@Mark Knudson41

Strike One: Good self-awareness is a very valuable trait to have. Especially for a college football program.

Solets start by giving Northern Colorado Athletic Director Darren Dunn and his staff a ton of credit. They recognized not only where their struggling football program stood, but also exactly who they were and what they needed to do to change things for the better.

Did they set out to hire some guy who may or may not have ever heard of Northern Colorado, with mandatory previous head coaching experience that met some arbitrary standard theyd set for themselves to match an inflated idea of where they stood within the scope of college football?

Nope. They got real.

Very few college football programs would have the nerve to hire a new coach straight off a high school campus. Thats because it hasnt worked out very well in the past. From Gerry Faust at Notre Dame in the early 1980s, to recently fired Tony Sanchez at UNLV, the jump from the preps to college ball has proven to be too big a leap in nearly every case.

So why is the Bears hiring of former NFL standout Ed McCaffrey most recently the head coach at Valor Christian High School in suburban Denver any different?

For starters, UNC knows they arent Notre Dameand that they have nothing to lose. After going 28-72 over nine years with just two winning seasons, the program faced a metaphoric fourth-and-long-deep-in-their-own-territory-with-the-clock-ticking-down. It was time for a Hail Mary. After thinking things over (after announcing they were going to conduct the requisite national search for a new coach) they approached those long odds and came up with a brilliant play call.

While he has no college coaching experience, McCaffrey brings instant name recognition: Every football fan in the region knows him, plus hes well known nationally. He brings an unchallenged pedigree: Not only was he a Super Bowl Champion, but he has produced three sons Christian, a star at Stanford who should have won the Heisman Trophy before beginning a standout NFL career, Dylan, currently a quarterback at Michigan and Luke, currently a QB at Nebraska who are each already excelling at the next level.

All that plays well.

He also brings unquestioned football knowledge. If you listened to McCaffrey do Denver Broncos games on the radio, you understand that he not only knows what hes talking about, but he also has the critical communication skills needed to explain it to those who dont.

And just as importantly, McCaffrey brings tremendous recruiting connections in the region, and the ability to build a brand. Valor Christian alone has been producing dozens of college football prospects every season, and that wont change with his departure. Some of those kids whove gone out of state are going to now take a long hard look at staying closer to home and becoming a Bear.

All these are things UNC needs very badly. Could they have gotten ALL of them by hiring some other coach? The short answer is no. McCaffrey is unique in a lot of ways. Would it have been better if he had college coaching experience? Sure. But you cant have everything. And in this case, the good far outweighs the risk.

Whether or not Eddie Mac ultimately succeeds at UNC or not, the move to hire him was a bold shot well worth taking.

Strike Two: Meanwhile, 23 miles away in Fort Collins, self-awareness took a leave of absence.

Also in the market for a new coach after letting Mike Bobo walk after five nondescript seasons, Colorado State AD Joe Parker took the opposite approach. He conducted a clumsy and publicly awkward coaching search. He ultimately hired recently fired Boston College coach Steve Addazio after new CSU prez Joyce McConnell reportedly vetoed Parkers first two choices, former Tennessee HC Butch Jones and former Indiana HC Kevin Wilson, each because of previously well-publicized character issuesthat McConnell had just discovered.

Better late than never? I guess.

A few years ago, the department-wide slogan being used at CSU was A Bold New Era. There was nothing bold or new about the hire of Addazio a .500 coach whod made numerous enemies in Chestnut Hill before his unceremonious exit. He perfectly fits the description of a re-tread. It smacks of a just get this search over with hire. Its relatively safe in that Addazio doesnt have a Google past that will come back to bite him, but its uninspired and short-sighted.

This is a guy with ZERO recruiting connections in the region. Addazio has never coached west of South Bend, Indianaand the assistants he reportedly is bringing with him are equally new to the region.

Hello Siri? Please find Fort Collins Colorado for me

Being bold for Parker would have meant really interviewing (there was only a single token phone call, nothing face-to-face) CSU alum and Ohio State Assistant Head Coach Tony Alford. Parker ended up ignoring pleas from numerous alums to bring Alford back home, seemingly never taking the candidacy seriously. Alford is a 27-year veteran assistant coach, a great recruiter with a passion for his alma mater. Parker reportedly shied away because Alford has no previous head coaching experience. For the record, neither did Jim McElwain when CSU hired him, and that worked out pretty wellhappening during the schools Bold New Era.

Some supporters of the program think Alford should gain some HC experience at a smaller school first, before trying to get a job in the Mountain West conference. Breaking News: CSU IS a smaller school folks. Its the same as schools in the Mid-American, American Athletic or Sun Belt conferences.

A program thats seven games under .500 over the past five years, hasnt won a conference title in 17 years and has missed a bowl game the past two years isnt too big or two good for a first-time head coach with a great resume, especially one who really wants to be there.

The viewpoint that Alford was not good enough for CSU and that somehow Addazio was a better hire shows an amazing lack of self-awareness.

Strike Three: Were now about a year removed from similar coaching change situations in Boulder and Dove Valley. How have those graded out?

At the University of Colorado, Mel Tuckers first year, even though it resulted in a 5-7 bowl-less season, has been treated as a success by most in Buff Nation. CUs schedule was a killer, with losses to Air Force and Arizona offset by wins over Nebraska and Washington. It doesnt get a lot easier next season. Up and down Fresno State replaces Air Force, with Texas A&M instead of the Huskersfollowed by another gauntlet run through the Pac 12. Going 6-6 and reaching a bowl would be a very good season for the 2020 Buffs.

Tucker had only a brief fill-in stint in the NFL as a head coach (2-3 as an interim HC with Jacksonville at the end of a lost season) on his stellar resume as an assistant coach prior to getting hired by CU. This was basically his first head coaching gig, too.

Recruiting has been decent, and the reception by everyone around the program has been positive. If you had to give a letter grade to this first-time head coaching hire, youd land somewhere in the B or B+ range to this point. Get to a bowl game next season, and that could bump up.

Meanwhile, the Denver Broncos also hired a first-time head coach last year long time defensive assistant Vic Fangio. The Broncos were coming off two straight losing seasons and needed a jolt of old-fashioned discipline within their building.

Enter the man some call the Godfather.

After a bad start that included a really poor handling of the pre-season, the Broncos have finally gotten a little traction late under Uncle Vic. Its taken most of the season, but the new coaching staff appears to have gotten on the same pageand the results including an unexpected beat down of the Houston Texans two weeks ago have improved steadily. Exciting new young quarterback Drew Lock has emerged as a symbol of hope coming out of Broncos Country.

Denver will finish with a losing record for the third straight season, something which hasnt happened in five decades. And even though they could end up 6-10 under Fangio which is exactly the same record they had under Vance Joseph in 2018 this year feels different. Because of the decent finish, theres hope in Broncos Country. That didnt exist at this time last year.

So, after one season, both Tucker and Fangio grade out well as first time head coaching hires. Both searches were not rushed but measured. They werent clumsy and there was no what if fear involved.

Its easy to look at UNC in much the same way.

CSU? Not so much.

