SALT LAKE CITY I was asked recently what changes or tweaks a person could make that would most dramatically improve their relationships. This is a great question because your ability to create healthy relationships is the key to your happiness in life.

You cant feel happy, fulfilled and good about life if your relationships are stressed, unsafe or confrontational. This is especially true with your significant other. If that special relationship is strained or in trouble, it can suck the joy from every other part of your life.

Below are my top five tips for having better relationships:

Humans have a subconscious tendency to think the way they navigate the world, handle problems and treat people is the right way and anyone who functions differently is wrong. If you will accept the idea that different isnt necessarily better or worse, just different, this one change could be profound.

In coaching, I teach the idea that there are 12 types of people in the world and every type has both good behaviors and bad behaviors. None of them have only good and no bad. This means everyone has bad behaviors, even you. They are different bad behaviors than other people have, but they are just as bad.

The most powerful change you can make to improve your relationships is to learn to understand how the people close to you are wired, how they see the world, and what their triggers are. Then you can stop expecting them to act like you and accept them more fully for who they are.

Most of the people in your life are inherently good and have no desire to do you wrong or hurt you. When a person does offend you, it is usually unintentional and done because they are in a fear state and overly worried about themselves. It is a game-changer when you decide to assume the best of the people you love, instead of the worst.

Give the people you love room to be a work-in-progress. We are all students in the classroom of life and we are never going to be perfect. Give the people in your life allowance to make mistakes and go easy on them when they make one, because you want them to go easy on you when it's your turn.

The heart of every relationship lies in how you talk to each other. If you talk more than you listen, you wont have authentic and safe relationships.

Set your own thoughts and feelings aside every once in a while and really listen to what the other person is thinking and feeling. Ask questions to gain an understanding of how the other person sees the world and why. You will be amazed at what you didnt know, you didn't know.

Ask questions because you truly want to understand and show love to the other person. This validates their worth in your life. Listen to actually understand, not just to figure out what to say next.

What everyone wants most from their important relationships is safety. We all want someone who has our back and knows our intentions are good. Be that person. Be the safest place in the world for the person you love. Make sure they can tell you anything and you will listen without judgment, understand, and not make it about you.

If you have trouble doing this, it could be because you dont feel safe in the world yourself. If you dont feel safe, you will be overly focused on getting a sense of security for yourself and will have nothing to give your loved one. Get some professional coaching or counseling to work on your fear issues. When you are on solid ground yourself, you can give more to others.

Forgiveness becomes easier when you understand that life is a classroom and you always attract the situations and people that will be your perfect teachers. I believe these important people are in our lives to trigger our pain, push our buttons, and bring our fears to the surface so we can work on them. This means any offenses are the perfect classroom experiences you need. Remembering this makes it much easier to forgive.

Real forgiveness is about healing your perception around other people and their behavior. When you change the way you see them and the offense, you will immediately change how you feel about it. Choose to see any offense as "a perfect lesson for you" and the pain will lessen. This offense didnt happen to you, it happened for you. It isnt a loss experience, if it was here to serve you.

Also, I believe there is nothing that exists that God did not make, and chance plays no part in his plans. This means you are safe in his hands all the time.

Nothing can diminish your intrinsic value nor bring you a journey that is anything less than perfect for you. In order to be offended, you have to believe that you are vulnerable in some way. If you trust God fully, you are never vulnerable and cannot be wronged. You can only be educated and taught.

You can do this.

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Coach Kim: 5 small tweaks that can make your relationships much better - KSL.com

Its a cold night in Boston. A line has formed outside of Reebok CrossFit One for the live Open announcement of WOD 20.5. Its been raining all day, and even though were waiting underneath an awning, the crowd is steadily getting soaked. And that could have put a real damper on the evening, but not for Noor Dajani. Shes got a big smile on her face. Her black hijab is tucked into her jacket, and underneath a Reebok logo peeks through an open zipper. Shes telling me about her experience running the New York City Marathon the previous weekend. She trained for just two months before the race, but was still able to complete it with a great time (and in great spirits). I think about Noor trying to balance CrossFit, coaching, starting a business, raising two kids, and training for a marathon half a world away from her home.

