A major mental task in life is to craft a coherent identity. Psychology maintains that identity is an amalgam of ones life experiences, memories, relationships, physical characteristics and values. Some psychologists believe clear self-definition (I am this kind of person) provides a steady sense of self that persists over time, affording a consistent psychological platform from which to interact with the world and contemplate ourselves. But, for many, identity is neither steady nor consistent.

When someone struggles to describe their personality, values and attributes, they likely suffer an ill-formed, conflicted or murky sense of self. This poses a substantial psychological handicap. A muddled self-definition undermines relationships, decision-making, self-discipline and life satisfaction. This conundrum is most common in young folks struggling to find themselves, but also afflicts adults who become fixated on the logistics of living, only to wake up one day and realize theyve lost touch with who they are.

Regardless, such folks are left pondering that proverbial existential questionWho am I? There are a multitude of challenges that can complicate ones answer. For example, for some folks, their identity is heavily invested in one prominent aspect of their person, such as being a parent, their career, or physical appearance and capacities. If they lose this defining role or self-image, then the classic identity crisis ensues. Attaching too much of ones self-definition to a single role is risky.

Another scenario involves people who act in ways inconsistent with their core values, perhaps by doing something hateful or destructive. This creates a psychological clash between their longstanding sense of self (Im a good person) and actions that paint a very different picture (Im a bad actor). If ones actions are sufficiently at odds with ones values, the cognitive dissonance disrupts or even shatters ones identity, sometimes with dire consequences. More than a few suicides and self-destructive lifestyles stem from this deep wound to self-definition and the shame it often engenders.

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In another troubling vein, one may harbor a hidden identity kept secret from the world, having discovered that ones authentic self is not affirmed or welcomed by others. This can leave a person feeling fake and unworthy, which fosters both self-loathing and what psychoanalyst R.D. Laing termed the divided self. Ones hidden identity and the public persona one presents to the outside world square off in a mental tug-of-war for ascendency. Which is the real me? The one I sense inside myself or the one I show the world?

Clearly, identity, even when well-formed in adulthood, changes and morphs over time, for better or worse. This evolution reminds me of a line from the Indigo Girls: Were sculpted from youth . . . the chipping away makes me weary. Some who feel theyve lost their prior sense of self talk about how difficult life circumstances, poor decisions or behavioral problems gradually eroded their previously stable self-image, leaving them feeling ill-defined. Such folks contradict the assertion that identity is stable over time.

We know certain attitudes and behaviors can support a clear and healthy sense of self, even in the face of corrosive impacts due to challenging life situations and losses. High among these is authenticity. Being real is an implicit affirmation of self, a way of saying yes to who one is. Then, there is self-compassion, which acknowledges ones flawed humanity rather than rejecting the self for failing to be perfect. Also, contemplative practices, like journaling and meditation, increase self-awareness, keeping ones identity in clear view. Another helpful element is acting from purpose, because meaning is central to a positive identity. As the philosopher Nietzsche said, Those who have a why to live for can bear almost any how. Purpose anchors identity, holding it fast in the face of lifes tempests.

In the movie Batman Begins, Bruce Waynes lady friend, Rachel, reminds him, Its not who you are underneath; its what you do that defines you. Identity is partly innate temperament, partly upbringing, partly life circumstances, but, in the end, mostly the choices one makes.

For more, visitphilipchard.com

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Pondering the Question 'Who Am I?' - Shepherd Express

I cant do it, I wailed to my editor. I cant write about the new Saved by the Bell reboot.

My editor, obviously wondering why Peacocks new reboot of the famous 90s sitcom, released on Thanksgiving, had me so discombobulated, pressed me for details. She had, after all, asked me to watch it and deliver a routine review, and this was clearly not the reaction she anticipated.

So I proceeded to have an existential meltdown in Slack over a show where, among countless other ridiculous moments, Mario Lopez explains male privilege to two obviously 20-something high schoolers by pointing to the words toxic masculinity on the cover of Self magazine.

Is that funny? Is it supposed to be? Im no longer sure, just like Im no longer sure what comedy means in general in showrunner Tracey Wigfields relentlessly meta framework. Based on the iconic 90s high school sitcom, which was frequently (and knowingly) terrible, the reboot also expects us to laugh at how cheesy it is. The new show is I think supposed to be cringey but cute, equal parts wince-worthy and nostalgic.

But after watching all 10 episodes, Im still not sure whether that nostalgia is supposed to be for the original Saved by the Bell or for a time when we could even straightforwardly watch a show like Saved by the Bell, with its easy, pre-ironic internet era moral framework. My editor probably wanted me to map out this difference more neatly than I have in this piece, but thats the quandary this show presents me with: How can we know whether Saved by the Bell is ironic or sincere when the show itself doesnt seem sure either?

NBCs Saved by the Bell revival reboot tries admirably to update a frequently problematic show for a new woke generation. (This show is begging me to describe it as woke, especially with quotes, so fine, show, you win.)

In the reboots opening moments, we learn that former class clown/current governor of California Zack Morris has cut $10 billion from the states education budget in order to revive the fossil fuel industry. Its supposed to be a joke Zack says he just Googled what the last administration did but its also the device that fuels the plot for the rest of the season. Kids from underprivileged schools that were shut down by the cuts start flocking to Bayside, the ritzy upper-class high school Zack once attended and where his son Mac now follows in his footsteps. Zacks besties, Jessie Spano and A.C. Slater, also now work at the school as the guidance counselor and football coach, respectively, their longtime on-again/off-again relationship currently off. The actors from the original series, including Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez as Zack and Slater, reprise their original roles, though the spotlight stays on the new students.

Bayside plays home mainly to rich white kids who hang out at the vague school diner-lounge called the Max, which still looks like someones 1993 Trapper Keeper. When three new kids, Daisy, DeVonte, and Aisha, show up to the school, they have to contend with the other students breezy indifference to things like classism, white privilege, and sociopolitics.

The humor and wacky hijinks that follow from this setup can be charmingly savvy, nodding to the premises inherent social complications (I know our school library was just a Bible and a bunch of Army pamphlets, goes one choice quote from the transplanted students). The show can also be almost Dadaist, in the worst way, courtesy of jokes that are frequently little more than random pop culture references made for the sake of making them. Like I got DJ Khaleds baby to make you a playlist, or the running joke about Selena Gomezs kidney that sparked online backlash and which NBC rapidly pulled from one episode. Theres also this line from the pilot that haunts me: I read a Facebook article about an underground sex cult where kids snort Baby Yoda. Why?

