Getting back up after traumatic experiences knock you down is something that the Stoke Mentor, Wolfgang Wolf, has learned a lot about.

Since having a major stroke in 1990, Wolfgang has focused on helping others overcome trauma through mentoring, coaching and public speaking in New Zealand and internationally.

This month he is the guest speaker at the Rodney Aphasia Groups meeting in Silverdale. Aphasia, which most commonly results from a stroke, affects a persons ability to communicate speak, read or write, and the Rodney Aphasia Group provides support and information for people with the condition, and their caregivers.

Wolfgang says something he always emphasises in his talks with community groups is the importance of adapting to change.

He says his childhood, which included several years in a refugee camp in Germany, created the tenacity and resilience that he needed in bucket-loads while recovering from the stroke.

You learn once you fall down, to get up and keep going, he says. One of the biggest mistakes people make is wanting to go back to their old life. No one can, because once you have had a traumatic experience, such as a stroke, things are not the same.

He says developing a positive mental attitude is key, but acknowledges that is easier said than done.It took me a long time and in fact Im still working on it, he says. Talking with people and coaching others focuses on those positive things.

His work includes coaching couples where one partner has a disability.

Your whole relationship is affected, he says. Its critical to remain a partner and not fall into the trap of being mainly a caregiver. That is difficult, and part of the solution is trying to get professional help.People are used to helping someone who is disabled, which can lead to being over protective, or helicoptering. I dont like that I prefer to do what I can for myself, but not everyone is like that.

While he adjusted to life in a wheelchair, Wolfgang wrote the book Im not stupid, just disabled,completed a Bachelor of Social Practice, and a Diploma in Community Development. He also founded Computers Against Isolation, a charity that provides computers for people who live with disabilities, and travels widely giving talks.

The Silverdale talk will cover Wolfgangs achievements as a stroke survivor but the emphasis will be on his experiences as a disabled traveller.

It is open to the public and will be held on September 26, at Rotary House, 4 Hibiscus Coast Highway, Silverdale, 1.30pm. Anyone interested in attending should email Lisa rodneyaphasiagroup@gmail.com or phone 0210 527 258.

Further info: wolfgangwolfthestrokementor.weebly.com/ Wolfgangs book is out of print, but a version is available on Amazon/Kindle. Rodney Aphasia Group http://www.rodneyaphasiagroup.co.nz

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Stroke mentor highlights need to keep moving forward - newsie.co.nz

THE FASHIONISTA TURNED BROADCASTER HAS RISEN SWIFTLY IN THE UK, BUT AS A NEW MUM WHO HAS BEEN OPERATING AT FULL THROTTLE FOR A FEW YEARS, SHE IS TRYING TO SLOW DOWN

Its a Thursday afternoon and Angela Scanlon is on a flying visit to Dublin. The broadcaster is here to help launch Taste the Island, a new Filte Ireland initiative aimed at showcasing the best of Irelands food and drink culture to visitors. Without being prompted, she launches into a verbal appraisal of Irelands culinary scene, namechecking the likes of cafe chain Sprout and Emilies, a restaurant in Glenbeigh, Co Kerry.

In many ways, there is no better woman for the job. Over the years, Scanlon has established herself as something of an unofficial poster girl for all things Irish, fronting campaigns for quintessentially Irish brands like An Post and Kerrygold. Its a phenomenon that Scanlon describes as lovely but also weird and a bit mental.

Like many Irish people who move abroad, she says being away from Ireland has given her a renewed sense of Irishness. Its kind of embarrassing how I come home like, Wow, it really is green and the people really are friendly, she laughs.

Irish people have this sense that home is always home. No matter how long youve lived abroad you will always reference coming home as coming back to Ireland. I think that is quite a uniquely Irish thing. That sense of being fiercely protective over our Irishness. That idea our accents might soften and the shame of it.

Originally from Ratoath in Co Meath, Scanlon first made her name as a stylist and fashion journalist. She became a fixture on Irish television, appearing on the likes of Xpos and Off the Rails, as well as Channel 4s Sunday Brunch. Soon she was tipped as the Irish heir apparent to the British trendsetter Alexa Chung. Vogue dubbed her as one to watch for 2013, and wrote that she was known for her humour, directness and upbeat cheerfulness.That year, she presented Oi Ginger!, a light-hearted one-off documentary about growing up as a redhead in Ireland.

It was around this time that Scanlon made a conscious decision to move away from fashion and focus on her nascent broadcasting career. She landed a co-hosting gig on the RT/BBC Northern Ireland travel series Getaways, and fronted her own documentary series for RT called Angela Scanlon: Full Frontal.

In the meantime, her career in the UK began to take off. Scanlon upped sticks and moved to London in 2014. She caught the eye of the BBC and has since become one of its go-to presenters, landing plum hosting gigs on the likes of The One Show with Alex Jones and Matt Baker, and Robot Wars with Dara Briain. More recently, she has hosted a property makeover show called Your Home Made Perfect, as well as a weekly radio show on BBC Radio 2.

In other words, her rise has been swift.Facebook recently reminded her that it had been four years since she fronted BBCs coverage of the T in the Park festival in Scotland. It was her first ever live television gig. Im like, Wow is that only four years ago? she says. Because it feels like so long ago and in another way it feels like only yesterday, which is quite a cliched thing to say.

Scanlon attributes her success to a sort of relentless hustle on her part. When she arrived in London, she says she approached things with a kind of fearlessness and recklessness.

When you first start out, there is a sense that you have literally nothing to lose, she says. I was like, I dont know anybody in telly and I dont have a clue what Im doing, but I quite fancy that.

There was a real power in that that I only appreciated in hindsight. That ability to arrive at things and go, Maybe this is a good idea. Can I email the head of the BBC and say Im really kind of great, you should meet me in this way that youre not really supposed to do, apparently.

The momentum and enjoyment I got out of that hustle did make things happen quite quickly, and it felt that there was progression, for sure. But I also worked my proverbial balls off for a really long time.

Alongside the likes of Aisling Bea, Sharon Horgan and Nicola Coughlan, Scanlon is part of a cohort of Irish women who are killing it in British television right now. The broadcaster believes Irish women these days carry themselves with a sort of confidence and swagger that may not have been there previously. Irish women historically have not had the best of times, she says. There was a sadness and shame, and theres a real defiance now.

That sense of defiance was on display during last years campaign to repeal the Eighth Amendment. Such moments instil a sense of national pride, Scanlon, says, while also standing in stark contrast to what is currently happening in the UK.

Its bittersweet living in the UK right now, because in a way the exact opposite is happening over there, she says. There is a poignancy to us having these milestones and changing and using those moments to define a new era of Ireland.

After a few years of operating at full throttle, Scanlon is now trying to slow down a little bit.