I smile back at her in amazement.

Noor isnt your typical athlete and trainer. Born and raised in Jordan, Noor is the only female CrossFit Level 3 trainer in the region. But growing up, hailing from that area of the Middle East meant that certain expectations and limitations were placed on Noor and other women and girls regarding how to dress, move, and behave when men were present. For Noor, those situations intersected directly with her favorite pastime: sports. I was super passionate about all kinds of sports and movement but in my case I had to stop participating in sport at a very young age around 10 years old, she said.

Her family made sure to provide Noor and her 7 sisters enough space to play and practice sport within their home, but it wasnt enough for her. She wanted a chance to take on sports professionally. But the difficulties of not being able to follow-through with dedicating her time to training eventually caused her to stop. It wouldnt be until she was 25 years old that she found sports again, and not until she moved away that she could explore her opportunities in a new light.

A world away. In the summer of 2013 Noor relocated to the US for a 2 year period with her family. While living in Ohio, she started educating herself in different areas of fitness through certifications in spinning, TRX, bootcamp, personal training, and finally Olympic weightlifting and CrossFit. She credits her mentor, Aaron Jannetti, owner of CrossFit Endeavor in Hilliard, with helping her build her capacity and confidence as a coach. Since starting CrossFit I have become more resilient, confident, and self compassionate. The exposure to hardships in each workout, and developing positive attitudes and strategies to tackle each workout, transferred directly to my own life and mentality, she said.

Coaching others and helping them create better, happier, healthier lives sparked a joy in Noor she didnt know she needed up until that point. But when it came time to move back to Jordan, she found herself scared that shed lose herself back in a life with limitations around women in fitness. So, she made a plan to stick to what made her happy. Doing CrossFit and involving myself with the CrossFit community right away upon my return helped me keep growing my resilience, mental strength and passion, she said.

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How One Woman is Using CrossFit to Break Barriers in the Middle East - Morning Chalk Up

IOWA CITY, Iowa As he grows older and even more self-deprecating, Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz tends to reflect with awe when he discusses his players, from the adversity they overcome to the accomplishments they achieve during a football season.

Three of Ferentzs sons played for him and two had surgeries. Hes had the pleasure of coaching thousands of other sons over his 21 years as head coach, and from battling through injuries to academic challenges, his players inspire him as much Ferentz is supposed to lead his players. He feels just as fulfilled watching a walk-on exert effort on the scout team as he does a starting performer execute on third down.

I have such respect for the guys that run the entire race, that stay here and fight through the adversity they go through, whether its academically, injury-wise, all the things that are challenging about being a student-athlete at this level, Ferentz said. Its a really impressive group of...

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'This program has it all': Iowa seniors on life as a Hawkeye, lasting memories and what it's like to play for... - The Athletic

Its that time of year again, when the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) polls thousands of health and fitness professionals around the globe to peer into the crystal ball and identify the top fitness trends for the following year.

This is the 14th year for the ACSM survey, and many of the hot trends, such as HIIT and group training, for 2020 have been along for the ride since the beginning. Cyclists have been at the pointy end of fitness trends like HIIT training, wearable tech, and employing certified professionals since long before such surveys existed. But its worth noting that there are other consistent (and important) trends more cyclists would be wise to hop on.

So without further ado, here are the top 10 fitness trends for 2020 and what they mean for you.

[Want to fly up hills? Climb! gives you the workouts and mental strategies to conquer your nearest peak.]

Hiring a fitness professional debuted on the trend list at #6 last year, and holds its position in the top 10 for 2020. For cyclists, this means hiring a coachsomething I recommend all serious cyclists try at least once.

Ive been USA Cycling certified coach myself for about two decades and I still hire a coach to help me nail my goals. And I can say unequivocally, all of my best results are a direct result of working with and listening to some really great coaches.

Good coaches do more than just write training plansyou can download those online for a few bucks. Theyre a confidante, someone you can share your goals and insecurities with who will help you cut through the clutter and be the best bike rider you can be. They eliminate the guesswork and make you accountable for getting your training done.