And its not like I dont love a good random pop culture reference. But Saved by the Bell blatantly takes The Big Bang Theorys shallow you just shouted a bunch of shit formula of invoking geek cred and swaps it out for celebrity name-dropping to invoke preppy suburban Los Angeles life. Its a superficial stand-in for both world-building and humor, and it fails on both fronts.

In between all its corny self-references and baffling pop culture jokes, the new Saved by the Bell does try to spin a heartwarming tale of friendship overcoming class and racial divides, 2020-style. DeVonte learns the value of authenticity from trans cheerleader Lexi, played with pitch-perfect zeal by trans actress Josie Totah. (Shes perfect and I love her.) The PTA is run by a villainous Karen, while the other school moms have names like Joyce Whitelady. Then theres Daisy, who flounders between resentment and envy of her new friends: She joins the Flat Earth Society just because its an extracurricular. At one point, she gets caught up in a power trip and starts acting like a rude rich lady in short order, before checking herself and teaching all her new friends about empathy and power dynamics.

I dont want to be totally negative here: The shows cast is endearing. Most of them are sincere and wholesome, which helps sell the seasons storyline, in which they ultimately unite against systemic racism and learn life lessons about coexistence. But in its attempt to be sincerely woke in a parodic context (Stop having empathy for the wrong person! Daisy snaps at one point), the reboot sometimes teeters on the brink of becoming a completely non-woke meta-parody of wokeness. Thats probably not what the shows writers intended, but its the risk you take when the shows attempts at sincerity are part of the joke.

The whole conceit of reviving an un-woke 90s series for a much more progressive 2020 audience is an exercise in tongue-in-cheek self-awareness. (See a string of similar recent 90s reboots, from 90210 to Dallas.) So its perhaps inevitable that the reboot becomes not just a parody of the original Saved by the Bell, but also a superimposition of modern-day political sensibilities onto the old shows concepts to see if they can coexist.

So we get a show thats rife with constant send-ups of 90s teen comedy and self-parody. We get high school seniors with obviously receding hairlines and boomer wrinkles. We get an episode where Bayside stages a cheesy teen beach musical about a surfing champ Army veteran whos happy to sing about the horrors of war. And we get all the worst and/or campiest traits of the original show (like Zacks misogyny, the Maxs vagueness, and a disinterest in any other students besides the main characters) trotted out, pointed to, and then made fun of. Its all loud and clunky, just like the oversize 90s phone our hero Daisy (in Zack Morriss original role as audience surrogate) is forced to carry around.

Thats not to say that the show is a nonstop woke parody, but its most sincere moments almost feel more parodic than its moments of cheek. We see this particularly with the characters from the original series. Zack, Kelly, Jessie, and Slater have all returned in part to do penance for the original series to admit what jerks they used to be as teens and prove how much theyve grown. In one episode, Slater apologizes for making fun of Jessie, his love interest on the original series, when they were kids. In a speech that could have come straight from peak Tumblr fandom, he recounts how the original show mocked Jessies activism and progressive values. But she won in the end, he passionately declares, because, Todays kids are all Jessies!

These modernized sitcom teaching moments come across like Disneyfied progressivism for kids, and maybe theres a space for that in todays tween TV landscape. Except this show is also clearly aimed at capturing an audience of boomers and millennials who loved the original Saved by the Bell in all its cheesiness. What are those viewers taking away from this absurdist unfunny meta-parody, except that the shows sociopolitics are, well, absurd?

Okay, deep breaths. I know this is all a lot to process. Were talking about a show that made me sit through a running joke where Mac turns himself into a payphone. Im not proud of how much Im overthinking it.

Still, I think these questions are fundamental ones. People tend to ask the same question about reboots of beloved-but-dated 90s shows: Do we even need this? (The answer is almost always no.) The questions this not-so-complicated version of Saved by the Bell invites us to ask are somehow more complicated, about whether its even possible to make woke comedy without setting up the work to be accused of not being woke enough. After all, whats ever going to be woke enough?

If theres any show the Saved by the Bell reboot made me consistently nostalgic for, its Community, another NBC comedy about drastically different students learning to coexist. But if Community managed to stay brilliantly funny while showcasing its diversity and self-referentiality, it also already feels outdated; its way of reconciling sociopolitical tensions by, for example, just coexisting with well-meaning racist Chevy Chase now feels hopelessly naive. But is Saved by the Bells guilt-ridden, perpetual lampshading of itself the best way to ethically perform a goofy school comedy these days, when writers rooms and audiences are hyper-aware of the importance (and pitfalls) of telling diverse stories well?

I really hope not. Still, I think the series actually deserves points for trying. In 2020, the easy fantasy of a quickly resolvable sitcom conflict is both an escapist dream and a weak excuse to avoid confronting reality. Saved by the Bell, with its neon opening credits, its weirdly autotuned theme song, its cast of former teen idols, and its endless litany of dad jokes, seems to want to rebrand these escapist fantasies as earnest optimism.

The teens of the Saved by the Bell reboot choose friendship and loyalty over scheming and stratagems; they listen, grow, learn, and evolve. Yes, its ham-fisted and improbable. But maybe its the sort of back-to-basics approach many viewers, old and new, will appreciate. Then again, maybe its a superficial, condescending insult to the real challenges modern teens face.

But Saved by the Bell never remotely pretended to be realistic. Maybe all the reboot needs to be now is 100 percent itself, too however messy and daffy and fumbling that is. And for my editor, who wanted a conclusive theme to come from this existential crisis, maybe its just this: that in this era of pandemics and political extremes, were all just fumbling along and doing our awkward best, snorting Baby Yoda and hoping for better jokes to come along. Maybe, mentally, at the end of 2020, were all just sitting in homeroom, zoning out on the teachers, waiting for the bell to get us out of here.

At least in TV Land, the bell actually rings.

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Review: The Saved by the Bell reboot gave me an existential crisis - Vox.com

Whom should you hire?

