Neil Gaimans 2001 novel American Gods has a fascinating premise: all that we believe in becomes real, and as we add to the pantheon of our self-created idols, the avatars of older beliefs fade into irrelevance until they decide to declare war against the new kids.

But left out of Gaimans tale is the God of the Bible and His Son.

The temptation to mess with that proved too great for the new TV version of the story.

On Sunday, April 30, Starz premieres an eight-episode adaptation of American Gods, from Michael Green (Kings, Heroes, Everwood) and Bryan Fuller (Hannibal, Pushing Daisies, Dead Like Me).

Ricky Whittle (The 100) stars as Shadow Moon, a prison inmate about to get out of jail and be reunited with his wife (Emily Browning). Tragedy intervenes, and hes released early.

He stumbles into the company of the enigmatic Mr. Wednesday (Ian McShane), who hires him as a driver and bodyguard. They embark on a phantasmagoric road trip across America, meeting embodiments of ancient beliefs and modern obsessions, such as Technical Boy (Bruce Langley), Bilquis (Yetide Badaki), Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber), Mr. World (Crispin Glover), Media (Gillian Anderson), Easter (Kristin Chenoweth) and Mr. Nancy (Orlando Jones).

Interspersed with this story are seemingly after four episodes, anyway random vignettes featuring new characters interacting with other avatars.

Much as with The Handmaids Tale, TV critics with politics on the brain are rushing to declare the series prescient and relevant and prophetic and whatnot, because of the notion that the old gods came over with immigrants to America. Well, yeah, but people taking old gods to new places has happenedall over the world, throughout human history.But, sure, this is a time like no other, in the age of Trump blah blah blah.

Jesus is indeed added in physical form intoGreen and Fullers take on Gaimans story. Now, there are a bunch of different Jesuses, of different ethnicities and races, and one of them is an illegal immigrant. I cant tell you if its incredibly offensive or not, since Jesus is mentioned, but not yet seen, in the four episodes Starz has made available for review.

Im pretty sure Im not going to find out, either, because thats four hours of my life Im not going to get back, and Im currently not in the mood to hand over any more precious time.

Among the biggest killers of good storytelling are self-indulgence, self-regard, wretched excess, an inability to get outside of ones own fixations, and the conscious or unconscious needto bend stories to make a political point.

Starzs American Gods could have been a satirical look at the self-inflicted and dangerous idolatry of our age, if only it could have gotten out of its own way.

Images: Courtesy Starz

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'American Gods': Messy, Meandering Meditation on Idolatry Misses the Mark - Patheos (blog)