today, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a leading company that doesnt have a focus on EQ. Organizations all over the world have turned to EQ to help them hire, promote and develop their employees. They recognize that a positive work environment can help attract top talent, drive employee engagement and affect profitability and performance and the right leaders understand this too.

Leveraging EQ

The modern and future leader integrates the realms of both logic and emotion. They leverage EQ in a way that goes beyond gauging how employees are feeling and toward successfully navigating complex business situations. They can nurture our strengths rather than pick apart our weaknesses. They create and foster meaningful relationships with a multigenerational and diverse workforce. And while theyre no less focused on strategy and competition, the modern leader operates with adaptiveness, compassion and mindfulness.

Here are some tips for how to leverage EQ as a leader.

Practice self-awareness. Take stock of how you feel and react to certain stressors throughout the day. Notice how your emotions contribute to your actions. In order to understand the emotions of others, you first have to be in tune with yourself.

Listen carefully. This is surprisingly difficult for some leaders. It can be tempting to think that listening is merely following rather than leading. However, in order to make and sustain more meaningful connections and tailor communication styles to the right people, learn to become a better listener.

Be open and embrace conflict. A good leader is willing to problem-solve and dive into disagreements rather than run away from conflict. A leader with a high EQ level is much more likely to problem-solve effectively, rationally and with a certain level of poise and composure.

Make culture a priority. Purpose-driven leaders understand what engages and excites employees and work to cultivate an environment that fosters their creativity and engagement.

Living In The Present And Learning From The Past

Today, smart leaders are driven by opportunities and the future rather than by the past or their egos. They might learn valuable lessons from past triumphs, but they dont attempt to preserve the status quo. Instead of worrying about looking good or staying consistent, stay vigilant and on top of future trends, and don't be afraid to embrace the flow of new ideas.

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Emotional Intelligence At Work: Becoming The Leader Of The Future - Forbes

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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It’s Okay to Cut Ties with Toxic Family Members – PsychCentral.com

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Its never easy to cut someone out of your life. And when it comes to family, its especially hard to accept that a family member is creating so much stress, anxiety, and pain that you cant continue to have a relationship with them.

This post is for all of you who are struggling to decide whether to continue a relationship with a difficult or toxic family member. Youre repeatedly hurt by this person, have tried tirelessly to repair the relationship, feel frustrated that nothing seems to change (at least for very long), you dont want to give up, but you dont know how to move forward in a way that respects and nurtures yourself.

This is a tough question and I dont have a one-size-fits-all answer. Consider the list of toxic behaviors below and how often you experience these issues with the family member in question.

Toxic people disrupt your life and other relationships with behaviors such as these:

People can change, but toxic people rarely do. They lack self-awareness and dont take responsibility for their actions. And since they dont see how their behavior hurts you, they refuse to change. Instead, they blame you and expect you to cater to their demands.

I think we can all agree that no one deserves to be abused. So, why do we give our family members a free pass? Why do we think we should tolerate such hurtful behavior from them?

It sucks to have to choose between yourself and your family members. It really does. But this is the reality. Remaining in a relationship with a toxic person is potentially harmful to your emotional and physical health and relationships (and may negatively affect your spouse and children, too).

The bottom line is that for many people, the only way to heal is to remove yourself from the abusive relationship. How can you heal if you continue to be abused?

Its okay to not be ready. You shouldnt be pressured into making a decision. Most people who cut ties, do so as the last resort. They come to this decision gradually over years of fits and starts. They cut off ties and then reconnect. They set boundaries and make themselves less available. Things calm down and they feel better, only to have problems escalate again. This is common!

There is no right way to deal with a toxic family member. Only you can decide how much contact is right for you. And you will know if and when you need to walk away in order to save yourself. Just know that its okay to end a toxic relationship even with a family member.

2019 Sharon Martin, LCSW. All rights reserved. Originally published on the authors website.Photo byMarc SchaeferonUnsplash

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It's Okay to Cut Ties with Toxic Family Members - PsychCentral.com

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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Rand Paul verbally assaulted by aggressive libs complaining about incivility – legal Insurrection

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You just ran into two people from New York, kiddo, and were not putting up with your Republican bullst

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) was trying to enjoy his lunch with his deputy chief of staff Sergio Gor when he was accosted by lefties concerned about incivility.

The incident occurred in California, but the woman screamed that Paul and Gor had just ran into two people from New York, kiddo, and were not putting up with your Republican bullst. At one point, she circles around and flips Paul and/or Gor the bird. Charming.