Thats a question you ask yourself often, and you strive to be fair with it by hiring the best person for the job, no matter what. But what if the person doesnt fit with your team? Can you truly keep gender, race, sexuality and different beliefs out of your hiring process and your workplace? Or, as in The Leaders Guide to Unconscious Bias: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection, and Create High-Performing Teams by Pamela Fuller and Mark Murphy with Anne Chow, do you need to do better?

Ad schedules, HR concerns, budgets, board meetings is there any wonder why your head is full? Not really: According to Fuller, Murphy and Chow, our brains absorb millions of bits of information each second were awake, but were unable to process all but about 40 of those bits at any one time.

To help deal with the overload, the brain creates shortcuts which lead to unconscious bias, defined as a subliminal preference for or against a thing, person or group, compared with another. That can include sexuality, personality, gender identity, nationality, attractiveness or race, among other things you may (overtly or not) notice about an individual.

As employees of FranklinCovey, Fuller and Murphy use the performance model to explain what might be done about unconscious bias, which is as detrimental to a business as is open bias. The first step is to identify where your unconscious bias lies through a process of self-awareness, knowing how you got your biases and recognizing bias traps.

Secondly, focus on bringing others together through a culture of belonging. Be authentic, cultivate a curiosity about people, mind your words and work to ensure that employees and customers are represented in your business.

Thirdly, use careful courage to stand up for yourself and to pay attention to whats being done or said. Check yourself for any assumptions you may have on promotions, assignments or hiring. Have the courage to know when you need more self-work.

Finally, learn how the talent lifecycle can put this knowledge in action for good and for the good of all. Your team will thank you for it.

The very first thing youll want to know about this book is that its well-considered and thorough. The second thing youll want to know is that whats outlined within will require considerable work.

Thats something its authors freely admit. Its also going to take serious introspection, the possible discomfort of which isnt so much discussed here, though its hard to complain when the authors themselves are as forthcoming and honest as they are in their self-anecdotes. Fuller is a Black woman, Murphy is a gay man and Chow is Asian American, and their shared experiences very strongly illustrate the points they make.

Still, in this day and age, you cant ignore homogeny at the workplace any longer. You need the advantages that will come with The Leaders Guide to Unconscious Bias. Read it, absorb it and take your team higher.

The Leaders Guide to Unconscious Bias: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection, and Create High-Performing Teams by Pamela Fuller and Mark Murphy with Anne Chow. 304 pages. Simon & Schuster. $28.

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Overcoming workplace bias - The Miami Times

In a recent edition of Pediatric News, Dr. Barbara Howard discusses manners. Manners are important for ones group or society. It allows the group a sense of togetherness and the person itself acceptance in the group. Use of manners instantly suggests a more trustworthy person.

Manners are the basis of a civil society. Manners allow the members of a particular society to have mutual respect, good communication and team work. Each society or group has specific normal behaviors, which are considered good manners. This helps the person with these behaviors be part of the group but also identifies those with different manners as other.

Children with memorized rote skills are liked better by their peers and their teachers. Social skills are extremely important, and some children may need overtraining to achieve them. Good manners may make the difference between being allowed in or expelled from classrooms, libraries, clubs, teams or religious institutions.

There are three main categories of manners: hygiene, courtesy and cultural norm manners.

Hygiene manners, everything from using the toilet to not picking ones nose, have obvious health benefits of not spreading disease. Hygiene manners take time to teach, but parents are motivated and helped by natural reactions of disgust.

Courtesy manners require a developing self-awareness (I can choose to act this way) and awareness of social status (Im not more important than everyone else). These insights begin in toddlerhood. Modeling manners around a child is the most important way to teach courtesy.

Parents usually start teaching with please and thank you. Manners are most believable when they occur promptly as they do when they become a habit. When these behaviors are instilled early and become automatic, they are seen as genuine.

Modeling good manners is the best way to teach toddlers and preschoolers. Praise for manners is a simple start. Praise for the basics: to say hello, please, thank you, excuse me, youre welcome or would you help me, please?

Good manners also include avoiding raising ones voice, not interrupting and apologizing when appropriate. Shaming, yelling and punishing doesnt get rid of bad manners as it shows disrespect of the child, who will likely give it back.

Cultural norm manners are the manners of culture and society by which a person establishes an identity and membership in a given socio-cultural group.

Teenagers are likely to use a different code of behavior to fit in with a subgroup such as a gang or a team, for example. It could be something as simple as a secret handshake or as problematic as socially unacceptable behaviors. Teens need to understand the value of learning, practicing and using manners for their own well-being.

Good manners will be a benefit for their group and for their nation. Failure to demonstrate socially appropriate behavior can make a person appear threatening and could result in rough, life-threatening responses. Think of teens and police.

Oliver Wendell Holmes felt when people are ignorant of or choose not to use manners, they may be seen as other and hostile. This may lead to distrust, dislike and lowered ability to find common ground.

Thank you for reading about manners and modeling them.

Sally Robinson is a clinical professor of pediatrics at UTMB Childrens Hospital. This column isnt intended to replace the advice of your childs physician.

Originally posted here:
Manners are important to teach our children | Health | The Daily News - Galveston County Daily News

By Gwen Moran4 minute Read

Its finally happening. Youre about to get that big promotion. Youre on the cusp of landing that enormous client. Theres interest in your book proposal.

Then, you miss a big deadline, make a preventable mistake, or otherwise do something that could undermine all of your hard work. If youve ever been on the cusp of achieving something big, then done something dumb to screw it up, you might be engaging in workplace self-sabotage.

Unfortunately, its extremely common, says organizational psychologist Laura Gallaher, founder and CEO of Gallaher Edge, a leadership and behavioral science consulting firm. Another way I look at self-sabotage is people getting in their own way.

The triggers for undermining our own hard work arent always obvious, but there are some ways to recognize and stop the behaviors. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Why would someone deliberately hurt their own efforts to get ahead? Sometimes, the motivation is rooted in self-protection, Gallaher says. First and foremost, [self-sabotage is] when humans are making choices, to actually protect themselves against internal feelings about themselves that are painful and they want to avoid, she says. It ends up distorting how they see the world, and it makes them feel less effective in their behavior.