And coming in at #9more coaching! Health and wellness coaching is different from cycling coaching in that its not focused on exercise performance, but rather helping you live a healthier life overall.

Wellness coaches can help you deal with stress, improve your mindset, find balance, and make healthy lifestyle changes (say, like riding more) stick.

Only you can say if you would benefit from a health and wellness coach (and its possible that a multi-faceted cycling coach could pull double duty here). But if you consistently struggle to make behavioral changes that would improve your emotional and physical well-being, it might be worth a try.

No surprise here. People are living longer and remaining active for many more years than past generations. And the more fit you stay into your later years, the more years youre likely to live. One study found that those with the highest levels of fitness at age 75 were more than twice as likely to live another 10 years or more compared to those with poorer fitness.

Because cycling is gentle on the joints, its easy to do for a very long time. But thats not to say that we dont face challenges with age. Science shows that metabolism changes, making it easier to gain weight and lose muscle, as we get older. Recovery takes longer, too. That means you need to keep up the intensity to maintain muscle and top-end fitness, and take proper care to bounce back from those efforts. So if youre in your 50s, 60s, 70s, or beyond, make sure the trainers and/or coaches you work with understand the nuances of working with someone your age.

Sarinya Pinngam / EyeEmGetty Images

Bodyweight training, which, just as it sounds, means using your own body to perform resistance training has been among the top trends since it hit the charts at #3 in 2013. And with good reason: You dont need a gym membership or special equipment to build strength, and you can get a good workout wherever you are.

Body weight training is particularly helpful for cyclists during prime riding season, when you may be reluctant to use precious riding time to go to the gym. Some push-ups, squats, and core moves can help keep you strong in the saddle without worrying about hitting the weights.

Exercise is Medicine (EIM) is a global health initiative that encourages primary care doctors and other health-care providers to include physical activity assessment as part of their care and to include exercise recommendations and referrals to fitness professionals as part of standard care.

A doctors note for a bike ride a day? Sounds like good medicine to us.

Andersen RossGetty Images

Its easy to be a little skeptical about personal training being the top trend (as it has been since the survey first published in 2006) on a list generated by fitness professionals. But personal training works, and it continues to evolve overtime to meet changing demands.

For cyclists, a few sessions with a personal trainer can help you feel comfortable and confident in your off-season strength training and in-season maintenance work. Today, mobile apps make personal training more effective and efficient than ever. You can meet with your trainer to do your assessments and cover the basics. Then, you can do the rest via fitness apps like True Coach that allow you to track progress, communicate with your trainer, and watch videos of exercises you cant remember when youre at the gym and your trainer isnt around.

Jacobs Stock Photography LtdGetty Images

Training with free weights like barbells, kettlebells, dumbbells, and medicine balls is a hot and growing trend right now, largely thanks to the rising popularity of functional and CrossFit style workouts and gyms.

World-class professional cyclists like Kate Courtney and Peter Sagan have put to rest any worries that weight training and cycling dont mix. Free weights recruit all your major and minor muscles, improve your balance and proprioception, and help build boneall things that will make you better on your bike.

Technically defined as more than five participants, group training is just that: a group of people led through a fitness routine by an instructor. The idea is to motivate people to move by making exercise fun and social.

Cyclists are all about that. In fact, we love group training so much we even have a special word for a pack of us: peloton, which not coincidentally is the name of one of the most popular group training workouts on the planet. If you tend to be a lone wolf on the bike, try a group ride for 2020. Youll be glad you did.

Thomas BarwickGetty Images

HIIT, which is a workout that involves short bursts of high intensity exercise followed by a short period of rest, has been a chart-topper since 2014, when it was the #1 trend of the year. HIIT doesnt just make you fit, but also boosts brain health, tames stress, improves body composition, and fends off a host of chronic diseases.

As a cyclist, you should absolutely be doing HIIT training. Even if you never sprint for a finish line in your life, HIIT training will help boost your endurance performance so every ride feels easier and you can hum along longer and stronger without hitting the wall.