Fox News reports:

Republican Sen.Rand Paulwas confrontedby two people while eatinglunch Friday with his staff at a California restaurant.

Pauls deputy chief of staff, Sergio Gor, captured the moment in a video he posted to Twitter.While having lunch with @RandPaul in California, we got verbally assaulted by these aggressive libs complaining about incivility, Gor wrote. Check out the vid! #unhinged

You just ran into two people from New York, kiddo, and were not putting up with your Republican bullst, the woman in the video shoutsat Gor.

. . . . Paul retweeted the video and said that while the left blames incivility on the president, he urges voters to watch this video and decide who the rude ones are.

Watch:

Heres Pauls tweet:

Needless to say, people have thoughts.

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Rand Paul verbally assaulted by aggressive libs complaining about incivility - legal Insurrection

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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Understanding Psychotherapy And Its Effectiveness – Version Weekly

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Psychotherapy is a psychological method used to address and treat emotional and mental health problems and its impact on life, family and relationships

Talking has enormous therapeutic benefits, It strengthens your ties with others and having someone listen to you, promotes the feeling that others care and are interested in what you have to say.

You mull and worry about many things, often without conscious awareness of its pattern and purpose. When these worries are left unattended they can take a pathological form and contribute to difficulties. When you verbalise and hear your thoughts then you experience a sense of relief from quiet suffering. It is after the catharsis, that the process of self-awareness and change takes root.

You benefit from talking to friends and family, but sometimes it isnt enough, as they may not be attentive, offer advice before listening and offer untimely advice and assurance. Therefore, it is sometimes easier to talk to someone (a trained professional) who has no prior knowledge or expectation from you and to whom you can disclose your deepest fears and emotions without the worry of being judged.

However, something holds us back from see king psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy). It is perhaps the misconception that you have to be little mad or harbour some strange and odd ideas to see a therapist.

This is a myth that psychotherapy is only for mental illness and associated disturbances. However, isnt it entirely normal and human to be confused and nervous and become overwhelmed by work stress, career angst and relationship challenges? In fact, those who seek early help and therapy to unravel their inner-self are more mature than those who wait until lifes issues trigger breakdown and illnesses.

What Is Psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy is a psychological method used to address and treat emotional and mental health problems and its impact on life, family and relationships. Its also for self improvement and to do what one does, better.

Psychotherapy is not a therapy that is done to you by someone else, but is done by you. You play an active part with the therapist as a facilitator and the process is empowering.

The process involves talking to a professional, either on a one-to-one basis or in groups, to get a deeper understanding of thoughts, feeling, worries and troublesome behaviour, with a view to raise awareness and bring about changes from a less adaptive to more adaptive state, as deemed desirable by the participant or client.

Psychotherapy is much more than just listening and guiding and change. Its about building trust and rekindling hope that life is fluid (and ever changing) and that problems are an opportunity for transformation and psychological growth rather than a hindrance.

Directive Or Non-Directive Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy can be directive or non-directive. In directive therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy or CGT, one can learn to identity and change unhelpful negative and pessimistic patterns of thinking, take note of and build on positive events, or apply relaxation techniques. Equally, develop skill sets to address social anxiety, low self-esteem and damaging anger problems. Here, the emphasis is on the present rather than past.

In non-directive therapies like psychoanalysis or psychodynamic psychotherapy, emphasises on exploring the past, including early family and other important relationships and how it may impact the present, reactions, behaviour and relationships.

Systemic Therapy

Then there is systemic therapy, which looks at the relationships between individuals as part of a unit and how systems and interpersonal dynamics work together. Examples of this approach include group and family therapy.

Involvement in psychotherapy should provide confidential physical and emotional space where conversation can flow and deep recesses of the mind can be accessed more readily. Its about enabling the participant to describe difficult issues and exploring a deeper meaning that he/she is unaware of.

It takes a holistic approach and sees the person as a whole, rather than from a narrow perspective of reported problems. The body, mind and conscious (and unconscious) thought, feelings and emotional reactions, interconnectedness to their world, are all taken into consideration.

Each person has a unique personality, perspective and preferences. And a good therapist removes himself/herself (biases and opinion) from the therapy sessions and speaks from the clients point of view.

