MELAKA (Herald Malaysia): When you add all the distractions and the pressures in todays world, Christian parenting becomes more than a challenge. A huge part of this challenge is passing on ones faith to their children who live in a society that is moving towards freedom from religion instead of freedom of religion.

Family man and old hand facilitator, Martin Jalleh backed his presentation with humour, and personal experiences in a two-hour two-way dialogue with parents whose children will receive the Sacrament of Confirmation at the parish of St Peters on July 1.

He said, First, as parents, you must live out your faith. It is impossible to give away something you do not have or possess. Children these days can spot a phony from a mile away. They are looking for the real deal from their parents. Living your faith can start with simple things like showing love, kindness, generosity, sharing time, exchanging views and just being involved with them. If your young ones see you finding ways to be a blessing, it will become a natural and normal way of life for them too.

Then you can also share your faith in their lives. Being a part of an active church shows your young ones that spending time with God is important. Another great way to share your faith with your children is to allow them the opportunity to make and develop Christian friendships by attending parish organised activities and gatherings.

Jalleh also commented that present day culture advocates strong parental involvement in pushing children to ever greater heights of success in studies, music, sports, and careers. However, by the law of averages, not every child will attain greatness, but that does not mean every child is destined to live an unsuccessful life, he added.

Some parents want their child to become exceptional at something versus a child with well-balanced and rounded life experiences.

Just enjoy everything as children are gifts from God and so are their abilities and talents. Also it is good to remind children that just because you are on top now, does not mean you will be on top later. Likewise, on the flip side, just because you are at the bottom now does not mean you will have to stay there always.

One of the major problem I see in our culture is that parents measure success in the wrong way, such as getting a good job, a nice home and family. We Christians put so much effort into the more secular side of success, but the measure of success for our culture do not always reflect the values we ought to have as believers in Christ.

Parents these days are tied to their childrens successes or failures. We view failure as a reflection of our ability as a mother or father. We need to separate our own identities from our children.

I think so many people feel they have to define their kids now, but we need to remember that Gods view is so different. It is not the achievement that is important, but the character that is developed through success and failure.

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