That drive and ambition is useful in an industry that is pretty tough, but you also realise that theres not very much joy in that relentless pushing of yourself, she says. I am trying to get a little bit of balance back into my life.

Despite appearances to the contrary, Scanlon says things havent been all plain sailing for the last few years. What we dont see behind the highlights reel on Instagram are the cancelled shows and the dream gigs that got away. Recently, she has tried to be more open about this.

Theres a fear in talking about your failures because its like, Ooh maybe its contagious, she says. Maybe if you didnt get one thing someone will see and youll never get anything again. Theres a denial. Lets not talk about it. Lets pretend it never happened. Lets pretend everything is great.

She recalls one particular low point, right after she gave birth to her daughter last year.

A few days after I came back from the hospital, I got a call and was told that a show that I had worked on wasnt being recommissioned, she says. I dont know whether it was crazy hormones or the fact I had a new human and was quite unsure about what the hell to do . . . but I wept. It was honestly as if my whole world had fallen apart. It sounds so dramatic, but it was purely because, you know, youre a brand new mother.

I was already grappling with the idea of how my identity was going to change with being a mother, and being defined by that. Now suddenly I was unemployed. It was awful.

Obviously that was contrasted with being able to look down at this brand new human and gaining a bit of perspective. But it was moment to moment like, How am I going to provide for her? and Hang on, who gives a sh**? Ive just created a life and this show is not that important. Maybe thats the biggest change for me with motherhood, apart from scheduling. That sense of perspective.

Next up for Scanlon is a new podcast series called Thanksa Million. Each episode will see her interview a well-known personality about the moments that should have broken them, but ultimately taught them something new or sent them on a different course and for which they are ultimately grateful.

Scanlon, a proud consumer of all things woo-woo, is a big fan of gratitude. Ive done therapy, she says. Ive read every self-help book under the sun. Ive tried everything and gratitude, although it sounds so fluffy, is one of the things that Ive found is such a quick fix.

Basically, I write gratitude lists and I change from being negative and pessimistic into somebody that is actually quite badass. Its the thing that I consistently go back to.

I remember reading that you are the best teacher of the thing you need the most, she says. This podcast is essentially a free way for me to get therapy, and to learn a positive attitude from people.

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Better balance: Angela Scanlon on the trade-off between work and motherhood - The Irish Times

Britain's Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, along with their infant son, Archie, are set to take their first official tour as a family, starting Monday in South Africa, whose president says women and children are "under siege" by violence. South Africa is still shaken by the rape and murder of a university student, carried out in a post office, that sparked protests by thousands of women tired of abuse and impunity in a country where more than 100 rapes are reported every day. This is "one of the most unsafe places in the world to be a woman," President Cyril Ramaphosa said Wednesday. Empowering women is one of the problems Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, will address on a 10-day, multicountry visit, along with wildlife protection, entrepreneurship, mental health and landmine clearance -- a topic given global attention by Harry's late mother, Princess Diana, when she walked through an active mine field during an Africa visit years ago. Some in South Africa said they are happy to see the arrival of Meghan, who has been vocal about women's rights and is likely to speak out again. The government has reported that more than 2,700 women were murdered last year as well as more than 1,000 children. It also reports that one in five women over age 18 has faced physical violence from a partner. Despite the recent unrest, the royal family likely will focus on the positive. Harry and Meghan also will visit the oldest mosque in South Africa and meet with Nobel Peace Prize winner and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. A "rare privilege and honor," Tutu and his wife, Leah, said Thursday.

Madeleine Albright said during a Missouri speech that democracy worldwide "appears to be in retreat." The 82-year-old former secretary of state who served during President Bill Clinton's administration spoke Thursday at Westminster College in Fulton, the site of Winston Churchill's famous "Iron Curtain" speech in 1946. Albright said the United States should engage with the world, not isolate itself, adding that President Donald Trump is helping to dismantle a world order embraced by presidents of both political parties since the end of World War II. "Because Missouri is the Show-Me State, I feel I must be blunt: Today we have a president who has become a source of comfort to anti-democratic forces across the globe, instead of rebutting and challenging them," Albright said to applause. Albright said current U.S. foreign policy echoes its post-World War I attitude, when many "embraced protectionism, downplayed the rise of fascism, opposed help to the victims of oppression and ultimately endangered our world's security."

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Names and faces - NWAOnline

Samm Coombs, Special to The Desert Sun Published 11:55 a.m. PT Sept. 20, 2019

Forget the world's problems, as the Coachella Valley has plenty of its own concerns to confront, writes Samm Coombs.(Photo: Illustration by Al Franco/The Desert Sun)

Lets for the moment forget about Californias problems, Americas problems and world problems.The Coachella Valley has enough of its own to keep us busy.

Heres a sampler of issues we face:

Our air quality:Seems the air that we breathe is among the worstin the U.S. One cause is fixable, the other is built-in to our geographyi.e., Los Angeles spews pollutants into our valley through the funnel provided by the San Gorgonio Pass. Prevailing winds add to our problem kicking up dust daily. A century of agricultural pesticides now being exposed by the dying Salton Sea already exacerbate the problem and promise to make it worse unless various governmental bodies bite the bullet to do something monumental, such as refill the sea with Gulf of California water.Dont hold your breath. (Actually, youll soon need to hold your breath to survive!) Every resident in the valley should raise a stink (pun intended) with county, state and federal authorities pointing out a multi-billion dollar fix today is infinitely cheaper than exponential economic losses as this crisis spirals.

Palm Springs future: The citys raison detreis (or was) its village-like atmosphere, a quality that's fast disappearing. Whatever quality you might assign to the current building boom, charming it is not! Theres no going back. What we have now is a commonplace urban environment in an uncommon setting. Sad.

Homelessness: This is a multi-faceted problem i.e., mental health, addiction, economic, etc. so there can be no sweeping cure-all. Current help seems to addresssymptoms more than causes. The good news: Sacramento has stepped up to the plate (in lieu of the county!) and provided $10 million in one-time homelessness funding to Palm Springs. We can thank Chad Mayes, R-Yucca Valley, for this largesse that will pay for much needed shelter and services.

CV Link: Two missing links make the original intent unattainable, thank you, Rancho Mirage and Indian Wells, for your not in my backyard attitude.

Police shootings: What with 11 police shootings in the valley by early August,one might see our constabulary as a bit trigger happy.While that might be unfair, the fact remains that Riverside County has among the highest per capita rates of police shootings in all of California. Some fatal shootings were no doubt justified, as when a suspect has a gun in hand. Others seem to be over-reactions i.e., were officers truly at immediate risk when a man with a kitchen knife is 15 feet from an officer took one step forward?There needs be more training to assure any shooting is the only recourse available. The recently enacted California Act to Save Lives is a giant stop in the right direction.

