When Aditi Surana was 14 years old, a handwriting coach pointed out that she had spent the better part of an hour carefully drawing a string of zeroes on the page. Instead of feeling apologetic or embarrassed, Surana looked at the writing carefully and found that there was definitely a pattern there. And patterns usually say something or can be decanted for meaning.

Graphology seems a rather odd gateway to a podcast, but what Aditi Surana has done is combine her longstanding passion for handwriting analysis with her skills as a high-performance coach to create the context for conversation.

In each episode of IVMs new podcast series, Absolutely Write, Surana engages with a guest to unpack their personal journey while she peers into their handwriting for clues to their personality. The conversations are open-ended and somewhat winding, peppered with friendly banter and some serious reflective pauses.

Complicated conversations actually offer insights to the passive listener, says Surana, explaining what she hopes to achieve with her podcast. Just listening to someone talk about their journey in a non-judgmental space can create clarity.

Surprises, anyone?

Guests on the show so far have been IVM insiders, hosts of other podcasts, and hence there is a level of comfort and familiarity that comes through. This is also the limitation, precluding any real surprises for either the host or by extension the listener.

Surana is quick to note that this is by design, as the team wanted to include guests who were comfortable with the medium. To her credit, Surana is able to bring in a measure of the unexpected when she unravels the dots and crosses in the writing samples from her guests.

Trait and reason

Speaking with her first guest Anupam Gupta, host of the business podcast Paisa Vaisa, she points to his habits of close observation and attention to process as a basis for decision making, expressed in parenting styles as much as in advising on stock market moves.

Rather than becoming caught up with the handwriting itself, Surana then pulls back to ask Gupta on how he applies this trait to his work as a financial analyst. This is where, potentially, the learning for the listener takes place. Clearly, having a seasoned podcaster as a guest helps smooth awkward pauses, though tell-tale nervous laughter does punctuate some of the early shows.

Podcast episodes toggle between interviews with these selected guests and shorter pieces launched every Friday where Surana focuses on a topic that is essential to your personal growth. These deal with such themes as our relationship with money, building and breaking habits, and finding flow (recalling Eckhart Tolle), speaking, clearly, to an audience that enjoys self-help as a genre.

Achievers in conversation

If you are among those who enjoy listening to how someone found their groove, Id like to recommend another show that recently came to my attention. Former NPR journalist and U.S.-based leadership coach Chitra Ragavans When it Mattered engages achievers in conversation around their professional journeysand the personal moments that propelled them to success or brought them back from the brink of failure.

Started in July 2019, the podcast has had guests including former FBI Director James Comey and physician-astronaut Shawna Pandya.

Ragavans long experience with radio and her training as a journalist comes through in her audio style, the research that informs the interviews, and the expert way in which she guides the conversation to yielding those decisive moments.

The Hyderabad-based writer and academic is a neatnik fighting a losing battle with the clutter in her head.

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The writings on the page - The Hindu

Tracee Ellis Ross New Royalty: Television

Ross wears an Alexander McQueen dress; Gianvito Rossi shoes.

Photographs by Mario Sorrenti, Styled by George Cortina; Hair by Recine for Rodin; Makeup by Kanako Takase for Shiseido at Streeters; Manicures by Lisa Jachno for Chanel at Aim Artists.

Earlier this month, Tracee Ellis Ross shared a video on Instagramnot a groundbreaking action necessarily, especially since many of our favorite celebrities have upped their social media usage in quarantine. But her message broke the so-called fourth wall. In her typical slapstick way, she let the leaf of her house plant flop around near her face. Using a faux-husky voice, she said, "I want to share something that's been helpfulit's not what you expect." Then, on a dime, she shifted, her voice normal again: "How are you guys doing, seriously? How are your hearts? I know my heart feels really heavy." For me, this clip epitomized the singular way Ross has balanced humorsomething we need desperately right nowand genuine outreach to her audience during the coronavirus pandemic, and made it into something of a salve for uneasiness. She is equal parts comedienne and activist.

When she got on the phone from her home in Los Angeleswhere she's currently working on five film and TV projects, along with her hair-care brand Patternour conversation went the same way. She'd dive into a goofy joke, and the next minute, deliver a credo on patience, humanity, and life itself that sounded straight from the pages of an Eckhart Tolle book. Her careful consideration and real interest in people calmed me down a bitsomething I haven't felt in a while. Needless to say, she took on a persona her followers bestowed upon her, and went full Aunt Tracee.

In this interview, Ross discusses her approach to social media during a crisis, the importance of her group text (it's called "Keanu Forever"), and why listening to David Sedaris audio books helps her sleep at night.

Where are you right now?

Im in L.A., at home, like most of us. I havent been out of the house since March 12, I dont think. Last week was a doozy. It was like, okay, wait a minute, is this still happening? This is still going on now? I feel like its the least amount of sacrifice considering what so many others are showing up to do to keep us all afloat. Being uncomfortable is a privilege when theres so much real pain and loss going on.