Continued here:
Mark Knudson's Three Strikes Blog: Coaching searches Why UNC won, CSU didn'tand how to grade the Buffs and Broncos after Year One. - 1310kfka.com

Joshs girlfriend broke up with him in the fall of 2017, and it hit him hard. He became depressed, started drinking and became more withdrawn. He got into a few mountain biking accidents, which his mom, Diane, thought were intentional. She thought he was trying to hurthimself.

And then it just seemed like all of a sudden he spiraled down bad, Dianesaid.

Of the 166 petitions filed in Oregon in the nearly two years since the law took effect, 112 were for people who were at risk of suicide and 39 were for domesticviolence.

Illustration: Jonathan Levinson /OPB

In February 2018, Josh shot himself in the leg. He owned five guns and initially he told his mom and sister it was an accident. But on the way to the hospital, Diane said he confided in her that he was trying to killhimself.

OPBis not using Joshs or his familys last name to protect hisprivacy.

Eventually, Diane would use Oregons newly created extreme risk protection orders (ERPO) to have her sons firearmsremoved.

The law, colloquially known as a red flag law, allows immediate family, co-habitants or law enforcement to ask a judge to prohibit a person from possessing or buying a firearm for one year. Once filed, respondents have 30 days to contest the order incourt.

OPBhas reviewed all 166 petitions that were filed in the state from Jan. 1, 2018, when the law went into effect, through Oct. 31,2019.

They paint a picture of people in extraordinarycrisis.

For the couple of months after Josh shot himself, he was in and out of the hospital. He would detox, start doing better, then relapse. In the hospital, he would hide his depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts from doctors and social workers. Despite her entreaties, Diane said there was little they coulddo.

But he definitely talked about he was depressed, she said. He would say, I want todie.

Doctors suggested she take his guns, but without his consent that wasimpossible.

I had tried at one point and he got in my face and said, Get the blank out of here, sherecounted.

Finally, in April 2018 a police officer on a wellness check at their home told Diane about the new extreme risk protectionorders.

Of the 166 petitions filed in Oregon in the nearly two years since the law took effect, 112 were for people at risk ofsuicide.

A Tillamook County woman, allegedly addicted to pain pills and in the midst of a divorce while living at a cancer treatment center, repeatedly demanded that her husband give her his firearm and ammunition so that she could take her own life. A father in Josephine County petitioned for an ERPO after his sons numerous threats to kill himself escalated to self harm and violence toward familymembers.

Has history of self harm including cutting, jumping from moving vehicles, and striking himself, reads the petition, which goes on to say the son often fondled a firearm or knife when speaking topeople.

Thirty-nine of the filed ERPOs, or about 23%, were related to domesticviolence.

A Washington County man pointed a gun at his wife and said, maybe Ill take us both out. A Josephine County man pushed a loaded pistol into his wifes chest so hard it left a bruise. That petition, filled out by a Josephine County Sheriffs Office deputy, reads, respondent owns approximately 30 firearms, including assault weapons and bodyarmor.

Twenty-six of the suicide and domestic violence petitions were for both. Most of the petitions involved multiple factors such as threats of violence, use of physical force, owning or attempting to purchase deadly weapons, prior convictions and use of controlledsubstances.

Currently, 17 states plus the District of Columbia have extreme risk protection orders. Connecticut was the first state to pass a red flag law in 1999 after a mass shooting at the Connecticut StateLottery.

The laws vary in how they work. In Oregon, only law enforcement, immediate family, and co-habitants can petition for an ERPO. Maryland and D.C. allow mental health providers to petition and New York allows school administrators. In Hawaii, where the law goes into effect Jan. 1, medical professionals, coworkers and educators can allpetition.

In Florida, where legislators passed a red flag law after the 2018 Parkland shooting, Jerron Smith recently became the first in the state to be convictedfor refusing to comply with an ERPO. Courts in Connecticut, Indiana and Florida have upheld the laws asconstitutional.

A 2018 study found Indianas ERPO law was associated with a 7.5% reduction in firearm suicides over 10 years. Connecticuts law was also associated with a reduction in suicide. Research has yet to show an impact on gunhomicides.

Diane, the mother whose son had become suicidal after breaking up with his girlfriend, filed the paperwork for an ERPO at 9 a.m. on April 17, 2018, and was in front of a judge that afternoon. By 6:15 that same evening, a sheriffs deputy delivered a certified copy of the order to Josh. His mom said he peacefully surrendered hisfirearms.

It tore my heart out, Diane said. I felt like he hatedme.

But, she said, it also served as a wake up call to Josh, who soon after got sober. His mom said he started going to Alcoholics Anonymous and seeing a therapist. Diane agreed to have the order liftedearly.

Josh didnt want to be interviewed for this story, but did relay a message through hismom.

He said he knows that he was so bad off that [the ERPO] was the right thing, but it still didnt make him happy, Dianesaid.

In an August interview with OPB, Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum said the law is working, but she acknowledged that it is not being widely used, it is not widely knownabout.

Of Oregons 36 counties, 11 havent issued a single ERPO. Another seven have issued just one. Part of that might be a function of awareness for the new law, but it may also bepolitical.

I believe that theres a preconceived notion that these are not appropriate in our county, said Rachael Espy, executive director of the SAFE Project, a domestic violence advocacy program in Coos County,Oregon.

I think that its more of a culture here in Coos County that everyone has a right to a firearm because of our Second Amendment rights, Espy said. And while I agree that we should protect our Second Amendment rights, I dont agree that everyone has a right to afirearm.

She said its up to police chiefs and sheriffs to determine best practices and train their officers and deputies on enforcing red flag laws. If leadership doesnt advocate for policies to protect survivors of domestic violence, then their subordinates wont either, shesaid.

If its not a resource thats readily offered, that theyre not trained on, that theyre not encouraged to use, then why would they use it? Espyasked.

While Oregons law may not have been fully embraced, in Colorado, elected officials and law enforcement are bracing for ashowdown.

The Colorado Legislature passed an ERPO law this year that will take effect on Jan. 1 and a number of Colorado sheriffs have said they wont enforce the law or use it in their counties. On Dec. 7, approximately 200 people attended a We Will Not Comply rally at the state Capitol. The Three Percent militia, an anti-government group, provided security. Speakers included a number of Republican state representatives and candidates forCongress.

Essentially what Im saying is, I wont be an applicant for a red flag order, Weld County Sheriff Steve Reams told KUNC in August. If we have someone who is a significant risk to themselves or others, well go out and handle that person but taking their guns away is not how to make a situation better when a person is incrisis.

Det. Lucas Franks with the Washington County Sheriffs Office in Oregon has been using extreme risk protection orders for almost two years and disagrees withReams.

Before extreme risk protection orders were an option, he said there were times when his hands would be tied, when he had done everything he could legally do and he would have to accept an ongoingrisk.

Its certainly not the answer to all the problems, but it can be a useful tool, Franks said. That void that we may not have been able to resolve in the past, the ERPO potentially helps withthat.

In some states a warrant may be issued allowing law enforcement to search the respondents home. Oregon isnt one of those states. Franks said enforcing a risk protection order in Oregon still requires some cooperation from therespondent.

Theres no mechanism for us to go booting the door and searching around ourselves, Franks said of Oregons law. Thats just not part ofit.