Caiaimage/Richard JohnsonGetty Images

If you heard the news that Google is buying Fitbit for a cool $2.1 billion, it will come as no surprise that wearable technology is the #1 fitness trend for 2020. Wearable technology includes fitness trackers, smart watches, heart rate monitors, and GPS tracking devices. Its a $95 billion industry and shows no signs of slowing.

Cyclists, of course, are not new to any of this. Weve been routinely strapping on heart rate monitors since Kurt Cobain was singing about teen spirit and wont roll out of the parking lot without recording the ride. Were also early adopters to new cutting-edge wearable tech like the Whoop Strap, which dig further into our physiology to track heart rate variability, sleep, and recovery.

If youve never tried wearable tech, and well, Im not sure theres one of you out there, its well worth investing in at least a heart rate monitor, which not only can help you track your training progress, but also can alert you to underlying health issues before they cause trouble.

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These Are the Top 10 Fitness Trends for 2020 - Bicycling

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Recent release Drawing Your Line: Setting Boundaries Step-by-Step from Covenant Books authors Dawn Koufakis-Basel and Alison W. Smith is an enriching tome that tackles guidelines on attaining boundaries and inspires a sense of respect and control for ones self and others.

Press Release updated: Nov 19, 2019 06:00 EST

HOUSTON, November 19, 2019 (Newswire.com) Dawn Koufakis-Basel is a motivational speaker, womens empowerment coach, and founder of Precipice Life Coaching. Alison W. Smith is a board-certified life coach and founder/CEO of A Teachers Best Friend, a professional life-coaching service for teachers. They have completed their new book, Drawing Your Line: Setting Boundaries Step-by-Step: a cyclopedic account on nurturing personal empowerment and esteem in setting boundaries to have balance in life.

Dawn and Alison write, Drawing Your Line: Setting Boundaries Step-by-Step is a manual for developing the self-respect and empowerment that ultimately allows for the setting of healthy boundaries in various arenas of life. This process involves learning to find, respect, and use your voice to take control of your life. Inspired by their work as life coaches working with women, the authors share their

Published by Covenant Books of Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, Dawn Koufakis-Basel and Alison W. Smiths new book is designed to engage individuals and instill trust, empathy, and thoughtfulness.

This book serves as an efficacious tool that maps ones growth in setting healthy limitations in life.

Readers can purchase Drawing Your Line: Setting Boundaries Step-by-Step at bookstores everywhere or online at the Apple iTunes store, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble.

Covenant Books is an international Christian owned and operated publishing house based in Murrells Inlet, South Carolina. Covenant Books specializes in all genres of work which appeal to the Christian market. For additional information or media inquiries, contact Covenant Books at 843-507-8373.

Source: Covenant Books

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Dawn Koufakis-Basel and Alison W. Smith's New Book 'Drawing Your Line: Setting Boundaries Step-by-Step' Guides Readers to Develop an Awareness of...

Are you interested in learning strategies to cope with the emotional issues of divorce? Come to our free workshop in Hingham!

About this Event:

The end of any relationship, particularly by divorce, brings about many changes and emotional reactions. Join us for an important workshop led by Susan Trotter, Ph.D. to discuss the common emotional issues associated with divorce and effective strategies to manage them.

Whether you are just contemplating divorce, already divorced, or are going through the process, this class will help you feel more empowered, make more positive (and less costly) decisions in the process, and achieve greater peace of mind through it all.

This event is intended to be partly informational, partly social, and totally empowering ... in a welcoming and interactive setting. It will include a chance to socialize with other attendees and speak one-on-one with Susan as well as the other professionals.

At this event, there will also be Mediator and Attorney David Kellem, Realtor Lisa Axios, and Mortgage Consultant Kathleen Caddell to answer any legal, real estate or mortgage related questions you may have.

There is NO COST to attend, but space is limited, so RSVP to reserve your spot. Please change your RSVP right away if your plans change so that someone on the waiting list can attend.