Residential vacation rentals: This is a city-by-city matter.I am not qualified to say how many is too many, although it would seem that point will soon be reached if it hasnt been already in Palm Springs.I believe neighbors should be the priority of residential neighborhoods, not short-term visitors.

Earthquake preparedness:The so-called big one is long overdue.As our valley sits astride the San Andreas Fault, we are apt to be the epicenter. With all exits inaccessible, survival depends on individual preparedness.Are you ready? Next week may be too late.

Samm Coombs(Photo: Courtesy)

Samm Coombs of Palm Desert is a retired adman, publisher and author. Email him at scoombs@dc.rr.com.

Read or Share this story: https://www.desertsun.com/story/opinion/contributors/valley-voice/2019/09/20/coachella-valley-neighbors-forget-worlds-woes-and-tackle-ours-valley-voice-samm-coombs/2387091001/

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Valley Voice: Coachella Valley neighbors, forget the world's woes. We have our own to fix - The Desert Sun

Rei Germar is one of those pretty, thin, young and rich girls we see a lot on Instagram. But we sat down with the 23-year-old, who has over 1 million subscribers on YouTube and over 700,000 on Instagram, and came out with a different impression.

As Rei tells it, she created a YouTubechannel because she likes talking to people about her day.

Im very passionate about sharing thingswhen I come home from school, Im so excited to tell my mom how my day went.Ive been watching YouTube since I was in high school and I loved IshaBorromeo, Kris Lumagui and Anna Cano. I thought I could have my own channel andshare with people my love for shopping, my love for makeup and, eventually,lifestyle and travel.

Reis journey from aspirant to YouTubesuperstar hasnt been difficult, she acknowledges. This gratefulness is onething I noticed about this girl. Im so used to seeing jaded 20-year-olds thatit is refreshing to see someone talk about what she does with passion.

I was actually overwhelmed that I alreadyhadif my memory serves me right100,000 followers after a year. I didntexpect it.

She sees YouTube as a platform for her toshare things about herself and inspire people. Of course, with the fame camethe haters and bashers. Once again, Reis attitude about this impressed me.

I realized that no matter what you do, theywill have something to say about you.At first I would reply, but Idont anymore. I realized that as long as I dont step on other people, walana, dedma na [I dont mind it]. Mental health is veryimportant. I dont think I could keep on doing this if I wasnt in the rightmindset. I need to protect my mental health.

Rei doesnt mind attacks on her physicalappearance, or on her being privileged (example: All you do is shop). Whatshe objects to is when people assume things about her and put words into hermouth. One of the things Rei loves about being a content creator and onlinepersonality is being able to connect with people.

Its being actually able to inspire people.In the beginning, messages like You inspire me didnt really affect me. Itwas when I started knowing their stories and getting messages that they wantedto give up but watching my videos made them feel like they could go on. Thiswas what made me realize that I had a purpose. Thats when I started beingvocal about my advocacies. I want them to fall in love with themselves. I knowthat it is not easy but I am hoping that in my own way, I can help.

We talked to Rei during a shoot for Pandoraslatest campaign, for which she is one of the muses. There is a pink wallemblazoned with the question What Do You Love?

The centerpiece of the campaign is thePandora O pendant, which takes on charms just like the bracelet did, but can beworn in a variety of different ways. Pandora is banking on muses like Rei tointroduce the brand to new kinds of customers.

Rei wears her O pendant with three charmsthat include a leaf, which to her represents a family tree.

Im very close to my family. When I am withthem, I try not to be on social media because theyre really not into it, saidRei, who is the third of four siblings.

The other muses of the campaign are Bettina Jose, Janina Manipol, Christiana Collings, Kaila Estrada, Jess Connelly, Valerie Chua, DJ Kat, Issa Pressman, Janeena Chan, Aryanna Epperson and Gabs Gibbs.

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Rei Germar on being herself and what she loves - Dinna Chan Vasquez - Business Mirror

At Lutz Elementary School in Fremont, Ohio, principal William Krumnow took to the public address system to deliver an important message. It was April 1990, late in the school year, but Krumnows announcement couldnt wait. Over the intercom, he declared there would be a ban on T-shirts featuring Bart Simpson, the rebellious breakout star of The Simpsons.

Specifically, Krumnow was concerned with a shirt that featured Bart aiming a slingshot with the word underachiever emblazoned in quotes above him. And proud of it, man! Bart said. This, Krumnow felt, was an unnecessary bit of subversion in a place of learning.

"To be proud of being an incompetent is a contraction of what we stand for," Krumnow told Deseret News in May of that year. "We strive for excellence and to instill good values in kids the show teaches the wrong things to students."

Krumnow was not alone. School district administrators in Florida, California, Michigan, Illinois, and Washington, D.C. were cracking down on the surge in Bart shirts, fearing his status as a miscreant would be the wrong kind of role model for kids to emulate.

The apparel ban was a result of the success of The Simpsons, which had premiered months earlier on December 17, 1989 and featured a dysfunctional nuclear family consisting of Homer and Marge Simpson and their children, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. It was an immediate hit for the fledging Fox network and led to a number of merchandising deals.

While the entire cast of the show was marketable, it was 10-year-old Bart who became the licensing phenomenon. An estimated 15 million Bart shirts were sold in 1990 alone, and there was no mystery as to why the character appealed to kids: He loved skateboarding. He hated school. He was a mirror image of millions of students across America. But unlike many of those students, Bart refused to censor himself, wielding a sharp tongue to match his spiky hair.

Eat my shorts, read one of the shirts. Im Bart Simpson, who the hell are you? asked another.

While some of the shirts, which were priced from $11 to $14, werent as inflammatoryBart urging Dont have a cow, man was the top-sellerthe more incendiary designs were what upset school officials. The language was inconsistent with what school districts considered to be appropriate attire, and several dug deep to justify prohibiting students from wearing them. They cited concerns that other students might find the words objectionable or offensive and believed Bart's rogue attitude was incompatible with a respectful environment.

At Memorial Junior High School in Lansing, Michigan, principal James Shrader got on the intercom to inform students the shirts would not be allowed. At Burnham Elementary in Burnham, Illinois, district superintendentor, as Ralph Wiggum might say, district Super NintendoAl Vega was pleased no students had even attempted to wear the shirts.

Hopefully its because parents feel the same way I do, Vega said. Why would parents allow kids to wear those to school? I, as a parent, am not going to let my kid wear that to school.

Not all parents were on board with the ban. Orange, California's Jeannette Manning told People she was considering buying a shirt for her son on principle. Another mother, Maira Romero, couldn't understand why her 11-year-old son Alex was being reprimanded for wearing the shirt. "Id much rather have him wearing a Bart Simpson [shirt] than one of those rock and roll T-shirts with the skull and crossbones on it, Romero said.