Even before an extreme risk protection order reaches police, it has to pass a judges scrutiny. Through October, 32 of the 166 requests in Oregon have been denied by judges and an additional 12 were dismissed after respondents requested a hearing. That means around 27% of requested ERPOs did not result in gunremovals.

Oregonians have petitioned for 166 extreme risk protection orders since Jan. 1, 2018. Judged granted 122 orders. Forty-four were denied or dismissed after they werechallenged.

Illustration: JonathanLevinson/OPB

Reasons judges denied petitions vary. Five were denied because the petitioner wasnt eligible to request the order it was filed by someones neighbor or boss, for example. Four were denied because the petitioner didnt show up to the initial hearing and another 15 were denied because the judge determined the evidence was insufficient to warrant an ERPO. Others were dismissed if the respondent was already prohibited from owning firearms or if other kinds of restraining orders were moreappropriate.

Jane, a woman in a domestic violence situation, nearly had her petition denied in July2018.

OPBis not using her real name because of safetyconcerns.

Jane said she had been living on adrenaline for more than two months after her husband had a psychoticbreak.

Near the end of April 2018, Janes husband told their daughter that he was going to die on May 1. She said that unraveled their marriage and made her worry about her safety and that of herchildren.

Jane said her life was a roller coaster after that. Her husband became paranoid, erratic and would talk about ending his life if she ever lefthim.

And throughout all of this, were still meeting with counselors, Jane said. Hes being sent to the hospital. The police are being called and still there was nothing I coulddo.

One night in June, she said, she realized she couldnt stay in the marriage any longer. Although her husband had always had what she described as violent tendencies, he had never been violent toward her. Still, that night, she was lying in bed and couldntsleep.

And I just remember thinking: At any time if he wanted to kill me, theres nothing I could do. Im helpless, she recalled. And thats when I realized, Maybe you dont know this person like you thought you did and maybe youre not as safe as you thought youwere.

Two months after his break began, she told him she wanted a divorce. She said he became homicidal. He accused her of having an affair and threatened to put a bullet in her head. When the police came that day, he repeated the same threats and said he was planning on ending hislife.

Her husband was hospitalized and the police told her to look into a restraining order, but didnt offer any details orhelp.

As a person whos in this crisis mode and experiencing their whole world turning upside down, it felt like I had no idea what I was doing, she said. Show me, tell me where to go, what makessense?

Jane was left to do her own research online and found information that incorrectly suggested that because her husband had never actually hurt her, she didnt qualify for a restraining order. Under Oregon law, threats of abuse are sufficient for a Family Abuse Prevention Act, or FAPA, protection order. Without a restraining order, Jane felt unsafe. She stumbled across the ERPOs online and thought they applied to her situation so she applied forone.

After explaining her situation to the judge, Jane said he still wasnt convinced it met the requirements for anERPO.

When the judge was asking me questions, it was like, Thats not enough. Thats not enough. I cant grant this to you, she said. But he said he would get a sniper rifle. He said specifically that he was going to shootme.

It wasnt until she mentioned that her husband had just gotten his Oregon state ID that the judge changed his mind. Janes husband didnt own any firearms but he had expressed an interest in buying one. And with a state ID, he finally had the ability to do so legally. The judge granted the ERPO, which meant her husband wouldnt be able to pass the required background check to buy afirearm.

The ERPO expired in July, and Jane said her relationship with her ex-husband is hostile but working. She said hes on medication now, and while they dont speak, he spends every other weekend with their children. He has even cancelled a few times when he said he felt off, a reassuring sign to her that he is more selfaware.

She said getting the protection order changed the way she interacted with herhusband.

I wanted him to still have parenting time and that was important to me, shesaid.

Without the ERPO, she said, she never would have even consideredit.

Resources if you or someone you know is consideringsuicide:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 orhttps://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Options For Deaf and Hard of Hearing:1-800-799-4889

En espaol:1-888-628-9454

Veterans Crisis Line & Military Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255, Press1

For help with intimate partner violence call the National Domestic Violence Hotline:1-800-799-SAFE(7233)

1-800-787-3224 (TTY), or emaildeafhelp@thehotline.org

Guns & America is a public media reporting project on the role of guns in Americanlife.

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Oregonians Have Used Red Flag Law 166 Times In 2 Years - OPB News

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If you are an avid traveler, you may be familiar with Away, the fast-growing luggage maker, but you may not have heard of its toxic work environment. A recenttell-all article about Aways internal practices sheds light on the risks of using values and mission to build a cohesive culture. At Away, employees may have faced nightmarish scenarios not because their employer lacked a strong corporate persona, but as a result of it.

Consider the following: People were routinely scolded for falling short of the companys values; they were prevented from exchanging private emails and messages; and they were cajoled into ignoring their feelings of exhaustion and into acting as the extraordinary team players the company needed them to be. Aways story is just the most recent case of an incoherent culture that strides away from its best intentions.

Like Away,Thinx, another purpose-driven startup that became known for its abusive practices, orNetflix, an organization with an unvarnished commitment to culture that was also exposed for unsavory rituals and norms, are only some of the examples from the large universe of companies that start with an inspired purpose and end with a dysfunctional workplace.

Yet, the idea that values and purpose should be used to build a robust core makes intuitive sense and there is evidence to support it. In fact, not only can sharing a common purposebind people together, but it caninspire and direct effort. Indeed, that unique ability that both values and purpose have to glue a group together is also why they can become dangerous liabilities for an organization and its leadership.

The Implicit Demands Of Cohesion

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People intuitively know that some groups have a stronger sense ofgroup-ness and feel more like a real group than others. For example, a tight-knit circle of friends will feel more wholesome than a temporary committee created to complete a specific task. Scientists refer to the quality of group-ness, the extent to which a group feels like a coherent and meaningful whole, asentitativity. The more entitativity a group has, the deeper the level of intimacy its members sharein such groups, people are not solely pursuing some transient goal or outcome, but they are bound together by deeper bonds and commonalities.

Whether a group is more intimate versus business-like also has an impact on the type of expectations that people hold with respect to how group members shouldrelate to one another. In tight-knit groups, people are comfortable with a more communal way of sharing and pitching in as needed. Importantly, of all the factors that can generate entitativity,interdependence and communication are the two conditions most likely to produce it. This is why building a culture with an inspiring purpose and strong values can be equated to the intentional practice of equipping the organization with a high dose of entitativity.

At Away, for example, the veneer and popularity of the brand had the effect of attracting young employees who were sucked into the cool factor and seduced by the idea of joining an exclusive organization. As employees were inducted into the practice of refraining from personal communications and using only group conversations on Slack, they were also subjected to the subtle yet powerful effect of feeling greater interdependence amongst one another. Simultaneously, the impact of communication on the organizations everyday life was strengthened, creating another condition for people to feel part of a tight-knit group.

When purpose and values are devised to shape a strong sense of who people are and trigger an equally deep aspiration of who they should be, they can shift the way in which employees perceive themselves and the organization. Upon being hired, Aways employees would hear from leadership that they were joining a movement, and everyone wanted to be a part of this. But, even more deeply, internal practices were used to, wittingly or unwittingly, make people feel the effects of Aways strong cultural identity. Take the companys obsession with its image and how this deeply ingrained value was mirrored by the use of a consequential way to control how people were made to appear in front of their colleagues - employee shaming. As one ex-employee noted, the CEOs tirades felt like having your pants pulled down in front of the company.