The sessions enhance participation by reflecting and paraphrasing. Reflecting is a method where an attempt is made to reconstruct the clients thinking and associated feeling and conveying that back in an understandable manner, whereas paraphrasing Is simply repeating parts of the story to let the client know that he/she is being heard.

Continually assess readiness for change and/or resistance In form of un-cooperativeness or sabotaging progress by erratic attendance; the therapist must be attentive to these factors and provide timely guidance.

A therapists manner is ideally curious, honest and deeply interested in exploring human behaviour and feelings with an unconditional positive regard and also a belief that everyone has an inherent ability to heal themselves plus are capable of recovery from difficulties, provided they are treated with respect, compassion and warmth.

We all need to look inward at some point in life, in order to make more coherent sense of the world outside. And when there is conflict, collaborative approach with a therapist can be a great advantage.

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Understanding Psychotherapy And Its Effectiveness - Version Weekly

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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Medallion Status: comparison is the thief of joy, and John Hodgman is the thief-taker – Boing Boing

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John Hodgman's last book, Vacationland, was a kind of absurdist memoir of a weird kid who'd grown up to the kind of self-aware grownup who really wanted to dig into how he got to where he was, with bone-dry wit and real heart (I compared it to Steve Martin's Cruel Shoes, but for adults who'd outgrown it); in his new book, Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms, Hodgman offers something much more uncomfortable (if no less funny), a series of vignettes that explore the hollowness of privilege, the toxicity of comparison, and the melancholy of accomplishment.

Medallion Status tells the story of Hodgman's post-TV life. After lucking into a role in a series of Apple TV ads, Hodgman went on to semi-regular stints on The Daily Show under Jon Stewart and a series of medium-sized parts on well-regarded sitcoms, but these have dwindled, and while Hodgman has many other claims to accomplishment and fame, they're not TV fame (and arguably, as Hodgman points out, even TV fame isn't TV fame anymore in our fractured world of streaming services). TV fame is a weird kind of fame, a stopped-in-the-street kind of fame, a fly from New York to LA every week and stay at the Chateau Marmont kind of fame. It's the kind of fame that gets you invited into the swag room at awards-shows where you can be measured for complementary custom-made leather shoes or take home a really amazing pair of jeans.

For Hodgman, as riven with insecurity as the next person (especially if the next person is a white, straight dude from a middle-class background who has a keen appreciation that he's living life on the lowest difficulty setting and is likely being serviced and fawned over by people who work harder and are more talented than he is), the gradual withdrawal of the trappings of privilege are a constant, nagging confirmation that every jolt of impostor syndrome you've ever felt was fully deserved.

This becomes the basis for an extended meditation on the many ways in which privilege feels gross and upsetting for the privileged: the systems around you are designed to tempt you to strive harder to attain the next level of privilege, where, you are assured, you can rest up from your anxious climb and enjoy the summit. But each summit reveals another summit, and higher, more promising, more tantalizing summits you can attain.

This is both the literal and metaphorical life of a frequent flier, of course: each tier in the airlines' customer loyalty program is designed to remind you of how terrible things are on the tier below you and how marvellous things would be if you could only rise up by one more level. And each tier is designed to panic you as the year progresses and you realize that you might not re-establish your status. And it is status, exclusivity, a secret society for one percenters, celebs and looters, all rubbing shoulders and eating chef-prepared meals and drinking free whiskey at 30,000 feet in a lie-flat bed.

At this point, you might be thinking that if being privileged is such a burden, you should try having no privilege at all. Hodgman agrees with you: indeed, the story of Medallion Status is about how badly this works out for everyone.

From his perch on the middle tiers of celebrity, Hodgman is able to compare himself to people who are in much smaller cohorts than his own: if he's in the 15% of people-on-TV, he's comparing himself to people in the 5% or even 1%, and yet, whenever he comes close enough to tug at those tailored and exclusive shirt-tails, he realizes that those people are every bit as miserable and insecure as he is.

And therein lies the message of Medallion Status, latent amidst the very funny jokes and the charming asides and the disarming honesty: that the whole system of privilege and inequality isn't serving anyone: it makes you miserable to be at the bottom, sure, but it also makes you miserable to be at the top.

And worse: as Hodgman travels through, and finds some accomodation within, these rarified heights, he sees how privilege turns the privileged into monsters, including Hodgman himself, whose impulses are warped and stunted under its ferocious gravity. As funny as Hodgman is -- and he's very, very funny -- there is a kind of horror in this book, something appropriately Lovecraftian (given both Hodgman's dedication to New England and Lovecraft's revolting worship of elitism). What Hodgman describes is a horror-movie form of compartmentalization, in which the protagonist finds themself committing terrible acts, knowing that they are terrible, unable to stop themselves.

