Writing can be lonely work. I read this statement in The Wall Street Journal last week in a column by a man named Edward Gerson. Thirteen years ago, at the age of 87, this man began writing for Dartmouth, his alma mater, chronicling the adventures of his graduating class of 1926. At the time he had about 150 people to write about. Now, at age 100, only 3 of his fellow 1926 alumni remain. So Gerson writes what he can about them, then writes his opinions (hey!) on things in general.

Who tunes in though? Who wants to hear about the three Dartmouth graduates from the Jazz Age? (Besides the occasional journalist trying to find a story for the daily oddball column). Who wants to read this column, for that matter (I know that you think its great, but that doesnt stop me from feeling insecure about how the others feel). Any of what follows obviously could be wrong, but its sort of scratching at the truth of what many writers face and all people contemplate: How do we react to that realization that maybe no one is listening, that maybe were alone?

As I write this in a cold garage (dont ask), I think about Gerson at his old wooden desk writing on a legal pad some 450 miles south of here. What does one worry about at 100? At 23, when I pause to consider my trouble, most seem more like distractions. Id be lying if I said there wasnt something in me that longed to spend more quality alone time, to go off into the wilderness on my own, like McCandless, Thoreau or Tolstoy at the end of his life. Why? There are plenty of reasons. Heres the main one: Sometimes you have to choose between being alone and being lonely.

Really though, loneliness is something you choose, and the choice is always there because youre always alone (to some degree). Dont believe me? Well, read on! Remember, I just play the game, I dont put the writing on the wall. If you think this is off topic for mental health, I strongly disagree. The choice between feeling lonely and being alone may be the most important one you make.

i:

Lets get back to our centurion correspondent, Mr. Gerson. Hes incredible in my eyes, for taking up the pen at 87. Im not the only one to think that. In the column, its mentioned that one 20-something current Darthmouthian sends him some encouraging fan mail. Knowing that you have fans can be fantastic (no pun intended). Im no celebrity, but I cant imagine they ever start to feel too famous. Dont tell me they hate being mobbed at the grocery store. Anyone saying they dont want fame is lying or trying to relieve the cognitive dissonance of not getting any. But fame is a double edged sword. If the subject of fame stops working for the sake of work and starts to work to please the fans, the results ring false. Just think of all those bands you know where the first album rocked and the second was eh. When youre just getting into a band, the go-to album is their Self-Titled release because its usually their first, and its probably their best. Those later albums pander to the fans. The choice is between working for yourself or for others. The timeless musicians take on their fans. Whether its Dylan going electric or Kendrick Lamar trying new sounds (see subtitle). Its not like the greats dont read fan mail or care about their fans, but like Gerson its not at the heart of what they do.

Darkos New Friend:

Have you heard the Nirvana song where the singer is happy, because theyve found all of their friends, and those friends are in their head? When I was in the hospital and outpatient facility, I met people, some my age, who heard voices in their head. To be honest, I pitied those people and was relieved that I was not that crazy. People who live alone with their voices sound like the kind whod commit an atrocity one day (i.e. the voice told me to do it). This is garbage, however. Its garbage because we all hear voices in our heads. Im hearing one as I write this speaking these words. Later Ill be hearing one telling me to finish my Econ homework (actually, I can hear it now).

The writer Eckhart Tolle had a transformative breakdown in his late twenties (as a Ph.D student) when he realized that the only difference between himself and the crazy lady on the train was that she said her thoughts aloud. This inner dialogue is basically the adult version of playing with imaginary friends as a kid. Sometimes when no one else is around, a kid might ask GI Joe or Barbie what they want to do not realizing that theyre really asking themselves. Most adults dont have a doll, but they perform the same self-talk without acknowledging it to themselves. When people are together, this self-talk can create problems. Why do you think communication is one of the most important job skills? We think we have conversations with others, but really were just talking with ourselves.

Poor Miss Lonelyhearts:

See the rest here:
Psyches & Serpents: Self-Titled