I just keep reminding myself that staying home is for a higher good. If I think of it as me being of service to people that are faced in a more immediate and direct way with danger, it relieves the pressure of feeling bad that youre feeling bad. My friend Kerby Jean Raymond reminded me of that when we were catching up on the phone last night. He always thinks about more than himself, it seems. Its really easy to forget the helpful things, and thats why I like to swim in a currency of good stuff, and good reminders. He was so helpful in reminding me of that: Youre being of service, and you can take the self out of it.

I also think theres a lot to be said for allowing yourself compassiontheres some space to give yourself on the feelings. This is a collective experience that none of us have ever been in before. Our physical well-being and our health is the overarching theme right now. But at the same time, theres also a mental well-being that all of us are navigating that is part of the whole experience. That is no joke.

How have you been keeping up with friends and family?

Ive done a lot more luxuriating on the phone and FaceTiming. Its been supportive to the experience. My core group of girlfriends are all in New York, and I dont see them all the time. Ive cooked dinner with them and talked to them more often than normal. Its been really helpful. Ive had dinner with Romy [Soleimani] and cooked dinner with my friend Monica, and we have a really fabulous text thread. I would have to ask them if its appropriate to tell you the name of our thread because its so good. You know what, Im gonna breach our privacy. Theyre probably gonna get so mad! Our thread is called Keanu Forever. It happened ages ago, because I rode in an elevator with Keanu during last years Met Ball. It was literally just Keanu and me in an elevator. It was such a short elevator ride. I thought so much was gonna happen. Like a proposal.

At the very least.

And so I went on our thread afterward, and was telling the story. I dont know which of us changed the thread to Keanu Forever. It just stuck and its hilarious. I have another thread called Cabo Bitches.

Those have been the most helpful: the friendships that Ive had continue to bolster me, and that love and connection has been so fulfilling. The group calls with my family make me cry. I have a very close relationship with my family and I dont just mean my mom and her kidswe do those regularly, and with all the grandkidsbut also with my aunts and cousins and uncles, and my mom and all of her siblings, and all of the cousins I grew up with. It is so special. I not only love my family, I really like them.

And theyre incredibly smart, one of my first cousins is a doctor, and she is in Detroit. Her specialty is OBGYN, but like most doctors with specialties right now, theyre leaning into just COVID 19. My cousin Stephen's wife, Gina, is also a doctor with a specialty in OBGYN and something that I cant pronounce, shes in Atlanta, in a hospital there. My cousin Alaina is a civil rights attorney. And the three of them are actually the ones I did a post on, my two cousins that are doctors and my aunt whos a doctor as well. They all helped me put together the post that I wrote about how this is disproportionately affecting the African American community in terms of mortality rate.

What has been top of mind these days?

That pain is not something that you compare. For some people, boredom and discomfort does fall into other categories, where it really is more than boredom and its more than discomfort. Its a real mental anguish. So I have deep compassion for all this, because I feel like theres such collective trauma were all making sense of with no roadmap. None of us have experienced anything like this before. Its hard to wrap your mind around and your heart around. Its like a sci-fi movie. And it doesnt seem like anyone has any answers. That in and of itself is difficult. The unknown is always difficult, but we have the illusion of some sort of plan. And now, theres not even an illusion of a plan. Were just figuring it out as we go. Its just like, Okay, my god! Whos the parent here?!

With that in mind, how do you go about figuring out what you want to share on social media?

Ill be honest, I have not been on social media as much as I am when Im working. When Im working, social media is such an easy place to kind of scroll through, because of the pace we work at. And I can never really dive into a book or e-mails, or other work because Ive got lines swirling around in my head. Ive been going on to look at my DMs, to post, and I kind of swipe around a little bit, but I havent been intensely connected through social media.

When I do post, I try really hard to research my information and to go to people that are experts and actually know what theyre talking about, to give that information credibility and share accurate information. Share joyful information, share a loving, connected, honest, accurate information. Because I find that theres a lot thatit could be true, but we dont really know, because it hasnt been researched.

Its interesting to me that youre saying youre staying off of social media, because it feels like youre giving people an inside look at your lifewhich youve always done, but in a way, it seems really personal right now.

Its funny, because its hard for me: Ive picked particular places in my home that Im comfortable sharing. Its not that Im a private person, I just have a real sense of what sacred means. And I honor those things with great care. Those things that are sacred to me are not for public consumptionhowever, I have grown to be somebody who enjoys sharing how I hold myself emotionally. And now, some of those things have been really fun to share. I really loved sharing the socks on my hand. People were writing me: You know, you can buy gloves for that. Im like, I know! But I got socks! So why I gotta buy the gloves? I get it, I know I can. But, like, I got the socks. So were good, right? These seem to work just fine. Theyre like a mitten, with no thumbs!

I dont know if you know how many articles were spawned from that Instagram post. There are three pages worth of Google results.

Are you serious?

Yes, people are like, Check out this life hack that Tracee Ellis Ross does for her hands!

People were like, I dont know if you know whats in Bag Balm. I was like, no, I dont know whats in Bag Balm! Am I in trouble? Whats happening? You can use whatever you want, its the socks! Thats the key, the socks, people!