Child development experts werent so sure, either. Some pointed out that when something is labeled off-limits, it becomes more attractive to teens who are prone to rebellion. Ignoring it and dismissing it as a fad was a better option, some said. At Wells High School in Chicago, principal David Peterson dismissed the idea the shirts had any kind of negative influence.

Its like a kid saying, I hate school, he said. Am I going to suspend him for that? I dont think so.

Students caught wearing the Bart shirts faced a variety of repercussions. At Brookwood Junior High in Glenwood, Illinois, teachers ordered students wearing the shirts to call their parents and have them bring a change of clothing. Other schools forced kids to turn the shirts inside-out. Some had teachers cover the offending words with tape. The controversy grew so widespread that by the summer of 1990, retail chain JCPenney decided to take the underachiever shirts off shelves in kids sizes. What some had dubbed the Bartlash had reached new heights.

Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, thought the shirt prohibition was silly. I have no comment, he said when asked about the backlash. My folks taught me to respect elementary school principals, even the ones who have nothing better to do than tell kids what to wear. But Groening couldnt resist pointing out that the word underachiever appeared on the shirt in quotes, indicating that it was his (fictional) school officials who had given him that label. Bart was simply playing the hand he had been dealt.

He didnt call himself an underachiever, Groening said. He does not aspire to be an underachiever. If youll recall, this last season, Bart did save France. (In The Crepes of Wrath, which aired in April 1990, Bart is sent to France as a foreign exchange student and exposes his two winemaking hosts who spike their product with antifreeze. He learns French in the process.)

While The Simpsons has gone on to broadcast another 30 seasons of television (and counting), observers who considered the shirts to be fads were correct. The furor quickly died down and kids found new iconography to wear. By June 1991, Simpsons shirts had been discarded in exchange for the cast of Foxs other hit series, the sketch comedy In Living Color. (Homey the Clown was a bestseller.)

Today, you can find vintage Bart shirts on eBay or online clothing shops like The Captain's Vintage, which offers a classic Bart "Who the hell are you?" shirt in white for $89.99.

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The One Where Jennifer Aniston's 'Rachel' Haircut on Friends Became a Phenomenon - Mental Floss

13

You have somewhere around 45,000 negative thoughts a day.

Not just you everyone does.

That's about 80% of all of your thoughts. The vast majority of our thoughts are unpleasant, stressful, or self-sabotaging. Our brains are like a network news channel, only reporting the bad stuff with a sprinkling of good news to keep us from throwing ourselves off a cliff.

I'm sorry if this information just added to your negative thoughts, but hopefully the awareness of how steeped we are in negative thinking will give you pause.

Negative thinking is almost always focused on two areas the past and the future. You ruminate and relive painful, frustrating, or shameful past events, or you fret about some anticipated event or encounter that hasn't happened.

Either way, you're tethered to an illusion. The past is gone. The future doesn't exist. But somehow you're able to create a tremendous amount of discomfort over these non-existent scenarios. Your thoughts run rampant in your brain, creating all sorts of havoc without anyone stopping them. It's like having a toddler in the house whose parents implement no rules or restrictions.

Your thoughts produce powerful emotions, and it's these emotions that can make your life miserable and difficult. But I'm here to be your mental Super Nanny and tell you it's time to get control of your toddler thoughts and become the boss of your brain. Once you learn to control your thoughts, you can build a positive attitude that fosters peace of mind, confidence, happiness, and self-awareness.

1. Create awareness.

Put a rubber band on your wrist as a reminder to notice your thoughts. When you look at the rubber band, take note of your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you can catch yourself in the middle of a rumination or worry.

Other times you might notice you feel anxious, irritated, or sad, but you aren't immediately sure why. When this happens, ask yourself what the thoughts are that have produced these feelings. By paying attention this way, you'll see how often you get caught up in negative thinking.

2. Break the spell.

After you've spent two or three days noticing your thoughts and feelings, it's time to do something about them. Keep the rubber band on your wrist, and every time you notice negative thinking, gently pop the rubber band or move it to the other wrist. You want a physical pattern interrupt to break up the mental looping of negative thoughts.

Then mentally identify and label what you were doing. Oh, there's that negative thinking again. There are those thoughts and feelings popping up again. You want to dis-identify with the thoughts they are separate from YOU as a person. It's important to recognize your thoughts as random products of consciousness instead of seeing them as reality.

3. Fill in the blank.

Once you interrupt the negative thought and identify it, you need to switch gears entirely. You can't leave a mental void, or you'll go directly back to negative thinking, which is an entrenched habit that's become natural for your brain. You must retrain your brain to think differently. So after you pop the rubber band, redirect your thoughts or actions.

One way to do this is by reframing your thought to disprove it or make it positive. For example, if you're thinking, I'll never get this project finished on time, then say to yourself, No, that's not true. I can and will get it done on time. I always have in the past, and I will again. Even if you don't believe this totally, say it out loud or to yourself. Acknowledge any solid evidence you have that counters your negative thought.

Be rigorous in your efforts at redirecting your thoughts, just as you'd continue to put a toddler back in a time-out chair when they keep getting up. Eventually, your mind will know you mean business. You can also use positive action to replace negative thinking. If you find yourself ruminating over something unpleasant, get up and do something that will occupy your mind and distract you from your thoughts.

4. Practice daily gratitude.

With all of our negative thinking, sometimes it's hard to see how much is truly wonderful about our lives. To appreciate how great life really is, you must be intentional about it. I'd suggest keeping a gratitude journal, as writing tends to reinforce thinking. It's good to write in this journal at night before you go to bed, as you will fill your mind with positivity before you drift into sleep.

You may be in the midst of a crisis or worry, but that doesn't negate all of your many, many blessings. Write down each one in your journal, and as you write, really focus on the gratitude item and flood your mind with feelings of gratefulness.

Do this every day, even if you're repeating the same items over and over. This will help you keep gratitude at the forefront of your mind rather than in the dark recesses.

5. Stop reacting.

Small negative events during your day can trigger a cascade of pessimistic or angry thoughts and feelings. Someone says something rude to you. You comment back to them. They say something else. You go brood about it for hours. Traffic is bumper to bumper, and you're in a hurry. You honk your horn and feel your blood pressure rising. It takes you hours to calm down.

Every day life presents us with a multitude of dirty little tricks to goad us into negativity. But as the CEO of your mind, you can chose how you want to react. Sure, you can get pissed off, hurt, or frustrated but you'll losehours of your day that could be joyful. Instead, mindfully choose how you want to react. You know difficult things will happen on occasion, so mentally prepare. Teach yourself to take some deep, calming breaths.

Decide on a better way to respond that minimizes negativity. Acknowledge your knee-jerk reactions, but consciously decide not to follow them. If possible, try to find humor in the inanities and frustrations of life, as they are part of the human condition.