My absolute favorite mode of humor is "ha ha only serious." One of Hodgman's anxieties is that he's not serious enough to be a comedian: that making a career out of inventing untrue facts about orchestral instruments or being the straight man on The Daily Show makes you funny, but not a comedian -- not someone using humor to disarm power so that it can have truth spoken to it.

But Hodgman is speaking truth to power here: he's spilling the rich, white guy tea, which is that they're absolutely miserable. Not that the wealthy and powerful deserve our sympathy -- but it's important to understand that the system is frailer than you think, because the only reason its supporters defend it is because they're afraid that if they're not defending the hierarchy, they'll end up on the bottom of the pyramid.

This is the moment for that message, with an election only days away and the most egregious example of self-parodying, useless and overprivileged whiteness in the White House. Trump's whole "poor person's idea of a rich person" schtick is the living embodiment of the idea that comparison is the thief of joy. Trump is insecurity manifest, a would-be dictator whose manifesto could easily be titled Mein Angst.

The difference between a monster and a mensch is self-awareness. Hodgman's Medallion Status is the opposite of narcissism: it's an honest and terribly funny peek into a world that very few of us will get to see, one that is frank enough to admit that the only thing the people in that world enjoy about it is that we're not allowed in it.

Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms [John Hodgman/Viking]

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Medallion Status: comparison is the thief of joy, and John Hodgman is the thief-taker - Boing Boing

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October 20th, 2019 at 8:47 am

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New biography, "Plagued By Fire: The dreams and furies of Frank Lloyd Wright" – Crain’s Chicago Business

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Frank Lloyd Wright, almost as famous for his ego and for flouting his eras moral code as for his buildings, is the subject of a new biography, whose author says he wanted to scrape away the refuse of Wrights arrogance and illuminate the fundamental decency at the bottom.

He wanted the money, he wanted the fame; he was a reprobate and an adulterer, said Paul Hendrickson, whose Plagued By Fire: The Dreams and Furies of Frank Lloyd Wright, is out this month. But I dont think its possible to look at the buildings without feeling there must have been a fundamental soulfulness in this guy.

The book opens with the notoriousfire and murders at Wrights Spring Green, Wis., home and studio, Taliesin, in August 1914, when a worker who disapproved of Wright's lifestyle killed Wrights inamorata, her two children and four others while the architect was in Chicago at his Midway Gardens project. Its evidence, Hendrickson told Crains, that although he mocked the middle-class values he came from, he never could escape them.

But while other writers portray Wright as moving on from the tragedy with little self-awareness, in Hendricksons view he was mindful, ever making amends in some way. One way of making amends, Hendrickson suggests in the book, was Wrights embrace of affordable housing designs, his Usonian homes, such as the one Wright designedin Rockford for a disabled World War II veteran using his state and federal funding for paralyzed veterans.

It's "a wrong-headed misperception," Hendrickson writes in the book, "that the stainless steel armature of Frank Lloyd Wright's ego and arrogance allowed him to ride through the world for nearly a century without pain or remorse. He was always looking behind, however surreptitiously."

Hendrickson, who grew up down the street from Wrights B. Harley Bradley house in Kankakee and went on to work for the Washington Post and write several biographies,will speak at the Oak Park Public Library on Oct. 8 and the Robie House in Hyde Park on Oct. 9. He spoke to Crains in advance of the visit.

Crains: So Wright got into affordable housing as a way to make amends for the tragedy at Taliesin?Hendrickson: He made his reputation building large Prairie Style homes for wealthy clients. He sought these commissions avidly. (After Taliesin) he wanted to build beautiful structures for mankind that would enhance the domestic quality of life. He comes up with these beautiful spare, utilitarian Usonian houses, affordable housing for the working American man and wife. That suggests something deep and fundamental about who he was.

In West Pullman, theresa Wright house that has been for sale since April 2017. Its now priced at about three-quarters what it last sold for, in 2005. This is going on all over Chicago and the suburbs: Wright housesoften prove very hard to sell. If we admire his work so much, why is this happening?I think it has something to do with the upkeep and maintenance of these buildings, the expectation that youll always be doing it, and it may have to do with having passersby knocking on your door or standing on your sidewalk looking in the windows.