Award-winning jazz keyboardist and entrepreneur Marcus Johnson, author of For the Love ofLiving the Journey of Life with Intention, Love, Passion, and Happiness, says that part of the reason he sees people self-sabotage is that they were never taught to manage success. The thought that we could move on and become something more may threaten the relationships we have or the way we see ourselves, and that could cause disconnection from the people we care about, he says. That can create fear of being alone. [You] trigger your sympathetic nervous system, into fight or flight to make you stop doing what youre doing at a level of success, because you fear that you will be alienated from those who you care about, or those who you think that have your best interest [in mind], he says.

Good, old-fashioned impostor syndrome can be a contributing factor, too, says organizational psychologist Katy Caselli, founder and president of Building Giants, LLC, a workforce development training firm. We fear were not capable of doing that thing we want to do, or were afraid others will think were unqualified. I talk to so many people who are being stopped by fear, Caselli says. If they could just kind of nudge themselves through that, then those future pathways will be so much easier.

The way we engage in self-sabotage can take a number of forms, Gallaher says. It may present in defensiveness and the physiological response that a defensive state triggers. That self-protection mode makes it difficult to hear feedback or information clearly, she says.

Caselli says its common for self-sabotagers to engage in negative interactions in the office, such as negative talk, badmouthing co-workers, or gossip, which can ultimately lead to negative consequences. Disengagement and procrastination are also common, she says. Being checked out may be a form of protection. Maybe they got some feedback that really stings them, she says. And they say, Well, fine, Im not going to put my neck out there.' By withdrawing, they may become more careless and prone to mistakes or they may seem as if they are willfully ignoring well-intentioned advice. They have a hard time recovering from what may be a coaching moment or a feedback moment where their boss or someone else is trying to get them going in the right direction, she says.

Self-sabotaging behavior may also be a sign of a more serious issue like burnout or depression, so be sure to examine whether the issue needs to be addressed with a mental health or health care professional, Caselli says.

Left unchecked, self-sabotaging behaviors can infect cultures, Gallaher says. Anybody whos coming into that culture, that organization, looks around and they start to think, Okay, this is how its done here,' she says.

Preventing self-sabotage begins with self-awareness, Gallaher adds. The more you can be honest with yourself and accept yourself the way you are, the better able you are to quiet the mean girl voice that can set off these behaviors, she says. Negative self-talk can exacerbate impostor syndrome and make it seem easier to withdraw and detach from accomplishments and goals.

Johnson often sees self-sabotage in the creative and business worlds. The most successful people he knows create systems and support in their lives to help them avoid such destructive behaviors. For example, having mentors or close professional colleagues who can understand the challenges or obstacle youre facing and help you get perspective can short-circuit the tendency to avoid situations that may stretch our capabilities and help us grow, he says. Develop habits that support the behaviors and achievements you want in your life, he says. And when you do find yourself undermining your own goals, call yourself out.

If you dont acknowledge it, then theres no way for you to deal with it, he says. Then, once you do name the behaviors, explore the underlying feelings and whats causing them. Thats when you can begin to find the people, resources, and solutions you need to stop the painful cycle.

Caselli agrees. Finding help for the specific issue youre having can help you overcome self-sabotage quicker than going it alone. Find someone external to look at their problem and help them figure it out. Because I think a lot of people just try this on their own, and they struggle, and they struggle, and they struggle. So, one of the biggest things they can do is reach out for someone to help them out, she says.

Gwen Moran is a writer, editor, and creator of Bloom Anywhere, a website for people who want to move up or move on. She writes about business, leadership, money, and assorted other topics for leading publications and websites

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How to recognize and stop self-sabotage at work - Fast Company

We're not going to sugarcoat it: 2020 was a challenging year for mental and emotional well-being.

"Mental health is the silent pandemic that is also happening right now," says Uma Naidoo, M.D., nutritional psychiatrist, chef, nutrition expert, and author of This Is Your Brain on Food. "With lockdowns, quarantine, physical distancing, and ongoing uncertaintyloneliness is at its peak for many. The individuals who are thriving are few and far between, as the majority of individuals are lonely and isolated with limited supports."

Renowned clinical neuroscientist psychiatrist Daniel Amen, M.D., calls this intersection of mental health and COVID-19 "pandemic squared," which refers to the way COVID has been multiplied by a subsequent pandemic of psychological problems, such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and addiction.

Data supports these observations, too. A survey in JAMA, which included 1,441 respondents from during COVID-19 and 5,065 respondents from before the pandemic, found the prevalence of depression symptoms was three times higher during the COVID-19 pandemic than before. What's even more devastating, in August of this year, the CDC released data that among the 5,412 adults they surveyed, more than 10% said they seriously considered suicide in the past 30 days (compared to 4.3% in 2018).

We would also be remiss not to mention the significant toll this year has taken on the BIPOC community. As Eudene Harry, M.D., wrote for mindbodygreen in October, BIPOC individuals already face racism-related vigilance, "the adverse stress response that comes from living with the constant expectation of experiencing racial discrimination in your daily life." With the added weight of a pandemic that has disproportionately affected BIPOC and a push for justice against police brutality and systemic racism2020 has been trying, to say the least.

While the data from 2020 can seem discouraging, it was also a year of turning inward, with more people becoming proactive about their mental health. "2020 has taught us that instead of sticking metaphorical Band-Aids on things, escaping from symptoms, or simply chasing temporary relief, we have to look at the source and redesign a life," Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, a psychologist and executive coach. In fact, according to a report published by Mental Health America, the number of people seeking help for mental health has drastically increased this year: 93% more people took their anxiety self-screening test and accessed immediate resources from their website this year, compared to 2019.

Roxanna Namavar, D.O., psychiatrist and integrative medicine practitioner, says she's similarly noticed her patients paying more attention to what's happening in their bodies, along with seeking ways to take better care of their physical and mental health. "There's been a lot of slowing down and figuring out what they really need," she says. "I've noticed more awareness of the present moment, and I think that's going to continue from a mental health perspective."

Companies and startups are also working to keep up with the demand for more accessible mental health care. In fact, venture capital funding of U.S. mental health startups totaled $1.37 billion through the third quarter of 2020, which outpaced the $1.06 billion in 2019, according to PitchBook data. The meditation app Calm, for example, raised $75 million, and the company is now valued at $2 billion. While the first mental health gym, Coa, is supported by several notable angel investors, including professional basketball player and mental health advocate Kevin Love, who recently spoke about mental health challenges on mindbodygreen's podcast. "The first thing is realizing that it's normal to feel this way," Love told mbg. "It can be tough to realize so many people are suffering and going through a lot of pain, but on the other side, it's really powerful knowing you're not alone or isolated."