6. Find positive people.

We tend to absorb and reflect the emotions and attitudes of those we spend time with. If you're hanging around negative people who complain and worry much of the time, then you are bound to catch their ailment.

You may need to make some hard decisions about who you spend time with, but if someone had a contagious disease, you'd have no trouble creating a boundary between you and them. Negativity is a contagious disease. Find people who uplift you and who are positive, happy, and confident. Do your best to spend less time with people who pull you down.

7. Have more fun.

We get so caught up in the serious business of life that we forget to simply have fun. When was the last time you played a game, rode a bike, flew a kite, or did anything carefree and non-competitive? We need daily fun to balance the stresses and demands of our complicated lives.

If you can't remember what feels fun to you, go back to your childhood and think about fun activities. I have a friend who swings on her children's swing set for relaxation and pleasure. Be vigilant in making fun part of your life.

8. Turn off the news.

Every time I watch the news, I feel worried and sad. A reporter might cover a story on a new health scare, and of course, I worry about that for myself. The never-ending coverage on terrorism, shootings, politics, and natural disasters makes us feel anxious and threatened.

Yes, there is plenty of bad news, and we need to stay informed. But there's plenty of good news as well. There are plenty of positive, happy, uplifting things going on in the world. So make a choice to limit the amount of news you watch, and instead find programs, podcasts, blogs, books, and articles that inspire and motivate you. Seek out positive information to fill your mind.

9. Simplify your life.

The busier and more complicated your life is, the more difficult it will be to remain positive. When you have too many demands and obligations, with little time for fun, reflection, relationships, or exercise, the more stressed and unhappy you are bound to feel.

We often resort to buying things to soothe our feelings, but all of these material things create stress as well, as you must store them, take care of them, and pay for them. Too much stuff drains your psychic energy. Simply the act of simplifying dropping things from your to-do list and getting rid of stuff will make you feel lighter and more positive.

Schedule a few days to streamline your life, giving yourself plenty of time and space for your most important life values and activities.

10. Spend time with friends and family.

Quality time spent with the people we love and cherish most is the best way to develop a positive attitude. People on their deathbeds report their biggest regret is not spending more time with friends and family.

Be proactive in making time for those you love. Initiate more family events, as well as one-on-one time with your spouse or partner, your children, and your friends. Create rituals and traditions that are meaningful and happy.

Mindfully choose to avoid family drama or conflict and speak words of love, affirmation, and healing to serve as an example and inspiration to others in your sphere.

Having a positive mental attitude involves making mind shifts and recognizing how much control you have over your thoughts. As you work toward managing and changing your thoughts, and choose positive behaviors and actions that are healthy and uplifting, over time you'll see that positivity is your fallback position. Even during difficult times, you'll have the inner resources to turn yourself around and regain your happy state of mind.

photo credit: Hadock

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Positive Mental Attitude: 10 Mindsets For Happiness

If you dont like something change it; if you cant change it, change the way you think about it.Mary Engelbreit

It has been estimated that the average person has roughly 60,000 individual thoughts every 24 hours. 95 percent of these thoughts are the same they had the previous day, and 80 percent of these repeated thoughts are of a negative/pessimistic nature. Furthermore, many of these pessimistic thoughts are unconscious and habitual, meaning that people have next to no awareness of the impact that these thoughts have over their lives.

What is even more worrisome is that 95 percent of the thoughts that people have form the foundations of the emotions they experience throughout the day. This is significant because our emotions form the foundations of our attitude, and our attitude is what shapes our happiness and success in all areas of life.

Thoughts are biochemical impulses of energy, intelligence, and information that hold magnetic properties. These magnetic properties originate within each cell and are influenced by your peer groups, worldviews, cultural history, media, religion, mythology and as a result of social expectations. All of these elements of life influence and shape the thoughts you have about yourself, about others and about your life and circumstances. Over time, these thoughts evolve from opinions into beliefs and convictions.

Beliefs and convictions are nothing more than a recipe for thoughts that have been locked into place. When you have a belief about something, there is no doubting or wishing or hoping. Things are the way they are and there is no alternate view. You have locked a certain set of thoughts in place to form this belief, and this belief is part of the puzzle that shapes your attitude throughout the day.

Lets break this down another way: Your thoughts are a result of life. You have the thoughts you have, because of how youve been influenced by life. Life includes what is now, what was in the past, and what you expect to happen in the future. As such, your thoughts and the attitudes you have are a result of your peer groups, worldviews, your cultural history, media influences, religious traditions and beliefs, and other social factors. In other words, you have the thoughts you have because youve experienced life in a certain and specific way. Therefore, you are how you are today because of the influences you have allowed into your life into your mind.

Over a lifetime you have chosen to focus on certain things while ignoring other things. There are so many different beliefs, opinions, and perspectives in this world. However, you have only chosen to focus on a few of them. Some of them have been somewhat forced upon you by your peers, parents, teachers, mentors, culture and religious background. However, other things you have chosen to focus on because of your personal preferences and tastes. You have therefore created your current thought-patterns and perspectives through the choices you have made over a lifetime.

Thoughts dont immediately turn into beliefs and/or attitudes. Its a process that takes time. You will, for instance, have an initial thought about something. This thought stimulates various cells in your brain. The more you use this thought through repetition, the more you use those particular cells, and the stronger the connection between those cells becomes. Likewise, the more emotional intensity that goes into a thought, the more the neural highway in the brain strengthens. As such, the easier it is to have that particular thought the next time around. Eventually, the thought becomes a habit and is projected out into the external world as an attitude; which is nothing more than a collection of thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and values.

A thought is never an isolated event. Your brain always tries to make sense of the world by linking present circumstances to past memories. This connection between the past and present forms associations in the brain that help you make better sense of the world. You might, of course, learn something new and different, however, your brain will still attempt to find some relevance, and will, therefore, find a way to connect the new with the old.

How your brain connects the new experiences to the old memories will determine how you make sense of the world. And how you make sense of the world shapes how you think about your world; which builds the foundations of what you believe about your world manifesting in the attitude you project out into the world.

Thoughts are as complex as they are simple. They are simple because of their nature. Its just easy to have a thought, however, its not easy to understand how that thought came to be, or what the consequences of having that thought will be in the future. As such, your thoughts are very complex structures because they are influenced by many different factors.

Consider for a moment one of your thoughts, and ask yourself:

Why did I have this specific thought?

Why now? Why like this? Why not something different?

How did this thought originate?

Where did this thought come from?

What influenced this thought into my life?

How many different factors influenced it?

How far back into my childhood could the origins of this thought be tied to?

How has this thought been influenced by other aspects of my psyche?