Do you know how much people use your likeness in photos and videos as memes? Like that video of you with the Ulta bag is so widely used as a reaction meme.

That kills me. That shit is hilarious. And I get it, because I do think that to a certain extent, I move like a cartoon character, and I feel things in very big ways and Im an animated, gesture-filled human being. My personality is probably perfect for memes.

One thing I really love about your approach to social media is that youre able to have this, at times, comedic approach while youre talking to your followers, but also maintaining a sensitive message. Im wondering how youre able to balance that.

Someone asked me the other day: Do you think theres a place for comedy in this? I dont even know if comedys the right word. Theres always a place for laughter. Theres always a space for joy. I think that is a revolutionary act, in all honesty. Its a choice thats about perspective and how you look at things. I think I am truly being very mindfulI really am just very aware of all of the different responses and experiences that people are having. I think social medias old use does not match where were at. The crassness of some of the humor at other peoples expense, all of those kinds of things, the glimpse into extravagance and all that, just doesnt match where were at. We do have to be extremely mindful of everybodys vulnerabilities and sensitivities right now, and the fact that everybodys nervous systems are a little bit shot.

I dont know about you, but most everyone I know has gotten a nice big, basket or tunnel of fear just sitting there, waiting, and it takes everything in my power to keep turning my attention somewhere else and to a different narrative. One thats like, What can my hands actually do? What do I actually have control over in my world and in my mind? What am I going to eat today? Who can I call to check in on someone else, particularly when I need to be checked in on and nobody seems to be checking in on me in that moment? How can I take that feeling and turn it around toward somebody else and find a connection there?

Today, it seems the biggest joys I get are deciding what Im gonna make to eat, how Im gonna prepare it for myself, so that when I sit down to eat it, it actually looks beautiful. I have found that my mindful practice of being present with what Im doing when Im doing it, knowing where my hands and my feet are, has been extremely helpful. Allowing myself to let my heart feel the heartbreak and anguish that so many are feeling and not try and push those feelings away but give them space, but not let them be the full story, because that will make anyone go down a rabbit hole. I know weve done a lot of thanking of the first responders and all of those that are doing essential jobs that are keeping us all afloat. But i also feel a real call to continue to remember that although this virus is invisible for the majority of us, for the first responders and the healthcare workers, it is not invisible.

We need people. And I think part of what all of us have been navigating in our own private ways is how do you find comfort for yourself? Where do you go when you are frightened? Without a hug, without the distraction of making a plan to go to dinner, without the ability to hear an impulse inside you and know all of the ways that we used to answer those impulses, What do you do in this? And how do we want to envision what it will be after? What are we making sense of, while still honoring the human experience and the reality of what that is? And it really does highlight the compassion that all of us should have always been dialed up on, surrounding so many different parts of how our society treats people and responds to people.

How did the transition to working from home go?

It was a little bumpy for me, 'cuz Im not going to lie, I am not the most technically savvy human being. When it comes to Zoom, and Blue Jay, and all these other things, Im like, I dont fucking know what Im doing. I thrive in isolation, and I am a person who plays an extrovert in my job, but Im really a bit of an introvert. And I will also admit that I dont spend a lot of time at home. When I started quarantining, I was like, why the fuck is this Internetmy mom told me I should stop using so many curse words, so hold onwhy for goodness sakethere we gois this Internet so slow? I finally got on the phone with the right people at my Internet provider; and that man was so kind. We checked my Internet speed, and he said, Yeah, thats very slow, maam. I dont think your equipment is up to date. Its from 2010. I was like Oh! Goodness me. So the beginning of transitioning to online work was not easy.

But now, I am great. I do all the Blue Jays and Zooms and FaceTimes. Keeping up with the work has actually been very encouraging. It gives me something to look forward to. Its given me an opportunity to continue to use my mind; I have more time to think creatively right now, I have more courage to think creatively. One of the things I had to remind myself, which has also reminded friends of mine, is momentum and the course that we are on, the energetic journey of what we were all doing in our livesif that is a path you enjoyed and were happy about, whether that was you in college and getting a degree, or you on the path to getting married, got halted and shifted during this time, remember that has not stopped. Its just changing. Because there was a real sense of grief and disappointment, that of course you have to temper, because it is not the grief of loss of a human, of somebody you love, but of a way of living, or dreams. Theyre not gone, theres just a transition in how those things are going to happen.

I read an article in which you said youve been listening to David Sedaris audiobooks. Are there any other titles youve been loving?

David Sedaris is wonderful for going to sleep, because I kid you not, I go to sleep laughing. And for some reason, during this pandemic, falling asleep has been very difficult for me. I get tired, and usually cannot get myself to fall asleep until about 1:30 a.m. It seems that is when I am most acutely aware of the collective sadness and trauma thats happening, and its really hard for me to settle my heart and my mind. So David Sedaris has been really wonderful in the evenings. It distracts you in the right way. I can turn off the lights, and just allow that to be what Im hearing, instead of my thoughts.