Complimentary refreshments will be provided.

About the Speaker:

Susan Trotter is a Life Coach, with a focus on dating and relationships. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, and has been a therapist for over 20 years. Susan has a special interest in working with clients who are divorced or in the process of divorce. As a mother who has been through the divorce process herself, Susan has a deep appreciation of the complexities involved in divorce. Her extensive background in psychology, therapy and coaching, combined with her personal experience, gives her a unique perspective in helping people to achieve greater joy, satisfaction and success in their relationships and all areas of their lives.

This event is part of our Hingham Monthly Workshop Series. Every fourth Thursday evening of the month, a speaker will share their knowledge of a specific area of divorce. (Note that there will be no monthly workshop in December).

There is no charge for attendance. Advance registration is required at tinyurl.com/DivorceCopingNov2019.

If you would like to register for this event with us directly, instead of via Eventbrite, please contact Deanna at 508-744-6014 or Team@VestaDivorce.com.

To find out more about this and other informative and social events hosted by Vesta, go to our website at VestaDivorce.com. Or like us at Facebook.com/VestaDivorce.

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Nov 21 | Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Divorce | Hingham, MA - Patch.com

The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now

Dating coaches are nothing new. Here to help people find their perfect match, theyve been the topic of much discussion (remember Hitch?). Today, with the numerous dating apps available to everyone, the dating coach industry seems like it should be a thing of the past, but instead it is thriving, and with it its sleazier counterpart, the pick-up artist industry, is boomingcurrently estimated at $100 million.

The idea of trying to fix all of your dating problems through the help of a love guru is somewhat reminiscent of holistic health careits an industry entirely unregulated, meaning that just about anyone can become a coach, with no requirements of particular qualifications or education. Of course, that is not to label all coaches as unequipped, but the lack of regulation makes it difficult to distinguish the good ones from the bad, like real bad.

Johnny Cassell is a London-based dating coach and pick-up artist (PUA) charges his clients a minimum of 597 for his Impactful Connection Workshop, or a 7-day intensive workshop starting at 6,000. Cassell has a waiting list for personal mentorship, priced even higher than the rest of his services, where he teaches men how to master the art of attracting the women [they] truly want.

Cassells tactics have been widely criticised as he teaches his male clients how to approach and seduce the women of their dreams by flirting with strangers they meet in a public spacesomething many may see as street harassment. Cassell also teaches his clients the technique of screening, which has been dubbed the art of seducing (or manipulating) a woman into having sex with you.

While Cassell claims that his main aim is to help men work on their confidence and social anxieties linked with approaching women, it is uncertain whether he undergoes any particular training of consent or basic respect with his clientele. In fact, I myself was in contact with Cassell up until I sent my questions forward to him and his publicist, asking for his opinion on the criticism his industry receives for being sexist and exploitative. Needless to say, I did not get a response following that. My guess is that he probably doesnt care too much, but I decided to give Cassell the benefit of the doubt and interpret his silence as a busy schedule.

Negging is something that was initially introduced by pick-up artist Erik von Markovic, which is defined as the act of neither complimenting nor insulting the woman in order to try to lower her self-confidence and get her to become more vulnerable to the mans advances. Unsurprisingly, this is a tactic that many PUAs disguised as dating coaches teach their clients, and it is manipulative, exploitative and misogynistic.

Pick-up artists are the people who do thisnot dating coaches. Dating coaches are teaching people how to get into loving relationships, dating coach and relationship expert James Preece tells Screen Shot. The main drive behind Preeces work is to help people who are frustrated with dating, understand why that is; how to stop from going for the wrong people and how to start approaching love, intimacy and relationships in a healthy manner. As we all know, dating can be really difficultit is a challenging social interaction, and it is great that some people can find comfort and aid through working with a coach. But, just like searching for love, finding the perfect dating coach might be another perilous task.

Hayley Quinn is a London-based, female dating coach whose company guides people of all genders and sexualities, and teaches the importance of self-worth, confidence and the building of healthy relationships. She explains that, Its not just the dating coach industrylife coaching too, it is so heavily dominated by men and there needs to be more female voices.