Many of those houses were bought a few decades ago during a resurgence of interest in Wright, and rehabbed by people who loved them. Are we less interested in Wright than we used to be?I wonder about that, too, and I dont think so. Im not saying so to unsubtly promote my book. There was an earlier wave that swept him into real estate fashion. It was powerful to say, I live in a Frank Lloyd Wright house, and now it may be a little less so.

But I think Wright worked his way into the cultural imagination of America. He becomes like Elvis or Hemingway, hes evergreen, theres always going to be an appetite for Frank Lloyd Wright stories.

The interest is there for novels and biographies and plays, but that may be a separate question from, "Do you want to buy and live in one of these houses?"

Wright demands a lot of you. He wants you to be a guest in his house. He was building for clients, but also for Frank Lloyd Wright. In the same way, the Guggenheim is a great building, but it is not a great museum for looking at art. You payphysically, emotionally and financiallyto live in one of his houses.

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New biography, "Plagued By Fire: The dreams and furies of Frank Lloyd Wright" - Crain's Chicago Business

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:44 am

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Be A Better Leader By Creating Space Between Stimulus And Response – Forbes

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Have you ever noticed that exceptional leaders have a calm demeanor and often have thoughtful responses to difficult moments? They seem to elegantly dance in that space between being presented with a set of facts and their outward reaction. Over the past several years, I have found something that has helped me gain greater self-awareness which, in turn, has allowed me to exercise better self-management not only in business but in just about any situation.

I managed to make it well into my 50s knowing very little about meditation. Five years ago I took an academic-based coaching course. One of my projects during the coursework was to expose myself to a new body practice and reflect in writing on the experience. I had witnessed firsthand leaders (including myself from time to time) losing their cool at the wrong time and was curious about developing a mechanism to handle difficult situations more effectively.

Meditation always seemed intimidating to me and I decided to explore what it was all about. I spent the next few years experimenting with different techniques, some of which resonated with me and others that did not.

My goal was to develop a daily practice, but for the first few years, I was inconsistent and not sure if I was truly benefiting from meditating. As often happens, I needed feedback from someone who knew me well enough to be objective and factual. That feedback got delivered to me loud and clear one afternoon from my wife. I had an emotionally challenging day on several fronts and must have been acting surly. I walked into our kitchen and my wife looked at me and quickly asked, You did not get in your meditation today, did you? She said she could easily tell whether or not I had mediated most days by observing my demeanor.

As of the posting of this article, I have completed 365 days of meditation without missing a day. My goal started out as three months without missing a day, but the effects I noticed were so profound I extended it to six months, and then to a year. Here are a few observations for those who, like me, are wanting to dip their toes in the water and see what meditation is about.

For starters, realize that meditation is not religious or spiritual. For meditation to work, you have to commit time to it. I started with five minutes in the morning and did that for a very long time. The key is to approach meditation (like lots of things in life) with a beginners mindset. You need to meditate regularly, like brushing your teeth. Dont get wrapped up in the amount of time you meditate (the number is irrelevant), just get the habit started. You can increase the time later (much later), once the habit is established. My practice is currently 20 minutes in the morning and then again later in the day when possible.

As for the type of meditation, I found it easiest to start with an app on my phone that had beginner guided meditations. You simply listen to the guide instruct you on things like breathing and visualizing. The process is about focusing your mind to identify and eliminate distractions. Becoming self-aware enough to recognize distractions and return my focus has been one of the best benefits of my meditation practice. Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer are all good applications to start with.

Self-compassion is another cornerstone of meditation. Be easy on yourself when you realize you got distracted; just gently leave the distraction and return your focus to your meditation. I once heard it stated that the practice of returning your focus in a self-compassionate manner is one of the most important things to learn.

After you have dabbled with an initial modality of meditation, experiment with others. There are mediations that involve sitting, walking, chanting and mantras -- the permutations are endless. Eventually, you will experience unconscious changes in your daily life and behavior.

One outcome I have noticed is that I would normally get anxious anytime I had to wait in a line. I would get frustrated when people ahead of me caused delays and made the wait longer. Now, I remain calm and do not get upset over things I can not directly control. While it is hard to definitely attribute this new behavior to meditation, I now recognize when I am triggered by other events the same way I notice meditation distractions. Meditation practice has created a space for me between stimulus and response that allows me to decide how I want to respond to the stimulus. This effect goes beyond resilience and also feels restorative.