The Risks Of Expecting Communal Sharing

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For businesses that seek high engagement, the fact that employees are inspired by the companys mission and join without the purely transactional mindset that task-oriented groups are more likely to elicit is a boon. At Away, as leadership kept evoking the companys values (i.e., thoughtful, customer-obsessed, iterative, empowered, accessible, in it together) to prescribe and injunct behavior, people were made immediately aware of the tall order that awaited them: meeting ever-unfulfilled and overly ideal standards of conduct.

But while a purpose-led, values-based organization may earn extra goodwill for free, it does so at the cost of stepping into the murky and more complex dynamics that characterize intimate groups. When some of Aways employees were told that the only way to respond to all customers inquiries in a timely manner was to plow through on New Years Eve and New Years Day, people felt unable to refuse because they didnt want their colleagues to be caught in it alone. As one ex-employee noted, they exploited the fact that we were close.

Indeed, abusing expectations of communal sharing becomes an ever-present danger when leaders fall into the trap of raising and fostering such expectations (e.g., our shared purpose and values, etc.) without the required and necessary maturity. The power asymmetries that exist between employees and management combined with the higher personal stakes that tie leaders to their business make it much harder to draw the line once a leader starts applying the norms of a more intimate group to his/her own team. Whether this results in loving and long, but manipulative, messages sent to employees or the leader name-calling and berating people, as the Away story shows, it remains a dangerous breach into the personal sphere that few or no leaders can pull off without catastrophic consequences for the organizations culture.

This is even more likely because when employees joinwith and in a communal mindset (e.g., we are in it together, etc.) they themselves then hold expectations that their communal sharing will be reciprocated - a promise that businesses can hardly fulfill. Thus, in the case of Away, as in the case of any other company that finds itself in the same predicament, its no surprise that people would end up thinking that the mission was just a smokescreen to make people work harder and longer. But, while this feels like a foregone conclusion, it also does irreparable damage to the culture to the point of rapidly eroding any free goodwill the organization may gain because of its underlying mission.

Indeed, for values and purpose to correctly and successfully inform the culture, they cannot be eagerly appropriated, nor can they be used to conveniently erase boundaries. Instead, they must be put to task to re-draw the groups internal boundaries in a way that is devoid of any double standard. This requires a process of humble self-awareness, shared learning and continued personal growth that must start with and from the most senior leaders in the organization.

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From Being Purpose-Led To Fostering A Toxic Culture: Why Companies Like Away Fail To Live Up To Their Promises - Forbes

In multicultural societies, the pressure to buy stuff never lets up throughout the year

Every Christmas I get into a panic trying to find the perfect presents to stuff into stockings because people are usually never happy with my gifts.

I trawl the malls looking at wonderful things like bath bomb soaps, wooden, hand-crafted knee massager from Kerala and essential oils that help make your home smell like it was strewn with lemons cut in half.

I pay attention to the gifts I buy in this season of giving, as most of the presents I receive have to be re-gifted and then some poor soul is then left wondering as to what he or she should do with the coffee mug with a picture of a fat, overweight, obese Santa, smiling benevolently.

Greta Thunberg, Swedish environmental activist, would be proud of us, as my wife and I become a one-family recycling unit after each festival. Do you think they will know this gift we are giving is a re-gift? I ask my wife guiltily. Just throw away the box, and wrap the gift in that fancy tissue wrapping paper, says my wife.

(Amazon, Flipkart and Ali Baba, should start a new department called One mans (womans or any other gender) trash is another persons treasure and sell the returned stuff at a huge discount).

By the way, in this age of self-awareness isnt it time that Santa should be depicted as a hot, slim, vegetarian health freak with neon green trainers who goes jogging with his elves?

The pressure to make you buy gifts for the people you care, starts way, way ahead of Christmas, sometime in the beginning of October. The emails start pouring in your inbox and then you think; Should I get the spouse the latest waterproof Kindle, even though you know she does not read books, so you could quietly take it back from her later?

The online retailers know how to cajole you and make you type in the CVS number that is on the back of the credit card. We like your face, take 75 per cent off on any item only for this week and you fall for it.

Living in multicultural societies such as India, or Canada, the pressure to buy stuff never lets up throughout the year.

In India, every Diwali, the festival of lights, the whole family goes to a jewellery shop and buys tons of gold jewellery as if they were savvy investors who knew that the time has come to invest in this metal. (Luckily, you do not have buy gold for your friends and relatives, you buy it for yourself).

In Dubai, another multicultural society, the biggest stress is wondering to which Eid tent you should take your friends to as hotels vie with each other to attract customers with scrumptious buffets and the eating goes on well into the early hours of the morning.

Meanwhile, in India, the Eid parties are extravagant after the monthlong fast and spas and saloons do roaring business and the textile shops are packed and tailors become the heroes of the hour. Newspaper adverts entice people to buy everything from a new scooter to clunky furniture.

Meanwhile, back to gift-giving in Christmas and the courier service, UPS, has dubbed January 3 as National Returns Day as tons of packages are sent back to retailers.

But there are some people who love shopping so much, such as my wife, that returning the gifts becomes shopping too and the fun begins all over again.

I will be keenly following the jolly old gentleman on NORAD Tracks Santa while he delivers gifts to people across the world, but I doubt if he will make another trip to take back returns.

Mahmood Saberi is a storyteller and blogger based in Bengaluru, India. Twitter: @mahmood_saberi

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It's the thought that counts in Christmas | Opinion - Gulf News

Sherronda J. Brown x Dec 16, 2019

This essay contains spoilers for Knives Out and mentions suicide.

The Thrombey family is mourning the loss of its patriarch, Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer), a wildly successful mystery crime writer who was found dead the morning after his 85th birthday party. The question is whether this was a murder or death by suicide, and everyone is a suspect. Lieutenant Elliott (Lakeith Stanfeld) and Trooper Wagner (Noah Segan) arrive to investigate, accompanied by the famous and eccentric Private Detective, Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, doing a Southern American accent thats so bad its good). From this scenario unfolds a delightfully smart and funny Whodunnit adventure that is well worth the ride and culminates in one of the most satisfying endings I could ever hope for with a film like this. All in all, Knives Out is a genuinely fun and entertaining watching experience. Its also an unexpected, but very welcomed, commentary on white American nationalism, racism, xenophobia, white liberalism, and the false narrative of self-made independent wealth.

Seems like all his kids are self-made overachievers, Lieutenant Elliott comments while questioning the Thrombey family members. But there is a noticeable trace of sharpness and cynicism in his voice. Its true that several of the Thrombeys think of themselves as self-made and independently wealthy. I built my business from the ground up, says Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis), without a hint of irony or self-awareness, but neither she nor the others would have their financial or social capital without the wealth shared with them by Harlan.

Joni (Toni Collette) runs a skincare company, but she wouldnt be able to do so without the yearly allowance from Harlan. Her daughter, Meg (Katherine Langford), is able to attend a good college without worrying about tuition payments because Harlan finances it. Walt (Michael Shannon) runs the publishing company that Harlan created and funds. When Walt keeps referring to the books as our books at his birthday party, Harlan interjects to remind him, Theyre not our books. Theyre my books. Its very apparent to everyone around themespecially the audiencethat none of them are anywhere close to being self-made. Regardless, the Thrombeys hold tight to their delusions, existing as representations of many white American wealth-hoarders who do mental gymnastics to avoid admitting to how white supremacy, colonialism, and chattel slavery have created a racial wealth gap and how there are systems in place to prevent the socioeconomic mobility of BIPOC.