The problem is that a vast majority of the population has been raised and taught to approach intimacy and relationships through a set of traditional expectations: that love is exclusively monogamous, usually heteronormative and must conform to outdated conventional gender roles (which explains why there are so many male dating coaches dictating the narrative).

Yes, dating coaches and pick-up artists have been around for a long time, but while our society is slowly progressing, as well as our relationships with it, the dating industry only seems to be regressing. New gens promote diversity, inclusivity and open communication, especially when it comes to relationships. So, if the dating coach industry wants to stay around, changes and new approaches must be made, because it will only be able to survive if its tactics undergo necessary adjustments.

The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now

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The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now - Screen Shot

AN international break can be the ideal chance to unwind briefly during an intense Premier League campaign.

Cherries players were given a few days off to reflect and recharge following defeat at Newcastle United last time out, before returning to work ahead of Saturdays crunch clash with Wolves at Vitality Stadium (3pm).

For centre-back Steve Cook, he used the opportunity to return to his roots in East Sussex to watch hometown team Hastings, where he holds a role as academy ambassador, beat Phoenix Sports 3-1 in Isthmian League South East. And the recent break in fixtures has also undoubtedly given Cook the opportunity to tackle another of his passions Football Manager.

The Sports Interactive and SEGA classic released its 2020 edition of the addictive game this week, but FM fan Cook began playing earlier this month having downloaded the pre-release version.

The 28-year-old, who has made steps towards his real-life coaching badges with his UEFA B licence, says he has considered the possibility of becoming a manager in the future.

He told the clubs website: Whether I want to be a coach, manager or scout, I dont know. I just want to have everything there so Im ready if the opportunity arises.

Hopefully Ive got six, seven, eight years left in the game. If Im still here (at Cherries), hopefully they would offer me a job!

But for now, Cook can try his hand in the virtual world. He began his quest for FM 2020 glory by snapping up one of his own Cherries team-mates in a battle to avoid League One relegation.

Quizzed on how his Football Manager 2020 career had begun, Cook told the Daily Echo: Alright. I started as Bolton.

I fancied a change. I brought Jack Simpson in, so hopefully he can do a little bit for me.

I was Villa last time and then ended up Real Madrid manager so, you know.

Asked if he had signed himself on the game, Cook added: No, Im not good enough!

I think Im a hard player to get out of Bournemouth, so I left myself to see what I can do in my Football Manager career.

Cook says a few more players in the Cherries squad are also invested in the game, but he admits he did have to bring a halt to his time spent on Football Manager 2019.

I stopped playing because it kind of took over my life a bit, he said.

Ive come out now and given it a bit of a go and its enjoyable. Its always nice, it takes my mind off this (real) sort of football.

Cook joked: I might have to get back to my family soon. They werent happy when I moved to Bolton!

Keen gamer Cook is not restricted to Football Manager, posting a photo on his Instagram earlier this season of a smashed console controller following a disappointing session of another popular title.

Yeah, Ive shelved FIFA for now, he smiled. Ive had to stop playing FIFA. Ive moved onto Call of Duty, so I can take my aggression out on that!

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Steve Cook on the quest for Football Manager 2020 glory, after signing one of his AFC Bournemouth team-mates! - Bournemouth Echo

Ryan M. Soderberg.(Photo: Submitted)

A 33-year-old Wauwatosa director of Young Life, anondenominational Christian group, is accused of pretending to be female on Instagramto lure a young teento take and send him sexually explicit videos and photos.

Ryan M. Soderberg, of Wauwatosa, was charged Nov. 7 in Waukesha County Circuit Courtwith sexual exploitation of a childand soliciting intimate representation from a minor, both felonies. On Nov. 11, a cash bondwas set at$25,000.

Soderberg is also a former JV soccer coach at Wauwatosa West High School and a former substitute teacher in the school district.

A couple spoke with a Waukesha County Sheriff's detective about their 14-year-old foster son who had been sending naked and semi-naked photographs of himself to someone who appeared to be a female in her early 20s, later identified as Soderberg, according to the criminal complaint.