With the heightened awareness around mental health, its important connection to physical health, and vice versawe're confident mental well-being will continue to take priority in 2021. We've already seen some significant upticks in mental health services and priorities to accommodate these tumultuous times, and here's how we predict mental health care will continue to grow and evolve as we head into the new year.

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2021 Will Be The Year Of Mind Gyms, Tele-Therapy & The Rise Of Mental Fitness - mindbodygreen.com

David Finchers Mank, streaming on Netflix, is a movie about the movies. Its set in the 1930s, when monolithic studios had monopolised film production, distribution and exhibition. They also owned the artistes through work contracts. Mank is about ownership, too, but the studios form the backdrop. At the centre of it are two individuals a young maverick, Orson Welles, and a seasoned screenwriter, Herman Mankiewicz. It is the tussle between an auteur and an author and at stake is the writing credit for an iconic American drama, Citizen Kane (1941). But stripped to its essence, Mank is the story of a writer, a writer drowning in words, misery and alcohol; a man with a blazing wit who often burnt himself.

Mank alternates between two time periods: 1940, when a bedridden Mankiewicz (Gary Oldman) recovering from a broken leg, has to finish the films screenplay in 60 days and the immediate past, chronologically sweeping the 30s, depicting the writers evolving relationships with a newspaper tycoon, William Randolph Hearst (Charles Dance), and his mistress, Marion Davies (Amanda Seyfried), who are about to become characters in his screenplay. If Citizen Kane were about the rise and fall of a media baron about the glitz and gloom of American success then Mank is a making of that making, a meta-narrative approach that also tells the story of Hollywood.

Fincher recreates that era with earnest simplicity, occasionally using our knowledge of the people and period to sly comedic effect. The black-and-white visuals evoke vintage Hollywood. Welles gets a dramatic entry filmed from behind with a tilted camera befitting his persona. The contrasts between him and his collaborator are stark: the wonderkid about to shake Hollywood, a washed-up veteran tired of the industry. A filmmaker given complete creative control; a writer barely in control of himself. A filmmaker who will not take no for an answer, a writer assailed by numerous questions.

The introduction to different flashback segments appearing on the screen in the format of a screenplay (Ext. Paramount Studios Day 1930), accompanied by the sound of a typewriters ding furthers the playful, meta feel. The early Hollywood portion, taking cues from its central character, is relaxed and droll. Mankiewicz knows that hes just a writer, and uses self-deprecating humour to dilute his self-loathing. There are other visual and verbal references highlighting the decade: chats about talkies, gangster flicks and zanies; deep dissolves and circular cue marks; an upbeat punctuating jazz score. Theres also self-awareness about the writing process. You cannot capture a mans life in two hours, Mankiewicz tells Welles associate a challenge unifying both Citizen Kane and Mank.

Also read: Exploring the Final Years of Orson Welles, the Errant Genius Cast Out by Hollywood

The movie becomes increasingly political, as it digs deep into the 30s the decade of the Great Depression, of social, political and economic change showing the seamy side of the film industry. The robber barons had waned by then, but Hollywood, still controlled by a few conglomerates, continued living in the Gilded Age. Louis Meyer (Arliss Howard) , the co-founder of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, a glib talker and a smooth suit, announces the slashing of workers salaries with faux empathy, calling his studio a good family. Mank registers these changes with impressive lightness, evolving into a film probing the fissures between labour and capital. That strife also marked California, Hollywoods home, where Upton Sinclair, a famous novelist and a socialist, ran for the states governor as a Democratic nominee. Hollywood fought back by backing a propaganda documentary.

It is this background that illuminates the foreground, where Mankiewicz, a sympathiser of workers rights, starts feeling isolated. The pomp of his social circle comprising studio executives, actors, business magnates pricks him. Spending time with people who lack political awareness and literary appreciation, Mankiewicz is often both the smartest and the dumbest person in the room. This circus, resembling a kings court, revolves around Hearst, giving Mankiewicz a ringside view of a world that prioritises power over people a story of capitalist American excess, of Hollywood and, ultimately, of Charles Foster Kane.

Examining avarice, vanity and artistic compromise, Mank could have been a gloomy drama. But it is surprisingly tender in several segments. Fincher occasionally liberates Mankiewicz from the tropes of a tormented writer to reveal his latent softer side. The best example of that is a scene in Hearsts estate or Xanadu, as Citizen Kane would call it where, amid a late-night party, Mankiewicz goes on a long walk with Davies. In that brief stretch, he is the best version of himself: sensitive, acerbic, funny. He bares the hypocrisy of Hollywood elites, expresses his admiration for Sinclair, and recites poetry deftly melding his lines with those of Cervantes.

As they amble outside Hearsts mansion which is so huge that it accommodates varied wildlife the scenes verbal and visual elements commingle in a quiet dance. When Mankiewicz says, Jail is not something an animal like Mayer is likely to forget, an elephant trumpets in the distance, raising its trunk, as if taking offence to that comparison. Later, as he concludes a story about Sinclairs artistic integrity, he points towards a craning giraffe, saying, Now thats sticking the old neck out.

Such linguistic finesse recurs throughout the film a style befitting the protagonist, for he was a renowned wit. Originally written by Jack Fincher the filmmakers father and later reworked by Eric Roth and David, Mank pays tribute to the screenwriter through sharp, funny lines. Mankiewicz cautions the director of a propaganda film thus: What youre making is not a newsreel: it is not news, and it is not real. To a pestering union member: What the Screen Writers Guild needs is an apostrophe. On seeing Davies on a film set, where shes standing on wood logs about to be burned at the stake: Well, whats at stake here? Moments later, when she bums a cigarette from him, something literally burns at the stake. When his nurse shares a drink with him, saying prosit, as hes working on the screenplay, it sounds like a literary command: Prose it.

Podcast | Censoring OTT Platforms Will Handicap Film Makers, Audiences: Zoya Akhtar

Oldman turns in an arresting, entertaining performance. He excels at depicting Mankiewiczs disenchantment with the world lurching from benign to fiery via a unique mlange of humour, anger and snark. Mankiewicz was a man of many moods, and Oldman sustains that intrigue. Seyfried is equally compelling. Her Davies always craves a home: a loudmouth like Mankiewicz, she feels out of place in the Hollywood parties, where painful propriety is an unspoken rule. Seyfried makes Davies vulnerable, candid and funny a stark contrast to the people she lives and works with implying that she is acting even when the cameras are not rolling.