I usually read multiple books at a time, so Im still in process with Untamed by Glennon Doyle. I started by listening to that as an audio book, but my sister suggested I switch to the actual book, because she said there are so many pearls in it I'd want to underline, highlight, and earmark. I also have not finished The H-Spot by Jill Filipovicits really worthy and its been fantastic. I just finished The Nazi Officers Wife by Edith Hahn Beer, which I enjoyed, and Less by Andrew Sean Grier, which I loved.I am a huge Ann Patchett fan. For anybody who hasnt read Bel Canto, it is a must-read. I have read every single one of her books. An all-time favorite is The Bluest Eye, which is actually read by Toni Morrison and Ruby Dee. It is like going to the theater; theres music, it is literally like going to see a Broadway play, but you get to use your imagination.

What music are you listening to in quarantine?

Okay, Ill be honest: Yo-yo Ma (laughs). He gets me every timelovely for a Sunday afternoon. Theres a great new Frank Ocean song. And I was a huge Fiona Apple gal growing up, and Fiona Apples new album is wonderful. Theres a song called Heavy Balloons that shatters me open. Im always a fan of Drake, and Rihanna. I've gone back to the favoritesI have a Bill Withers essentials album, and thatll get you through any cleaning experience, I can tell you right now. Bill Withers will take you through the bathroom. You will make it through the toilet with Lovely Day going. You will forget what youre doing, and you will absolutely make it to the other side, no problem.

Related: With The Long Lockdown, Riz Ahmed Gives Fans an Opportunity to Connect

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Tracee Ellis Ross Is Here to Soothe Your Frazzled Nerves - W Magazine

Picture a teenage girl sitting in a neon lit clinical room, having had her doctor excuse himself to an incoming emergency. Hear the sounds of the medics running back and forth in the corridor outside, while she stares down at grey-chalky stained t-shirt and hands following a rather spectacular vomiting session induced by liquid charcoal, the treatment of choice for patients taking an overdose. Thats quite an image, right? Welcome to my first suicide attempt.

The shame I felt as I heard the medics deal with someone who had not chosen to be in hospital, was equal only to the shame I felt as I saw the distress on my friends and relatives faces as they found out what I had done. This shame only served to drive me back into the hospital at a later date this time, in a less serious physical state, but a severely deteriorated mental state, having called an ambulance myself and told them I was going to kill myself.

Between the ages of 16 and 25 I bounced between therapists, concerned teachers, doctors, psychologists, and two crisis teams. Their combined efforts, along with a few select friends and family, made sure that my suicidal thoughts remained just that. Thoughts.

These dark thoughts, or as I like to refer to them, my doom demons thrive on uncertainty. Given the opportunity, my doom demons feed on worry, and panic, and gradually chip away at my morale until I struggle to see the positive in any moment. Eckhart Tolle wrote in The Power of Now that the thing that brings humans the most pain is holding onto the illusion of control in their life. For me, that spoke volumes. What would happen, if I stopped trying to control what is happening, or what will happen, and instead focussed on how to respond to it. What would happen to my demons?

In 2019, I attended a workshop with a Jack Canfield, and he uttered one simple equation that changed my life. Event plus response equals outcome. You cannot change the event. So the only thing affecting the outcome, will be your response. Change your response, change the outcome. As simple as that. Before I knew it, I was living my life with an entirely new mindset. I chose to take a learning experience from everything that happened to me. I chose to assess my reactions, to see how they affected the outcome, whether positive or negative. I chose to complete a certified course that allowed me to have such a deep understanding of mindset work that Im able to teach it to others. I chose to start accepting that while I could hear my doom demons making noise, I didnt need to feed them.

Skip forward to 2020, in the middle of a global pandemic, and I find myself locked down in Italy, with no idea when life will return to a normal state. My doom demons are rattling the bars of their cages, gnashing their teeth in hunger. They are the loudest they have been in a long time, and who can blame them. Their perfect meal is right outside. A world in conflict, an unsure economy, social media rife with judgment, negativity, worry and misinformation. Contradictory media, lonely isolation, and fear for the health of my family and friends. In the past, this situation would have empowered my doom demons into a state I would certainly struggle to come back to. But Ive learned that my mental strength matters. My doom demons cannot break out of the cages Ive built; using mindfulness, accountability, and most importantly empathy and forgiveness. Its ok that I didnt want to live before. Its ok that I missed opportunities because my mind was in a mess. Its ok that Im scared and worried, and its ok that sometimes I wake up feeling like a superhero and sometimes I wake up feeling like a sofa burrito. Forgiveness has forged the strongest bars. I might be in lockdown, but so are my doom demons.

Life certainly wont return to what it was before and I have no control over what will be. But for the first time in my life, Im alright with that.

Read the original:
Your Life as You Know It Has Ended Here's Why You Shouldn't Let That End Your Life - Thrive Global

Like many others right now, Selena Gomez is occupying her time with a little help from friends like Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and the complete cast of Saturday Night Live - virtually, that is. The singer recently shared her list of entertainment recommendations in an earnest Instagram post featuring candid photos of herself cooking. "I shared a few lists in my stories of things I'm watching, listening to and reading to keep me positive and help pass the time," Gomez wrote. "Hope it helps you."