The film builds with more and more obvious examples of white entitlement, racism, and nationalism throughout. Lindas husband, Richard (Don Johnson), quotes the Immigrants, we get the job done lyric from Lin-Manuel Mirandas Broadway sensation, Hamilton, in a cringe-worthy moment of performative white allyship. But soon after, we see him railing against immigrants and defending Donald Trump. I dont like him, hes an asshole, he insists before repeating the same arguments weve heard from many Trump supporters time and again. But maybe an asshole is what we needed America is for Americans.

Walts wife, Donna (Riki Lindhome), chimes in to say, We are losing our way of our life and our culture. Her hand shakes in a panic as she rants about how Mexicans are coming into the country, taking over, and wanting to have everything their way. Richard agrees, more or less, demanding that they should all have to earn their share, Build something from the ground up just like dad and all the rest of us. To drive his point home, he invites Marta (Ana de Armas) to join in the conversation because he naively believes she will agree with him, noting that she and her family came into the country the right way.

Marta was Harlans humble and compassionate nurse, close friend, and confidant. Richard and the rest of the Thrombeys see her as a good kid and, essentially, a model minority. They have no idea that her mother is undocumented. They also have no idea which country she and her family immigrated from. Different people throw out different guessesUruguay, Ecuador, Braziland each of them speak with undue confidence in their knowledge about her, her family, and her experiences. Both Linda and Walt express their regret for Marta not being allowed to attend Harlans funeral for some unnamed reason. Independently, they say that they thought she should have been there, but they were out voted. Marta is like family to them, they say. That is, until she becomes a barrier to them receiving the totality of Harlans inheritancea fortune they think they deserve.

Their hypocrisy reveals itself in more ways than this, especially in their mutual disgust for and disapproval of Ransom (Chris Evans) and Jacob (Jaeden Martell). They regard Ransom as the black sheep of the family because he has never had a real job and has always been provided for by his grandfather. While hurling insults like trustfund jerk and entitled prick at him, they refuse to acknowledge that they are all equally spoiled and doted upon by Harlan. But Ransom is seemingly aware of the reality of the situation and the privilege he holds in a way that the others are not. My mother built her business from the ground up with a million-dollar loan from my grandfather, he sneers, the only one who tells the truth about the fact that Harlan is the only reason why the rest of the Thrombeys are so successful and why them insisting they are self-made is complete bullshit.

However, even Ransom carries his own delusions about what his family is supposedly entitled to. He tells Marta, We allowed you into our home and now you think you can steal it from us our birthright our ancestral family home? Benoit Blanc laughs heartily at this, amused by the audacity, responding with the fact that Harlan bought this place in the 80s from a Pakistani real estate agent But Ransom yells at him to Shut up! before he can even finish the sentence, because he doesnt want to hear or acknowledge the truth. It would go against the narrative hes created to make himself into a victim and lay claim to something that he never had a right to.He knows that he isnt self-made but he still thinks he has every right to hoard the wealth that he has been given.

The familys displeasure with Jacob, however, is due to his extreme political leanings as a teenage neo-Nazi and Alt-Right troll dipshit. Its true that he is genuinely unpleasant and overtly racist, even openly calling Marta a dirty anchor baby at one point, but the rest of the Thrombeys are also racists. They think themselves better and more highly evolved, but they are all equally terrible, intolerant, entitled, and selfish people too engrossed in their whiteness and class privilege to see how insufferable, toxic, and harmful their entire family actually is. And this means that, if Harlan was murdered, any of them could conceivably be guilty of the crime.

White supremacy and racism manifest themselves in numerous different ways, and the Thrombeys embody many of the White Racist Archetypeswith Meg as the white liberal Feminist Studies major of some unspecified sort who chastises a cop for asking Marta if she is the help but turns her back on Marta as soon as doing so benefits her, Ransom as the white ally and black sheep who helps Marta escape the rest of the family at one point but with ulterior motives, and Walt as the white savior who offers Marta support but doesnt want her to have the means to support herself. All of them end up betraying Marta in significant ways and actively trying to harm her.

The Thrombeys all despise and resent each other, eager to pass the buck and the blame to divert attention away from themselves and direct it towards anyone elses behavior in order to keep their own secrets and distract from their misdeeds, whether they are relevant to the mystery of Harlans death or not. What unites the Thrombeysthe only thing that unites themis the same fundamental understanding of their place in the world, what they believe they are entitled to, and who must be shut out in order for them to retain their power. The same thing unites most white Americans who believe only they get to determine what is right and fair when it comes to wealth and access.

Besides being a great crime thriller, Knives Out proves to be more socially and culturally relevant than one would expect from a Whodunnit mystery such as this. Its a near-perfect picture representation of white American solidarity against people of color. It directly challenges the myth of the self-made wealth-hoarder with a cleverness and levity that feels seminal and timely, while holding up a mirror to show us how shared whiteness operates as a uniting factor of white supremacy and nationalism.

Every single dollar matters to usespecially now when media is under constant threat. Your support is essential and your generosity is why Wear Your Voice keeps going! You are a part of the resistance that is neededuplifting Black and brown feminists through your pledges is the direct community support that allows us to make more space for marginalized voices. For as little as $1 every month you can be a part of this journey with us. This platform is our way of making necessary and positive change, and together we can keep growing.

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The "Self-Made" Wealth False Narrative Gets Directly Confronted In 'Knives Out' - Wear Your Voice

As 2020 fast approaches, it will soon be time for the advertising community to pause, reflect and reset for the year ahead. The start of a year, like many beginnings, is when we become more intentional, not only about what we want to achieve, but how we go about it.

Think about how you show up differently for a new beginning at work, when someone new joins your team, or when you start a new business partnership. In those moments our behaviour becomes more deliberate, as we look to make a positive first impression.

By bringing that same intention to everyday interactions, it is possible to bring greater humanity to leadership. Its an opportunity for more psychologically supportive leadership that helps people to better navigate the complexity and uncertainty of working in the industry.

This approach can play an important role in bolstering peoples social and emotional wellbeing and is a way of leading that helps to increase performance.

A leaders behaviour accounts for a variance of up to 70 per cent in employee engagement, according to research. For a leader to successfully embrace more psychologically supportive behaviours he or she needs to start by developing their self-awareness.

This includes building a greater understanding of the impact they have on others and how their belief system influences the work environment they create. Self-awareness helps to balance the task and people requirements that come with being an effective leader.

Create a Sense of Belonging Belonging means an acceptance by others that can help us deal with the stresses of organisational life. Leaders play a vital role in creating a sense of belonging by being more deliberate in how they communicate with their team.

Leaders often focus on belonging when they are concerned a valued member of the team is thinking of leaving. By connecting with each person in their team more systematically leaders can foster a sense of belonging. Formal and informal interactions reinforce for a team member that my manager values the work I do.