This is Finchers most personal film. His father, Jack, had written a few screenplays, but none of them saw the screen. So, Mank is also a filial tribute: a son immortalising his father 17 years after his death. Fincher has never written his directorial projects, but here he bats for a writer, showing warm artistic empathy. Mank doesnt dispute Welles genius but spotlights a writers contribution, dimmed by the passage of time and obscured by the wattage of a filmmakers brilliance.

The movie ends with Citizen Kane winning the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. Neither Welles nor Mankiewicz turned up for the ceremony. It then cuts to the voice of the real Welles in a radio press conference, commenting on the win and taking a dig at his co-author. Mankiewicz appears on the screen next, holding the Oscar, giving an informal acceptance speech. True to his nature, he humbles Welles through word play and humour. In Mank, the writer has the last laugh and the last word.

Link:
Mank: A Writerly Life of Words, Alcohol and Inner Conflicts in 1930s Hollywood - The Wire

Article by: Jane Adshead-Grant, ICF MCC Executive Coach and Mentor Coach, emerging faculty member with Time to Think and an ambassador of Truly Human Leadership, UK

What does it mean to be a Thinking Environment and why does it matter?

What if 2020 is the perfect vision we have been given to see the world afresh, with new eyes, open hearts, and ears to listen more deeply, free from judgement?

What if 2020 is the year we embrace change, in a way unlike what we have ever done in the past?

Nancy Kline observed: the quality of everything we do and feel as a human being depends on the quality of the independent thinking we do first. Furthermore, I notice that what and how we think determines how we show up in the way we connect with others. And, what we think impacts our lives in the way that we feel: joy or sadness, liberated or limited, hope or resignation.

What if we would, more intentionally, generate the best thinking in others and ourselves, for the good of all? What if with creativity, courage and commitment we chose to become a thinking environment for others?

A radical approach

Being a thinking environment is radical because we are inviting people to think for themselves, as themselves. In our society, from our earliest days, through our education system, we have been given information to learn and regurgitate and we have been told to conform. We are rewarded for taking in the knowledge of those more experienced around us, and then repeating it back or rewriting it.

Listening free of judgement, with empathy

To be a thinking environment for others is to master the art of listening, free of interruption, free of judgment. When we listen free of judgment, we allow the mirror neurons of empathy to do their work.

Listening to free rather than to direct the mind

To be a thinking environment for others is to free them. It is to free their mind rather than direct it. Generating the best independent thinking in others in this world is rare. It is rare because people are not used to doing it or experiencing it.

Listening to release creativity

Being a thinking environment for others enables creativity to emerge. The thinking it can ignite way outside the box never, ever ceases to amaze me. The nature of independent thinking is our capacity to tap into that innate creativity, that willingness to be a vulnerable explorer. Because when we remove the outer layers we have put on over the years, to protect ourselves and others the layers accumulated through our experiences, the environments we have lived and worked in, the people we have met we reveal the innate creativity and resourcefulness we have been granted as a human being.

Listening to deepen self-awareness

It is a privilege to hold a non-judgmental view, a positive philosophical view, that the human being in front of me, the mind in front of me, is an oasis of richness.

To witness their gifts and their talents, some of which they may not realise they have, or have not surfaced because they havent been given the opportunity to express themselves as themselves. To observe the sense of ease they experience, free from the need to be or say what they think others want them to be or say.

Listening with the promise not to interrupt

Its not just that Im not going to interrupt you. Its the fact that you know Im not going to interrupt you. That is the difference and it is significant. Because it gives you that chance to really think for yourself, not being in fear that, any minute, Im going to jump in, either to paraphrase what youve said, to seek understanding or to ask you a question that will take you away from your thoughts and feelings.

How do we help others think well for themselves?

The finest independent thinking emerges when we demonstrate a particular set of behaviours towards others. Applied individually they make a difference to the quality of thinking. Embodying them as a system has a transforming effect. Helping others to think well for themselves with rigour, courage, imagination and grace is to behave in ways that let other people know that they matter. Heres how we can do it.

Giving our attention

Giving my attention, a palpable respect for what you are saying, an interest in where you might go next, and a promise that I wont interrupt you as you share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Being at ease

Being at ease ourselves as the listener, free of the internal rush that we might have or the urgency that life might impose upon us will enable others to think more clearly.

Holding equalityHolding the sense of equality that we all have equal capacity to think for ourselves, as ourselves, and that we will take equal turns to speak.

Giving encouragementGiving others courage, encouraging them to go to the edge of their thinking, perhaps where they havent thought before. We might ask: What more do you feel or think or want to say? to encourage them to think further and express more of how they feel.

Offering appreciationWhen we appreciate others for a quality we recognise in them five times more than we critique their learning needs or development areas they will think more imaginatively.

Expressing feelingsHolding a safe environment for others to express their feelings, freeing them to think more clearly. Pent up feelings, or fears of retribution for self-expression, cloud and stifle thinking.

Sharing informationHelping others think well for themselves means being willing to share information when they ask for it. The discipline here is to only offer information that comes from our own experience and feelings, free from attachment, that will assist their thinking further, rather than giving infantilising advice.

Celebrating differenceRecognising our differences and celebrating them. Each and every one of us is unique as a human being. That is the reality. And we all think better when we celebrate that difference and ensure that we bring it into our organisations, into our communities, into our projects, into our teams.

Asking incisive questionsDeveloping the capacity to ask incisive questions, those questions that bust through limiting assumptions. When we challenge a limiting assumption that is untrue, we can create a new, more liberating alternative and pose it in a question thats hypothetical, one that enables the brain to play rather than obey.

Creating a place that says you matterHelping others think well for themselves is to create a place that says You matter. It is about paying attention to the environment itself: Have I taken care of your needs? Is it free of distraction? Place also includes our own physical bodies. Are we refreshed so we can think well and contribute? And, as the listener, the quality of attention you are giving is generating a place that says you matter.

To be a thinking environment is to be a catalyst, to potentially ignite a transformation in others, to provide a space for them to be their best selves.