"Hope it helps you."

Gomez's extensive list of movie recommendations includes recent releases like Invisible Man and Uncut Gems, in addition to cult classics like Clueless and Election. Gomez also appears to be filling her feed with hilarious content, as her list of Instagram accounts to follow includes a nostalgic basement-based video store and one that is a near-perfect re-creation of Gomez's own account, except starring a doll in her place. Perhaps the most intriguing recommendation, however, is on the music list, which includes "Snowchild" by The Weeknd, whom Gomez dated for nearly a year in 2017. Hey, maybe she's just relieved to not have been the entire subject of his recently released heartbreak album, After Hours. (That's for a different ex to worry about.) Later, she shared a playlist with even more tunes for Spotify's Listening Together collection, including songs by Taylor Swift, Kacey Musgraves, and Dolly Parton. Browse all of Gomez's suggestions ahead.

Related: Selena Gomez's Carefree Music Video For "Dance Again" Makes Me Want to Dance Along With Her

"If the World Was Ending" by JP Saxe feat. Julia Michaels

"You Say" by Lauren Daigle

"Snowchild" by The Weeknd

"The Blessing" by Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes, and Elevation Worship

"The Box" by Roddy Ricch

Story continues

Invisible Man

Jennifer's Body

American Hustle

Uncut Gems

Clueless

Sugar & Spice

After the Wedding

Zodiac

Election

Flirting With Disaster

Becoming by Michelle Obama

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson

On Purpose With Jay Shetty

Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!

Oprah & Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth

Get Sleepy

See the original post:
Clueless, Good Girls, and . . . The Weeknd? Selena Gomez's Surprising Entertainment Suggestions - Yahoo Lifestyle

Waking up at the lake is a radically different experience from waking at my home in the Bay Area. Why you might ask? I think it has something to do with perception, a deep listening, the kind of listening that is so absorbing, its as if your life has become a living concerto. You know what I mean? A musical composition if you will, one solo instrument, accompanied by an entire damn orchestra. Its magnificent.

I stagger out of bed with the rising sun, my husband is already up, space he recently occupied still warm, dented, rumpled. I glance in the mirror on the way to the loo and smile. The truth is my hair always looks good at the lake. Its true. No one has bothered to study this phenomenon but I have a suspicion it has something to do with that radically seized perception I was just speaking of. I actually see it differently.

My silhouette is narrower, like a block of cheese lightly grated, Im fully aware this has to do with a warped mirror, but thats beside the point, and admittedly it plays into the deployment of my mood.

When you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal. Paulo Coelho

Im acutely aware of the way my pajamas caress my skin, the crispness of the morning air, the cool tiles beneath my feet, the density of the warm mug in my hand, the aroma of the french roast. My eyes scan the scene spread out before me, as if butter on warm toast, melting into the landscape. January is stark, naked, and brazenly alive. The dormancy of the trees is striking against the lush foliage, a hibernation of sorts, in that everything slows down, goes into a prolonged fast, primitive, emptying, quiet. Im drawn into the alchemy of this primal world as if it were deeply embedded in my soul.

The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. Thats all there ever is. Eckhart Tolle

The ripples on the water boldly reflect the rays of the sun, smiling, winking, laughing as if a child at play. I notice the way the fog tantalizes the tit of the mountain, erotic, raw, unapologetic. The gentle movement of the clouds migrating ever so slowly across the sky forces me to concede as to the uniqueness of each and every day. I allow my eyes to hitchhike with a flock of pelicans moving west, scanning the irreverent flow of the water below, and then gliding ever so gracefully onto the surface as if a fleet of small seaplanes.

Gratitude is the understanding thatthe underlying gift of life and incarnation as a living, participating human being is a privilege.

David Whyte

I hear Larry say, bring me a cup? I literally have to rip my eyes away from the sumptuous view, as if removing the wax seal from a personal note, the trance is irrevocably broken. I move slowly back into the kitchen, reaching for his favorite mug, filling the vessel with a generous pour of fragrant dark roast.

[This is as far as I got with my post, the weekend at the lake slipped away, we drove back to the Bay Area in silence, back to our jobs, responsibilities, old wounds. I attempt to continue the tale but the mojo is broken, try as I may, I cant recapture the essence, so I allow it to flow in a new direction.]

I love the line from the movie The Way, you dont choose a life, you live it. The film is about pilgrimage, transformation, and spirituality, not necessarily religious, but rooted in the heart. Were currently viewing it in one of my classes. It illustrates the idea of letting go of what we think should happen, including our illusion of control, and living in the present moment, the only place in which we can actually emerge from the colossal womb of life. Osho says intelligence is the capacity to be reborn again and again, to die to the past, and live in the present.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past, if your are anxious, you are living in the future, if you are at peace, you are living in the present. Lao Tzu

Most people would agree compassion, prudence, kindness, perseverance, courage, wisdom, generosity, discipline, even humor are all important virtues. How we employ these virtues becomes our unique contribution to the world. If we knew just how powerfully our thoughts, words, and actions affected the hearts of those around us, wed reach out and join hands again, and again says Tara Brach.