Intentional leaders take the time to validate peoples internal experiences, by listening to understand their challenges, to create the basis on which to offer direction and support.

In team discussions, leaders who foster a sense of belonging value differences, and encourage diverse perspectives. These leaders facilitate involvement from everyone in the team and are more conscious to recognise people for their contribution, instead of focusing solely on the quality of their ideas.

Show Respect for Others When it comes to fostering commitment, engagement and the wellbeing of employees, one of the most powerful drivers is when a leader shows respect.

Respect starts with the small habits that a leader develops, such as being on time to meetings, giving people their full attention and treating everyone equally regardless of status or role.

A lack of respect often stems from a leaders lack of self-awareness. More often than not, they dont recognise their impact on others.

When a leader delivers performance feedback in a respectful way, they understand how negative feedback, when given poorly, can trigger a flight or fight response. A lack of respect often stems from a lack of preparation for a feedback conversation.

Respect also demands that a leader believes in the resourcefulness of their teams ability to get the job done. These are leaders who look for ways to give people more autonomy in the time they dedicate, and the order in which they complete tasks to help reduce stress and burnout.

Offer a Deeper Meaning People need a reason to care about achieving organisational goals; especially Millennials who are entering the workforce in higher numbers, and are looking for safety, belonging, and a sense of meaning in their work.

Although extrinsic rewards like incentives play a part, we also need the intrinsic reward that comes with leaders giving people a deeper meaning to achieve goals.

We know from research that when people have a clear sense of purpose, it contributes to increased task persistence and encourages them to learn faster.

When people are learning on the job and working towards meaningful goals, it supports their wellbeing, as they are more likely to feel like they are thriving in their role.

A team purpose doesn't need to be altruistic, instead it should be credible and relevant, so each person understands how they are making a difference.

Leaders who seek to provide deeper meaning make the team purpose a part of daily interactions, with regular updates on each persons contribution to achieving the shared goals. When the feedback is fair and consistent with other team members, it positively influences peoples wellbeing and performance.

Socially and emotionally supportive leadership is not about taking a soft approach. It is leadership that recognises what it is to be human in dealing with the industrys unprecedented challenges. To be successful we need leaders who bring self-awareness of their humanity to lead others with authenticity, and a strong desire to help their team thrive.

Andrew Sherman is founderand coach at askcoaching.

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Three ways to be a more psychologically supportive leader in 2020 - AdNews

Handling negative situations just sort of comes with the territory of being a human being, whether theyre just small inconveniences or major problems. While difficult situations and people cant always be avoided, you dont have to get sucked into a negative mindset. Taking steps to seek out positive new relationships and experiences can help you counter negativity and help you to grow as a person.

So how do you begin to banish negativity from your daily life? We asked a panel of Forbes Coaches Council members to give their best advice. Read on to learn how to retrain your brain and embrace positivity.

Forbes Coaches Council members share advice for bringing yourself out of a negative mindset and seeking positivity.

1. Understand The Root Cause Of Your Negativity

Asking questions is key, and not enough people do this. What is the root cause of the negativity? Is it your circle of friends? Is it fear of failure? Unworthiness? You get the point. When you know where the negativity stems from, you are in a position to acknowledge it, tackle it head-on and, most importantly, learn from it. Then go listen to your favorite motivational podcast. - Erin Miller, Erin Miller INC

2. Go On A 'Thankfulness Tour'

When is the last time you went through your day being thankful for every little thing? Go on a thankfulness tour. Find everything that brings you joy, from a sunrise to a good friend. Fill your life with joy because the one person you listen to the most is you! Start practicing positive, joyful self-talk. Eliminate anything negative from your life and watch your life fill with positivity. - Dr. Teresa Ray, PCC, Dr. Teresa Ray

3. Create A Positive Daily Practice

Banishing negativity begins by creating a daily practice of positivity. Establish an enjoyable morning routine that's inspiring and nourishing. This will set a powerful tone for the day. Your daily practice might include gratitude, journaling, meditation and exercise. By cultivating positivity daily, you will move through negative experiences and away from negative people with grace and ease. - Gina Lavery, Gina Lavery Inc.

4. Accept That Negative Thoughts Exist

One thing I see happen when people try to "banish" negative thoughts is that they believe that there will be a point where every single thought will be perfectly positive, always and forever. This is simply not true, and anyone trying to say otherwise is trying to sell you something. When we accept that negative thoughts will come, we can also accept that we don't have to listen to those thoughts. - Cody Dakota Wooten, The Leadership Guide

5. Cultivate A Positive Environment

One way to banish negativity is to establish what you listen to and see all day. Staying away from the news or music that is not of positive disposition is key. We can not underestimate our surroundings. Our environment sometimes dictates how we feel and act. Therefore, pay attention to your environment at home and at work. This will help you grow and stay positive when negativity is prevalent. - Adriana Rosales, Adriana & Company LLC

6. Change The Voice In Your Head

"Fire" the negative voice in your head that is getting in your way. "Hire" an inner-champion. Arm yourself with positive aspirations and personal success stories. Be sure to repeat these often. Take the time to shape a positive vision for your future and gather evidence that you are moving forward. Then, when the voice in your head starts with the negativity, present evidence to the contrary. - Jennifer Owen-O'Quill, Voltage Leadership Consulting

7. Study Your Own Energy Patterns

You attract the energy that you are. If you're able to alter your own energy patterns, you won't have to focus on seeking out positive relationships. Instead of you seeking them out, they'll be drawn to you. Ever heard of "like attracts like?" If your energy system is aligned with universal energy, you won't need to worry about keeping negativity at bay. Growth will be a natural consequence. - Anjali Chugh, Cosmique Global Inc

8. Let Go Of What You Can't Change

At some point , I came to the realization that I was wasting anger on things I could not change. Without any real hacks, I just focused on figuring out if I was burning emotional energy (and making others miserable) on things out of my control. It was an easy fix. Try it, and you will banish a lot of negativity both in you and around you. - Tom Kolditz, Doerr Institute for New Leaders

9. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is one of the best ways to catch yourself before you dive headfirst into a rabbit hole of despair, aka negative habit holes. Instead of replaying negative thoughts, you simply notice the thoughts that are popping up in your mind, observe them and gently let them dissipate, releasing them. Learning to detach from the noisy mind junk is healing, empowering and powerful. - Debbie Ince, Executive Talent Finders, Inc

10. Combine Positivity With Realism And Hard Work

Being positive is a step in the right direction. However, meaningful success requires positivity to be combined with two other elements. The first is realism: the ability to be realistic about the facts and circumstances of life grounds our positivity. The second is hard work because success requires enormous effort. Positive, realistic and hardworking is the most successful combination. - Antonia Bowring, ABstrategies LLC

11. Take Time To Connect With Others

A time management study reveals that one of the four items we neglect is connecting with people. Reconnecting or building new connections allows us to move away from negative relationships. Establishing "good company"a network of people who are tuned into our vibe and have our best interests at heartis not only healthy, but also will force us to evolve through introspection and self-awareness. - Rita Coco, Rita Coco Consulting

12. Affirm And Appreciate Yourself

Embrace the fact that universal principles and people are not developed to give you favor. In daily interactions, claim your authentic self. Make a decision to work on self-awareness skills regarding the transfer of positive and negative energy when interacting with others. You are personally empowered to remove all people, places and circumstances that hinder you from being your authentic self. - Eugene Frazier, EF Choice & Associates, LLC

13. Reframe Your Thoughts As 'I Get To...'

I was recently introduced to the concept of saying, "I get to..." versus the language that we typically use, "I have to..." (e.g. "I have to go to work," "I have to do laundry," "I have to pick up my kids.") Seems like such a simple thing, but shifting that one word shifts the mindset and the outcome from a drudgery to a blessing. Change your language, change your mindset, change your world! - Annette Franz, CX Journey Inc.