The couple told police they wereespecially concerned over the fact that the person behind the Instagram accountcoercedand directedthe 14-year-old on what type of sexually explicit content to send, how to pose and how to produce and transmit thevideos and images, the complaint said.

All electronic communications the teen received were accessed using one of his foster parent's phones.

The teen had been communicating with someone using the Instagram name "sammyisabaddy," whoseprofile said shewas always bored [and]always looking to chat, the complaint said.The account was deactivated as of April 2.

A detective discovered the username was associated with an account holder in Wauwatosa.

The detective also found a conversation showingSoderberg stating he was 16 and asking for sexually explicit videos and pictures of the teen.

In August, the Waukesha County Sheriffs Detectives executed a search warrant at an apartment in Wauwatosa associated with the IP addresses using that Instagram profile.

Detectives spoke with Soderberg and his roommate. The roommate was cleared of any crimes.

The roommate, who works during the day, told detectives Soderberg workedfor Young Life, a nondenominational Christian group that encourages adults to build friendships with youth. He said Soderberg was one of the leaders of the Wauwatosa chapter and would occasionally bring Young Life kids to the apartment, the complaint said. Soderberg acknowledged having children from Young Life at the apartment.

Soderberg told police he is often home alone at the apartment during the day" and has struggled with a "pornography addiction," the complaint said. He denied viewing any child pornography, although police turned up evidence he had searched for "young boys" on a pornographic website, the complaint said.

Police also found that Soderberg had visited websites with sexually explicit fictional stories involving minor children.

He had also uploaded a picture of a blonde woman for the Instagram account, the complaint said.

A statement fromTerry Swenson, vice president of communications with Young Life, confirmed that Soderberg had been an area director for Young Life in Wauwatosa until August.

"As soon as Young Life leadership became aware of suspicions regarding Mr. Soderbergs personal conduct, he was removed from his Young Life role and from any contact with young people through our organization," Swenson said in his statement."We are deeply troubled to learn of the charges that have been made; Mr. Soderbergs alleged actions are contrary to all we stand for as an organization committed to the safety and well-being of young people.

"As part of that commitment, all our staff and volunteers undergo rigorous background checks before they are permitted to have contact with students. We have and will continue to cooperate with authorities as they investigate this matter, and we are grateful for their diligence and expertise in pursuing this case. We pray for healing for everyone affected by this situation."

The Wauwatosa School District sent an email to parents this week notifying them of the charges against Soderberg.

Soderberg was a JV boys soccer coach at Wauwatosa West High school from 2009-18, according to the school district.He informed the West High School coaching staff late this summer that he would not be coaching for the 2019 season.

He was hired as a substitute teacher in the district in 2008. The last time he filled a sub position was in 2017.

"The charges have no relation to Mr. Soderbergs previous time as a coach for Wauwatosa West High School," the letter stated.

The Waukesha County Sheriff's Office is asking for help identifying additional victims. Soderberg is thought to have victimized additional juveniles, primarily in the Waukesha County and Wauwatosa area, who have not reported the incidents to law enforcement, according to a press release.

Other account names may have been used, but it is not known at this time.

Anyone who has information that may be beneficial for the investigation should call Detective Mark Conrad at 262-691-6038.

Soderberg is scheduled to be in court Dec. 6 for a preliminary hearing.

ContactKaren Pilarski at karen.pilarski@jrn.com. Followheron Twitter at @KarenPilarski.

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A former director of a Wauwatosa Christian group has been charged with sexual exploitation of a child - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Bowling Is Life. The Rest Is Just Details.

Thats what it says on a T-shirt available online. Pat Kwiatkowski might as well have had it tattooed on his chest. Bowling really was his life.

He played on the first bowling team Canisius High School ever had. He met his future wife on the lanes at SUNY Fredonia and they would have three boys Scott, Michael and Matthew. And Pat would coach all of them on bowling teams at Canisius.