Sometimes I live as if I have a personal canon, set in stone, and that which lies outside my limited comprehension is simply rejected. Jane Leavy warns trauma fractures comprehension as a pebble shatters a windshield. The wound at the site of impact spreads across the field of vision, obscuring reality and challenging belief. It seems to be the human condition. Birth is suffering, growth is suffering, the seed suffers the earth, the root suffers the rain, the bud suffers its flowering claims, Hermann Hesse. Oh, the injustice of judging others by our own warped compass?

Its mid-January, I might be succumbing to the darkness, frigidity, and barrenness of my surroundings, but sometimes I grow weary of the daily grind. I think thats why waking up at the lake is so incredibly illuminating. Eckhart Tolle reminds us, unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry all forms of fear are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. For some reason, Im most present when Im at the lake.

Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

I hand Larry his cup of coffee, in a different room, another home, a divergent environment. Moving towards the window overlooking my beloved patio, I return to my messianic view of life, to the sheer bliss of being part of this present, fragile, transient moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land, there is no other land, there is no other life, but this one says, Henry David Thoreau. Its more than I deserve, more than I can fathom, more than I am able to properly explain. The best we can do is savor the momentous living concerto playing out before us, our only response, a loud and exuberant Bravo!

Im Living in the Gap, sort of drowning without Facebook, dependent on my readers to keep me afloat. Please share on your social media accounts if you are so inspired. Looking forward to your comments below.

Anecdotes:

Previously published on Cheryloreglia.blog.

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A Refreshing View - The Good Men Project

Financial planning is about your future. The money aspect focuses on the question, Will you have sufficient funds to secure and sustain the future you envision? Financial life planning embraces the greater complexity of life and relationships, recognizing that finances are only part of a life-centered, holistic and integrated solution encompassing multiple issues.

Consider your life transitions timelines. On paper place a dot with your age, and then extend a line connecting another dot representing your age in 10 years. Extend a second line with another dot representing your age 10 years beyond that, 20 years from now. Do the same thing for loved ones, everyone who depends on you. That may include spouse, children, parents, grandparents, even key employees or partners in a closely held business where business continuity and succession is involved.

Its a startling question. How old will you be in 10 short years? Ten short years beyond that? What challenges are you and those you care for likely to confront? Suddenly you see the future and how quickly time passes.

A life transition is a significant challenge positive or negative, planned or unplanned. The most jarring are those that hit like a bolt out of the blue. Psychotherapist Richard Joelson notes, Most life transitions begin with a string of losses loss of a role, loss of a person, loss of a place, the loss of your sense of where you fit in the world.

To that wed add a major financial loss that compounds the difficulty of whatever else you are coping with. A risk adjusted investment policy combined with overall good money habits and what if? planning is crucial to managing the slings and arrows of life.

Life transitions planning to some extent relates to your age and the ages of those you care for. From your late teens into your early 30s you may be dealing with adulting, growing up, leaving home, adjusting to college or workplace, career decisions, marriage, a new baby. In your 30s and 40s, you may encounter parenting an infant, child, or adolescent; miscarriage or loss of a child; birth of a special needs child. Marital challenges may emerge disagreement, divorce, separation, infidelity. In your 50s, you wake up and realize that in 20 short years youll be in your 70s, and you have major and expensive life events ahead of you. Career and business decisions, education of children, caring for aging parents or grandparents, planning for retirement, defining what retirement means for you and your life partner.

Somewhere north of 60, issues of aging are likely to appear. Late in life divorce, physical or mental decline of self or loved one, remarriage. Disagreements involving retirement, where to live, potential relocation, are nettlesome when spouses are not on the same page. Older folks may be bailing out adult children, raising or subsidizing grandchildren. Business owners, skilled professionals, and other workers with a lifetime of experience may have trouble seeing whats next when it come to retirement planning and/or business succession issues. Older couples may fight over spending, travel, hobbies and passions not shared by the other. Grey divorce, the Silver Splinter, is on the rise.

Not a respecter of age are challenges like death of a spouse or other loved one, accident, serious injury or impairment, military deployments, job loss or career setback.

Notes Atlanta-based Dr. Drew Adelman, staff psychologist, Georgia Tech Counseling Center, other challenging life transitions include questioning lifes meaning and purpose, questioning faith and spirituality, questioning sexual or gender issues. Comprehensive financial life planning often requires a team approach, involving spiritual counselors, medical personnel, psychologists, legal counsel, human capital experts. Talk with your financial planner, but he or she should not stray into areas where they lack expertise or licensing.

You may go through more than one major life transition at the same time. In fact, one circumstance may lead to another. Money troubles make everything worse! Solid spiritual grounding is foundational to mental health and the handling of major challenges, especially those of the jarring or enduring, seemingly never-ending, variety. People of strong faith seem better at coping, crafting solutions, finding ultimate peace.