Your psyche is made up of many parts that come to form the MasterMind Matrix. As such your thoughts are not only influenced by outside factors but also influenced by the pain and pleasure response, by your beliefs, values, self-concept, meta-programs, psychological rules, mental focus, choices, decisions, actions, physiology, language, etc. Likewise, all of these parts of your behavior and psyche influence your thoughts. In other words, your thoughts are not only influenced by these parts of your psyche, but these parts also influence and shape your thoughts. And TOGETHER everything mentioned here shapes your attitude for better or worse.

Your attitude is in many ways nothing more than a collection of your values, beliefs and the opinions you have about a specific subject. These parts of your psyche are shaped by your thoughts, and your thoughts are shaped by the world you live in, by your past memories, and as a result of the things you have chosen to focus on over a lifetime.

Whatever you give your attention to becomes a priority in your life. Therefore, whatever you decide to focus on has meaning for you, and as a result, these things will shape how you think, what you believe, what you value, and essentially the attitude you will project out into the world.

There are two Universal Laws at play here. The first of these laws is the Law of Concentration, and the second of these laws is the Law of Becoming.

These two Universal Laws are basically saying that your entire life and the attitude you project out into the world is dependent upon what you choose to focus on most of the time. Therefore, if your attitude is poor and you desire to make a change, then you must choose to focus on other things that will help you transform your thoughts; thereby improving your state-of-mind (attitude).

Your attitude is also tied to the references that you have collected over a lifetime.

Every experience you have whether good or bad, painful or pleasurable creates a set of memories. These memories form references that you use to make sense of the world you live in. These references are just experiences that have come about as a result of pain and pleasure in your life. You might, for instance, have experienced a negative situation in the past which brought you painful memories. Or you might have experienced a positive situation in the past which brought you pleasurable memories. These situations/experiences are nothing more but memories today. However, these memories/references have a significant impact on the attitude you project out into the world.

Your brain will naturally connect many painful memories/references together to form an opinion about something. These opinions strengthen over time as more related references are found. And over the long-term, these references come to form your beliefs about this specific situation or area of your life. And consequently, these beliefs form the foundations of the attitude you project out into the world.

Now, its important to note that these memories/references are only opinions. They are only your perspectives and interpretations of the situation. They might have no actual basis in reality. As such, your attitude might be based on false references and distorted memories that you have accepted as the truth. Your negative attitude is therefore based on a lie that you have convinced yourself to believe. And this is influencing how you feel, think and behave in specific situations for better or worse. Whats even worse, is that it influences your expectations of yourself, of others and of the world around you. This, therefore, creates a snowball effect where a negative attitude grows and picks up momentum over time until it destroys your life.

One day after years of living with a negative mental attitude, you might experience some very intense pain that results from the attitude you consistently project out into the world. Its this painful experience that will often provide you with the wake-up call you need to make some changes for the better. But in all honesty, you dont need to wait until this moment arrives. You can start making positive changes today right now!

A Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is the ability to interpret and reframe your life experiences in a favorable way that is helpful and advantageous in relation to the desired outcomes you would like to achieve. It is the ability to cultivate optimism during difficult times. In other words, its a solution-focused attitude that seeks out answers over complaints.

Cultivating a PMA takes time and practice. Its not something youll immediately get into the habit of doing. Youll need to make some changes, start doing things differently and make some better choices. Its a process that takes some effort, however, it will be effort worth spent as it will help open the door to very different perspectives and a world full of new opportunities.

Lets now take a look at some simple things you can do to help shift how you think about your life and circumstances that will help encourage a PMA.

The words you use to express yourself are emotional triggers that significantly influence your state-of-mind and the attitude you bring forth into every situation. These words either create positive expectations, or they create limiting and negative expectations. It all depends on the words you decide to use.

In order to overcome a negative mental attitude you must transform your language, and transforming your language begins by changing the words you habitually use when in a negative state-of-mind. You can do this in one of two ways:

For instance, you might choose to lower the intensity of the words you use by changing I am feeling angry to I am feeling concerned. Or you might instead choose to put a positive spin on things by changing I am feeling angry to I am kind of curious.

The second choice is the better option, however, this can also be the most difficult option because it forces you to think in a very different way that might significantly go against your habitual tendencies. This can, therefore, create some internal resistance and conflict. If this resistance is very evident in your situation, then you might instead choose the first option, where you lower the intensity of the negative word you are using. This helps you feel somewhat better about the situation but doesnt necessarily conflict with your habitual thinking patterns.

You might initially begin using the first option, where you consciously lower the intensity of the words you are expressing. Then once you begin feeling more comfortable with these words, you can switch to the second option where you replace your limiting words with more empowering words that can be more helpful in your situation. As such, over time you will begin to shift your attitude from a negative to a more positive state-of-mind. However, all this requires conscious effort, and it may be difficult at first, however, with some persistent effort you can successfully make these changes.

When it comes to the language you choose to use, its important that you set positive expectations for yourself. For example, is there any point being angry in this situation? By being angry you are drawing into your attention all the things that make you feel angry, and as a result, you feel even angrier, which ends up creating expectations that there will be more things to feel angry about in the future. Maybe instead of feeling angry, you can feel a little concerned or somewhat curious. Both states-of-mind will dramatically shift how you think about the situation, and this will subsequently create a different set of expectations moving forward. Moreover, your attitude will improve and you will be in a far more advantageous position to make the very best of this situation.

There are a lot of possibilities here. All thats required is that you play around with the words you use. Dont settle on one kind of word. Instead, focus on adding richness and color to your language that will help you shift how you think and interpret the events and circumstances of your life.

The words you use and the thoughts you indulge in influence your physiology. Likewise, your physiology influences the words you choose to use and the thoughts you choose to indulge in. Therefore by making small shifts in your physiology can help you to think different thoughts. And when you think different thoughts, you will choose to use different words to express your opinions and feelings. And as your words change, so does your attitude.

This again will not be easy. You probably have certain ways that you tend to habitually use your body when youre in a bad mood. These habits will not be easy to break and will initially require some conscious effort. In fact, you might need to will your body to move a certain way, to breathe a certain way, or to stand a certain way in order to break your habitual patterns. However, with persistent effort you will make progress, and this is what will help you to shift to a more positive state-of-mind.

Lets go back to the example of feeling angry and turn it into curiosity. Ask yourself:

What would my body look like if I was feeling curious rather than angry?

How would I move?

How would I stand?

How would I sit?

How would I breathe?

How would I position my head?

How would I move my hands?

These questions might seem a little silly at first, however, they are well worth asking because when youre angry you will use your physiology in a very different way compared to when youre feeling curious.

Using your physiology from a state of curiosity will encourage you to think different thoughts, which will likewise transform the words you use to describe your feelings and emotions. And this will go a long way towards helping you cultivate a more positive and empowering mental attitude.