14. Switch To A Growth Mindset

Switching your beliefs from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset begins with self-awareness and evolves from a state of wanting something new and different. When we engage in having a growth mindset and focusing on the enhancement and improvement of the process with focused energy, we are open to learning, inspiration, growth and having positive, lasting behaviors, relationships and outcomes. - Lori Harris, Harris Whitesell Consulting

15. Get Off Your Phone

The best way to build positive relationships is still good old face-to-face interactions. While our phones are amazing tools, they're simply thattools. The easiest way to start building relationships with those around you is to put the phone down, look up and smile. The next thing you know, that smile leads to a conversation, and a conversation leads to a relationship. - Alex Rufatto Perry, Practically Speaking, LLC

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15 Ways To Banish Negativity And Embrace The Positive In Life - Forbes

Friends, my time here as a contributing writer for Premier Guitar is coming to a close. My intention was that this could be where the discussion of objects could become a venue for the consideration of ideas. A sincere thank you goes out to PG editors Shawn Hammond, Ted Drozdowski, Tessa Jeffers, and Joe Gore for the opportunity, and their patience with what Ive wanted to say and the manner in which Ive said it.

As readers, sometimes your feedback changed the way I think; at others, it confirmed my suspicions. Like every other piece of technology in our modern age, there is a balancing act between utility, art, design, and commerce where each of us stakes out our preferences and our reasons why. I would hesitate to say theres an objective right and wrongbut I certainly have my own opinions on things, and I thank you for taking the time to consider and reply to them. I leave you with this.

The electric guitar might just be another electronic instrument, but I think its still the best electronic instrument. Keytars are good for conspicuous displays of ironic consumption, but they dont actually look cool. Surrounding yourself with stacks of keyboards makes you Tony Banks of Genesis, at best. Modular synths turn users into 1920s telephone operators. And like someone who feels compelled to operate an imaginary steering wheel in a self-driving vehicle, anyone onstage vigorously moving around their groove production controller that they tap once a song section looks kind of ridiculous.

Much like muscle cars, monster trucks, lightsabers, bazookas, and being a princess with secret world-altering magical powers, guitars still appeal to our base, childlike, lizard brains with a special cocktail of power and cool. Theres a reason any thick fashion magazine full of viral affluenza ads always has at least one expensive-looking photo of a model awkwardly holding whatever guitar the crew could borrow. It hearkens to a legacy of loud defiance that goes back to Cashs middle finger, Hendrixs matches and lighter fluid, the cover of London Calling, and thousands of other images seared into our imaginations.

Sometimes, its just a chicken sandwich because the family is hungry and this is the exit.

But behind the artifice and styleand artifice and style do matterthe electronic content of the electric guitar is still really cool. I once dismissively described the balls to ovary birth story of your favorite tones as the furthest thing from natural, but it doesnt make them any less awesome. A spool of wire wrapped around magnets is no more sophisticated than a fifth graders science project, but the voltage created by its field getting broken by the vibrations of a plucked string can be harmonically rich, dynamically responsive, and immediate in ways that are special and unlike anything else in music. The effects pedals weve described here can vary from the medieval to sophisticated, but there is wonder and liberty in choosing exactly which devices sound best, look the coolest, and feel inspiring and fun to use. And then the amps! Whether you direct your sonic path to your laptop or plug into an old tube amp, each device creates its own magic and constraints for how you want to use it. At their best, each of the tools in your signal chain can have character and personality that contributes towards your sound.

In the end, it really isnt about the gear. It sounds either hopelessly naive or self-defeating for a gear maker to say this in an era where people signal their virtues by their choice in chicken sandwiches, but Im going to say it out loud: You are not what you buy. You are not the tuner you bought right before a show, the fuzz you scored at the flea market, or the amp you ordered after reading pages of effusive testimonials. Im for people making well-informed decisions about the equipment they own and the people who make it, voting with their dollars for things that bring them the most joy and the least dissonance with their values and needs. But sometimes, its just a chicken sandwich because the family is hungry and this is the exit. Sometimes its just the overdrive thats available and you need to save gas money for the drive home after these shows. And sometimes, its the amp you dropped way too much money on that just isnt for you. You dont have to let these things define you, because they dont.

I was genuinely moved by a post from an acclaimed electronic musician who had once been so committed to the traditional ideal of the guitar-playing singer-songwriter that she was making herself miserable. I think its a miracle that she found her voice and joy in other genres and technology, making trash beats and arranging loops until she became really good at it. Id encourage a similar sense of discovery and self-awareness within or outside of whatever instrument you play. In the end, its just the stuff we use to make music and sound. Make the sounds you dream of making, get the tools to do it, and be true to the pursuits that make you happiest. Even if some guy in a guitar mag thinks you look a little ridiculous.

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State of the Stomp: It's All About Wonder and Liberty - Premier Guitar

With the arrival of season three of the Emmy award-winning Amazon show The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, Tara Ward explains her topsy-turvy love affair with the shows infuriating heroine.

When season one of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel burst onto our screens in 2017, it was love at first sight. After years of watching nightmarish shows about tortured handmaids and Swedish murders, the candy-coloured Maisel was a welcome breath of fresh air. Created by the team behind Gilmore Girls, the show is a gorgeous whirlwind of fabulous costumes, a barrage of rapid fire dialogue that made you laugh out loud, and a feminist story about a brave woman who, when the shit hits the fan, gets her boobs out and starts cracking the funnies.

Rachel Brosnahan as Midge Maisel.

The funny woman is Miriam Midge Maisel (Rachel Brosnahan, who won an Emmy and two Golden Globes for this role). In episode one, Midge is happily fulfilling her destiny as an upper-class Jewish housewife and mother in 1950s New York, but it all goes tits up/boobs out when her husband Joel announces hes in love with his secretary, Penny Pann. Penny Pann! The names as ridiculous as the whole situation, and Midge does what every self-respecting woman does when they realise a tasty casserole isnt enough to save a marriage: she gets drunk, goes out in her nightie, tells some dirty jokes and gets arrested.

Who wouldnt fall in love with a smart, sassy heroine like Midge? While her family and friends reel from the shame of her divorce, Midge steps into the (spot)light and reinvents herself as a stand-up comedian. Comedy gives Midge the freedom to vent her anger and frustrations, and helps her make sense of her new life. She fights to be taken seriously, both as a single woman and a female comic, and shes not afraid to call out gender stereotypes and double standards. Comedy is fuelled by oppression, by the lack of power, by sadness and disappointment, by abandonment and humiliation. Now, who the hell does that describe more than women? Judging by those standards, only women should be funny, she says.