To successfully complete a life transition, you must leave something behind. Those who cling to what was never really transition. They remain trapped in draining confusion with diminution of financial, mental, and physical health. When faced with a challenge, seek advice. You want to identify the best alternatives to deal with the challenge, plus resources (financial capital and human capital) to power the best alternatives. Begin your quest with the end in mind, clearly defining expectations, what you wish to experience.

Change begets opportunity. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle counsels, Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge. Attitude is more important than facts.

Lewis Walker, CFP, is a financial life planning strategist at Capital Insight Group; 770-441-3553;lewis@lewwalker.com. Securities & advisory services offered through The Strategic Financial Alliance, Inc. (SFA). Lewis is a registered representative and investment adviser representative of SFA, otherwise unaffiliated with Capital Insight Group. Hes a Gallup Certified Clifton Strengths Coach and Certified Exit Planning Advisor.

Lewis Walker, CFP, is a financial life planning strategist at Capital Insight Group; 770-441-3553;lewis@lewwalker.com. Securities & advisory services offered through The Strategic Financial Alliance, Inc. (SFA). Lewis is a registered representative and investment adviser representative of SFA, otherwise unaffiliated with Capital Insight Group. Hes a Gallup Certified Clifton Strengths Coach and Certified Exit Planning Advisor.

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The age wave and life transitions | Investment Coach | thecrier.net - Dunwoody Crier

MOSCOW, March 3, 2020 /PRNewswire/ -- Celebrated Russian author and philosopher Zinovia Dushkova, Ph.D., was recently named as one of the "100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2020" by Watkins Mind Body Spirit magazine. The London-based metaphysical authority publishes the yearly list to distinguish living spiritual teachers. Ranked as number 49 among the Dalai Lama, Pope Francis, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra, Dr. Dushkova is the first woman from Russia and the former USSR countries to enter the list.

With a rapidly expanding American readership, Dr. Dushkova is already famed in her native Russia and throughout the post-Soviet countries for a vast body of written work that includes approximately 60 books. She was introduced to American readers with her bestseller, "The Book of Secret Wisdom," despite initial rejections by publishers.

Zinovia Dushkova: A Journey of the Heart

A survivor of domestic violence from both childhood and marriage, Dr. Dushkova became a single mother of two in Soviet Russia. In 1992, she began to realize her goal in life was to become a world healer through love and compassion. Since then, she has travelled extensively around the globe, visiting secret and deeply holy sites in Tibet, Mongolia, Nepal, India and many other countries in both the East and West. Her 60-plus-volume oeuvre resulting from those travels represents a living legacy of light and love, centered in the heart.

Dr. Dushkova is often regarded by many experts as one of the spiritual successors of Helena Blavatsky, the 19th century creator of the Theosophical Society. This tradition influenced many of the greatest minds and personalities of the 20th century, including Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison and Elvis Presley. The ultimate goal of Dr. Dushkova's work is to bring humanity toward divine wisdom, through the cultivation of qualities like love and compassion.

According to Dr. Dushkova, humanity currently faces great challenges, since the Solar System is approaching an invisible spiritual sun. Its energies gradually cause global warming on Earth and only loving hearts are able to assimilate them. If human hearts fail to transmute these cosmic energies, this results not only in increasing cardiovascular and cancerous diseases, but also in natural disasters and epidemics, such as the coronavirus COVID-2019 outbreak. To aid people, she created her magnum opus, "The Teaching of the Heart" series an overarching, rich exploration of all the ways by which the human heart can lead humanity to greater love, compassion, joy, connection and spiritual transformation.

Zinovia Dushkova: Self-Publishing Success

Dr. Dushkova's personal story is one of love and perseverance; a theme that she folds into her teachings as a way to explain a deep desire to illuminate love, and bring light to the darkest places of the human psyche. Her titles are often described as "books full of light," while readers are attracted to the unusual depth found in seemingly simplistic expressions of thought. Dr. Dushkova is also a poet, bringing beauty and musicality of language that distinguishes her creations.

Originally rejected by dozens of establishment publishers, Dr. Dushkova has since gone on to great popular success, selling nearly 100,000 copies of her award-winning English titles in multiple formats. She is rapidly gracing bookshelves all across the U.S., the U.K. and Canada, and is lauded as a living spiritual treasure. So far, "The Book of Secret Wisdom," "Parables from Shambhala," "The Secret Book of Dzyan," and the ten books of "The Teaching of the Heart," have been published in English by Radiant Books. Learn more about Dr. Dushkova at: http://www.dushkova.com/en.

About Radiant Books

Radiant Books is an imprint of Dushkova Publishing LLC, created in 2015 to publish English editions of Dr. Dushkova's work. Learn more at: http://www.RadiantBooks.org.

Media Contact:

Alexander Gerasimchuk +380986921493 [emailprotected]

SOURCE Radiant Books

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From Rejection to Success - Dr. Zinovia Dushkova Named as First Russian Woman to Renowned Watkins List of '100 Most Spiritually Influential Living...