Its human nature to make comparisons. Some people make comparisons to others, while others make comparisons to their best selves. Both are helpful at certain times. For instance, self-to-other comparisons help you gauge where other people are at, and this helps fuel your competitive spirit. However, it can also make you feel inadequate and incapable if you fail to live up to other peoples standards and results. On the other hand, there are self-to-self comparisons. Making these comparisons is helpful because you are competing against your best self.

All this is relevant to attitude because often a poor mental attitude is linked to self-to-self comparisons. We consciously or unconsciously compare ourselves to others in an attempt to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. However, if we are unable to live up to the standards that other people set, then its easy to feel somewhat worthless and inadequate. And its from this place that a negative mental attitude often comes to the surface and manifests in excuses and complaints.

To avoid this scenario, choose instead to only make self-to-self comparisons. Compare yourself to your best self, and leave the self-to-other comparisons to others.

The reason why you have a poor mental attitude is because you have all these unfulfilled expectations that are weighing heavily on your shoulders.

When in a negative state of mind youre either indulging in the past by holding onto grudges, regrets, and anger. Or you are focusing on the future filled with fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. Focusing on the past or future brings you no respite or relief. So whats the point of focusing in this way? Instead, encourage yourself to focus on being more mindful of the present moment.

Within the present moment, there are no regrets, there is no anger, and there is no fear or anxiety. All that exists in the present moment is choice and opportunity. In the present moment, you can only focus on whats before you, right here, right now. And whats before you presents you with an opportunity to choose a better path moving forward. However, in order to find that opportunity in the present moment, you must get out of your head and let go of all your expectations, hurts, fears, anxieties, etc. You will only change by letting these things go, and the best way to do that is to become mindful of the present moment.

Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you are always asking questions. Some questions are helpful, while others may not be so helpful, and will, therefore, tend to prolong a poor mental attitude.

The great thing about questions is that they help direct your focus and attention to specific things. When for instance you are focusing on the negatives and on whats not working, then you will tend to feel miserable, and that will come across in the attitude you project out into the world. However, when youre focusing on whats working, on what you have, and on what you can control, then your attitude likewise changes. You are no longer feeling regret, disappointment, or complaining about things. You are instead focused on the things that can help you move forward in a more positive way.

Questions will help you direct your focus in exactly this way. However, you will, of course, need to ask yourself the right kinds of questions to help focus your mind on the things that will help encourage a positive mental attitude. Here are some examples of questions you could potentially ask yourself:

Whats great about this?

What opportunities exist here?

How can I grow from this experience?

How can I make myself feel great about this?

How can this be seen in a more positive light?

How must I modify my approach?

By taking the time to genuinely answer these questions you are directing your focus to things that matter most. These things will help you see the situation in a better light, and will put you in a more positive and optimal frame-of-mind. And as your focus changes, your attitude shifts and you subsequently put yourself in a more advantageous position to make the best of every situation and opportunity.

There is a reason why you might have a poor attitude. And that often comes down to the company you keep.

The attitude you consistently project into the world probably very closely resembles the attitude of your peers. Therefore, if their attitude is poor, then your attitude will also be poor. If they always complain, make excuses, blame and focus on problems, then you probably also do this. This, of course, will not be true in all cases. However, for the most part, your five closest peers/friends will often mirror your attitude as much as you mirror their attitude. For this very reason, its absolutely critical that you select the people you choose to hang out with very carefully.

Have a think about some of your closest friends and confidants and ask yourself:

How do these people influence me?

Do I complain about the same things they complain about?

Do I blame others in the same way they blame others?

Do I make similar excuses?

What have these people got me thinking?

What have these people got me saying?

What have these people got me emotionalizing?

How are these people influencing my state-of-mind?

How are they influencing the attitude I project out into the world?

If you take the time to honestly ask yourself these questions, I think you will find that your peers have a greater influence on your attitude then you might have initially imagined for better or worse. If its on the worse side, then you might want to reconsider who you spend most of your time with. Choose people who will inspire and challenge you to view your life and circumstances in a more positive and optimal way. That is in itself one of the quickest ways to transform a poor mental attitude.

When making any changes in your life, you will typically move through four distinct steps:

You initially accept the fact that you cant change. At this stage, you are resistant to change and struggle with the notion that things must change irrespective of how bad things might be. Yes, your attitude might not be great, however, there just isnt enough pain to instigate a change.

The second step is recognizing that there is actually a need for change and that you must start doing things that will help you make positive changes in your life. This is where the pain sets in, and you realize that the consequences of not changing are too costly and hurtful in the long-run.

The third step is the decision you make that a change must be made. You no longer wish to indulge in a poor mental attitude, and instead, you want to be different you want to make a positive change for the better. And its actually in these moments of decision that the seeds of change are planted.

The final step of this process is the affirmation that you are no longer your old self, but rather a different self who has changed for the better. And because you see yourself as this new person, you start making different choices and decisions that are aligned with the thoughts, values, beliefs, and attitudes of this new person.

As you go through this attitude transformation process, you will typically move through each of these steps. This process may take time, however with a little persistent effort, even the most stubborn of habits can be transformed.

When it comes to success in any field of endeavor, it all comes down to the attitude you project out into the world. If your attitude is poor, you will make poor choices, and may very well create unnecessary conflict and problems for yourself. However, when your attitude is coming from an empowering state-of-mind, then this will lead to better decisions that can help you solve problems and take advantage of the opportunities that life presents you with. As such, your attitude forms the bedrock of everything you desire to do, be, have and achieve in life. With a positive mental attitude, the world is your oyster. Without it, the world will just throw mud in your face.

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How a Transform a Negative Mental Attitude into a Positive ...

Published: November, 2011

Expressing thanks may be one of the simplest ways to feel better.

The Thanksgiving holiday began, as the name implies, when the colonists gave thanks for their survival and for a good harvest. So perhaps November is a good time to review the mental health benefits of gratitude and to consider some advice about how to cultivate this state of mind.

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone's gratitude, it's a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.

Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics.

One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.

Another leading researcher in this field, Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week's assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.

Of course, studies such as this one cannot prove cause and effect. But most of the studies published on this topic support an association between gratitude and an individual's well-being.

Other studies have looked at how gratitude can improve relationships. For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.

Managers who remember to say "thank you" to people who work for them may find that those employees feel motivated to work harder. Researchers at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania randomly divided university fund-raisers into two groups. One group made phone calls to solicit alumni donations in the same way they always had. The second group assigned to work on a different day received a pep talk from the director of annual giving, who told the fund-raisers she was grateful for their efforts. During the following week, the university employees who heard her message of gratitude made 50% more fund-raising calls than those who did not.

There are some notable exceptions to the generally positive results in research on gratitude. One study found that middle-aged divorced women who kept gratitude journals were no more satisfied with their lives than those who did not. Another study found that children and adolescents who wrote and delivered a thank-you letter to someone who made a difference in their lives may have made the other person happier but did not improve their own well-being. This finding suggests that gratitude is an attainment associated with emotional maturity.

Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can't feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice.

Here are some ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis.

Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.

Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual.

Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thoughts about the gifts you've received each day.

Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number such as three to five things that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.

Pray. People who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.

Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as "peace"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).

Emmons RA, et al. "Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Feb. 2003): Vol. 84, No. 2, pp. 37789.

Grant AM, et al. "A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Prosocial Behavior," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (June 2010): Vol. 98, No. 6, pp. 94655.

Lambert NM, et al. "Expressing Gratitude to a Partner Leads to More Relationship Maintenance Behavior," Emotion (Feb. 2011): Vol. 11, No. 1, pp. 5260.

Sansone RA, et al. "Gratitude and Well Being: The Benefits of Appreciation," Psychiatry (Nov. 2010): Vol. 7, No. 11, pp. 1822.

Seligman MEP, et al. "Empirical Validation of Interventions," American Psychologist (JulyAug. 2005): Vol. 60, No. 1, pp. 41021.

For more references, please see http://www.health.harvard.edu/mentalextra.

Disclaimer:As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review on all articles. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

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In Praise of Gratitude - Harvard Health

On a personal level I read your book about 3 years ago and it had a huge positive impact on my life. I re-read your book at least twice a year.My job is to develop managers and I run a 6-month development programme. Attitude is Everything is required reading for all participants and the feedback from the 44 people who have completed this programme isWOW! The improvement in them as individuals has been noted back in their branches across the UK to the extent that I have been asked for copies of the book for Area Managers and Regional Directors. It has had such an impact upon one region within our business that they are rolling your messages out to all of their staff in the next 4 months. Thank you for such an inspirational book.

Chris ChinnManagement Development ManagerVanguard Rental (UK) Ltd.

I just finished your book and it has changed my life already. I have been set on fire by your words! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I now know how I can get everything I want and achieve every goal I have set for myself. Nothing is daunting any more - I have no fear. Only drive, ambition and an attitude that I will infect every other person I come into contact with. Thanks again. I'm off now to achieve my dreams!

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Your book, Attitude is Everything, has made the greatest impact on my life. Your words have helped me to change from a negative, cynical, victim mentality, 'woe is me' lifestyle into a new person. I have lost count of the number of times I have read it. I have decided to start my own business. This, I owe all to your book. I have more energy, more control over my life and I'm infinitely happier. Thank you for your life-changing book.

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Your book is a tonic for mental, emotional, physical and spiritual prosperity. You give real life example after example of what works. I also enjoy that you don't rehash the same old stories but you take the lead in discovering new examples of inspiration. Attitude is Everything is a Mark McGwire home run in the motivational field.

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Your book gave me the confidence to achieve much more than I thought possible. Your insights gave me the strength I needed to keep moving forward. Now, I have been promoted twice, with raises I thought would never come. I am now the "motivator" for my team, and we are achieving so much. Thank you, Jeff!

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After having read your book, Attitude is Everything, I must thank you! It is a gift to anyone who wants more... a better career, a better relationship, a better life. Every word makes so much sense, yet most of us go on with our lives without ever really knowing how much potential we have. After reading your book for the first time (of the many times I plan to) I have come away with the veil once again lifted from my eyes by your words. I feel like I can move toward embodying the principles you have so eloquently presented.

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Attitude is Everything has helped me to hone in on positive thought and motivational techniques related to my career and interpersonal relationships. Now, before reacting to any situation, I consciously choose a positive response -- what a difference it makes! I am more confident when dealing with a negative situation by applying Jeff's easily understood, user-friendly techniques. The best part is I was able to put these ideas to work immediately!

Natalie Tedone

I just finished your book and loved it. It is simple with practical tips for changing your attitude. What was most inspirational was your own personal journey. I'm going to give this book as Christmas presents. The world needs your message.

Diane DiRestaAuthor, Knockout Presentations

I recently finished reading your book, Attitude is Everything. I have to say that I am very impressed. When you first hear about a book on the topic of attitude, you think there's going to be a lot of hype and "rah-rah" stuff. That wasn't the case here. Rather, you provided plenty of specific and practical tips for success. Reading your suggestions made a positive impact on my business. Jeff, what also impressed me is your sincerity. I can tell that you not only believe what you're saying, but that you've applied all of these principles in your own life. Thanks again for putting together this fine book.

Stuart Kamen Kamen Communications

After reading your informative book, I have one thing to say -- that everyone who hasn't read it....should! Most of us can relate to your experiences. You need to enjoy what you're doing to become successful. I am a perfect example. I myself found after many years a creative talent that I did not know I had. As you explain so well in your book, Attitude is Everything!

Anna Carusos

Attitude is Everything has helped me to become a better sales professional by always thinking in a positive manner and being aware of how I am perceived by my clients. I often refer to the book to keep me "on my toes" and always aware of my attitude not only in my professional life, but in my personal life as well. This book reinforces how your attitude affects others as well as the outcome of any situation.

Fran GrazioseDiamond Promotions, Inc.

Having read many motivational books, I found Jeff's ideas fresh and inspiring. This book is useful not only for salespeople, but for anyone wishing to make positive changes in their lives.

David D'Agostino

Just thought I'd tell you how much I enjoyed your book, Attitude is Everything. It has energy as well as attitude, and I thought it was great. I cover attitude in my career counseling workshop, so I'll pass on to them the benefits I received from reading your book!

Fiona Young

Anyone can learn from Jeff's twelve easy lessons immediately. Keep this book at your fingertips. When you occasionally need a little attitude adjustment, open it anywhere, and a valuable quote or phrase will jump off the page right into your heart and soul.

Julie Salgo

Your book is fantastic and I really enjoyed it -- from beginning to end. The 12 lessons in this book can change and enrich millions of lives. I recommend this book to all. After all, attitude is everything!

Viola George

Referring to this book often is helping me nip negative thoughts in the bud, and is having a direct effect on the increasing lack of negativity in my words. I am already beginning to benefit from the effect this change in my thinking and speaking is having on my actions, both personally and professionally.

George Hahn

Every page of Attitude is Everything reminded me of so many thoughts I've considered over so many years but rarely acted upon. Your words opened a very important door to the start of many talks with myself. Thanks, Jeff, for your reinforcement, your inspiration, your candor and your truthful words that "Attitude is Everything!"

Marilyn Kass Marilyn Kass & Assoc. Inc.

There is no shortage of motivational books on the market. But what sets Attitude is Everything apart from the crowd is Jeff Keller's unique ability to tackle the real issues on the minds of today's business professionals, and to offer practical, substantive ideas for conquering these issues. In my mind, nobody else comes close to delivering the goods like Jeff Keller.

Art Siegel, PublisherSalesDoctors Magazine

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Attitude Is Everything