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Its fascinating how indignant people can get when other people lie about things, yet they readily accept the lies that they tell themselves all the time. Think about it. People respond with things like how dare you lie to me or we cant have a meaningful relationship if you lie to me, but then these same people are perfectly fine with how often they lie to themselves. When you constantly lie to yourself, you chip away at your self-confidence. And the more you allow yourself get away with it, the less likely you are to ever create the different life or career success that you say you want.

The great big lie that destroys career success is the lie people tell themselves about how they dont have choices and are unable to create a fulfilled and successful career. When we dont like any of our choices, we sometimes complain that we had no choice at all, and that is the saddest thing in the world. When we dont want to grapple with the negative consequences that come with choices, we complain about how unfair all the consequences are.

People blame their career failures on a lack of choices or options in life. But the truth is that the reason most people stay stuck in jobs they hate isnt because they dont have any choices; its because they dont like the choices they have because all choices have some kind of change or cost attached to them. People dont like that they have to give up something to make something else better happen. They dont like the risk and uncertainty of their options, and so they end up showing that they dont have the courage to make any choices. Hence, the status quo holds, and they never experience career success. It simply becomes easier to say that they dont have any choices rather than face the fact that they do have some but are afraid to make the change.

By falling for the big lie, people get to complain about their lives and careers and act like everyone else somehow has it easier than they do. They get to play the victim and sometimes become miserable about life. Again, Ive observed that people become most angry and upset when others lie to them, but yet they find it way too easy to lie to themselves on a regularsometimes dailybasis, seemingly without consequence. Here are some examples:

You name it. We have all kinds of plans for the things we need to do to get to that next level in our careers and have sustained career success, but too often these things end up as no more than lies.

Career fulfillment cant be achieved when people lie to themselves about how they will do something different to experience career success, but dont. This means that you have to get real with yourself about what kind of life and career you truly want and then face yourself about what you are willingor not willingto do to make it happen. You have to get real with yourself about whether or not you are willing to pay the cost to experience your desired life and career.

Dont ever get fooled into believing there isnt a cost (a trade off of sorts) on the path to success. Happiness has a cost. Peace and joy have a cost. And yes, life and career success have a cost. If you arent happy with where you are today, you arent going to just wake up one day happy. If you work a job that you hate, you arent going to suddenly start loving it. The great truth about lying is that we lie to ourselves more than we lie to anyone else, and too many of us find it completely acceptable to do so. If you want a better life and a better career, then take note.

Among other things, you eventually stop believing in yourself. How does lying to yourself make you feel? How do you hold yourself to account? Do you ever make repairs on yourself, and if so, what are they? What does it do to your psyche? How do continual self lies and lack of accountability impact your ability to actually follow through to sustain personal or career success?

As you journey through your career, you will have several different discussions and conversations with several different people, but be absolutely clear that the most important conversation you need to have for career success begins and ends with yourself. If that conversation starts and ends with you lying to yourself, you will continue to be unfulfilled in your career.

Original post:
The Great Big Lie That Will Destroy Your Career Success - Forbes