What do relationships mean to us. Valentines Day Weekend is a time to consider our connection to love and what it means to our lives. The love and awareness we have of self is a gateway to how we view other people. Yet, often in close relationships, the desires we have for ourselves and self-awareness, are projected on to our family and beloved. We seek to change others, instead of accepting them unconditionally.

I find this layer very hard to achieve. As much as I am accepting of others, I also wish for them to be making healthy choices for themselves.

Perhaps helpful is to gain perspective. Eckhart Tolle teaches something which may be applied to help in this regard:

What a liberation to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.

Past our immediate thoughts and feelings, instinctual reactions and thought-responses, is something unfathomable a spiritual oasis which is innately peaceful, unconditionally loving and giving. It is a helpful skill to connect to this internal universe. That way we will be less inclined in future to be reactive, and more likely to respond with compassion. When the external relational world is cluttered and overly emotional, close your eyes, go within and touch the divine.

When you open your eyes, it will help to see your relationships from a divine perspective. The voice in your head will soften and shift in time to match your soul vibration.Patterns of hurt and reactivity can be overcome with this type of mindfulness.

Its a valuable reminder to enjoy the souls you have chosen to share this human incarnation with. I am sure I am not the only one, who has taken people for granted, or expected things from them. Its hard to avoid a certain level of expectation.

We are often also caught up in emotional arguments that cloud the feelings of love and heartfelt compassion beneath the surface.

Most of us have challenging individuals in our families and perhaps even difficult partners or lovers. There are many underlying reasons for this, and much complexity. It is important to honour the journey of others, and also acknowledge that we have chosen important figures in our lives to share our journey. If we have chosen it, there is a soul purpose for it. It may range from being quite obvious to being almost impossible at this time to understand or accept. This is particularly true of having abusive people as family members or partners.

It is important to both give and receive love. It is important to develop a balance of self-love and service of other people. If we go too far in giving or taking, then we lose this balance.

Some of us fail to balance our needs with the needs of others, being selfless or selfish. We fail to listen to our hearts, so we judge ourselves and others harshly. (quoted from Wisdom of Souls by Michael Newton Institute,p.89)

Why are people in our lives? Especially people we consider difficult?

We attract partners who are like us. Our unresolved issues draw to us others with similar emotional patterns. We have been designed to resolve our issues. Until we do, others will be like mirrors, reflecting our distortions and dysfunctions back to us. A closed heart will meet another closed heart, until we awaken. (quoted from Wisdom of Souls by Michael Newton Institute, p.109)

The goal is awakening, and what higher goal could there be? The people in our lives are not accidental. If we want to change what turns up, we have to look within and change our patterns.

This Valentines Day weekend, will you bless yourself with love and fully embrace and enjoy the experience of being human? Will you sing and dance whilst opening your heart to love? Will you connect with your loved ones and share the sacred blessings of I love you to those who have your heart. My prayer for you is that you will be the love you wish to see in the world.

With All My Love,

David

Be the love you wish to see in the world David Starlyte

Featured Image via:torange.biz

You are awesome as you are, and I love you!And if you love me back, please click share up at the top!

Please follow me on Facebook:davidstarlyteand Instagram: davidstarlyte

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Relationships: Portal to the Divine - Healing and Transformation - Beliefnet

When did you last lie?

Yesterday, in bed, hungover.

Does the supernatural exist?

Yes. Im a believer.

Are you fatalistic?

Yes. I think everything happens for a reason.

What is your greatest fear?

Failure. Its part of what has made me work so hard.

Animals or babies?

I have to say animals, they create less mess.

What talent do you yearn for?

Celine [Dion]s voice.

Do you like to be complimented?

No, I dont take them well.

Do you have a high pain threshold?

Yes. I love getting tattooed!

What book do you recommend most to others?

The Power Of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.

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RuPauls Drag Race UK: The Vivienne reveals the hardest lesson shes ever had to learn - Stylist Magazine

TMI: It's not just applicable to the stuff your best friend posts online about their kidney stones. There's too much information in general, online and everywhere. Too many opinions, facts, strategies and stories - but that doesn't mean some of it isn't worth knowing.

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A classic robotics video from Boston Dynamics in 2015. Think of how much more developed the robots are now! Yikes. [YouTube]

The US Navy has issued a policy banning the social media app TikTok from government-issued mobile devices, saying the China-owned video messaging service is a cybersecurity threat.

Google and Apple remove app

You know those cooking shows where you see chefs furiously stirring their broth or risotto? Thats the only time stirring has ever looked cool. For the rest of us, its an unbearable time-sink and a quick way to get sore arms especially if youre preparing thick foods like mashed potatoes. For that reason, we []

Wine is great, but wine poured with an aerator is even better. Its true that a jolt of oxygen does wonders for the flavor of a wine just before its poured. This Electric Wine Aerator & Dispenser makes sure that every pour gets its fair share of air, delivering oxygen over a wide surface area. []

How many times a day do you wipe your glasses clean? If you actually care about your specs, youre using a microfiber cloth and not your shirt. In which case, good for you. But even so, youre just removing the surface dust on those lenses not the grime and oil that accumulates on a []

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Get insights from the world's best business books in 15 minutes - Boing Boing