I fell hard for Midge in season one, but like Joels feelings for Penny Pann, something changed. While characters like Midges parents Rose and Abe evolved and grew during seasons two and three (which arrived on Amazon Prime earlier this month), Midges journey of self discovery stalled. Instead of being inspired by Midges bravery, I became frustrated by her lack of self awareness. Her bedroom filled with clothes and her love of shopping annoyed me. She remained naive and impulsive, an immaculately dressed tornado blustering into every room. There was no challenge she couldnt conquer, no crowd she couldnt charm. It was too much. Midge was too much. I was in her corner, but sheesh, Midge could be exhausting.

I began to wonder if Midge and I needed to take a break. I couldnt reconcile the Midge who wants independence with the Midge who leaves her baby in the car on holiday and orders the hired help to bring it inside. Midge gets to kick comedy butt on stage because she lives with her wealthy parents who employ a maid and can babysit at the drop of a hat, privileges which Midge rarely acknowledges. Midge gets older but not necessarily wiser, and its as frustrating as the time she was eliminated from a hectic game of Simon Says in the Catskills for touching her nose when Simon did not say Simon Says. By that, I mean a lot.

If Midges whole shtick is that shes a single mother building a career in stand-up, Id love to see The Marvelous Mrs Maisellean in harder and let Midge face more of the challenges of a working parent, instead of protecting her from them. Im thinking constant childcare juggling or endless loads of washing or being so exhausted you fall asleep at 7:30pm in front of a Love Islandmarathon with biscuit crumbs stuck down your bra that youll discover the next morning all melted and smooshed, but eat them anyway. Or so Ive heard.

Praise be to the Tupperware gods, then, for Susie Meyerson (two-time Emmy Award winner Alex Borstein), Midges wonderfully sarcastic manager. Shes the dark to Midges light, the rough to her smooth, the socially awkward to Midges polished socialite. Its Susie who encourages Midge to do the unthinkable and become a comedian, and when Midge flies too high, Susies brutal honesty keeps both Midge and the show grounded. Susie keeps you coming back for more.

Together, Midge and Susie are the beating heart of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, because they have faith in each other when nobody else does. They both work in a mans world, each pushing back on societal expectations about how women should behave. Their partnership is tested during season three, but essentially theyre a team taking on the world, one stand-up show at a time. Alone, Im a spittoon. With you, Im a somebody, Susie tells Midge.

Season three ends at a turning point for Midge, which means I cant break up with her yet. Like a good, strong girdle, this is a love that cant be undone, just loosened enough to catch your breath and ask what the fork is happening here? Its not perfect, but The Marvelous Mrs Maiselis still a colourful, sharp-witted show that knows how to spark joy, and thats mostly down its two intelligent and funny heroines. I have faith in Mrs Maisel, because you get the feeling that whatever happens, shes going to do great things. Tits up, thank you and goodnight.

Seasons 1-3 of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel are streaming on Amazon Prime Video.

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No more yuks: Falling in and out of love with The Marvelous Mrs Maisel - The Spinoff

Sterling Brown picked off the pass. He threw ahead to Pat Connaughton. He pushed and then dropped it back to George Hill. He swung to Ersan Ilyasova. He went to the paint and kicked to Robin Lopez.

In those 11 seconds, each of the five players on the Bucks made space and rhythm for a teammate. It culminated in this Lopez triple. There was not a Cavalier within ten feet of him.

This was just one play, but it is representative of bench-based lineups since the start of the year. More than a quarter through the season, the Bucks statistically have the second best bench unit in the league.

Bench: Differential Per Game (201920) 1. Mavericks: +5.6 2. Bucks: +4.1 3. Lakers: +3.7 4. Clippers: +3.4 5. Pistons: +1.8

Their bench also ranks second in the league in minutes per game, with only the Clippers giving slightly more time to their reserves, largely because they technically bring two guys (Lou Williams and Montrezl Harrell) off the bench who are actually part of their core closing lineup.

When the Clippers came to Milwaukee last week, they were outscored by a combined 59 points when Williams and Harrell were on the court. In what was expected to be a showdown featuring not only two of the best starting units in the league, but two of the best benches as well,Milwaukees reserves helped blow the game open. Most of the second half was mop-up time, which for the Bucks means rolling out one of the best benches not only this season but in recent league history.

Bench: Differential Per Game (since 2000) 1. Mavericks: +5.6 (201920) 2. Bucks: +4.1 (201920) 3. Spurs: +3.9 (201516) 4. Spurs: +3.8 (201314) 5. Spurs: +3.7 (201112) 6. Lakers: +3.7 (201920) 7. Raptors: +3.6 (201718) 8. Bulls: +3.5 (201112) 9. Spurs: +3.4 (201617) 10. Clippers: +3.4 (201920)

They are up there with some memorable bench squads. Kyle Korver was raining threes for that Bulls team, on a bench that also included prime Taj Gibson and rookie Jimmy Butler (who was not yet getting rotation minutes). The Raptors featured budding Pascal Siakam and Fred VanVleet, guys who would figure centrally in bringing them a title the next season. Pick your favorite Spurs bench: The 201314 title-winning supernova brought Manu Ginobili, Boris Diaw, Marco Belinelli, and Patty Mills off the bench, while the 201112 version had Kawhi Leonard coming off the bench for 25 games in the regular season before blooming in the playoffs.

The Bucks are 100 this season when they are missing a starter, and withEric Bledose expected to be out for approximately two weeks, their depth will be tested. Outside of the core starting five,Donte DiVincenzo has filled in as a starter most often among the reserves and has played very well in that role. He is a natural when it comes to understanding the pace and the angles of the game. Here he freezes the defense before delivering a handoff to set up Giannis for an easy finish.

Coming off excellent postseason runs last year, George Hill and Ersan Ilyasova might be the headiest and steadiest bench duo in the league. Hill leads the NBA in three-point percentage (by far, at 53.4%) and has the fifth-best assist-to-turnover ratio in the league, while Ilyasova as always ranks among the league leaders in charges drawn and self-awareness.Sterling Brown still has the best Defensive Rating in the NBA. Robin Lopez is starting to hit threes. D.J. Wilson has taken another step forward. Kyle Korver still has defenses lunging. Pat Connaughton still blocking jump-shooters, still cramming on the unsuspecting is having the best year of his career (again).

Statistically, the Bucks so far are one of the most dominant teams of all-time based on point differential. As a result, for the second straight season, they have a built-in, natural load management approach. Which is to say, they are killing teams, their bench comes in and makes it worse for opponents, and along the way Giannis plays like one of the best players ever, in a modest number of minutes. This season, he is averaging the fewest minutes since his rookie season.

Giannis: Minutes Per Game 201314: 24.6 201415: 31.4 201516: 35.3 201617: 35.6 201718: 36.7 201819: 32.8 201920: 31.1

Depth will help the Bucks push for homecourt advantage throughout the playoffs. Once they get there, some might be thinking, well a great bench is great, but what you really need is an elite starting lineup.

Bad news for people who are looking for bad news about the Bucks:

Starters: Differential Per Game (201920) 1. Bucks: +9.4 2. Lakers: +5.9 3. Sixers: +4.7 4. Heat: +4.0 5. Clippers: +3.5

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The Bucks Have A Great Bench | Milwaukee Bucks - Bucks.com