Too often, high-achieving professionals are frustrated, desperately trying to balance aspects of their lives that simply do not exist in a state of equilibrium.

A body or object is said to be in equilibrium when the sum of the forces acting on it is equal to zero. But I believe there is no magic organizational skill and no amount of planning or self-care that makes this possible. Work-life balance is, for many, a mythological concept because we attempt to expend equal effort where unequal effort would bring success.

Even as the literal concept of spending equal amounts of hours at leisure as spent at work became largely disregarded by well-meaning companies (that never had any responsibility to structure the lives of their employees at home), the phrase insists the only way to "have it all" is to have professional and personal success in equal measure. This unhealthy and unattainable standard can lead to an almost constant feeling of failure.

Here's how I coach clients to demote balance from its mythical, idealized status and develop a clear vision of a well-integrated life that honors individual circumstances and journeys:

Begin with the end in mind.

In his book The 8th Habit, Dr. Stephen Covey wrote, "People are working harder than ever, but because they lack clarity and vision, they aren't getting very far. They, in essence, are pushing a rope with all of their might."

Refining your vision is more than setting smart goals; it reaffirms who you are, puts your goals into a larger framework and context and moves your ideas into the real world. Your personal vision should not be a one-time, specific goal or target that can be met and discarded. It serves as a guide for activities over time; these activities are specific actions that can be adjusted based on circumstantial interpretation, and they should always move you closer to the abstract vision.

Writing the vision is important, as it gives body to the intangible as you design the life you're seeking. Ask yourself what you want your life to look like in one, two or five years, and include as much detail as possible. What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel? Vision is the foundation of intention. Your responses create the basis for your vision and the standard by which you will set your goals and tasks.

Break free of standards that are not your own.

I was initially surprised by how frequently executive coaching clients measured their present and future success against standards they didn't set themselves. We all have expectations that come from well-established scripts of how things are or should be in the world.

However, conforming to an ideal of balance or success simply because you believe people in your circle or reference group think you ought to is personal treason. From my perspective, this self-minimization fails to recognize individual conditions or ambitions, constraints or strengths and causes you to wage an internal war against yourself in the form of negative self-talk or other self-deprecating emotions.

When designing your vision, it is critical that you eliminate anything that does not represent the life you desire. It doesn't matter who wants it for you; they cannot achieve it and deliver it to you. If your dream career is to be a data analyst, it doesn't matter that you have been told you'd make a fantastic corporate attorney.You cannot integrate your life in a way that brings peace if there are standards that are warring against your personal vision.

Prioritize rather than compartmentalize.

Once you've developed your vision and identified the standards against which you should measure your progress and success, you can begin to prioritize based on your lifestyle and needs. Rather than siloing each aspect of your life, develop strategies to prioritize within your blended lifestyle.

When you compartmentalize, the limits of 24 hours in each day require you to de-prioritize goals and tasks that might be significant in an effort to give equal time to items that can wait. Without a plan, it's easier to fall into a reactive cycle rather than staying proactive toward your personal vision.

Prioritization might require a decision to forgo something you enjoy or deciding to work on the task that gets you closer to your own goals when everything on your list feels crucial. Compartmentalizing might cause you to work a full eight-hour day feeling the need to give 100% to the work compartment when a five-hour day would give you extra time for dinner and a strategy session with a mentor. If you're in reactive mode, its easy to overlook times when youre falling away from your priorities. This is when mindfulness becomes a true ally and time-management tool.

Embrace renewal as an intentional strategic practice.

Because life does not exist in equilibrium, we must approach renewal as a time to realign. There are so many forces working within our lives daily, staying upright and true to our "north" can be exhausting. Taking a moment away from all work modes renews our energy levels so we can continue and opens our minds for a creative spark.

Mindfulness is a time-management tool. It ensures we are expending time validly. The beginning of any control over our lives begins with identifying our treasure, developing our talent and prioritizing our time. This is where harmony and peace are found and perhaps what we might call "balance."

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Getting Past The Pressure And Myth Of 'Work-Life Balance' - Forbes