Why does it matter?

Transforming our perspectivesIm noticing, more than ever now, that its not the differences that generate the unrest, the disturbance, and the suffering that we see in our world today. It is the assumptions that we hold about those differences. The assumptions that we have grown up with. The assumptions we have become embroiled in from watching television or social media. And this is why independent thinking matters. Because it breaks limiting assumptions open. Because it liberates every one of us to think freely, to speak up for what we believe, what we know to be true. Each and every human being on this planet whatever colour, whatever gender, whatever age they are deserves to be treated with dignity.

Transforming our contributionsI believe that being a thinking environment is a gift, one that we can learn, we can practice, we can master. And when we do so, we are enabling somebody to be who they were meant to be. To think for themselves, as themselves. To enrich their own life, to contribute to the lives of others, and to make a difference in the world.

Transforming our strugglesThinking independently also generates a sense of hope. As I think of people Ive met, and stories of huge struggle Ive listened to, whats kept people going and got them out of struggle is their sense of hope. Taking a decision to show up as a thinking environment is to make a positive philosophical choice about people, and about the goodness in the world, and to be willing to create this environment for others. To resist the urge to interrupt. To resist the urge to fix somebody else. To resist the urge to fix the problem for somebody else. To create the opportunity for people to grow for themselves as themselves. To encourage them to navigate their way through a crisis and develop their gifts and talents as a human being. To respect and celebrate their uniqueness.

What if?What if 2020 is the perfect vision we have been given to see the world afresh, with new eyes, open hearts, and ears to listen more deeply, free from judgement? What if 2020 is the year we embrace change, in a way unlike we have ever done in the past? What if we would, more intentionally, generate the best thinking in others and ourselves, for the good of all?

As the International Coach Federation celebrates 25 years, these questions are high on our agenda. Join us in these reflections on how we as coaches and development professionals can help organisations and individuals thrive in the midst of the global challenges we all face together.

http://www.coachfederation.org/about

http://www.coachfederation.org.uk

http://www.experiencecoaching.com

Read more here:
A Thinking Environment | theHRD - The HR Director Magazine

EVENTS Virtual Author Reading: Jen Sincero Badass Habits. 5 p.m. Friday, Dec. 11, boulderbookstore.net. Tickets are $26-$36 on Eventbrite and include a copy of the book.

Habit busting and building goes way beyond becoming a dedicated flosser or never showing up late again our habits reveal our unmet desires, the gaps in our boundaries, our level of self-awareness, and our unconscious beliefs and fears. Badass Habits features Jen Sinceros trademark hilarious voice and offers a much-needed fresh take on the conventional wisdom and science that shape the optimism (or pessimism?) around the age-old topic of habits. The book includes enlightening interviews with people whove successfully strengthened their discipline backbones, new perspective on how to train our brains to become our best selves, and offers a simple, 21-day, step-by-step guide for ditching habits that dont serve us and developing the habits we deem most important.

The Eklund Opera Program brings the Brothers Grimm to Macky Auditorium with Engelbert Humperdincks decadent opera Hansel and Gretel. Indulge your imagination as you join two children venturing into the woods in search of something sweet to eat. With deliciously rich orchestration, simmering wit and a sumptuous witch hiding out in a candy-coated cottage, this famous fairy tale is delightful at any age.

On Dec. 11, the Firehouse Art Center hosts the fourth annual juried student show from Front Range Community Colleges Boulder County Campus in Longmont. Students experience the challenges and joys of presenting their work professionally, from documenting their pieces to professional framing. This year, as students have been unable to meet for classes on campus, the show provides what for many is the first opportunity to see their classmates recent work in person. The show is a competitive entry open to all art students from Fall 2019, Spring 2020, Summer 2020 and the current semester. Prizes are arranged in categories: 3D Design, Drawing, Photo and Painting. There will also be a Best of Show prize and a VP Purchase award, in which the college purchases work for its permanent collection.

Ring in the holidays with the spirited sounds of the brass and percussion sections of the Boulder Philharmonic. From Deck the Halls to music for Hanukkah, Gabrieli and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, this colorful and wide-ranging program is sure to leave you in the holiday spirit. This is a digital event offered to the community please give what you can to support the Boulder Phils mission and musicians.

This lecture will introduce klezmer music as a kind of Jewish dialogue, or Jewish discourse. Klezmer is Jewish instrumental music from Eastern Europe, and it comes from the same culture as the Yiddish literature of Sholem Aleichem, S. J. Abramovitsh and others. It makes sense that the music and literature of this culture would share certain features. But can we specify what those are? Or are music and literature too distinct? Professor Yonatan Malin will address these questions from cognitive, cultural and music-analytical perspectives. Musical examples will include recordings from the early 20th century to today. Register prior to the lecture.

Slow down to enjoy the winter scenery, sounds and seasonal changes with naturalist Martin Ogle. This walk is for adults and children age 8 and older. Meet at the entrance to Coal Creek just south of Ryan Elementary School where Centaur Village Drive ends at Centaur Circle. RSVP required.

For this virtual event, Opera On Tap Colorado pairs video artists with song cycles groups of songs that share a narrative theme to create something collaborative and also safe for singers and audience members. Five Opera on Tap Colorado singers Nnamdi Nwankwo, Asha Romeo, Jerome Sbulo, Luisa Marie Rodriguez and Julie Silver Campbell have recorded four song cycles of works by Richard Strauss, Ernesto Cordero, Robert Owens and Nkeiru Okoye. Four video submissions from around the country were chosen, including Cai (NYC), David Fodel (Colorado), Annanya George (Colorado) and Corwin Evans (Los Angeles).

The Kid. Through Dec. 13.

The great Charlie Chaplin wrote and directed his first feature-length film, The Kid, in 1921. He incorporates his usual slapstick comedy with an endearing story of the Little Tramps adoption of an orphaned kid of the streets, played by Jackie Coogan. As it says in an introductory title card, it is a story that brings a smile and perhaps a tear.

Mighty Like A Moose. Through Dec. 13.

Charlie Chase, one of the lesser known silent clowns, brings his whimsical touch to this short comedy. Mr. and Mrs. Moose each have physical attributes that need cosmetic attention. Once they visit the dentist and doctor, respectively, they are so wonderfully changed in appearance, they do not recognize each other and begin a madcap flirtation.