Many of the leaders I coach have a goal of improving their executive presence. After working with them to develop a meditation practice, they report that now it is easier to maintain a calm demeanor in challenging circumstances, allowing them to think clearly and work toward effective outcomes.

Viktor Frankl is attributed with saying, Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. For me, meditation has allowed me to widen that space between stimulus and response so that I can focus on the response without distraction.

Continue reading here:
Be A Better Leader By Creating Space Between Stimulus And Response - Forbes

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:44 am

Posted in Self-Awareness

‘Head Above Water,’ Avril Lavigne still a bit ‘Complicated’ – TribLIVE

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Following a five-year break, Avril Lavigne is back on tour, taking her sixth studio album, Head Above Water, out on the road, including a planned Pittsburgh stop.

Lavigne, 35, first drew attention in 2002 while a teenager with the hit singles and videos Complicated and Sk8er Boi from the album Let Go.

Ball cap on backward, liner rimming her eyes, wearing baggy clothes and a skinny tie, Lavigne was the anti-video vixen featured in many MTV videos at the time.

She came across as sassy, challenging, possessed of a lot of tude.

Lavigne may be older, more resilient, but the sass and the attitude remain, maybe with a little more self-awareness and self-protection.

Rolling Stone says, Lavignes never sounded stronger or more vocally confident, while Idolator calls the album a triumphant return. contains some of her best work to date.

She will take the Roxian Theater stage in McKees Rocks on Oct. 8, part of her 15-date, North American tour.

Not so complicated

The video for her current single, I Fell in Love With The Devil, is seductive, mysterious and beautiful yet unsettling to watch, as she grapples with an irresistible but toxic lover.

Its a song she wrote and helped produce, and theres a clear message being delivered.

I did make the decision to walk away from someone who is not the right person. Its about knowing your worth, keeping your eyes open, being careful about who comes into your life, Lavigne says in a telephone interview.

I love this music video so much. Its one of my favorite ones Ive ever made. Its a huge passion treatment for me, she says.

Lavigne taps into some of her earlier musics angst, frustration, and zero toleration for fools in the fun (I Aint No) Dumb Blonde, featuring another tough girl, Nicki Minaj.

Its taking a stand, not letting a man negate or talk down to you and says its also OK to be a woman and be strong and have opinions and be tough, Lavigne says.

Step back, your time is up, sit down, Im takin the lead should make her meaning clear.

Back on her feet and on stage

The title track, Lavigne says, reflects her fight back to health after being diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2014, and being bed-bound with exhaustion.

Head Above Water is about my health journey, when I was recovering. It was the first song I wrote. I was taking time off and going through treatment and it just came to me. I thought other people could relate if they were going through a struggle in their life, she says.

One dollar from each ticket sale during the tour will benefit the Avril Lavigne Foundation.

Begun before she was diagnosed, the foundation supports people with serious illness or disabilities. It has expanded to include those suffering from Lyme disease through a partnership with Global Lyme Alliance, on whose board Lavigne serves.

Programs and grants provide prevention resources, fund treatment and accelerate research, according to the foundations website.

Shes learned a lot, she says, about music therapy through starting the foundation.

Its true, creativity is good for the body and mind, she says.

Lavigne is careful to follow an organic, gluten-free diet and to get plenty of sleep and exercise.

I try to take care of myself. I find music to be really healing for me. When Im singing and being creative and working, I just go to this other place, she says.

Expect to see some of her earlier pop princess swagger in her performance.

Youll see and hear a lot of the new album. I will definitely bring back the old favorites. I feel like the tour is going to be this cool journey, in a way, from my past to who I am now.

I feel strong. I feel good. I have my life back, she says.

Mary Pickels is a Tribune-Review staff writer. You can contact Mary at 724-836-5401, [emailprotected] or via Twitter .

David Needleman

Avril Lavignes new album, "Head Above Water," features the ballad - with a twist - "I Fell In Love With The Devil."

David Needleman

Avril Lavigne will bring her "Head Above Water" tour to Pittsburgh on Oct. 8.

Avril Lavigne "Head Above Water" tourWhen: 8 p.m. Oct. 8Admission: $60.50-$255.50Where: Roxian Theatre, 425 Chartiers Ave., McKees RocksDetails: eventbrite.com

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'Head Above Water,' Avril Lavigne still a bit 'Complicated' - TribLIVE

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:44 am

Posted in Self-Awareness


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