How he got the gig is typical of Pat, who exemplified the Jesuit motto of men and women for others. Scott was about to start his senior season on the bowling team and Michael his sophomore season in 1996 when the coach suddenly stepped down. With their season on the brink, Pat said he would coach for one year.

One year turned into two. Two turned into three. And three turned into 23. Only death has kept him from a 24thseason and from being at Canisius on Saturday when he will be honored posthumously at the high schools gathering for its distinguished alumni hall of honor and its athletics hall of fame.

Mary Jean, Pats wife, says shell never forget the look on Pats face when he got the call to tell him he had won the John F. Barnes Award, a sort of lifetime achievement award for contributions to Canisius athletics.

He was so happy, he cried, she says. He said, We did it. And by we he meant our family as a whole we all did it.

For Pat, who died at 65 in September, it was always about family. He was even coaching up his grandkids ages 10, 7 and 5 when they bowled Saturday mornings on Grand Island.

Full disclosure: Pat was my Canisius classmate. We graduated a lifetime ago, in 1972. He is the second member of our class to receive the Barnes award, named for the high schools legendary football coach. We could have predicted the other one.

John Buszka was a baseball star who led the Crusaders to Georgetown Cup championships in 1971 and 1972. Pat, meanwhile, was a middling bowler on that inaugural team that didnt win a title. (Bishop Turner won the first league championship.)

Pat Kwiatkowski, left, and John Buszka in the 1971 Canisius High School yearbook.

Bowlers are usually thought of as the nerds of school, not your true athletes, Mary Jean says. Thats not right. It takes stamina and skill. They really are great athletes.

Shell get no argument from Buszka, who was also a member of that first Canisius bowling team in 1970-71. Buszka would go on to baseball stardom at the University at Buffalo, where he led the nation in batting average in 1976.

I asked Pat once how he learned to coach, Buszka says. He said you talk to people, you do the research and you support your kids. He was completely dedicated to Canisius.

Pat won more than 700 games a win clip of better than 70% in his coaching career, including 10 championships. He leaves the program in good hands: Michael, who has been coaching JV for his father for 12 years, is the new varsity coach.

Michael teaches fourth-grade math at Herman Badillo Bilingual Academy in Buffalo. His brothers work at Jesuit schools Scott in sports information at Fordham University and Matthew in admissions at Canisius College.

Michaels melancholy first act as varsity coach was gathering his players to tell them his father the man they called Coach K had died. Michael didnt want them to hear it from social media or anywhere else.

The team finished third last regular season, behind St. Joes and St. Francis. Then, in the All-Catholic meet, the Crusaders played out of their minds and won the postseason title by almost 100 pins over St. Joes and more than 200 over St. Francis.

They did it for him, Michael says. Theres no other explanation for it.

Coach Ks bowlers didnt know for sure then that it was his last hurrah, but they understood it well could be as he had struggled with heart issues for years.

Pat spent the last week of his life in the ICU at Kenmore Mercy Hospital. Thats when his sons heard for the first time the full story of how their parents met.

Pat bowled on the mens team at SUNY Fredonia and Mary Jean bowled on the womens team love on the lanes, if not at first sight. Pat was originally dating someone else on the womens team. When they broke up, Mary Jean thought it was admirable Pat was still coming to see his former girlfriend play.

And she said, Are you an idiot or what? Mary Jean says, laughing. Hes coming to watch you.

They began dating soon after. They were married for 42 years. They had three sons at home and hundreds more on all those bowling teams.

He had a heart of gold when it came to those kids, Mary Jean says. They were all his boys.

Make that a heart of blue and gold. Pats great heart gave out on Sept. 10, but his legacy lives on: The Crusaders open defense of their All-Catholic title later this month with Michael at the helm.

At his fathers funeral, at St. Thomas Aquinas in South Buffalo, Michael offered a eulogy with this parting salute: Enjoy bowling with the angels.

The imagery speaks of strikes and spares on celestial lanes. Time to update the T-shirt:

Bowling Is Afterlife. The Rest Is Just Details.

Read more:
Column: Bowling gave 'Coach K' his life. He returned the favor - Buffalo News