Three Summers. Through Dec. 30.

Showcasing the rare talents of Brazilian acting legend Regina Cas star of The Second Mother the latest feature from director Sandra Kogut is a brilliant comedy about gross class disparity and the infinite resourcefulness of those who can never take anything for granted.

Markie in Milwaukee. Through Jan. 1.

A 7-foot-tall fundamentalist Baptist minister, Markie Wenzel finally began living as female at age 46. It was a decision that ended her 20-year marriage, estranged her children and exiled her from the church that defined her. Filmed over a decade, Matt Kliegmans acclaimed documentary asks: When your loved ones wont accept you for who you are, how can you accept yourself?

When asylum-seeking immigrants are released from the Aurora ICE detention facility onto unfamiliar streets in Colorado, where can they go for help? Since 2012, Sarah Jackson and her team of volunteers at Casa de Paz have welcomed them into her home and helped to reunite them with their families.

This special film screening event will benefit three Gerogia-based immigrant hospitality groups El Refugio, Casa Alterna and Paz Amigos culminating in a panel discussion and Q&A including:

Anton Flores-Maisonet, founder of El Refugio and Casa Alterna

Michelle Fierro, El Refugios Post-Release Coordinator

Monica Whatley, Paz Amigos volunteer

Sarah Jackson, Casa de Pazs founder

Read more from the original source:
What to do when there's 'nothing' to do... - Boulder Weekly

By Kate Snowise5 minute Read

Working parents are living through not merely a global pandemic but a new version of the work/life balance conundrum. Parents of school-age children all over the country are trying to manage distance learning for their kids while also keeping up with work obligations and maintaining their sanity. As psychologist Heather Beckett puts it, were amid a COVID-induced work/life muddle that is unlike anything weve experienced before.

The American Psychological Association acknowledges this crisis creates extreme stress and highlights that parents are reporting significantly higher stress levels than their nonparent counterparts. Recent data suggests that Google searches have shifted away from concerns around COVID itself at the beginning of the pandemic to how we can deal with everything else that comes with it.

All working parents know this is hard, but what can we actually do to make ourselves feel better? Popular go-to stress management approaches encourage us to take up meditation, start doing more yoga, or peacefully inhale a few deep breaths to recenter ourselves. Yet when the pressure is mounting, the to-do list is never-ending, and you have a child in the background playing a recorder poorly during an online music class, being encouraged to take a deep breath or stretch it out does not feel useful. Its like telling an enraged human to calm downits unlikely to be received well. Practical approaches that make a noticeable difference are what were all craving.

During my training as a psychologist, I focused my research on stress management and well-being. I have since coached and trained thousands of individuals on how they can proactively manage the demands in their lives, and avoid falling into a pit of overwhelm and despair when the pressure comes on. Knowing the theory is great, but in reality, application matters more. During this bizarre year, Ive had to personally apply my expertise to cope with the extra stressors, as Ive navigated increasing client loads while also being the primary caregiver to 6- and 8-year-old boys.

As a working parent during COVID, these are the three areas I have focused on to help increase my self-awareness, build my resilience, and maintain my focus.

When were experiencing high pressure levels, our first go-to should always be to manage, mitigate, or reduce that pressure directly. This is referred to as problem-focused coping. These are active strategies that deal directly with the demands we face and focus on what we are actually going to do about it.

A little forethought into schedules and preparing for upcoming demands reduces the high-stress moments that can otherwise send us around the bend. Planning might look like taking a glance at your week before you launch in and mapping out where you will likely fit in key-work blocks. Or a simple stress-relieving hack is to create a weekly dinner plan, so that you arent on the back foot at the end of the day, scurrying around, trying to work out what to eat.

Planning helps you psychologically prepare for the demands youre facing and put a strategy in place to know what it will take to get it done or identify where you might need help. It keeps you on your front foot and minimizes the risk that youll end up in the stressful predicament of trying to play catch up further down the road.

Not all coping strategies are made equal. Some are adaptive, while others are maladaptive. When we cannot control the pressure were experiencing directly, we have to draw from our emotional energy stores and simply cope with it. This is called emotion-focused coping.

Self-care and social connection are positive and adaptive methods that restore our emotional energy. They fill us up and give us the energy to deal with another day. And while Im all for refilling our cups, research from early in the pandemic suggests that people are using more maladaptive coping strategies, such as numbing and avoidance, than adaptive strategies to deal with the COVID-19 pressures.

As humans, when we cant escape the pressure, we will naturally find a way to deal with it. When were feeling taxed, we often turn toward quick relievers that make us feel good in the short-term but undermine our emotional energy in the longer run. Examples of such maladaptive strategies may include drinking alcohol or abusing other substances, numbing out on social media, or overeating. They make us feel good in the moment, but ultimately harm us and erode our resilience in the longer term. Being conscious and honest about our coping habits helps us turn away from the strategies that will likely only bring us further down and towards those which are nourishing.

Mindset plays a crucial role in our ability to resist stress. How we perceive the pressure we are experiencing impacts how we cope with it. Recent research indicates that how difficult a parent perceives quarantine to be is a crucial factor that impacts both parents and childrens well-being. Simply put, if we are continually evaluating a situation as too much, or something we hate or dont want, we wont deal with it as well. Were too busy using up our emotional strength on resisting what merely is and are more likely to end up stressed and overwhelmed.

One of the greatest hacks to our perception that is also associated with our overall well-being is gratitude. While more recently, the positive psychology movement has highlighted the power of gratitude, our wisdom and spiritual traditions have always valued it. When we intentionally shift our focus to what we still have to be thankful for, we pull the energy away from all the things were not happy about or wish were different. Then we feel happier in our hearts, minds, and spirits. It shifts the lens through which we are viewing our situation and enables us to cope better.

A simple way to do this is to foster a daily practice of bringing to mind what you are grateful for. It can sound like a chore, but three minutes when you first sit at your desk and open your computer can shift your perspective for hours to come. While a quick and dirty 10 things youre grateful for list can help as an emergency perception shifter when you really need to refocus, it is even better if you make it a daily practice and weave it into your routine.

Kate Snowise (MS Psychology) is an executive coach and stress management expert, who helps leaders create balanced and fulfilling careers. To find out more, head to http://www.thrive.how.

Read the original here:
Parenting through the pandemic - Fast Company